Rosalie's Baby
by Mortissues
Summary: Romantically you dream of who will save you from your agony, care enough to return for the one left behind.  Truly I must be cursed . . . .
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: Stephanie Meyer owns all. **

**Rated M for a several reasons. B****ecause it's me and, well, you know anything can happen . . . .**

**Prologue**

Argue, argue, argue. That's all we've done since he's taken an interest in that pointless human.

"If she's his mate, she'll come lookin' for us. For her." Jazz asserts, losing his tenuous grip on his accent under duress, as he always does.

"Don't be melodramatic!" Edward howls.

Sanctimonious prick. It's his fault we are even having this argument. And no one is going to listen to Jazz since his latest mistake was to attempt to dine on the unfortunate human in question.

Carlisle and Esme exchange pained glances.

Oh just get on with it. I growl inside my head. We all know you will side with the prick, why make the rest of us suffer?

Edward shoots me a look and I make sure to broadcast my thoughts loud and clear.

Wincing he looks away.

Hah!

Eventually we vote. Surprise, surprise no one is going back for the innocent and naïve human we dragged into our lives. Oh I know they all think he'll go back of his own accord eventually, but really, despite Jazz's expertise on the matter they all seem to be sublimely oblivious to the fact that while they play at doing the right thing she might end up dead.

God I hate having a sense of responsibility.

The others drift away leaving me alone with my mate.

"What are you scowling about?" He huffs, pouting so much his lower lip is practically on the floor. "I thought this is what you wanted?"

I turn on my heel and flounce away.

This _was_ what I wanted. But now it isn't.

Excuse _me_, but I didn't come with an instruction manual.


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: Stephanie Meyer owns all. **

**Rated M for ****several reasons. Lemon peel.**

**Chpt 1 The Get Away**

**RPOV**

Waiting for him to depart on his odyssey of self-flagellation is almost physically painful. Yes, yes. We get it, get on with it already.

I don't understand how someone supposedly so heartbroken can make such a fuss about packing. I finished _mine_ hours ago.

He has no idea what I'm planning, the easiest way to deceive the little mind reader is to be honest. And right now I'm so angry with him I'm surprised his stupid hair isn't on fire. Wouldn't that be an awesome gift for a vampire? Random hair singeing with no way to trace the culprit.

Alice has promised not to look at Bella's future but that doesn't mean she won't be looking out for the rest of us. Nosey. However I've worked out that even her gift can be circumnavigated if you bury decisions inside something or someone else's. It's quite simple, but I understand why her husband has so much _selective_ trouble with it. The devious little shit.

My poor mate is another matter. He knows there's something going on but I daren't tell him until Emo Ed has left the building. Not that he can't protect his thoughts as well I can, just that it's a waste of time for him because everything he is thinking and feeling is always writ large on his handsome face. So he'll have to suffer for a while longer because when that enormous Emmett is happy grin breaks out on his face even my self-absorbed brother will know something is up.

God this magazine is boring. What do I care about this summer's must have swimsuits, it's not like I'll be going to the beach like a normal person. Alaska, why the hell do we have to be banished back to Alaska? At least if we headed east we'd have plenty of things to distract ourselves with. There's only so many times you can play 'let's bury Rose in a snowdrift' before it starts to get old.

And he's gone. Finally.

Poor old Jazz looks better already. It must be awful to have his gift and feel what the rest of us are feeling on top of all his own guilt. Still he'll live, Nurse Alice is all over him like wet toilet paper, surely that must annoy him? It's annoying me and I've only got to watch it, he must have the patience of a saint.

"I want to hunt." I announce, getting to my feet and smoothing down my shirt.

"Want company babe?" Em asks, still down in the dumps but knowing how much I loathe hunting alone.

"Please." I hold my hand out and he takes it securely in his massive paw. Immediately I feel better. I can deal with anything, even sudden unwelcome outbreaks of conscience, when I have him beside me.

I lead him deep into the frozen wastes, wanting him well away from the house before I tell him my plan. Quiet he isn't.

Happy he _is_. And a happy Em is a rampant Em, not that I'd have him any other way.

Several hours later we return to the house and the knowing smirks of the family.

Jazz raises his eyebrow at me, detecting more to Em's sudden good mood than spectacular sex but I shake my head minutely, hoping he won't push it.

After we've showered I leave Em to pack his stuff and head downstairs for my bravura performance. One of the great advantages of being a famously shallow bitch is that no one ever questions your motivations. They will assume, incorrectly on this occasion, that I have tired of not being the center of attention and am acting out accordingly.

I flounce into the center of the living room where Carlisle and Esme are unpacking and Alice is mooning over Jazz. And I wait, head held high, until they admit defeat and turn their attention to me.

"Em and I are taking a vacation." I announce. "I am tired of all this drama and need some time away to recharge my batteries."

"Oh." Esme looks crestfallen and for a very brief moment I allow myself to feel guilty for hurting her.

"I had hoped we would be all be able to spend some time together." She says softly. "We don't know when Edward will come home and when he does he will need all of his family around him to support him."

One, two, three, four. Oh hell.

"He doesn't need our support." I snarl. "He needs his sparkly white ass spanking."

"Rose!" My father chastises me.

"Sorry." I have the turned the lack of sincerity I can adorn that word with into an art form.

"We have been through this . . . ."

"Yes, I know, I'm sorry." Genuine this time, you'd think at my age I'd have better control of my temper. "We forgive him for exposing our secret to a human and putting us all in danger. We support his choice to abandon said human and drag us all back here to the boondocks before running out and leaving _us_. We took a vote, we're a family. Did I miss anything?"

"The compassion?" He asks, raising his eyebrow and struggling not to smile.

"Sorry Dad." I laugh. "I was already near the front of the beauty line when they started handing out the compassion and it seemed pointless to move."

"Oh dear." Esme wrings her hands, wanting to chastise me herself but not wanting to create any more tension.

"Where are you going?" Alice asks excitedly. "I knew you would, but not where."

Dreary old Forks, that's where.

"I don't know." I laugh, letting the beautiful sound fill the room for a moment. "I've told Em he's got to surprise me, under pain of death."

My sister screws up her face, trying to read Em's decision.

After a moment she snickers.

"I'm not sure you'll like it. But it's certainly different."

Jazz is watching me quietly with a small smile tugging at his lips. I am closer to him than anyone else in the family other than my darling Em, we share each other's secrets and we guard them well. A part of me would love to tell him what I'm planning, show off a little, but it wouldn't be right.

"How long will you be gone?" Esme asks.

"I don't know a few weeks, a month or so." I shrug nonchalantly. "It depends how much fun we're having."

"You're so lucky." Alice sighs. "I wish we could take a vacation."

Jazz regards her in horror and we all laugh. One of Alice's vacations is like a military campaign and I'm sure it's the last thing my _twin_ needs right now.

Esme still looks unhappy so I stride over and hunker down to give her a hug.

"We'll come back if you need us. I promise."

She nods mutely and hugs me back and for a moment I allow myself to relax.

While Em packs the car I tour the garage checking that all the babies l left behind when we moved to Forks are still safe and waiting for my next return.

That awkward question they always ask at school would be easy to answer if I could only tell the truth. What is the first thing you would save in a fire? My cars, everything else I care about is pretty much indestructible.

We're going south in our fairly non-descript ford, the one Esme made us go to school in last time we lived up here. Boring but practical.

Hugs all round and we are finally free to leave. I purposely avoid looking at Esme's sad face in case I break down and admit what we're up to, or change my mind.

"What do you expect to find when we get there?" Em asks as we speed down the drive.

"A whiny, sulky, teenager dealing with her first broken heart, I hope."

"You really think Jazz's right an' that redhead will come back looking for us?"

"I don't know." I sigh. "I hope not, but with Bella's luck?"

He laughs. He and Emo Ed call her the danger magnet

"You don't mind?" I ask, aware that my scheme puts Em firmly in line to deal with Victoria if she does come back.

"No babe, she's just one girly vampire, how much trouble can she be?"

I arch my eyebrow.

"You're many things Rose but girly isn't one of them. And if the redhead has a thousand years to work on it she won't ever be as much trouble as you are. If she comes back, I'll deal with her."

He reaches over and rests his hand lightly on my thigh. He's right. Anyone that can cope with being married to me isn't going to have much trouble with a grief crazed vampire, more of an exercise in stress relief really, we all _know_ why Em likes to wrestle his dinner.

My idea is simple. I completely agree with Emo Ed when it comes to Bella being allowed to live out a happy human existence, where we differ is in how to go about it. As much as I might have made my opposition known we _did_ involve her in our world and we _did_ expose her to others in it. To abandon her now is criminally negligent, she doesn't deserve to die at Victoria's hand just because Ed's incapable of thinking through the consequences of his actions. I have no intention of becoming involved in her life, because frankly, I've had shoes I care about more than her. I reckon on three months tops to establish whether or not Victoria is a danger to her and then she's on her own, like every other human. And in the meantime she'll never know we're there.

As far as I can see there are two potential flaws in my plan. One, my darling husband, will he be able to resist letting his 'little sister' know he's around and two, how long will I be able to stomach the offensively dreary Olympic Peninsula before I go mad and kill someone?

My only other worry is Nosey, as much as we will try not to do anything to trigger one of her visions it's always possible for her to flash on something and if she finds out what's going on she'll snitch and then there will be hell to pay. Not least because like the others, I believe that Emo Ed will struggle to keep his promise to stay away from Bella. If he finds out we're here he'll come back and if he does I don't think he'll leave her again. Another area where we differ, when I say she should be left alone to live a normal human life I _mean_ it.

It takes us over 24 hours to get back by which time, with the aid of modern technology, we've managed to rent a base for ourselves on the outskirts of Port Angeles. An easy run from Forks, but far enough away that we should be able to dodge seeing anyone who will recognise us. Not that the justification makes any difference, the entire area is woefully short on options.

There must be something in the air around here that makes vampires crazy.

Why am I doing this? I don't even like her, she's such a _child_. If Victoria actually does kill her it would just be an example of natural selection in operation.

Eventually Em pulls up in front of our home from home.

"Humph." Is the best I can manage.

"It's not that bad babe." He chuckles, hauling our bags in from the car.

"It smells." I complain, drenching my voice in disgust.

Smiling he pulls me to him and settles us down on the craptastic brown couch, running his giant hand gently up and down my arm in a gesture he knows soothes me. Despite my irritation I'm soon purring like a contented kitten.

"I'll clean the house tomorrow while you go check on Bells." He says, kissing my hair.

"Thanks." I murmur, snuggling closer.

"I offer to do chores and all I get is _thanks_?" He asks incredulously.

"What would you like instead?" I growl seductively.

I can feel him waggle his eyebrows. Hah! As if I couldn't guess.

Smirking I work my way down his perfect Abs, pushing his t-shirt up and out of my way, worshipping each one with my lips and tongue as I revel in the way his muscles flutter under my touch.

Play growling, in company to his muted laughter, I take his pants zipper in my teeth and slowly lower it until his _appreciation_ springs free.

I kiss my way along his length, holding it lightly in one hand while my other caresses the sensitive skin behind his balls.

His body shudders and shakes as his hands gently stroke my hair.

When I've teased him to the point of pleading I take him slowly into my mouth.

"Oh god babe, _yes_." He gasps.


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer: Stephanie Meyer owns all. **

**Rated M for ****several reasons. **

**Chpt 2 Bella Watch**

**RPOV**

Month One.

Dear Diary, blah, blah, blah.

Dogs, the area is infested with mangy dogs again. I thought they'd all died out years ago. We haven't actually spoken to them but both sides have begun running the boundary lines established by the treaty, clearly there is still no love lost between us. Still, if nothing else they will provide another to deterrent to Victoria should she wish to return.

I'm not convinced that protecting Bella from that would really be doing her a favour. I've got more life in my little fingernail than that pathetic excuse for a teenager has in her whole body.

If I didn't know better I would assume that Ed gave her a lobotomy when he dumped her.

If I concentrate real hard I can just about summon up some memories of being a teenage girl and I'm pretty sure the way she's behaving is several degrees off normal. Em thinks so too and is lobbying hard for an intervention. I'd like to intervene too but according to him shaking her by the neck until her teeth rattle doesn't constitute helping and may actually be detrimental to her health. Sometimes I'm not sure even he gets my sense of humour, I do have a medical degree or two, I know precisely what a good vampire shake will do to her anatomy. The fact that I'm not entirely joking is neither here nor there.

She doesn't seem to be eating or sleeping and has lost so much weight she's like an animated skeleton. Her hair, which can actually be quite beautiful, is hanging around her frozen face like Spanish Moss, but less attractively. She's always crying and has withdrawn so far into herself that Charlie or her teachers practically have to slap her to get her attention. Not that her teachers bother much, zombies are obviously so much easier to have in the classroom than live children.

Her friends, not that she had many, are starting to give up on her and why shouldn't they? She doesn't talk to them, doesn't return their phone calls, and never goes out.

This is pathetic, even by her standards.

No sign of Victoria so all I have for entertainment is one snot caked human and my beloved Em.

Month Two.

Victoria has definitely been around. We've caught her scent and chased after her a few times but she always manages to get away. The dogs don't help either. Em nearly got into a fight with one a couple of days back, the upshot of which is that the redhead got away _again_.

I am worried though that my little three month sabbatical might take longer than I thought. Even though the redhead clearly knows that the bulk of the Cullens have left she still keeps coming back which means that she's obviously after Bella. A mate for a mate? Incorrect if so but she's not exactly going to let me explain that is she?

I want to go home. What's that saying? Oh yes, act in haste, repent at leisure and I'm rapidly running out of good excuses for not running back and taking part in the wake that is the family's reaction to Emo Ed's continued absence. Apparently they are all miserable and missing him, Bella and us. I'm not sure what Alice expected me to say to that little nugget of information, they voted for this and if they didn't want it they should have said so. Why people so often end up doing things they don't want to is a complete mystery to me, it's not rocket science is it?

Poor Em is at his wits end. The sight and sound of Bella's misery is tearing him to shreds. I wish I could be more help but sympathy and I are constant strangers. God knows where I was when that line was forming, probably getting my nails done.

Me, I'd say the urge to rattle her teeth is escalating to almost unmanageable proportions. For god's sake, he's just a boy and not even a particularly fine specimen either, his hair is ludicrous and he's so skinny Em has to be constantly on guard not to snap him like a twig when they wrestle. He's so afraid of himself he never did much more than kiss her on the lips or perv over her collar bones. I mean if you are going to be heartbroken at least pick someone worthwhile who you actually had some kind of meaningful relationship with in the first place. A shared predilection for that overly romantic sap Romeo and Juliet doesn't seem like much of a foundation to me.

Even Em taking me out dancing and to be admired hasn't done much to cheer me up. Just the sight of her miserable face through the trees is enough to make me want to kill something.

Get a back bone girl! What's wrong with you?

What is wrong with her? I know I've never rated her highly but everyone else, even Jazz, has always found something to love or admire about her and as stupid as they are _all _capable of being, surely they can't all be wrong about the same thing.

This can't all be over Edward. What could he possibly have said to her when he left to put her in this state? I overhead that bitch Jessica happily talking about her getting lost in the woods and the whole town having to be out looking for her but I can't imagine Emo Ed having anything to do with it. Despite his recent loss of reason he is usually so obsessed by her safety its borderline psychosis.

It is extremely aggravating to rely on eavesdropping for the purposes of gathering information, perhaps I should just kidnap Jessica and torture her until she tells me everything I need to know. It wouldn't be the first time and it wouldn't exactly be a chore, she always irritated me, if for no other reason than loudly wondering why I was considered so much more attractive than her. Poor eyesight is one thing but lack of self-awareness is another crime altogether in my book.

Maybe it's something in the air here that's making us all insane, I don't even care how miserable she is and yet I'm sat here in this tree watching her have nightmares and wondering if there is anything I can do to help.

I've never missed having a gift but I'd _love_ to be able to read her mind right now.

Month Three.

This morning Charlie finally snapped and threatened to ship her off to her mother, again. Something I still wish he'd followed through on in month one because then I could be at home right now instead of hanging out in this soggy tree. Yes, at this point even Alaska looks good, I may have bitten off more than I can chew.

And did that get a reaction from her, any sign of life? Hell yes! She lied to him. An actual barefaced lie, told without flinching or flushing up like a tomato.

Typical, she starts coming back to life just as Victoria is redoubling her efforts to end it. She's been sniffing around so much lately that it's got to the point where we're seriously considering approaching the wolves so we can work together. Separately we are managing to keep her away, as a team we might actually be able to kill her so that I can go home. What if I have to be her secret guardian angel for ever. How dull.

I'm not sure I approve of her choice of companion for re-entering the world. Jessica, really? I never thought she was that thick but clearly I was wrong, has she no appreciation of how little Jessica thinks of her? Just because she isn't outright nasty like Lauren doesn't mean she likes you Bella, wakey, wakey. Her sense of self-preservation is woefully inadequate.

Fortunately for me they picked a zombie movie to see, even Em would have balked at a chic flick.

After the movie she miraculously, but rather stupidly, shows even more signs of life by getting on the back of some random loser's motorcycle and speeding off into the night.

I must have said 'What the fuck!' out loud because beside me Em sighs heavily. He puts up with a lot but has a problem with ladies swearing and despite my declarations to the contrary, as far as Em is concerned, I am a lady.

For once, when Bella returns, Jessica and I are in complete agreement. Bella hardly seems the adrenaline junkie type and having been married to Em for all these years I'm pretty sure they enjoy jumping off cliffs not tantalising potential rapists.

I leave Em behind to put the fear of the walking dead into the random loser and his friends and follow the girls as they make their way home in Jessica's tragic excuse for a car.

I'm curious as to what seems to be pulling Bella from her waking coma because as far as I can tell nothing has changed other than Charlie's clearly toothless threat. But then I'm not exactly an expert on humans and my own experience of dealing with a broken heart was completely different. At least it had _better_ be. How would I have behaved if I'd survived that night?

Two days later I'm following her when she pulls over suddenly at the side of the road and does that bent over double, holding herself together thing, which keeps making me fear that there's actually something physically wrong with her that a good slap won't cure.

When it passes she sits there for an age, hasn't she noticed it's raining and some of us are getting soaked, staring vacantly into space before a strange look appears on her face and she gets out of the truck heading up to one of the houses and knocking on the door.

Motorcycles. Two broken down motorcycles. I watch in amazement as the boy helps her load them into the back of her truck. What on earth is going on in her tiny human head?

I follow her home pondering this new development. The bikes are little more than scrap and as far as I am aware she has no mechanical skills what so ever. In fact I'm pretty sure the only person she knows who has is me. My venom runs cold, does she know Em and I are here, how could she? Of course not, impossible.

Maybe this is some manifestation of her recently confessed adrenaline junky status. If so motorcycles are something I can relate to. Carlisle won't let us have them since the chances of an accident are so high. Not that he's worried about us getting hurt, just having to explain why we're not and the stupid car driver is.

As she robotically prepares another dinner she won't eat I text Em and he runs over to join my vigil.

"I don't like the idea of her on a bike." He pronounces when I've brought him up to speed.

I laugh.

"It's not funny Rose." He huffs. "She's the most accident prone being I've met in my entire existence."

"They'll never run." I assure him. "She has no idea what she's doing."

"Rose." He says in his best 'I am serious voice'. "We came here to protect her and I think that protecting her from herself falls into the same category. It's our fault she's apparently considering these crazy things."

He waits.

I glare at him. I loathe being manipulated and he knows it.

Perfectly at ease he rubs his stomach, purposefully dislodging his scandalously tight t-shirt and flashing his world class abs at me.

"I hate you." I growl.

"I know babe." He says easily, idly scratching at his midriff.

"It's wrong for us to get involved with a human's life." I object.

"Yes babe, I know." He lifts his t-shirt higher so he can scratch just under his left pectoral. "But we already are. We're here aren't we?"

"Will you stop doing that?" I howl.

"Give in." He responds.

"No!"

Laughing he rips his t-shirt from his body which glows in the moonlight.

"Give in babe." He chuckles. "You know I'm right."

"Sex is not a tool to gain dominance in a relationship." I lecture.

"You are absolutely right." He agrees. "And I'm not offering any. I'm just hot and need to cool off."

"Liar."

"One of my many faults."

"We should really leave her to get on with this on her own." I protest. "It's part of anyone's growth process."

"Of course."

"Why are you taking your pants off?"

"They chafe. Alice picked them."

"Why aren't you wearing any underpants?"

"I was a boy scout. Always be prepared and all that."

"I don't approve of any of this."

"Oh babe, enjoy now, feel guilty later."

"This conversation isn't over." I warn him as he stalks towards me, forcing me back into the trees.

He just laughs and fixes his dark eyes on mine.

"Start running babe." He orders.

After a night of _passionate_ negotiation, held within protective earshot of Chez Swan, Em returns to Port Angeles and I take my next shift to watch Bella.

I'm not convinced it's the right thing to do but we've agreed that the next time she shows signs of life threatening idiocy we will intervene.

Late morning she emerges into the rain and fires up the venerable old truck.

I follow her until she turns off the highway towards La Push.

Werewolves equal life threatening idiocy and so I leap ahead of her and hold up my hand.

Screaming in shock she stamps down on the brakes and the weighty old truck slides gently into my outstretched palm. God I wish Em could have seen that, it must have looked _awesome_!


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer: Stephanie Meyer owns all. **

**Rated M for ****several reasons. **

**Chpt 3 Unfamiliar Territory**

**RPOV**

"Rosalie." She gasps, her little face lighting up.

"You can cut the engine now." I drawl. "You're not going anywhere."

Obediently she does and the silence is deafening.

We face each other through the glass of the windshield. Glorious immortal and dowdy human.

Oh this was a great lack of plan.

"Don't move." I order.

She shrugs eloquently. Right, where could she go?

Fishing out my cell I call Em, speaking normally so that she hasn't a hope of hearing what I'm saying.

"I've done it." I whimper. "I've only gone and done it. I _need _you."

"I'm coming babe." He answers succinctly.

She's still smiling. I haven't seen her smile since we came back. It's nice, it has potential. Not that she looks happy, she just looks like the dentist has stopped drilling on a raw nerve.

Em's infallible instincts home in on me quickly which is just as well as the sight of one antique truck and two girls staring at each other in increasing discomfort is bound to draw some attention. And attention of the canine kind is not something we need right now.

To my intense relief the sight of my giant husband cheers her even more, this smile is almost genuine.

With barely a nod at me he pulls her out of the truck and crushes her against his chest.

I smile. Slightly. At least someone's happy with this unexpected turn of events.

"Emmett." She gasps. "Need. To. Breathe."

"Oh. Sorry Bells." He releases her, holding her at arm's length and studying her critically. "Forgot about your whole delicate humanness thing."

Doofus.

"Forgiven." She says with a small sigh.

Another truck turns off the highway, slowing down as the four smelly occupants regard us with naked hostility.

"Time to go." Em says easily, lifting Bella into the truck and sliding in behind the wheel to start the engine.

She's so pleased to see him she doesn't notice the sudden tension in the air.

All but forgotten I climb in beside them giving the wolves the benefit of my best ice maiden stare as Em turns us and heads back into town.

I'll give her credit. If it were me my mouth would be going a dime a dozen demanding answers to the many questions that must be in her head. But she sits quietly, and seemingly contently, between us as Em drives back to her house.

Without a word she unlocks the door and gestures us inside.

Politely we sit down on the couch as indicated and wait for her to speak.

"Are you, um, all back?"

"No." Em says gently.

Her eyes flick briefly to me and then fasten back on him.

"None of the others know we're here." He expands.

She looks down at her sneakered feet and shuffles them for a moment.

"Why?" She asks eventually in a strangled voice.

That's a big question and Em looks at me imploringly.

"I'll explain if you eat something." I offer.

She regards me curiously for a moment and then leads the way into the kitchen.

Don't ask me what the noxious substance she made is, I probably wouldn't have been able to identify it as a human.

Once we are all seated around the table she takes a bite and then looks at me questioningly while she chews.

"Edward." I begin noting with interest how she flinches at the mention of his name. "Is a dick."

She chokes for a moment and struggles to swallow the food in her mouth.

Em scowls at me. Dick is not an allowed word either.

To the accompaniment of the pounding Forks rain and Em's disapproval I explain Emo Ed's delusional thinking and the sorry tale of how we've all come to be sat here together on this grey day.

"He loves me?" She asks, seizing on the one thing I wish I hadn't mentioned.

I nod.

"Humph."

Quite.

"And Victoria is trying to kill me?"

I nod.

"Humph." She bites and chews another mouthful thoughtfully.

"And the two of you are the only ones who wanted to come back for me?"

"Not exactly." Em says defensively.

"But in actuality?" She presses.

I can't help but smile, straight to the point.

She looks at me consideringly for a moment.

"I think I need to lie down." She announces, abandoning her food and us to run upstairs.

"What do we do now?" Em hisses.

"Get out of here before she starts crying." I respond heading for the door.

"Shouldn't we comfort her or something?" He frets as we dart outside and hide ourselves in the trees.

We stare at each other unhappily as the sound of Bella's sobbing escalates.

"You should go and talk to her." He suggests carefully.

"About what?" I ask in genuine surprise. "How to fit a new can to her motorcycle?"

"No." He says patiently. "About why she's upset."

"You ask her."

"Babe, I'm a man, we don't talk about feelings and stuff."

"Em, I'm a Rosalie, I don't _have_ feelings and stuff."

"Babe . . . ." He stops, wincing as a particularly heart wrenching noise escapes Bella's bedroom.

"Alright, alright." I sigh. "It's my responsibility, I'll do it, but I don't have a book on how to train your over emotional human, if she jumps off a cliff afterwards don't blame me."

With a strange sense of trepidation I about face and stalk back into the house.

Her room isn't hard to find and inside she's flung face down on the bed sobbing her heart out into a rather noisome pillow.

I flit over and open the window in case Charlie returns unexpectedly and then settle down to wait.

After an hour or so her crying lessens and eventually she rolls over onto her back with a heavy sigh.

She screams.

I smile.

Her breathing hitches and her heart skips a couple of beats.

If I hadn't spent years perfecting the art of being frightening I would probably be a little offended.

"Why are you here?" She manages to ask when her breathing has evened out again.

"I thought you might like to talk about it."

"About what?" She asks in confusion.

Apparently neither of us is very good at this sort of thing. Immediately I feel less awkward about the whole exercise.

The silence stretches out.

"I could take a look at your new bikes if you'd like." I offer eventually.

"Um." She looks shifty for a moment and then back to confused.

"They won't run you know." I inform her.

"I don't know anything about motorcycles." She admits.

"They're a lot like cars."

"I don't know anything about cars either." She says with a small smile.

I shake my head in disgust.

"Okay." She says eventually. "I just need a human moment first."

"I'll wait downstairs."

Outside I find Em with his arms crossed over his chest having a staring contest with the four smelly individuals from earlier who are driving slowly by in their less than classic truck.

I stand next to him mirroring his posture and with snarls they speed away.

Em and I share a long look, hoping we don't need to ask them for help.

My cell vibrates and I snatch it out of my pocket.

"Hey bitch." A familiar voice greets me. "How's the vacation?"

"Hey brother, how's life under the thumb?"

He chuckles. "Bearable Blondie, bearable."

"Eaten anything good lately?"

"Ah now, don't you start darlin'." He sighs. "I'm feeling special enough already."

"Bad?"

"Oh yes."

I nearly invite him to join us but bite my tongue just in time. We're justifying all this on the basis of protecting Bella and Jasper Hale represents danger, on _so_ many levels.

"Too bad." I tell him. "Your lack of self-control is bound to get you into trouble from time to time."

"I knew there was a reason I called you." He chuckles again. "You're _so_ good at making me feel better."

"Hey, we're on _my_ time here Major Catastrophe, what do you want?"

"What are you _really_ doing?" He asks.

"What I want, of course." I respond, automatically tossing my hair back as if he can see me.

"Be careful Rosalie Hale." He says sternly, ending the call.

"Alice giving him a hard time?" Em asks.

"Sounds like it."

Bella emerges from the house and approaches us with a cautious smile for Em who just about manages to restrain himself from enveloping her in another massive hug.

Instead he jumps up and pulls the tarp back from the bikes. I hop up after him and offer her my hand, which she takes with a little swallow, and I haul her into the truck bed.

"Ouch." She mutters rubbing her hand and flexing her fingers.

Oops. Too hard. Oh well.

I hunker down and inspect the two fairly well trashed bikes. They are salvageable but _so_ not worth it.

"We'll need to go to Port Angeles for parts." I inform her.

"I've got the money."

I shrug, giving them another once over. One of them could potentially be a decent bike, we'll have to see how we go.

"Do you want to go tomorrow?"

She hesitates and then nods.

"Okay, I'll pick you up at ten."

She nods and Em picks her up and jumps down with her, placing her carefully on her feet while I re-hide the bikes. I'm guessing Charlie isn't a fan, hardly surprising in his line of work.

"I can't work on them here." She says looking up at me curiously.

"I have somewhere."

"Okay." She nods again and returns to the house, looking back once with naked curiosity on her face.

"Hunt?" Em asks, offering me his hand and helping me down.

"Yes please. She smells delicious."

He laughs and with one last look round we melt into the trees.

The following morning the three of us ride to Port Angeles in her truck with a shopping list of parts I prepared the night before.

They have everything we need and Em and I load the parts into the truck while Bella pays. I've always sympathised with her reaction to our attempts to spend money on her, coming from a similarly frugal background myself. If she wants to pay then that's her prerogative.

When Em turns into the driveway of our old house she tenses up, her pulse hammering.

"It's just an empty house." I point out.

She looks at me, those enormous brown eyes filled with an emotion I'm not equipped to identify.

"We'll only go in the garage." I find myself promising. "It's the perfect place to work on the bikes and I already have all the tools we'll need."

She lets out a long breath and Em and I exchange shrugs.

I leap out to open the garage door while Em unloads the bikes.

Depositing them on the floor he flits off to switch on the power, we don't need the lights but she will.

Turning I find her blinking stupidly and gazing around the walls as if she expects something to jump out and bite her. No chance, Jazz is in Alaska.

Em returns and Motorcycle Repair 101 begins.

We work for several hours me working on one bike and Bella on the other, following my instructions, before her stomach starts making empty noises and Em heads off to get something for her lunch.

"He told me he didn't love me." She says suddenly without looking up from her work.

"Lying prick." I mutter under my breath.

"That I wasn't enough to hold him from his _distractions_."

"You _were_ his distraction." I respond, annoyance evident in my tone. "From the moment he met you he couldn't think about anything else."

"Why would he lie?" She asks, studiously unscrewing the sump the way I showed her.

"I make it my mission in life not to understand why anyone else does anything if I can help it." I reply in a bored and disdainful voice.

A long pause, during which I fight down the urge to smile.

"Why would he lie?" She asks again, catching the oil as it drains out.

Interesting. Clever girl to see through my first line of defence.

"I would imagine he thought it would be impossible to leave if you knew he still loved you. You would have been able to reason him out of it."

"Will he come back?" Her voice is expressionless but I sense the hope behind her question. Which irritates me enormously.

"I don't know."

"Will you pass me the rag please?" She asks.

I hand it over and we return to our tasks silently until Em interrupts with a bag full of foul smelling food.


	5. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer: Stephanie Meyer owns all. **

**Rated M for ****several reasons. **

**Chpt 4 Falling**

**RPOV**

Over the next few weeks we manage to spend several hours, weekends and evenings, stripping down the bikes and putting them back together again. At some point I will get around to asking her why.

I can't say she's become a normal teenager because frankly I don't think she ever was, but she's eating and smiling again. She's still far quieter than I would expect but a sense of humour I didn't know she had is asserting itself and Em has actually managed to get her to squeal with laughter, once.

Which is all very nice.

However, Em and I have now run out of excuses not to go home and Nosey is becoming suspicious. We still haven't told Jazz what we're doing but he's helping us out by distracting her as much as possible. He says making and unmaking a decision to visit his brother and sister is always guaranteed to get her gift in a tail spin. I can understand why, while they predate trailer trash by several decades they could certainly have been a template. Nevertheless I _am_ quite partial to his brother, Peter is as brutally honest as I am albeit in a far baser way. Nosey hates him, or rather his scuffed boots and defiantly battered cowboy hat. Her reaction to his wife Charlotte is even more entertaining. Alice considers her the lowest of the low, which is hilarious considering Jazz told me Char's human family was as rich Croesus and her unexplained disappearance is still written about to this day. I _love_ it when they visit, not that anyone but Em would ever know. Its absolute _carnage_.

We can't go back. Victoria has disappeared and since it is unlikely she's been eaten by a crocodile this is a serious problem, as per my previously stated desire not to be following Bella around for ever like a crummy movie bodyguard.

Edward is also still missing in action. His mopey but infrequent phone calls torturing Esme to the point that Carlisle has started calling and asking us to come home.

Em's torn. I'm just pissed off and the only time I stop worrying is when I'm working in the garage with Bella.

She's actually quite mechanically adept and I've been able to show her some stuff she can do to maintain her own truck. I love her truck. It's, old, it's slow and it's constantly on the brink of final death but it has bucket loads of personality.

We've avoided any kind of personal conversation since that first day but I can feel one brewing, like storm clouds on the horizon, we both have things we want to say.

She's at school at the moment and Em and I are having some alone time in our old bedroom.

"We're in trouble." He says eventually.

I nod gently into his chest. Yep. It seemed like such a simple idea. Make sure she's okay, protect her from the redhead, by removing said vampire from the equation, make sure that Emo Ed doesn't sneak back and renege on his promise. Not that I shared that last bit with Em, somehow I don't think he would approve of that as a motivation.

"I'll say this once." He says in the tone of voice reserved for broaching subjects he knows will provoke an unpleasant response. "The rest of the family would be able to help us hunt down Victoria and end this. Edward loves her and should be here with her, he would be if he knew the redhead was after her. And it seems to me Bells wants him to be here. So explain to me, one last time, why we're not calling home and rousing the cavalry."

Ah. He has a point and I have a suspicion he knows what my answer will be. Now I can either find something random to start a fight over or I can own up. If it were anyone else but Em I would go for the former, without even thinking about it.

His body shifts beneath mine.

If he laughs, its fight.

After a minute he takes a deep breath and relaxes again.

I sigh wistfully, oh well, better own up then.

"Because if they come, he'll be five minutes behind them. And if he comes back he won't ever leave her again."

"Would that be so bad, if they love each other?"

"How could it be good?" I growl. "First off, you know how I feel about her being a vampire. It's not natural and it's not right and she's certainly far too immature to make a decision like that. For god's sake Em they haven't even known each other for five minutes, she's got no idea what a jerk he is."

I'm working up a good head of steam now and even Em's gentle strokes on my arm are doing nothing.

"And so what's the alternative? The one we both know Ed will go for? Leave her human. Brilliant. Genius. Let's not even talk about the fact that every moment she lives we're in danger from The Volturi, because that would be selfish wouldn't it. So let's just ignore that.

Let's focus on what her life will be like with Edward while she grows old, gets sick and dies. She'll never be able to have friends because we can't risk anyone else finding out. She'll barely be able to see her family for the same reason, they might get old and infirm but I'm pretty sure they're both capable of noticing that her boyfriend and his family aren't aging.

She'll have to move with us every few years. After a couple of years we'll be pretending she's our mother and eventually our grandmother.

She'll never have children Em."

He wraps his arms around me tightly and buries his lips in my hair.

"I know they aren't the be all and end all of a person's existence." I continue after a moment. "But she'll never have a choice. And knowing Emo Ed she'll never have sex either."

Em shudders beneath me.

"If he really loves her babe he'll get over himself and change her eventually." He says quietly.

"And do you think that's best for her?" I snap. "I'm not talking about the being a vampire thing, at some point I suppose she can make her own informed decision on it. I mean him, we know him Em, do you really think he's capable of making her happy for eternity?"

"Babe, I don't have the same kind of problem with Repressedwood that you do, he's basically a good kid."

"Exactly."

"Huh?"

"He's a kid Em, a hundred year old kid. He thinks like one and he acts like one and he isn't ever going to change. And that will all be lovely if she doesn't. But what if she does?"

"Messy divorce I guess." He says with a chuckle.

I punch him in the kidneys.

"Ouch, jesus Rose, not the kidneys. We've talked about this before."

"Sorry." I mutter, planting a kiss on the offended body part.

"Rose." He says eventually, in that voice again. "Why do you care?"

"I don't."

"So we'll just call Carlisle and let the grownups sort it out will we?"

"No."

"I'm sorry, I didn't hear you."

"No."

"Babe, I'm an old man, you'll have to speak up a little."

"NO!" I scream into his ear.

"Why not?" He asks gently.

"Because I want her to have a chance at a normal, happy, human life. Because I want her to grow up a bit before she has to decide whether or not to throw her lot in with him, with us. Because that's fair and that's right and for the time being at least I know better than she does."

Don't say it. Don't say it. Don't say it.

He doesn't.

Thank god.

We can hear her truck coming so we untangle ourselves from the bed and get ready to greet her.

"We still haven't resolved the problem of how long we can stay here." He observes.

"No. I don't know what to do." I admit.

"Something will come up." He says easily. "It usually does."

His relaxed approach to life often irritates me but this time I find myself hoping that he's right. Because I've got nothing.

We spend the next couple of hours working on the bikes. Em and Bella are talking idly about different things, music, the kids at school and college, the pros and cons thereof. I tend to stay out of the conversation, it's not my forte, but I have a strong preference for her going to college, ideally one in a place with long hours of bright sunlight. Maybe there's even one that will accept her today and let her start tomorrow . . . .

My cell rings. Carlisle.

"Hi." I answer, unsure whether to have this conversation in front of Bella but generally opposed to sneaking about.

"Hi Rose." He responds. "Can you talk?"

"Sure."

"I know you two kids are having fun down there in Nevada but your mother and I need your help."

"O-kay. I suppose that would be alright."

He laughs, accepting me for what I am despite his constant efforts to turn me into a better person.

"We haven't heard from Edward in a while, his cell has probably died or something and he's still very upset."

"Humph."

"The last time I spoke to him he was heading down to South America, to Rio."

"What on earth for?"

"I don't know, he didn't bother to explain. Anyway, poor Jasper needs to get out of the house so he and Alice are going to go down and see if they can find him. Your mother and I were wondering if you and Em would mind taking a trip up to Forks to see if he's there?"

"Forks." I snort.

Bella's head snaps up and I curse the habit we've all developed of talking at human speed.

"Why the fuck would Em and I want to go back to Forks?"

"Don't swear." Carlisle and Em admonish together.

Great, freaking stereo.

"Please Rosalie, think of it as a little side trip in your vacation. Just pop up there and see if Edward has been there."

I am silent, making him sweat.

"Alright." I agree ungraciously. "We'll go. But you owe me a new car. I hate Forks."

"Of course." He chuckles. "And thank you. I know I don't need to remind _you_ but would you please make sure Em remembers that we promised Edward we wouldn't interfere in Bella's life?"

"I'll remind him but it might not do any good, he's as mentally incompetent around that human as the rest of you."

"I trust you to keep him in line Rosalie."

"Humph."

"What are you doing anyway? You sound like you're in a garage."

"We are." I laugh. "There's an awesome custom shop here and they teaching us how do some of the artwork."

"Well enjoy it then." He says. "Call me when you get to Forks?"

"Okay." I sigh.

"Excellent, give my love to Em."

"Will do."

I close my phone and smile at Em, who winks back. I'll never hear the last of this but something did indeed come up.

"What's happening?" Bella asks, blighting my happy moment.

"I'm going to get something for Bella's dinner, back in a few." My stupid husband announces, trotting off into the night.

"Edward's not checked in for a couple of weeks, the olds are worried about him."

"He's not in trouble is he?"

"He's a vampire Bella, what sort of trouble could he possibly be in?" Ah, my friend sarcasm.

She flushes and opens her mouth but doesn't speak.

I raise my eyebrow.

She closes her mouth again but narrows her eyes at me.

"Anyway." I continue easily. "Carlisle wanted Em and I to check whether or not he'd been here so it works out perfectly."

"You can't hang around babysitting me forever." She points out. "Victoria's gone, maybe she won't come back."

"I can't risk it." I answer turning back to the part I'm cleaning.

"You don't even like me." She says.

"I never said I didn't like you." I huff.

"You didn't need to." She chuckles.

"Humph."

"What will happen if you tell Carlisle you're here and that Victoria's after me?" She asks in a small voice.

It turn to look at her.

"You think they won't come?" I ask in amazement.

"They did leave me in the first place." She points out holding my gaze.

Well fuck me. That's why she's been so upset. It wasn't just Edward who left her it was all of us. Carlisle and Esme, who treated her like a daughter. Em who treated her like a little sister and Alice who was her best friend. We all just upped sticks and walked away from her without even saying goodbye. That must sting like a bitch.

Without thinking about it I dart across the garage and hunker down in front of her.

"They would be here before you could blink Bella, if they knew you were in danger."

She flinches at my sudden close proximity.

"Then why don't you tell them?" She asks when she's over the shock. "I know you said you were only going to watch me because you agreed with Ed-Edward that you shouldn't interfere in my life but you did, you have. So why don't you just call them, hand over the responsibility and get on with your own life?"

With a vicious sigh I sit down properly. I cannot believe that I'm going to have a conversation like this twice in the space of one day. I go to ridiculous lengths to avoid this shit normally.

"Because he will come back, that's why." I begin.


	6. Chapter 6

**Disclaimer: Stephanie Meyer owns all. **

**Rated M for ****several reasons. **

**Chpt 5 A Spoke in the Wheel**

**RPOV**

As soon as her truck rounds the bend in the drive I slump to the floor. Emotionally exhausted. I am _so_ not equipped to deal with any of this.

Em disappears briefly and I can hear the tub filling in our old room.

When he returns he scoops me up and carries me upstairs, stripping me and settling me in the hot water. In silence he washes my hair. I never usually let anyone touch my crowning glory but the feel of his fingers massaging my scalp is so soothing I'm soon purring like a big cat and relaxing back with my eyes closed.

She took it well, I think, it's hard to tell but she didn't cry or scream or turn back in Bella Zombie. And maybe, just maybe she'll think about what I said.

I'm not an expert on humans but as I see it she'll do one of three things.

One. She'll try to get her hands on my cell and ring Carlisle. She'll have a number of reasons for trying it, some of them from a misplaced desire to let Em and I off the hook, but mainly because Emo Ed will come back.

Two. She'll attempt another runner like she did in Phoenix when she gave Major Oblivious the slip, I snort, some warrior he must have been back in the day. She'll do it because it lets everyone off the hook and draws the danger away from Charlie. I hope she doesn't, it would just confirm my theory on natural selection and Bella Swans.

Three. She won't do anything, she'll take what I've said on board and wait and see what happens. I like this one, it would show common sense and a small sign of emerging maturity.

A new sensation disturbs my musings.

"Em." I purr. "That part of me is not dirty and does not require washing."

"I beg to differ Rose." He growls quietly. "I find this part of you to be very dirty and in constant need of attention."

"Oh!" With a startled gasp I slip down under the water.

**BPOV**

My head is going to explode.

With an annoyed sigh I punch the pillow one last time then get up and tip toe downstairs so I don't wake Charlie.

I curl up on the couch with a blanket while I watch the ghostly trees move and sway in the moonlight trying to think.

The trouble is I don't really know where to start.

I don't want to think about _him_. All this new information hasn't exactly filled the hole his absence has punched through my chest, more thrown a sort of curtain wall over it.

I should be thinking about college and the future but I can't see it somehow, there's a massive blockage in the way.

Of course with a vampire trying to kill me I might not have a future so I guess I'll start there. My continued existence at this point is apparently down to the presence of werewolves and the unfathomable mind of Rosalie Hale.

I realise that a normal person would still be getting over the shock of discovering that werewolves actually exist. But with the whole vampire thing I'm past that point, there's probably a troll living under Charlie's old boat as well.

If Victoria is after me then Charlie is in danger too. We saved him last time by running and the vampire came after us. Should I do that again? Pack my stuff and take the danger away with me. It would let Rosalie and Em off the hook too if I just upped and disappeared. Everyone really, their lives would all go back to normal, even Charlie who survived for years without me anyway. Of course she might catch me and kill me eventually, Em certainly thinks that she won't give up despite her current absence.

That would be the noble and selfless thing to do.

I'm not keen to be honest. I don't want to die, at least not like that. And Em seems confident that as long as they're here and the wolves are here she won't get near me or Charlie. So I'm protected, sort of.

But I'm a burden, forcing Em and Rosalie to stay here until something happens to relieve them of their self-imposed responsibility.

Which brings me to the 'opportunity' in this situation.

If the Cullens really would come back then Em and Rose wouldn't be on their own, the Victoria situation might come to a head quicker and he might come back with them.

And if he really does love me I might be able to persuade him to stay, or at least take me with him when he leaves again.

My stomach lurches and I feel suddenly sick. Hope? Fear? Or Rosalie?

Might it be true, could he really love me, could there be a way for this nightmare to be over and for me to have a happy ending?

What if it isn't and Rosalie and Em are trying to soften the blow. Perhaps the others, and _he_, really don't care and if I asked them to come, I would get laughed at, cut dead, the painful truth.

But the biggest issue is the last one, Rosalie. She came back, out of a sense of responsibility I didn't know she had, when she clearly would rather have gnawed off her own foot. And the things she told me, what she thinks, as much as I would like to I can't ignore them, they nag at me and demand my attention. They poke searing holes in what I imagined my world, real and longed for, to be.

With a heavy sigh I realise I need to start here.

I can understand her point of view on me becoming a vampire. I wouldn't have done before Ed-Edward left but I do now. It's not the same as getting married too young like my parents, its considerably more permanent. I don't get the children thing, well I do, just not in my case because it's never once occurred to me to have kids of my own. Not least because in my experience relationships don't last forever and if I'm honest I _have_ missed my parents not being together. Of course she had me there, on relationships not being forever, the sarcasm she used to point it out was completely unnecessary. Bitch.

Yes, I'm very brave in my head and can admit what she is.

And I can't argue with her. I don't know him very well, not really. Or rather, perhaps I do, in some respects. Haven't I always been afraid that I'm not good enough for him and that when he realised it he would leave me. Which he did, although apparently he was lying and actually left to protect me, which he was always threatening to do anyway.

Argh. No wonder my head feels like it's going to explode.

So he loves me and he left for my own good. Okay. That sucks but it's a reasonably noble rationale, a sign of just how special he really is. He hurt me in the process, he must have known he would because I never made any secret of how I feel about him, but how hard must that have been for him to do if he loves me as much as Rosalie says he does. It must have been excruciating, I couldn't have done it. Poor Edward.

Alright, so, supposing he comes back and doesn't leave again.

Rosalie is sure he won't turn me and I have no reason to disbelieve her. He's always been adamant that he doesn't want me to be a vampire, to lose my soul. I'm not religious and I guess I probably only have a hazy idea what a soul might really be but its loss doesn't sound like much when offered in exchange for an eternity with him.

She didn't need to go into such horrifying detail on what it would mean to live out my short human life with Edward at my side. I am way ahead of her on that one and have been ever since I turned eighteen, a year older than him.

Typical Bella, only I could get aging neurosis at eighteen.

The next part of that conversation was embarrassing and I'm _so_ glad Em wasn't there. Sex. Rosalie was pretty sure that if I stay human Edward will never have sex with me. Now I'm a virgin, not for any strict moral reasons, just because. But I don't want to be one forever, that would be, well that would just suck. Whenever he was around my desire to jump his never aging bones was always pretty strong, I love him and he's absolutely gorgeous so obviously I'm completely healthy in that respect.

Nevertheless, getting killed in order to get some is pretty extreme. Thanks for that phrase Rosalie, it's going to haunt me forever.

How I managed to pluck up the nerve to ask her if it was physically possible for a human and a vampire to be _intimate_ I will never know.

Her answer throws me down another twisty path.

Oh yes, she said casually, it happens all the time, even I've done it.

Now there's a mental image I really don't need. Stone cold Rosalie in a passionate embrace with some poor human man. At least I assume it was a man, she didn't elaborate.

But there is hope there. Even if he won't change me and I'll be working on that, he could eventually be confident enough to touch me properly, make love to me, without breaking me. Unless of course he doesn't want to. Damn Rosalie and her honesty.

I get that he's from a different time, that women and sex were thought about differently then. I like the idea of such gentlemanly behaviour, even if not the reality of how a woman who had sex out of wedlock was judged and treated.

Rosalie's cruel but compelling analysis of his character flaws has made quite an impression on me and has rung a couple of warning bells. She does know him better than I do.

She thinks, and apparently Esme does too, that Edward is forever stuck at seventeen. Incapable of maturing, incapable of having a proper, meaningful, _balanced_ relationship with a woman. And while Esme thinks I'll be good for him and he'll change Rosalie doesn't, she thinks I'll outgrow him. Not sure if that's a compliment or not, it's certainly something to think about.

Do I really want to die for him? I should. Love, romance, all that stuff. But. What about me, where does what I want figure in all this?

Oh hah de hah. Like I know what I want at this point. A pox on Rosalie Hale _and_ Edward Cullen.

And so I have choices.

Steal Rosalie's cell and call the Cullens, risking final rejection to get Edward back. And whatever comes after that.

Or, don't, remain passive, suck it up and see what happens.

Or, or, run away. From all of it.


	7. Chapter 7

**Disclaimer: Stephanie Meyer owns all. **

**Rated M for ****several reasons. **

**Chpt 6 Help Wanted**

**RPOV**

Our fictional trip to Forks turned out to be a waste of time. Ed's called in and eased everyone's anxiety. Apparently he 'tracked' Victoria to Rio, which explains why she disappeared but, being the useless dick he is, he lost her. At least it meant that Alice and Jazz could hook up with him and the three of them are currently having a vacation of their own. Esme's as happy as she can be with her 'children' away which means that Carlisle is off our case.

I find life has settled down into a strange but enjoyable routine.

As soon as the motorcycles were done she was forced to tell me why and once again I had to wonder if she's actually fit to survive from an evolutionary point of view. She saw Emo Ed whenever she felt the thrill of danger? How fucked up is that, although I can understand why she'd associate him most strongly with an even vaguely alarming situation, he would have cocooned her in bubble wrap and locked her in her room if he thought Charlie would have sanctioned it. Prick.

Apparently we're passed that crisis but I still taught her to ride the bikes, she needs to _live_. Although naturally we did get her a crash helmet and all the gear, she _is_ accident prone. After a shaky start she turned out to be quite a rider, fearless but with an innate ability to realise when something is beyond her current level of expertise. In fact she's now a bit of a closet stunt biker.

Of course we have been to the emergency room at least once but that was an accident that could have happened to anybody. I will admit to myself that it scared me to see her fragile little body flying through the air like a badly thrown shoe, she's got the tuck and roll thing down pat though, had a lot of practise I guess.

She's gained all her weight back and is even spending some time with her friends from school, shopping, movies, the usual stuff. That Newton kid is always hanging around her like a fly on a sugar cube. Persistent is how I would describe it, begging for a pasting is how Em puts it. He's so protective of her it's almost funny, a proper big brother and just what she needs. She blooms under his attention like an exotic flower.

Me she'd probably like to stake, if it were physically possible.

I could have passed out from happiness when I picked her up the other day and found her sat at the kitchen table filling out college applications. They may have all been banal affordable ones but the significance wasn't lost on me, she's at least thinking about a future that doesn't include perma death or Emo Ed.

We didn't discuss it of course, we aren't exactly friends. I don't want to be her friend, I want to help her grow up before Emo Ed comes back.

Which leads me onto my other problem. Keeping her alive.

There's something going on in Seattle. A serial killer is how the press are describing it. To Em and I it's got irresponsible vampire written all over it.

It probably hasn't got anything to do with us but it's alarmingly close to home. The Olympic Peninsula sort of belongs to us Cullens, it's our territory. Other vampires, like James and his coven, do come here but they don't stay and usually behave when they do. It's a sort of unwritten vampire law, we're all entitled to keep our own hunting grounds and the fact that _we_ don't eat humans is neither here nor there.

The written vampire law is about not revealing our existence to humans. Whoever is on a killing spree in Seattle is in serious danger of breaking that rule and bringing The Volturi, the closest thing we have to rulers, down on their heads. To which my response is, serves them right. However, we really don't need The Volturi poking around the area while we've got Bella in tow. I'm too beautiful to die and anything happening to Em is simply not an option.

The only solution Em and I can come up with is to go to Seattle and sort out the trouble makers before they attract attention of the wrong sort.

But there are only two of us. Military genius I am not, but the problems are obvious. We can't both go to Seattle and leave Bella unprotected. Neither one of us will permit the other to go alone, it's too dangerous. Taking her with us is pointless, we might as well drain her ourselves. Em didn't find that conclusion funny but at least it was honest.

For the first time it dawned on me that turning her would actually solve a number of issues. Reluctantly I decide that as those are all my problems and not hers, it isn't an option.

And so we're having a rather pathetic little war council while Bella's at school.

"We need help." Em decides.

No shit, I snarl in my head, managing to restrain myself to just an eye roll on the outside.

"Carlisle?" He suggests.

"No. I haven't changed my mind. I realise Ed will probably come back eventually but I want her to have as much time as possible before he does."

He growls but doesn't re-state his own position, which is that whatever happens between the two of them is none of our business.

"Jazz?"

"He's got the knowledge and the skills but he'll never get away from Alice long enough to do anything. Besides you can never tell with him, he might just rat us out straight away if he thinks we're being stupid and putting ourselves in danger."

"Agreed. The Major would be ideal but it's too risky."

"I also don't want him anywhere near Bella."

"Babe I don't think he'll try to eat her again, he's not completely useless."

"It's the other impulses he has trouble controlling that bother me Em."

"He's never shown any interest in her that way." He points out.

"I'm not risking it."

"You know you're starting to sound like her mother, don't you?" He says slyly.

I flip him the finger and for once don't get a scolding in return, he knows he's pushing his luck with that comment.

We lapse into silence for a while.

"Denalis?" He offers with a knowing smirk.

"Over my finally dead body is Tanya coming anywhere near you!" I practically scream. Our cousins are fun but Tanya's 'if it moves, fuck it' attitude to other people's men is going to get her a free mastectomy one day. "Besides, they'd tell Carlisle."

"What about Peter?" Em suggests eventually.

"Do you think he would help us?"

"I don't know Babe, wouldn't hurt to ask and you know you can trust him not to tell any of the others. Interfering behind their backs will give him a hard on that'll last for decades."

He's right. Pete would help if for no other reason than to annoy Alice and he's not massively fond of Ed either. In fact he'll happily yank anyone's chain. And he and Char have the skills, Jazz is their sire and they had the same violent start in this life he did.

Okay. Pete it is.

"Shall I call him now or wait till we've had a chance to discuss it with Bella?" I ask him.

"She knows all about the situation in Seattle babe and at the moment she's all for coming with us. As if." He snorts indulgently. "Call him and if he agrees to come we can talk to her about it then."

I nod and dart out to the car for my cell. I've been leaving it casually lying around just in case she really did want to call Carlisle. Yeah, I don't know where that shit came from either, I might have to beg Dr Jazz for a session on his shrink's couch when all this is over.

Back inside I settle myself onto Em's lap and place the call.

"Afternoon Bitchpire." He drawls in the soft quiet voice that totally belies his personality. "To what do I owe this pleasure?"

"I have a problem."

"Well darlin' I always told ya that man of yours wouldn't be able to satisfy you forever but it ain't a problem I can help you with. Char would have they boys if I even thought about it."

"Not that sort of problem, you pervert." I snicker. Yeah, he makes me laugh too.

"Oh, well in that case I'm sorry darlin'." He chuckles. "What else can Peter Perfect help ya with?"

I fill him in and wait impatiently while he kills himself with laughter and relays everything to an equally hysterical Char.

"Well Ms Hale." He says eventually. "That was so entertainin' I hardly know where to start."

I growl and he laughs some more.

"I knew the boy had a human, J told me, said she was a tasty little morsel too."

I raise my eyebrow meaningfully at Em. Told you so. Major Impulse Control is not to be trusted.

"So, you're trying to protect her from a vampire bent on avenging her mate and a fate worse than death in the arms of the Boy Wonder?"

"Yes." I snap, fed up with being a source of amusement already.

"That's awfully deep for a vampire so shallow." He points out.

"Fuck you Whitlock." I snarl, eyes daring Em to chastise me. "Are you going to help me or not?"

"Well now, I think I might. I was just tellin' my darlin' wife how bored I am here in Montana and how much I wished my brother's brady bunch family would provide me with some sorely needed entertainment."

"Did you know I was going to call you?" I ask suspiciously. Pete's gift isn't quite like Alice's but Jazz says he often gets 'feelings' about things that are going to happen.

"Now darlin', _know_ is a dirty word in my book. I was just idly wishin' that somethin' interestin' would happen and now it has."

"Thank you." I murmur in relief.

He laughs.

"Did them words burn on the way out darlin'?"

"You have _no_ idea." I growl.

"We'll see you day after tomorrow." He chuckles. "At the house?"

"Yes."

"Bye then Bitchpire."

"He's coming?" Em asks unnecessarily.

"Yes."

"And there's no Jazz to protect you?"

"No."

"This is going to be good." He laughs.

I glare at him.

"Aren't you supposed to protect me?"

"Against Peter?" He chuckles. "No. You're on your own with that one and more than capable, if I might add. I'm just going to enjoy the show."

"Humph."

I ponder something else that's been nagging me for a while.

"Don't you think it's strange that Alice hasn't seen what we're up to yet?" I ask him.

"Yeah babe but I never look a gift horse in the mouth."

"Humph."

Bella takes the news well. In fact she seems fascinated by the idea of meeting new vampires and even their differences and cuisine choices don't seem to faze her.

I'm also fascinated, Pete and Char Whitlock are a very different kind of anything than' she's been exposed to before. I should probably be making plans to keep them apart as much as possible but I'm not going to, there's more to life than brady bunch families as Pete calls us.

It won't do any harm for her to find out, who knows, she might be more Whitlock than Cullen.


	8. Chapter 8

**Disclaimer: Stephanie Meyer owns all. **

**Rated M for ****several reasons. **

**Chpt 7 Little Rose Thorn**

**BPOV**

Mortal terror is a strange thing. You get used to it after a while and it sort of fades into the background.

I should be freaked out that the situation is apparently so serious two together people like Rosalie and Em are calling in re-enforcements. But I'm not. Fatalistic, that's me.

I should also be disappointed that the re-enforcements they're calling in aren't the Cullens but on that score I find myself strangely relieved. Apparently, despite how much I'm missing him, I'm not ready to face up to all that yet.

Thank god it's Friday, Mike Newton is driving me nuts.

I can pull out my own chair, pick my own lunch and find my way to the restrooms and back without a pimply escort. Jeez.

"So Bella." He says loudly as we all settle around the lunch table. "Do you want to go and see Face Punch tomorrow night?"

Now I can be nice and let him down gently with a squishy lie, only to have him try again another time, which is what usually happens. Or I can channel my inner Rosalie and get rid of his cloying presence once and for all. In front of all these avid witnesses.

I don't want to hurt his feelings but once and for all is looking quite attractive right now as I watch his shiny little face, alive with baseless hope.

As if. He's nice enough but I've been out with a vampire, a perfected being designed to be fatally attractive to his prey, me. And Mike, well, there's just no comparison is there? Dimly I'm aware that this attitude is going to seriously crimp my dating opportunities over time but it is what it is. He does nothing for me at all, either on a physical or intellectual level.

"No thanks Mike." I answer when the silence has become uncomfortable.

There, not a vitriolic rejection but a clear no, with a hint of disinterest.

"Are you sure Bella?" He asks. "We could get something to eat afterwards."

"Yes Mike, I'm sure."

"Really? Because its supposed to be a really good film and you're not getting out much at the moment."

There are snickers around the table. Is he implying that nobody else would ask me? Because being right does not entitle him to say so.

"Mike. I already have something planned tomorrow night. And even if I didn't I wouldn't want to go and see a movie with you. You're a good friend but the connotations of _date_ are more than I'm up for."

"I wasn't asking you on a _date_." He huffs as the table breaks out in laughter. "I was just trying to be friendly because you haven't gotten out much since the Cullens left."

"I get out plenty Mike." I inform him easily. "But thank you for your concern."

"With who?" He asks nastily.

Ouch. That was mean.

"What are you? My father?" I drawl in the best imitation of Rosalie I can manage, fixing him with an icy glare.

"I, um . . . ." He looks extremely uncomfortable right now.

"Yeah." I force out a short laugh. "You, um."

This bitch stuff could be fun, much better than withering in silent embarrassment.

With a huge, fake, smile I stand and deposit my leftovers in the trash.

Rosalie Hale you have a lot to answer for.

Out in the corridor I blush to my deepest red. I can't believe I just did that _and_ got away with it!

By the time the final bell rings and I'm facing a long walk home, the truck's taking a break today, my bravado has worn off. Everyone is staring at me, more in awe than pity for once, but nevertheless I can do without the attention and poor Mike hasn't been able to look me in the eye all afternoon.

As I stomp outside I am greeted by a welcome sight.

Dwarfing my little motorcycle is Em. Identity hidden in a black helmet and some scandalously tight leathers which show off all the advantages vampirism has enhanced in him.

Fighting back a triumphant smirk I stroll over and settle myself on the back of the bike, wrapping my arms tightly around his waist and resting my head between his shoulder blades. Which shake with silent laughter as we roar around the corner before screeching to a halt.

"Helmet!" He orders, producing mine and shoving it onto my head. "You're a legend in your own lunchtime Bells."

"Do you listen in to everything I do?" I ask, slightly disturbed by the idea.

"No. But Rosalie was so proud she nearly had a kitten. Getting picked up by mysterious, sexy, biker man is your reward. Hold on tight because Peter and Char are here and I'm under strict instructions to get you up to the house as quickly as possible."

We scream through the town at a speed which would have terrified me a few weeks ago but now has me squealing in delight.

Pete is tall and blonde and reminds me eerily of Jasper, but smaller. Char is like a miniature playboy model, tiny but perfectly formed. Their eyes are a deep dark red, almost hypnotic.

Immediately feeling inferior and ashamed of my curiosity I flush and study my frantically wriggling toes as if I can see through my sneakers.

"So you're the cause of all this trouble?" Pete observes, his voice surprisingly soft and gentle.

"Um, yes, I suppose so."

"Oh there's no supposin' little girl." He chuckles. "I can tell you're a magnet for trouble."

Helplessly I look to Rosalie for assistance.

She just smirks. So that's the way it's going to be.

"So." Pete says rubbing his hands together. "Now we're all here what say we get this freak show on the road?"

Em takes pity on me and guides me to his side, settling us down in one of the Cullen's ludicrously over stuffed couches. Rosalie sits cross legged on the floor in front of us and Pete and Char sprawl out on the opposite couch.

"I'm assumin' you haven't involved J in this because you don't want the rest of the brady bunch to know?" Pete asks.

"Who's J?" I whisper to Em.

"Jasper, Jazz." He whispers back as Rosalie answers Pete's question.

"Why would Jasper be able to help us?" I murmur back.

"Bells, Jasper's one tough vampire, fighting newborns is the kind of thing he'd do with one hand while knitting a blanket with the other."

"Jasper?" I snort. "I thought his skills were largely based around reading books, wearing the clothes Alice buys him and trying to take a bite out of me?"

"Not exactly." He says cryptically before turning his attention to the conversation going on around us.

"Do you think it's newborns?" Char is asking.

"I don't know." Rosalie replies. "But whoever it is, is a messy eater."

I shudder. Rosalie's told me about newborn vampires, the way they behave and the trouble they cause. It's one of the things that's made me ponder on my previous desire to be one, because that's a state of being I don't think I want to experience.

"Could it be the redhead you told me about?" Pete asks.

"I don't know." Rosalie says again. "But it would be quite devious if it is. Luring us to Seattle so she can get to Bella."

"What about the doggies?" Pete continues.

My ears prick up, some of these werewolves are probably people I vaguely know, and that fascinates me.

"Hostile." Rosalie answers succinctly. "But as long as we don't cross over into their territory they won't attack us."

"Not bein' able to use all the land is a disadvantage." Pete muses. "We should at least talk to 'em. If their raison d'etre is to protect human life as they say then they may be willin' to help us."

He turns his dark red eyes on me.

"Could you talk to them little one?"

"I don't know them." I stammer. "I mean I know some of the tribe, my Dad is friends with them but I don't know an actual wolf, um, werewolf, at least I don't think I do . . . ."

"Anyone will do for an initial approach." He assures me.

"Then I could talk to Billy Black or Harry Clearwater I suppose."

Pete produces a cell at vampire speed and offers it to me.

"I don't know the number." I admit.

He laughs.

"Sorry little one, the weaknesses of a human brain are a distant memory to me."

"She can call them later when Em takes her home." Rosalie decides. "Then what?"

"Either way someone needs to go to Seattle to scope out the problem." Pete responds.

"I'll go." Char offers in her sex kitten voice.

Horrified I sit up ready to protest.

"Easy little one." Pete pre-empts me. "Char's a good scout, she'll be perfectly okay. Look but not touch."

Char nods, smiling reassuringly.

"I don't like any of this." I complain.

"Ah now darlin', she won't be going on her own, Em's name is in the frame too." Pete drawls. "Besides the wife and I are not normal vampires by any stretch of the imagination. Whoever this Victoria is she won't be a problem for us. Nor will any naughty vampires makin' a nuisance of 'emselves in Seattle. We're like the A Team."

"Even I know that's crap." I mutter. "Nobody ever gets shot."

"Well little one, no one's gonna be shootin' us with any degree of success. Ya need to have a little faith. Besides we're already dead so what does it matter?"

"I'm sorry." I huff. "But if you're walking around talking to me you're not dead. Which means something nasty can still happen to you. I saw what the Cullens did to James, _he's_ dead. I'm not worth it."

"Ah now little darlin'." Pete drawls, looking me over with interest. "You let me be the judge of that for the time being. Bitchpire and EmmyBear here think you're worth it. J thinks you're worth it. You really don't need no other recommendation at this point."

I open and close my mouth uselessly. Cue vampires laughing and classic burning red face.

So it's decided. Char and Em are going to Seattle. Pete and Rosalie are going dancing with wolves and I get to go back to school on Monday.

Great.

When I start yawning Em takes me home, dropping me off around the corner so Charlie doesn't hear the bike.

I find him sat in the living room with Billy, the pair of them watching the game.

"Friends okay Bells?" Charlie asks without looking up.

"All good Ch – Dad."

"Being safe Bella?" Billy asks with a raised eyebrow.

The meaning of the question he's always asking suddenly dawning on me.

"As safe as I can be under the circumstances." I respond quietly.

"We need more beer." He announces loudly, rolling out into the kitchen in his wheelchair.

I follow him and then lean against the counter looking down at him.

"You could change your circumstances." He observes.

"No. If I did that I'd be dead already and so would Charlie. It's me she's after."

He considers me in silence, perhaps torn between the fact that I'm his best friend's daughter and an apparent vampire sympathiser.

"There's trouble brewing on a scale you can't even imagine." I inform him somewhat melodramatically. "If we work together we can probably overcome it."

"We?" He asks. "You're not a bloodsucker, yet."

"They're my friends and they're trying to protect me and Charlie. I don't care what they suck." I stare him down with my newfound Rosalie powers.

"We could listen at least." He concedes after a long pause.

"They told me to tell you to run the line tonight. They'll be there. Then you can talk."

"Where's the beer Billy?" Charlie shouts.

"Coming." He shouts back.

"I hope you know what you're doing." He hisses in a quieter voice.

"No idea." I hiss back. "But then I'm only eighteen and all I've got to go on is the people who've helped me already."

Poker faced I hand him the beers I've grabbed from the refrigerator and watch him wheel himself back into the living room.

Suddenly exhausted I haul myself upstairs and collapse on the bed.

I've no idea, no idea at all. I want Edward, I want to feel his arms wrapped securely around me. I want to smell his sweet breath as it washes across my face and I want to hear him tell me that everything will be okay.

But he has nothing to say on the matter.

I shudder as the curtain wall comes down and the ghost hole gapes open. For the first time in a while I cry myself to sleep.


	9. Chapter 9

**Disclaimer: Stephanie Meyer owns all. **

**Rated M for ****several reasons. **

**Chpt 8 Preparation**

**RPOV**

Pete takes their bags upstairs and hops in the shower while Char and I stretch out on the couches to wait for Em to come back.

"She's a cute little thing." Char observes. "Are you going to change her?"

"Not if I can help it."

"Pete said you were trying to give her a normal human life." She says quietly. "Do you think that's still likely to happen?"

"No."

"Then what are you waiting' for?"

"A miracle."

She laughs gently. "Good luck with that one Rose."

I snort.

As Em strolls through the door my cell vibrates. I snatch it up and read Bella's text.

"The wolves will be out tonight."

"Excellent." Pete drawls, coming down the stairs and shaking the water out of his hair.

I growl at him and curl my lip as he splatters water all over Esme's silk wall hangings. Peasant.

"When do you want Em and I to leave for Seattle?" Char asks.

"A couple of hours after our meetin' with the wolves, just in case it's a trick." He answers, plopping down on the end of her couch and lifting her feet into his lap.

"They wouldn't do that would they?" Em asks.

Smelly and mangy they may be but to date in all our dealings with the wolves they've been honourable.

"I dunno Em." Pete shrugs. "They're your neighbours but I didn't get to be this age by makin' assumptions about my safety."

I nod. Makes sense

"We've got a couple of hours before we need to leave." Em comments as he peels himself out his leathers, accidently lifting his t-shirt nearly all the way up to his ears.

Suddenly I have a very vivid idea what I could occupy myself with for a couple of hours.

"Down Blondie!" Pete chortles.

I snarl at him, showing my perfect and wickedly sharp teeth.

"Come on." He says getting to his feet and pulling Char to hers. "Now would be a good time to practise some of the moves I showed ya last time we came for a visit."

A smile spreads over my face. Pete's the only one who's ever bothered to teach me how to fight, Jazz always declines on the basis he likes his boys where they are and Em is far too gentlemanly to spar with me.

"Oh here we go." Char mutters. "I never thought teaching an aggressive woman how to fight was a good idea."

"Shush wife." Pete scolds. "Anyone with an attitude like Rose's needs to know how to defend herself. Ain't that right Blondie?"

Growling I leap for him sending the pair of us tumbling down the steps and into the drive.

"I hate it when they do this." Em mutters.

"He won't hurt her." Char assures him. "Much."

And he doesn't. I'm no match for him but I have to say the scrap does wonders for my current stress levels and he teaches me a couple of new things that might be useful against four leggers or newborns.

Eventually Em separates us and I straighten my clothing, taking deep breaths to calm down.

Grinning fiercely I give him a massive hug. God how I wish they had taught me this stuff at school! I'm so grateful he lets me do it on the rare occasions Pete visits, even though I know he hates it.

Laughing he hugs me back.

"Feeling better babe?"

"Much."

The last time we lived on our own he did build us a gym but no matter how we tried to fix up the punch bag it always ended up in the neighbour's yard. Trust me, hitting something that floats away like a cotton ball is no form of stress relief even if it does take half the ceiling with it.

I flit upstairs to get changed. There is no excuse for going out looking like you've been dragged through a Pete backwards.

An hour later we're roaming backwards and forwards on our side of the creek at the edge of our property, waiting for the wolves to appear on theirs.

We can smell them a long time before the three horse sized dogs hove into view and we can smell the others, hiding in the trees.

"Good evenin'." Pete greets them easily, settling down on his haunches and regarding them steadily. "I guess the little Swan asked you to come here an' I'm grateful for your consideration.

I know you guys are all about protectin' human life an' I don't want to get into the semantics of who eats what. We're all god's creatures and we all need to eat summat to live. I'm quite partial to a bit of drug dealer myself and the wife's preference is rapist.

We're here to help Blondie an' her husband protect the human Bella Swan from the redheaded vampire, Victoria. I know you guys have been chasin' her, same as they have.

I know she ain't been around for a while but I'm fairly sure she'll be back an' when she does we can carry on huntin' and losin' her on our own or we can work together. She ain't gonna give up and the more she keeps comin' back around here the more innocent people are gonna die. I don't think _she_ has a feedin' preference.

There's one other thing ya'll ought to know. I'm guessin' you've seen the news about the killings in Seattle, well we think they're vampire related an' some of us are gonna go up there for a little look see. You guys know as well as I do that it ain't far from here for a vampire an' so with the danger to Bella we just wanna be careful. There's another reason an' that's that badly behaved vampires like this attract the attention of other vampires an' if those ones come here they'll do a very thorough investigation which ya have to trust me will involve checkin' out the surroundin' area. That means us, which would be inconvenient, an' you, which would be fatal.

I realise ya all can't answer me in ya current configuration so I'm suggestin' you go back home an' talk it all over with the rest of ya pack. We'll be here again same time tomorrow night to hear what ya have to say.

Agreed?"

The three wolves dip their huge heads in acknowledgement and then they turn and speed off into the night, their hidden brethren hot on their heels. The quality of the air improves dramatically and the unattractive wrinkle drops out of my patrician nose.

"Well then." Pete announces getting to his feet and re-arranging his pants. "That went well."

I snort, we don't know anything and now they know everything, how can that be good.

"We ain't dead Blondie." Pete explains. ""That's always a good start in Peter Perfect's book. An' now, to celebrate, I suggest we go back to your place so I can pretend to let Em thrash me on his X-Box."

Video games bore me into a coma, they require so much attention from the players that no one has any to spare for me. Not even Char, who seems to find it all quite entertaining.

Eventually I feel compelled to act out, Em's leaving for Seattle soon and I don't like to be apart from him and certainly not ignored beforehand.

We've been together so long he senses I'm about to blow before it happens so he tosses the controller suddenly to Char and beckons me upstairs to our room crushing my rigid body in a tight embrace.

I know how it works, to anyone else it would look like shallow Rose having another strop but he and I both know there's more to it than that. He's everything to me and the idea of being parted from him is physically painful. We never talk about it, there's no need.

"You will be careful won't you?" I murmur into his solid chest.

"Of course I will babe, I want to get back to you as soon as possible."

I sigh heavily.

"Come on Rose." He chides me gently. "Out of the two of us the best one to stay here and look out for Bella is you and the best one to go vampire hunting with Char is me."

I nod miserably.

"If you take her out on that bike you'd better take proper care of her babe. I'll be cross if I come back and find her in the hospital."

I snort.

"You know I love you, right?"

I nod briefly.

"Good." He says squeezing me even tighter.

"You're creasing my blouse." I object after a few minutes.

"Sorry babe." He chuckles releasing me and holding me at arm's length.

"You'd better bring me back a present." I warn him.

"Always babe, always."

"Humph."

"Lovebirds!" Pete calls up. "Char's ready to go and ya shouldn't keep a lady waiting.

I snort again.

"I heard that!" Char shouts. "When you can spell Lady Rose, we'll talk about which one of us it applies to."

I laugh. She's got a point. I was taught to walk with a book on my head, she was born with it.

'Be careful' I mouth at Em as head downstairs.

As soon we come into view Pete grabs Char and dips her down for a passionate kiss. I'm not one for PDAs but a laughing Em follows suit as I pummel him uselessly with my fists.

Pete stands beside me as we watch Em and Char melt away into the night.

"So Blondie." He says when they're gone. "J's told me all about Edward's nightly visits to Bella's bedroom, care to show me?"

"No perving." I warn him.

He salutes me theatrically.

I roll my eyes.

And so the weekend begins with us hanging out in the tree opposite Bella's window.

"She's cryin'." He observes.

"Duh."

"Over the Boy Wonder?" He asks incredulously.

"She's very young." I admonish him.

"Ah now." He sighs. "We can't have that. He ain't worth it."

"Humph."

As soon as she shows signs of waking the next morning we make ourselves scarce and I head back to the house to shower and change while Pete keeps an eye on her from afar.

As agreed she arrives late after putting her truck back together.

"Sounds good." I observe as she climbs out.

"I did what you told me." She says quietly, pausing to pat the hood affectionately.

"Also good." I observe dryly, hiding my smile as she rolls her eyes when she thinks I'm not looking.

"What's the plan for today?" She asks.

"We can take the bikes out. Or we can shop. Or we can hang out with Pete."

"I hate shopping." She reminds me, wrinkling her little nose.

"So do I little one." Pete agrees as he emerges from the house. "Borin' in the extreme. However, there's some fun to be had playin' with the humans if you're broad minded."

I hide another smile.

"Um." She says carefully. "If it's all the same to you I don't think I'm as broad minded as you are."

"I should hope not." He gasps in mock surprise. "A girl of your age. The very idea!"

She looks at me questioningly.

"He's corruptus in extremis." I laugh. "But he'll behave if we tell him to."

"Behave." She orders him firmly before breaking out into a huge smile.

"Okay little one. But only cos you asked me to."

"So." I ask. "What do you want to do?"

"Um." She looks down at her feet. God I wish she'd stop doing that.

"What?" I snap. For god's sake child spit it out, the worse that can happen is someone says no. It's not hard.

"Um, if it's alright with you guys I'd like to learn more about vampires?"

I like the question. Information is king. But I'm not so happy about the probable reason for it.

"Okay darlin'." Pete drawls while I fulminate. "Come inside an' I'll tell ya anythin' you wanna know."

With a sigh I follow them. This will either be very good or _very_ bad.


	10. Chapter 10

**Disclaimer: Stephanie Meyer owns all. **

**Rated M for several reasons. **

**Chpt 9 Too Much Information**

**BPOV**

I cooked dinner. I served dinner. Charlie and I ate dinner. I went to my room, Charlie went to Harry's. I put some very loud music on and lay down on the bed.

Vampires.

Beautiful. Check. Strong, fast and virtually indestructible. Check.

Blood thirsty, aggressive, violent, horny, murderous, vengeful, bored. No check.

I have a feeling the concept of sugar coating is entirely lost on Pete. And despite my current horror levels I can't help but be grateful.

His life, or whatever it was after he was turned, and Char's. Nasty. But apparently not that unusual. And Jasper? I forgave him for trying to eat me, I was bleeding and he was a vampire, the consequences aren't hard to compute. But. His life. I don't know whether to cry for him, and Pete and Char, or despise him for his depravity. Blood wars. Wars over blood. Actual blood, human blood. As it comes, so to speak, straight from the source.

Armies built from deliberately turned newborn vampires, stronger and faster than the older ones because their own blood is still feeding their system. Taught to fight as a unit but nothing else, not how to control their bloodlust or any of their other rampaging urges. Not taught any of that because when they reach a year old and start to slow down they are ruthlessly murdered to make way for more. Unless they have manifested a useful gift by then.

The lives of a lot of vampires are nothing like the Cullens, on any level and the start nowhere near as loving.

Edward told me about his rebellious period. He made it sound almost romantic. Or perhaps I allowed it to sound romantic in my own mind. Judge, jury and executioner. But really, there's nothing romantic about dead people and what if he made a mistake, despite his mind reading ability. There's no parole from being found dead in an alley. And he could have made mistakes, he can't read my mind and if he could he'd assume I'm some kind of sex addict. Which, in fairness, I have often felt like in the face of his considerable charms yet sensible rejections.

Is there such a thing as an un-sex addict? Because if there is I'm in line to be an expert.

Unfortunately Pete is one of the most honest anythings I've met in my entire, that I now appreciate to be short, life.

My cycle. Eeeew. So didn't need to know that.

Arousal? Is that what he called it after my cheeks flamed from his original description? Never has that word sounded so wrong. They can smell that? Triple eeeew, with knobs on. He described in graphic detail what that can do to a vampire. Never did it to Edward, what does that mean? Either he has self-control of epic proportions or he doesn't need it and he doesn't care.

Yuk, yuk, yuk.

And the rest? Like watching friends and family age and die, apparently as compulsive as Facebook, or the immortal children, or any number of the other thought provoking things I learnt tonight.

He had better be worth it.

The sudden silence of my cd finishing brings me back from my obsessive internal rambling.

With a heavy sigh I grab my kit and retire to the bathroom.

Returning to my room I find Rosalie sitting cross legged on my bed.

"Um. Hi."

"Char called." She says. "The news isn't good."

I can't stop my eyes from rolling. Not just because the news isn't good but also because I'm surround by vampires who apparently don't know the benefits of leading into something gently.

Without speaking I slowly, it annoys her, put my things away and sit down in the rocking chair.

With an impatient sigh she turns herself around to face me.

"Em recognised both Victoria and Laurent's scents in Seattle."

"Okay." Somehow the news that she's still around here is not entirely unexpected. Laurent is new though, I thought he was with their cousins in Alaska and I say as much.

"So did I." She growls. "I rang Tanya pretending, well never mind, anyway Laurent left a few weeks ago, they don't know where he went but they are expecting him back in another couple of weeks."

"So he's taking a vacation and hooked up with Victoria in Seattle?" I hedge.

"No." Here comes the non-sugar coated pill. "Their scents are all around the newborns Char and Em found."

"Which means?"

"Which means they probably created them."

"And they would do this, because?" I ask. Typical Rosalie, why deliver all the bad news in one go when you can make the human ask for it a piece at a time.

"Because, oh snarky one, the best way to get past two vampires and myriad wolves is to have a small army of newborns."

"Oh."

"Indeed." She responds her perfect brow furrowing. "Don't you exfoliate when you bathe?"

"Excuse me?"

"I said." She pauses. "Oh never mind, this is you we're talking about, it isn't your style."

And now I feel vulnerable _and_ insulted. So far, so Rosalie.

"So what do we do now?" I ask tentatively, suddenly worried that they'll all decide I'm too much trouble and leave me to my fate.

"Pete's gone to meet with the wolves. Apparently his gift told him it was safe." She says with perfectly pitched sarcasm. "Char and Em have all the information they need and are on their way back."

"Safe." She adds, reading my expression like a pro. "Pete thinks if the wolves will help us we should be able to deal with them on our own."

"What if she makes more?"

"Char doesn't think she will. With two mature vampires and a city full of humans they're already struggling to control the ones they've got. Pete agrees and they both think she's ready to move any day."

I stare at her wordlessly, not knowing what to say, it's all starting to feel a bit too real.

"Are you alright?" She asks.

My mouth falls open is surprise, she didn't even ask me that when I head butted the ground after being flung from my bike.

"Are you alright?" She asks again with a little more inflection in her voice.

"Um. Yes. Sorry. Just. It's a lot to take in."

"I'm sure it is." She says crisply. "We need to plan and so I came to ask, do you want to be there?"

I nod.

"Fine. I will be back to collect you after Charlie falls asleep. Leave your window open."

And with a fluid grace I will never possess she unfolds herself and disappears down the stairs.

With a martyred sigh I head back into the bathroom to exfoliate like a mad thing.

Much to my surprise Rosalie has to rouse me from a deep and dreamless sleep. Not that the sight of her ethereal face scowling down at me in the darkness won't give me nightmares for weeks to come.

"Are you awake?" She hisses. "Because there have been a couple of false alarms."

"Huh?"

"Apparently you talk in your sleep."

"Oh. Did I, um, say anything I shouldn't have?"

"No." She snaps. "I know I'm a bitch. That isn't exactly news."

"Sorry." I mutter rubbing my eyes.

"Less apologising, more getting dressed and getting out of here." She urges. "Char and Em are almost back, Pete's spoken to the wolves and Charlie is out like a light. Now is the perfect time."

I dress quickly and start carefully onto the landing. She stops me with a shake of her head and the awful truth dawns, she's going to carry me there and back because it's the dead of night and we daren't wake anybody.

Great.

Nauseated and stiff from trying to hold myself away from her as much as possible we soon arrive at the Cullen's place which is blazing with light.

A grinning Pete is waiting for us on the steps.

"Ah." He says happily. "The ladies have arrived. Now we can get this party started."

He makes a big show of clicking the remote in his hand and some entirely inappropriate music floods Esme's meadow.

"This isn't a party." Rosalie growls, lowering me to the ground and checking automatically to make sure I don't stumble and fall on my face.

I'd be offended but since I am about to do just that I'm grateful for her suddenly outstretched arm. I'm also grateful for the music clicking off abruptly, my eardrums have been abused enough for one night.

"Oh little one." Pete chuckles. "A good dose of vampire would fix those balance issues."

Before Rosalie can start on her favourite subject, why I shouldn't be a vampire, I hold up my hand.

"Pete." I inform him. "You told me vampirism accentuates whatever characteristics someone has as a human. That's an aspect of clumsiness I don't want to explore right now."

He throws his head back and laughs before descending the steps and pulling me into a bone crushing hug.

"I like you little one." He chuckles. "When you get bored of Eddie Boy look me up, the wife an' I'll be glad of the entertainment."

"Thanks." I mutter into his rock hard chest.

"Put her down." Rosalie orders. "She's not a toy."

"She's no fun." He whispers as he releases me. "You remember that when the time comes little one."

"Oh for fuck's sake." Rosalie groans.

"Rose!"

"Oops." She murmurs winking at me.

Turning I find Em bearing down on us with a frown on his handsome face. Char is right behind him with an enormous smile on hers.

With a squeal she leaps into Pete's arms and they kiss passionately.

Em stops in front of Rose and they stare into each other's eyes.

Feeling like a spare prig at a wedding I wander into the house, missing Edward so much the ghost hole is threatening to rip itself open.

With a pained sigh I collapse onto the couch. Remembering all the times when I was here with him. And not so alone.

Before I've even settled back for a good mope the four vampires charge into the room filling it with noise and life, arguing about who gets to sit next to me and whether or not I need feeding or watering.

Within seconds I'm wedged in between Em and Char who begin plying me with questions about my human needs and arguing about them without even waiting for me to reply.

Looking up I find Rosalie smiling at me and without thinking I smile back.

"Leave her alone." She snaps. "We have things to discuss and I'm pretty sure she'll speak up if she wants anything. She's a human not a retard."

"Eloquently put as usual Blondie." Pete chuckles lowering himself onto the other couch. "Report Mrs Whitlock, the night grows old."

"Definitely newborns." She recounts. "There were about a dozen scents and I'd say they were just about under control. Two mature vampires running with them, both of whom Em recognised, Victoria and Laurent.

Most of the deaths are being reported around the docks and it wasn't hard to work out what was going on, the human police had cleaned up the murder scenes but there was still plenty of evidence for a vampire to find. I'd say that in at least one case they got totally out of control and had a massacre on their hands, there was way more blood and tissue there than what the cops found.

Anyway, that's why I'm pretty sure they'll move soon, if they lose control of that many newborns in such a populated area The Volturi will be on them before they can blink."

"Do you think she's made that many newborns to get at Bella?" Pete asks Em.

"I can't be sure." He shrugs, giving my hand a squeeze. "But unless she's got another enemy around here somewhere I can't imagine why else she'd be doing it."

"I don't think it matters anyway." Pete muses. "With that many she's gonna need to get 'em out of the city an' the Olympic Peninsula is the obvious place to go. So I reckon we'd best assume that they're comin' here an' comin' quick."

Everyone to turns to me. Of course I blush.

"Now what?" I manage to stammer. "Do we run?"

"Hell no, little one." Pete assures me with a laugh. "Our doggie friends are gonna help us and when the redhead gets here she's in for a nasty and fatal surprise."

"I don't like the idea of other people putting themselves in danger for me." I huff.

"I'm sure ya don't." Pete chuckles. "But since fightin' vampires is outside your current skill set what else are ya gonna do?"

"I could lead them away from here." I suggest.

He sighs and looks at me speculatively.

"Do you have any idea how fuckin' stupid that is?" He asks eventually. "Ya disappoint me little one. If they come here lookin' for ya everyone you're worried about protecting's gonna end up dead anyway, closely followed by you. If you're gonna survive as a vampire or a human you need to start usin' the parts of your brain that haven't been watchin' too much drama on the television."

"Oh." Is my considered response. Yep, I bet that impressed him.

"Real life romantic heroines don't get rescued in the nick of time by some twerp on a white horse." He concludes.

"So what _is_ the plan?" Rosalie demands her miniscule store of patience run down.

"Ambush." He answers with a wicked grin.


	11. Chapter 11

**Disclaimer: Stephanie Meyer owns all. **

**Rated M for several reasons. **

**Chpt 10 Time Runs Out**

**BPOV**

The plan is simple. Pick a spot far enough from Forks to avoid a massacre but close enough to their objective to make it difficult to miss us.

Make the hapless human stumble about in the wilderness leaving scent trails, and in my case probably blood, all over everything.

Get a smelly wolf to hide the human in a tree, no, I didn't know wolves could climb either. Leave a vicious killer, Rosalie, to guard the human.

Lie in wait at the end of the previously laid scent trail and surprise newborns, mature vampires, tearing them limb from limb before starting a really big fire and celebrating well into the night.

Like I said, simple.

Rosalie had to go and complicate it.

Target human running about in the middle of nowhere equals suspicious. Hence I will now be on my bike, this brought everything closer to Forks than I would have liked but the vampires don't seem bothered. It also means that someone can be with me without leaving a scent trail of their own. Smelly wolf and tree remain the same, they do climb, they just have to be in human form to do it.

She wasn't sure how to guarantee that they would follow me but Pete assured her that the newborns would pick up the recent scent of tangy human easily and while Victoria and Laurent were chasing them down they would quickly realise it was mine. I'm distinctive that way apparently, go me.

So the next problem was how to clear my schedule so that I can be free to ride around the Olympic Peninsula without attracting the attention of an acutely vulnerable Charlie. Pete was most clear on the fact that the overall success of the plan relies on Victoria and the newborns never reaching Forks.

To my utter amazement it took two phone calls and Charlie was suddenly invited up to Seattle to assist with the manhunt for their 'serial killer'. He was so proud I almost broke down and told him the truth but in fairness the Seattle cops claim they were looking for local fisherman since there were no bodies to deal with even rang true with me. The fisherman angle was call one. Call two was I know a cop who's heavily involved with the fishing community. Pete is one hell of liar, with a wide range of contacts.

With many admonishments to stay safe, as in not to trip over my own deadly feet, Charlie departed for Seattle with his battered suitcase. Safely away from whatever is about to happen here, for which Pete has my eternal gratitude.

As soon as he's gone I pack a bag of my own and wait in silence for Em to come and collect me. All of this is way outside my experience and knowledge and no matter how hard I try I can't imagine how it's going to end. Eventually I decide that's probably a good thing and even my mind goes quiet.

Em arrives in his non-descript Ford and we head back to the Cullen's place in comfortable silence.

"Are you scared?" He asks eventually.

"A bit."

"Want to talk about it?" He offers.

"I'd rather not." I tell him with a sigh. "I don't think it will help."

"We'll keep you safe." He promises. "And this will all be over soon. Then you can get on with your life."

I nod but don't answer. What life? I suppose they'll all leave me again. I'll probably go to college. Then what, cats? The funny thing is I've never been able to see past that point in my life. I'll go to college, I have no idea what I want to do or what will happen afterwards. My imagination always stopped there, the rest of it a blank canvass even before I met Edward and my whole world changed.

There's no one about when we arrive and miserably I drag myself into the house and flop down in a chair to wait.

Em laughs at my poor little face and then disappears too.

The silence is oppressive.

Lonely, I'm so lonely . . . .

"Little one." A soft voice whispers in my ear.

Screaming I leap to my feet while Pete collapses into the vacated chair shaking with laughter.

"Don't do that!" I snap. "You nearly gave me a heart attack."

He cocks his head clearly listening to my wildly beating heart.

"Sounds very healthy to me." He chuckles.

Char appears behind him and cuffs him gently round the ear.

"Sorry Bella." She says with a smile. "He can be quite infantile sometimes but he's mostly harmless."

"You're gonna ruin my hard man reputation darlin'." He complains, pulling her into his lap.

"Oh Petey." She sighs, planting a kiss on his forehead. "We both know that's all in your head."

"Your very _swollen_ head." Rosalie drawls coming to stand beside me.

"Help me Bella." Pete pleads making puppy dog eyes at me. "They're gangin' up on me."

I hold my hands up and step back. Char and Rosalie _both_ scare me, he's on his own.

Em arrives with a board game in his hands.

"Let's play this while we wait for the wolves?" He suggests hopefully.

"God Em." Rosalie growls. "How old are you?"

"Over the age it says on the box babe and that's all that matters."

By force of his personality alone we are soon sat around the dining room table attempting to play Monopoly by a set of rules which seem to be known to only him. Needless to say he's winning and it isn't going down very well with the others. I haven't laughed so much in a long time.

The wolves are meeting us here at the house and as soon as the others smell them approaching we abandon Em's game and gather outside at the bottom of the steps.

As they emerge from the trees I gasp in fear and dart behind Rosalie, who snorts in amusement. They are absolutely huge. Massive. Giant grizzly bears disguised as wolves. There are five, the others are staying back to protect La Push, the largest black one in the lead and flanked by others who range from pale grey to dark brown. Their eyes glow in a way a natural wolf's wouldn't but despite the terrifying appearance there is something jaunty about their plummy tails. Or, I am just properly insane at his point.

The supernatural gathering watch me intently as I wheel my motorcycle out of the garage and start it up.

Pete gives last minute instructions and we all depart into the unknown.

My riding skills are seriously hampered by having a stone beauty queen perched on the back of the bike and so we proceed slowly into the forest between Forks and Seattle. After an hour my passenger instructs me to turn right and start leaving the scent trail.

"I am bored." She announces after another hour.

"This was your idea." I growl, concentrating on putting my foot or hand out from time to time to touch something as we pass.

"I didn't realise it would be so boring." She huffs.

About thirty feet behind us the massive black wolf is shadowing us, weaving silently in and out of the trees. He's the one who's going to 'tree' me when the time comes.

"What if they don't come today and we have to do this for weeks on end?" I ask her.

"Then either I will die from boredom, or _you _will." She growls.

"I thought you never ate humans?"

"I don't and I won't but that doesn't mean I've never killed one."

It takes a minute or two but eventually I pluck up the courage to ask what she means.

"Later." She says dismissively. "If you really want to know I'll tell you later when all this is over.

Good enough. Rosalie is true to her word if nothing else and I've got time to decide if I really want to know.

Another hour passes and my stomach decides it's time to stop for a snack. Rosalie neatly launches herself off the bike and into a nearby tree, hanging upside down like a vampire bat.

The black wolf creeps in closer and settles down on his haunches with a huge yawn. My, what big teeth you have. I shudder.

I'm halfway through my granola bar when he leaps back to his feet, head down and teeth bared with every hair on his body standing to attention.

Rosalie flips herself upright and climbs higher in the tree, scanning the horizon.

I scramble back onto my bike and wait.

"You should keep heading south." Rosalie calls down. "We'll follow you."

The wolf shakes his head emphatically and Rosalie climbs back down the tree stopping near the bottom.

"What?" She demands.

He shimmers and shakes and before my startled eyes turns into Sam Uley. A naked Sam Uley. A naked and I assume excited, Sam Uley.

I gasp in shock and flush bright red, slapping my hand over my eyes.

"The others have seen the attackers." He says urgently. "They are here and one of them has already crossed Bella's scent. They are coming, now. There is no time. Your vampires and the rest of my pack are trying to catch up with them."

"We must get her into a tree, quickly." Rosalie orders.

Sam grabs me and I tremble in mortification as a naked man, who I've probably spoken no more than a few words to in my entire life, sweeps me off my bike and slings me onto his back. He takes off running, to put as much distance between me and the end of scent trail as possible. After a few minutes he veers abruptly left and with a mighty leap he hits a tree trunk about ten feet up and starts climbing. I screw my eyes tight shut and hold on around his neck. His heavily muscled body is so warm I can feel sweat break out between my breasts.

"You have arrived and can open your eyes." Rosalie greets me.

I obey and clutch poor Sam even tighter.

"Holy shit." I whisper. We are a long way up, a very long way up.

Carefully Rosalie lifts me off Sam's back and settles me against the tree trunk on a good, solid feeling branch.

"Don't move." She orders pointlessly.

I roll my eyes. As if.

Sam winks and promptly disappears back down the trunk.

"So much for Pete's plan." She observes, eyes scanning the horizon.

I laugh. A short bitter laugh. Welcome to my life, a series of short disasters starring _me_ as the helpless victim. I probably should have warned them.

After a tense wait three ragged looking vampires I don't recognise appear on the edge of the clearing where we left my bike. They look around cautiously, sniffing the air like dogs. Beside me Rosalie freezes like a statue.

I hold my breath. They look, well they look kind of feral and very, very frightening.

A rumbling sound like distant thunder sounds behind them and I can see the tops of some of the trees trembling as if there is a sudden wind.

Two of the vampires turn and dart back that way but one of them moves forwards slowly, studying my bike intently his head cocked to one side.

Suddenly he turns and looks directly up at Rosalie and me. My breathing hitches, even at this distance I can see his bright red crazy eyes. With a snarl he starts forwards immediately blurring with superhuman speed.

A black blur streaks out to meet him and they come together with a reverberating crash.

"Sam." Rosalie explains absently.

As I struggle to follow the fight below us another much larger fracas is coming inexorably towards us. Its progress easy for me to track, as trees topple suddenly from sight and _terrible_ sounds draw nearer.

I can barely follow the action, I certainly can't see anything of the fight, just random whirls of color that emit curses, snarls or gut wrenching tearing sounds before they crash loudly against something and then blur back into action.

It's terrifying and completely disorientating.

Rosalie watches the action intently, obviously able to see what's happening, occasionally it occurs to her to tell me.

Mostly she just gasps out a name that has my stomach tightening in fear.

"Victoria and Laurent are attacking Em." She whispers and I feel her fear. Pete told us newborns may be stronger and faster but mature vampires are usually much more effective fighters.

"Go."

She looks at me strangely.

"If it were Edward I would go." I urge her. "He's your husband, your mate. Go. I understand, I really do."

Her look becomes conflicted and then darts back to the melee below.

"I have to." She decides quietly. "You hold on tight, like your life depends on it!"

I nod mutely.

She pats my shoulder and then backflips out of my sight.

I manage to track her blur for a while and then she joins the whirling mass and I can't distinguish her any longer.

Frantic movement is all around me, sometimes brushing up against my tree and setting it trembling but since nothing's climbed it yet I assume that part of the plan is working and no one else knows I'm here.

Impossibly it seems like there are more vampires and wolves fighting now than there were originally. I still can't see anything but the sound of battle is escalating and my poor heart is struggling to beat out a response. Desperately I will myself to be calm, aware from Pete's instruction that even all the way up here a vampire might hear me, or smell me, if the circumstances are right.

Which is why Rosalie should be with me but it can't be helped, no one should be expected to abandon their loved ones when they are in danger, it isn't right.

Another swirl of action buffets my tree which groans in protest and rocks wildly from side to side. I bite my hand to stop myself from screaming.

Even with James I don't think I have ever been this scared. In Phoenix at least I was buoyed up the knowledge I was doing a good thing, here I feel like all I'm doing is waiting to die.

And I don't want to die, not in the permanent sense.

The tree groans and sways again as another blur of movement smashes against it beneath me.

My grip tightens.

Really, now would be a good time to get a vision of Edward, I'm in adrenaline overload and it would be nice to go with a smile on my face.

Should I call out to warn the others that my tree is under attack or would that just draw more attention? Or fatally distract them from their own fights.

Once again something barrels into my tree and this time I hear splintering wood before a deep groan starts up and the tree begins to tip slowly backwards.

Calm overtakes me. A 'what will be, will be' moment. Swiftly followed by a fresh surge of panic, this won't be the first time I've fallen out of a tree although it's going to be considerably more fatal.

Inside my head a tiny voice cries out 'T i m bb eee rrrrrrr!' as the tree and I plummet to the ground.

Mercifully one of the whipping branches wallops me in the face and everything goes black.


	12. Chapter 12

**Disclaimer: Stephanie Meyer owns all. **

**Rated M for several reasons. **

**Chpt 11 Knight on a White Charger**

**RPOV**

My relief when she finally opens her eyes is immediately replaced by irritation as Emo Ed leans even closer into her face.

Em gently takes my hand and it gives it a squeeze. I favour him with a tight smile.

She gasps.

"Is it really you?"

"Yes." He says in that annoyingly breathy voice he always uses when he talks to her. "It's really me."

"Am I dead?"

I snort and he flicks me a warning glance.

"No love." He drops a kiss on her forehead. "You're not dead."

"I fell out of a tree." She whispers gazing up at him in wonder.

I grind my teeth together and Em shoots me a look.

"You did." Emo Ed says gently. "But you're not hurt, you are safe, here with me."

She closes her eyes with satisfied sigh.

Oh for fuck's sake this is like watching an accident in slow motion.

Abruptly her eyes open again and she struggles to sit up. Emo Ed tries to restrain her but she shoos him away and reluctantly he helps her into a sitting position.

She looks around blinking at us all in surprise.

"You're all here." She says stupidly. "There was a fight. What happened, was anyone hurt?"

"No." Pete responds, doing a twirl for her. "We're all fine. They caught us by surprise but we managed to get on top of things."

My idiotic little brother growls at him.

"Give it a rest." Pete responds calmly. "You've had your say on the matter. Victoria, Laurent and the newborns are all dead. The little one is alive and well. J arrived just in time to catch her when she fell out of the tree and you didn't even need to get ya smart slacks dirty."

The look on Ed's face is priceless, torn between getting in Pete's face again on the subject of recklessly endangering his beloved or keeping his prime spot by her side. Prick.

"You caught me?" Bella asks, peering shyly around Ed to look at Jazz.

"I did and it was a pleasure." He responds with a wink. "It's not every day a beautiful girl falls on me from a great height."

Alice and I growl at him. Which only makes him laugh.

"Thank you." She says politely and then she looks at me.

"What happened?"

With a triumphant smile I scoot an outraged Ed out of the way and sit down next to her.

"When I left you I managed to get to Em and help him out." I begin and she nods approvingly while Ed shoots me a murderous glare. "Sam had already shredded that newborn and the rest of the fight was in full swing. Pete's almost as impressive as he claims to be.

The tide was just turning in our favour when Edward, Alice and Jazz arrived. Alice had a vision of you falling out of a really big tree, they called Carlisle and Esme and asked them to come. They managed to follow our scent from the house and stumbled on the fight.

Em was fighting Victoria when they knocked your tree down. He didn't know you were up there but Jazz had caught your scent and managed to catch you."

I pause staring into her wide innocent eyes.

"I'm sorry." I manage to choke out finally.

She shakes her head and smiles slightly, flicking her eyes briefly at Em. I nod and the subject is closed. We understand each other perfectly in that respect.

"The wolves?" She asks.

"All fine." Carlisle answers. "I had to reset a couple of broken bones but no permanent damage was done."

With a sigh she closes her eyes.

"I think I'll go back to sleep now if that's all right with everybody." She murmurs.

"Is she alright?" Ed demands attempting to pull me out of the way.

"She's fine." I snap showing him my teeth. "She can sleep without your input _Ed_."

"Rosalie." Esme chides me. "Edward is just concerned about her. He's had quite a scare."

I rise to my feet glaring down at my little brother.

"He's had quite a scare?" I spit out slowly and distinctly. "What about Bella? What about what she's been through since he decided that leaving her was in her best interests."

"Rosalie." Carlisle warns me.

Abruptly I raise my hands to Edward's chest shoving him roughly across the room.

"How fucking dare you come back here and start laying down the law about Bella's safety? How dare you have a go at Pete for using her as bait to catch a crazed vampire _you_ left her alone to deal with in the first place. Just who do you fucking think you are?"

"Rosalie." Carlisle warns me again.

"I'm not finished." I growl. "You left her and you lied to her. You broke her heart. If she takes you back I'll kill her myself."

"Okay babe, that's enough." Em drawls wrapping his huge arms around me from behind. "And before you start Edward, Rose won't hurt her. She's done nothing but help her and protect her. I'm more inclined to let you and Bella work this out on your own but if you hurt her again you'll have me to deal with this time.

That's a line in the sand you don't want to cross brother."

Without giving me a chance to protest he lifts me easily off my feet and carries me upstairs to our room for a much needed time out.

**BPOV**

I slowly come back to myself keeping my eyes closed and processing through everything that's happened.

But my stupid brain keeps interrupting and reminding me that he's here. Edward's back.

Reluctantly I open my eyes.

Edward's perfect face is inches from mine, his brow furrowed in concern.

"Are you alright?" He asks his sweet breath wafting into my face.

Mentally I take inventory. Woolly head, crusty eyes, dog breath, urgent need to pee.

"Yes, I um, just need a human moment."

He helps me to my feet, steadying me as I sway.

"Do you need me to help you?" He asks solicitously.

"No, it's okay, I've being going to the toilet on my own since I was about three."

He blinks at me in surprise and I realise that I've been hanging out with Rosalie and Pete much more than is healthy.

"Sorry." I mutter as I stumble to the bathroom.

Finished I study myself in the mirror.

Birds nest hair, rumpled clothes, bleary eyes, bruised cheekbone. Not the way to greet your knight on a white charger. But hey, at least I recently exfoliated.

I reach up to examine my bruise and wince.

Lifting up my shirt I find another two bruises on my ribs. Imprints of Jasper's arms I presume.

"Are you alright?" Edward's voice asks from just the other side of the door.

"Yes. Can you go and wait in the other room? This isn't a spectator sport."

He moves away with a heavy sigh and I return my attention to inspecting myself for damage. All in all not too bad considering I fell out of a tree in the middle of a fight between vampires and werewolves.

Satisfied I take a deep breath and unlock the door.

Instead of Edward I find Pete lurking in the hallway.

"Alright little one?" He asks with a smirk.

"Yes. Thank you. And thank you for coming here to help me out, I really appreciate it."

"It was no bother darlin'. It's been fun an' I wouldn't a wanted ya to end up at the mercy of that redhead. I kinda like you."

"Thanks. Are you, um, going to hang around for a while?"

"Well now." He muses, his smirk turning evil. "Normally no, the brady bunch an' I don't get along for very long. But with you here? An' little ole Eddie? Now that's got the potential to be downright entertainin' so if ya want us to me an' the wife will be happy to stay on for a while."

I'm not sure what he's on about but I will miss him when he leaves. For a dead guy he's more alive than anyone I've ever met.

"I'd like that." I answer eventually.

"Excellent." He says giving me one of his bone crushing hugs. "Char's found a nice little house in town where we can play at being human for a while. I'll go tell her the good news."

And he skips off leaving me in the hallway shaking my head uncertainly.

I find Edward in the kitchen with Esme, making me a snack.

The elder Cullen pulls me into her arms immediately.

"I'm so sorry." She whispers squeezing me gently. "We should never have left you. I shouldn't have allowed it. I failed you, I'm a terrible mother."

"It's okay." I mutter awkwardly patting her back. "I'm fine."

"You could have been killed." She murmurs sounding appalled.

"But I wasn't." I point out relaxing into her embrace. "Em and Rosalie looked after me."

"I know." She sniffs letting me go. "And I'm so proud of them, for doing the right thing when the rest of us didn't."

"Don't say that in front of Rosalie." I giggle.

"Don't worry, I won't." She laughs. "We've made you something to eat. Are you hungry?"

I nod eagerly and perch myself on one of the high stools while Edward places a sandwich and a glass of milk in front of me.

I smile at him automatically. I'm so happy to see him, the real him and not a hallucination, that I soon settle into a trance, biting and chewing as I gaze at his face.

Esme sidles out, tactfully leaving us alone.

"I'm so sorry." He says suddenly. "That I lied to you about why I left. That I wasn't here to protect you when Victoria came after you. That Peter Whitlock was able to put you in danger. That I left you in the first place."

I swallow and put down the rest of my sandwich.

"Why did you come back?" I ask after a long silence.

"Alice saw you in danger. I love you, I couldn't turn my back and let something happen to you. I love you Bella."

"Would you have come back if she hadn't seen anything?"

"Yes." He says simply, hanging his head in shame. "It was getting harder and harder each day to stay away. And Alice kept telling me I was being foolish, that I love you and you love me and I was just torturing us by trying to keep us apart. That there had to be a way we could make things work."

He sighs heavily and lifts his head to look at me.

I almost gasp at his beauty, he looks so forlorn, mesmerising gold eyes holding mine.

"Is there any way you can ever forgive me for being so idiotic?" He asks quietly, leaning in so that his cool exquisite breath washes over me.

I sigh. It's a ridiculous question. A few months ago I would have dragged my naked body over hot coals to be at his side again. What is there to forgive, he was only trying to do the right thing, the noble thing. My own, misguided, romantic hero.

He leans further forward and presses his cold hard lips firmly against mine.

My heart goes crazy, my stomach flips over and warmth spreads through my body like wildfire.

Before I can get properly excited he pulls away taking my hand in his and urging me to finish my sandwich.

I eat and drink mechanically as my racing pulse returns to normal.

There is a lot we need to talk about but for now I will allow myself to bask in the joy of his presence.

Rosalie and Em wander in, his arm draped casually over her shoulder.

Em seems happy to have his family back together but she looks murderous.

Oops. Time to beat a hasty retreat.

While Edward fetches my bag she shoves a pot of cream at me.

"Here. Use this next time you exfoliate, you'll look less like a lighthouse afterwards."

"Um, thanks."

Out in the driveway the Volvo is waiting and I supress an unexpected shudder.

Edward drives me home in silence casting worried glances at me every time I yawn.

I'm tired. I can't help it. It's been an extremely trying couple of days, months.

"Would you like me to stay?" He asks as he helps me out of the car.


	13. Chapter 13

**Disclaimer: Stephanie Meyer owns all. **

**Rated M for several reasons. **

**Chpt 12 Good Morning Vietnam **

**BPOV**

I'd love for him to stay, there is nothing I want more. But I'm not up to the big discussion we'll end up having, I'm too tired and the tiny voice inside is warning that I might not like the outcome if I rush into it.

"I'll be fine." I assure him as we face each other awkwardly on my porch. "The danger is gone and I'm really tired. You don't need to sit there all night and watch me sleep."

"I don't mind." He says smiling softly. "I always loved watching you sleep."

"Edward, I've sort of got used to being on my own again. I can sleep fine without you being with me."

He winces and immediately I regret hurting him but just as I'm about to invite him in another huge yawn strangles the words in my throat. Edward tonsils, tonsils Edward. Very attractive, perhaps its best that the next time he sees me I've had a chance to do something with my appearance.

He leans forwards and presses his lips briefly to my forehead.

I close my eyes and sigh, I've missed that so much.

"Can I see you tomorrow?" He asks.

"Yes." I nod. "I have chores to do but I should be finished around lunchtime."

"I'll be back then." He gives me another one of his heart-breaking smiles and I mentally kick myself in regret as I open the door and stumble inside.

As soon as I close it behind me another Olympic level yawn threatens to split my face in two and I kick my shoes off, trudging wearily upstairs and burying myself gratefully in the depths of my bed.

For a moment I wonder just how long I will stay awake worrying about everything but that's the last thing I remember.

**RPOV**

Scowling I watch his stupid shiny Volvo until it disappears around the bend in the drive.

That car is as personality free as he is. Prick.

"I can't believe she let him take her home." I huff eventually.

"You need to stay out of it babe." Em warns me again.

Behind his back I make, blah, blah, blah motions with my hands.

"I know what you're doing." He says easily.

"It isn't right." I snarl.

"Maybe not babe but you have to trust that Bells will work that out on her own."

I whirl on my heel and stalk back into the house.

The others are all gathered in the dining room.

"I thought we should have a talk while Edward is taking Bella home." Carlisle explains, gesturing me into a seat.

Em stands behind me with his hands on my shoulders. It's an intimate thing but we both know it's to keep me in my seat should the need arise.

"Rose." He starts. "Your mother and I are both very pleased with how you've dealt with this whole episode. It showed maturity and responsibility."

Not smiling is very easy. He takes a deep breath. I know what's coming next.

"But now that we are home. And we are staying. You need to allow Bella and Edward to work out any issues in their relationship themselves."

"He's going to smother her into submission, you know he is!" I object.

"Not deliberately Rose although I don't deny that he can be rather isolating in the way he treats her. Your mother and I will ensure that they spend a healthy amount of time apart. She needs to finish school and enjoy being with her friends, before we left they were far too reliant on each other and I agree that isn't healthy in a young relationship."

I nod.

"That does not mean that you will be allowed to fill the void." He chuckles knowingly. "Any decisions Bella needs to make will be her own."

I snort and he raises his eyebrow.

"If she decides to be a vampire he won't let her. How's that a decision of her own?"

"Edward is not the only one capable of turning Bella if that is what she really wants." He says calmly.

My jaw drops. He's actually thought about it, the sly old dog.

He smirks and then sobers abruptly.

"I am curious as to why you would want Bella to have the opportunity to become one of us, previously you were vehemently opposed."

Way to put me on the spot Dad.

"I want her to have a chance to make an informed decision." I grind out, glaring at him. "Not to choose it just because of him. I want her to do what's right for her."

Esme beams at me and I can't help but growl.

Em squeezes my shoulders reassuringly.

"Then we are on the same page Rosalie." Carlisle concludes. "And you will have to trust me. Does anyone have anything to add?"

Em, Esme and Jazz all shake their heads.

"I'll go and see her tomorrow." Alice chirps up. "I've missed her most after Edward."

I roll my eyes. Princess Perky is in the house, just what Bella needs, a visit from the Edward Cullen fan club.

"Can I go now?" I hiss.

Carlisle nods and Em releases me.

"I need to hunt." I inform them, darting out of the kitchen door and into the night.

**BPOV**

Unusually bright sunlight wakes me and I roll onto my back fighting my covers so I can stretch out my snarly limbs.

Oh yuk, I fell asleep with my clothes on.

Reluctantly I sit up. I have an essay to finish for one of my college applications and a ton of washing to do. There's something else I should be doing to today but I can't quite put my finger on it.

After a long hot bath I stagger downstairs in my sweatpants and a baggy t-shirt, my standard toiling away at home uniform.

After I've thrown the first load of washing in I sit down at the table and munch my way through a bowl of cereal, mentally planning out my essay.

A knock at the door finally jerks me all the way back to the land of living.

On the doorstep, swathed in scarves, sunglasses and an anti-sparkle hat is Char.

"Good morning neighbour." She greets me cheerily, shoving a bottle of wine into my hands. "House warming present."

I step back and gesture her in and she trots behind me as I return to the kitchen.

"Um. I'm pretty sure I'm supposed to give _you_ the house warming present if you're the new neighbour and, um, I'm not old enough to drink."

"Details." She says sliding gracefully into a chair. "We've been waiting for you to get up for ages. Pete wanted to come but I thought he'd be too much this early in the morning."

I nod. Way too much.

"I'm surprised you're up this late." She continues. "I'm out of date on all this stuff but shouldn't you be at school?"

"Oh crap!"

"Don't worry." She laughs. "Pete the Impersonator rang in pretending to be your Dad, you've a migraine. Don't make a habit of it though, everybody needs an education."

"Thanks. I've actually got loads to get done this morning. Edward's coming after lunch."

"Cleaning?" She asks with a strange expression on her face.

"Um, yeah, and an essay for a college application."

"Excellent." She says leaning forwards and rubbing her hands together. "I'll let you in on a secret. When I was a human I never, ever, got to do any cleaning and once I was dead I found out I really liked it. I've already done our little house next door from top to bottom, twice, it drives Pete mad. You write the world's best essay and I'll clean the house."

I nod enthusiastically. I'm dutiful about chores but that doesn't mean I like them.

I settle down at the table with my books and find it surprisingly easy to write with a whirling, clattering, singing blonde bombshell doing god knows what all around me.

An hour later our bizarre morning is interrupted by another knock at the door. Char immediately ceases all activity and arranges herself back on the kitchen chair with a disturbingly evil smirk on her face.

"Alice." I gasp as I open the door.

"Hi." She says carefully. "You weren't at school when we went down to enrol so I guessed you'd be here."

"Um, yeah, I slept in. Come in."

Once more I step aside and Alice makes her own way into the kitchen, I shut the door and trail after her.

"Good morning Charlotte." She says stiffly.

"Alice."

Oh, they don't seem to like each other. Awkward.

"Char is helping me with the housework while I get an essay finished."

"She always was very good with a mop and bucket." Alice observes sliding into a vacant chair.

"They've moved in next door."

"So I've noticed."

I have grown accustomed to tense uncomfortable silences, thanks to Rosalie, so I shrug my shoulders and join them at the table.

"I feel like I should offer you both a coffee or something." I mutter as time ticks by.

"I'll make _you_ one sugar." Char offers, getting to her feet and making a great show of tying my ratty old apron around her waist. "I just need to finish scrubbing the floor in the bathroom."

With a wink at me she disappears upstairs and starts singing again.

"I was hoping to have a chance to talk to you alone." Alice says in her light twinkly voice.

"I'm sorry." I shrug helplessly. "Char's helping me."

"Everybody seems to be helping you." She says looking slightly sad.

I don't know what to say to that so I chew my lower lip instead.

"I've missed you." She says. "I am sorry Bella. We should never have left you, we should have tried harder to talk some sense into Edward."

"You never called me." I respond, hating how pathetic my voice sounds. "You never emailed me. I used to write emails to your old address, did you know that? You were my best friend and you just disappeared. You didn't even say goodbye."

"I'm sorry." She says quietly.

"My boyfriend dumped me and I didn't even have my best friend to talk to about it." I sigh.

"He missed you too." She observes, studying me closely.

With a great deal of effort I manage to maintain a pokerface. I don't know why but I feel that whatever my feelings on the subject of Edward are they are very much mine alone at this point.

"I can't see whether or not you will be one of us anymore." She says finally when I don't crack.

"But you did before?" I ask struggling to keep my voice neutral.

"Yes. That or dead." She answers simply. "But now there is some new decision that hasn't been made yet and everything is hazy."

I nod, pretending to understand.

"He really does love you Bella and he _is_ sorry. Please give him another chance."

Again instinct keeps me quiet.

"He's coming at one isn't he?"

"Yes, we agreed lunchtime."

She nods thoughtfully.

"I'll let you get on with your essay then. I expect I will see you later, I hope so anyway."

She rises to her feet and darts out before I can respond.

I sigh and let my head bang down on the table. I really did miss her, as much as him, but somehow I'm only angry at her. Must be a cultural thing, men you expect to let you down and women you expect to help you pick yourself up afterwards. When that doesn't happen apparently it leaves scar tissue.

"You _will _get a headache if you keep doing that." Char observes with a chuckle.

"Why does everything have to be complicated?" I moan.

"You think _this _is complicated?" She laughs. "You poor naïve thing. Just you wait and see how much worse it can get before it gets better."

"You can't see the future as well can you?" I huff, looking at her sideways without lifting my head.

"No. Absolutely not. That's just the voice of experience, love and families are about as twisted up as life can get."

I groan. Once it all seemed so simple. I would spend eternity with the boy I loved, who loved me back, and his perfect close knit family.

Now one of them is a former best friend I'm not sure I can forgive and the one who hated me seems to be the only one who understands me. And I thought divorced parents were difficult.

"Have some coffee and a snack." She suggests, blurring into motion again. "You need to get that essay finished and glam up before Edward gets here."

"I don't really do glam." I mutter sullenly.

"There's more than one way to skin a cat Bella. Your style suits you, you just need to learn to use it to its full advantage."

I smell something brewing and it's not just coffee.


	14. Chapter 14

**Disclaimer: Stephanie Meyer owns all. **

**Rated M for several reasons. **

**Chpt 13 That Didn't Go Well**

**BPOV**

Chores and essay complete Char orchestrates my outfit, jeans and a t-shirt, the artful tousling of my hair and the application of some clear lip gloss.

This is a beauty regime I can buy into even though I stopped wearing these particular clothes a while ago because I thought they were getting too tight.

When I voice this opinion she shoves a cold finger down the front of my jeans and wiggles it about.

"There's plenty of room in here." She decides. "They actually fit you. Most of the stuff you wear is two sizes too big. You have a good figure. Free glamour lesson one. You neither need to hide it nor flaunt it, there is a subtle third way."

I turn slowly in front of the mirror. I don't look like a hussy, therefore maybe I decline to feel like one.

"I'd better go." She announces. "Your man is coming. Are you ready for this?"

I shake my head.

"Talk to him." She advises. "Be honest about how you feel. If what he did hurt you, you're entitled to say so and you shouldn't bury it, it's not healthy."

I nod, suddenly nervous.

With a smile she pats me on the head and disappears down the stairs at vampire speed.

Two seconds later there is a knock at the door.

My beautiful Edward. With flowers.

Smiling I take them and lead the way into the kitchen, he hovers while I put them in water.

"Have you eaten?" He asks.

"Yes. I had something earlier."

He nods.

"Bella . . . ."

"Edward . . . ."

We laugh and the awkwardness dissipates slightly.

"Let's sit down." I suggest leading him through and settling on the couch.

He hovers indecisively for a moment and then lowers himself into Charlie's chair.

I bite back a sigh. There doesn't seem to be a magic wand that puts everything back to normal.

"Alice says you guys have enrolled in school again. Does that mean you're staying?"

"Yes." He nods. "We'll never leave you again Bella. Alice and I start back tomorrow, the others are too old of course. I even managed to get back into the same classes as you."

"So what happens now?"

"Can you forgive me for lying to you and leaving you?"

"I understand why you did it. I don't agree with it, but I understand. You have to promise never to do that again though, no matter how deeply you feel it's the right thing to do. We have to be able to talk things through, together, and decide together." I take a deep breath, Char's words ringing in my head. "You really hurt me Edward, I didn't deserve that, you should have at least told me the truth."

He shifts uncomfortably.

"I was trying to protect you." He explains.

"By hurting me? Making me think you'd lied to me the whole time and never really loved me and then taking away my best friend and your family. All of whom I cared about too?"

"I didn't think it through very well." He admits quietly. "I knew it would hurt you but I thought you would forget me and heal quickly."

A very Rosalie like snort escapes me and I fight back the sudden urge to giggle.

"You had a lot of thoughts about me, us it seems, most of which it never occurred to you to share." I point out quietly.

"I'm so sorry." He murmurs, wringing his hands together.

"You can't ever do that to me again Edward. I love you. It nearly killed me."

His face twists in pain and I instantly regret being so blunt as my heart lurches in response.

"Please, don't, don't be sad. You're here now. We have another chance, a chance to do better."

"I will." He vows. "I will do better. I never want to feel the way I felt when I was away from you again. I was so hollow. I can't, I won't live without you."

Please, the little voice in my head begs, hold me. Tell me everything will be okay.

"What happens now?" He asks tentatively.

"I don't know." I laugh a little. "I'm new to all this. I guess maybe we're supposed to agree to start again, be more honest with each other."

"Fine." He says with a sudden radiant smile. "Would you like to come and see a movie with me tonight in Port Angeles?"

"I'd love to." I groan. "But I've already arranged to go over to Angela's and get my assignments from today."

"Oh." For a moment he looks crestfallen and then he smiles. "Want me to come with you?"

"Um, I'm not sure. We need to find a way to explain why you're all back. It might be too soon."

He nods thoughtfully.

"Then how about tomorrow night?"

"I'd love to." I can't help the big soppy grin that breaks out on my face.

Ask me if you can stay tonight, my little voice begs.

Instead he asks when Charlie is due back.

"I don't know." I reply. "Pete's cover story worked so well it sounds like he might be up there for a couple of weeks, not that there will be any more deaths."

Edward smiles and a familiar warmth spreads through my body. I really am just a horny teenager.

Ask me if you can stay tonight, my little voice begs.

But my romantic hero has already moved onto other things.

"Have you been applying to college?" He asks.

"A few." I shrug. "The ones I can afford."

"You know money isn't a problem, we could go together."

"Money is a problem for me Edward, if you want to attend the same college you're going to have to lower your sights."

"I want you to enjoy every human experience Bella. I don't mind where we go as long as you are happy, but it really wouldn't be a problem for us to help with your tuition."

"_Every_ human experience?" I ask before my brain can stop me.

"Bella." He squirms in his chair. "I can't, you know I can't."

"Do you want to?" I surprise myself by asking.

"Yes. Of course yes."

"Other vampires do." I say quietly, flushing with embarrassment and focussing on my knees.

I can tell from his heavy sigh that he's probably pinching his nose but I daren't look up.

"I'm not a monster." He whispers. "It's too dangerous."

I ponder that for a moment. Rosalie never went into detail on vampire human encounters, maybe there's a logical conclusion there I haven't thought about.

No matter, I don't want to live out my life with only guarded physical affection. This is important to me and I can only see one way around it.

"If we're going to be together then I should be a vampire."

"No. Never."

I risk a glance at his face, that stubborn look I know so well is back, marring his beautiful face.

I study my hands in silence.

My mutinous streak wants to put a stick in the sand right there. No vampire Bella, no relationship, it can never be equal and it can never work. But scaredy Bella, who loves him with her whole heart, is terrified that those words will cause him to leave once and for all.

Impasse.

"Why not?" I ask eventually, without looking up.

"It's wrong." He replies his voice drenched in pain. "It's wrong for me to take away your soul so that I can keep you for ever."

"I don't believe in souls."

"I do."

"So that's it? We'll go with what you believe and what I think doesn't matter?"

"Bella, it isn't like that. I love you."

"So much so you're going to let me die rather than keep me with you forever?"

"Bella, you don't understand." He protests. "When you die I'll be right behind you, I don't want to live in a world without you."

In my head the tiny voice demands to know if he realises how sick and twisted that is.

I take a deep breath but I don't look up, I can't afford to be dazzled by love and beauty at this point.

"What you are basically saying is that you love me so much you're going to sentence us both to certain death?"

"No!"

"What then?"

I feel the couch dip as he sits next to me. Gently he takes my chin and forces my head up to look at him.

Involuntarily I gasp. With the afternoon sunlight streaming in and glittering on his skin he's like some sort of god. Achingly beautiful.

"We can be happy." He whispers. "We can have a long, happy life together."

He leans down and our lips touch, immediately picking up a rhythm of their own, dancing across each other and sending sparks shooting through my body. It feels so right. Without thinking I raise my hands tangling them in his fluid bronze locks. He sighs and I open my mouth automatically to inhale his breath, my tongue darting out to lick at his lip.

Abruptly he stiffens and moves me away from him slightly.

Sorrow wells up inside me, choking the air from my lungs and I close my eyes tightly.

"Bella?" He questions softly. "What's the matter?"

"I need you to leave." I wheeze out as tears threaten.

"What?"

"Please, Ed-Edward. I need you to go, I want to be alone, I need to think."

"Bella, I won't leave you when you're upset." He objects.

I open my eyes and stare at him as desperation engulfs me. I need him out of here, now, before I breakdown. This is mine to have and I want to do it alone, I deserve it.

"Please." I beg. "Leave, I'll call you later."

Catching him by surprise I manage to pull out his embrace and stand.

"Bella, I can't . . . ."

"Just go!" I practically scream through the heaving sobs building inside me.

Out. Out. Out. My inner voice screams. You're breaking my heart. Leave me alone!

Confused and hurt he finally retreats to the door.

"Perhaps I should get Alice to come over?" He offers, pausing with his hand on the knob.

"No!"

With a small nod he lets himself out and closes the door.

Balling my fists I take a very deep breath and bolt the door behind him.

"Pete." I say out loud. "I know you're listening, _please_, make sure he goes."

I remain there breathing deliberately as a scuffle breaks out and then retreats into the distance.

He's never going to change me. He's never going to make love to me. We're never going to enjoy the easy physical closeness I so envy Rose and Char for with their devoted mates. We're going to be two semi-eternal teenagers, kissing chastely and always hovering tantalisingly on the edge of what I really want for myself.

Pain rips through me, threatening to tear me in two, whatever happens now I am never going to be truly happy.

With a sob I collapse to the floor, curling into a tight ball as the misery carries me away.


	15. Chapter 15

**Disclaimer: Stephanie Meyer owns all. **

**Rated M for several reasons. **

**Chpt 14 Going Around in Circles**

**RPOV**

Ah light relief.

The sight of a horrified Ed, sans Volvo, being chased up the drive by a furiously snarling Pete is one I _know_ I will cherish forever.

"What the fuck?" Em gasps, joining me on the porch.

"Language." I chide him indulgently.

Jazz appears from the garage wiping his oily hands on his t-shirt in a way he wouldn't dare if Nosey were here.

"What the fuck?" He enquires.

Ed streaks past him and Jazz snaps his arm out easily catching Pete by the throat and bringing him to an abrupt stop.

"What the fuck?" He repeats.

"The little prick bit me!" Pete howls, drawing Jazz's attention to the venom oozing rip in his shirtsleeve.

"What did you do to him?" Jazz asks calmly.

"Nothin'." Pete replies rubbing his newly released neck. "The little one threw him out of her house an' he wouldn't leave so I applied some reasonable force."

"You'd better go and see if she's okay." Em says quietly. "I'll deal with Edward."

I open my mouth to argue and then close it again. I do want to know what happened and I'll get a better answer out of her than I will Emo Ed.

Char is waiting in Bella's front yard but the house is curiously silent.

"What happened?" I demand.

"They were arguing about him changing her. It went quite for a while and then she freaked and threw him out. She _cried_ Rose, it was horrific."

"Where is she?"

"She walked out and got in her truck a couple of minutes ago. Said she was going to pick up homework."

"Was she okay?"

"Define okay." Char drawls.

Argh! How can one tiny human be so much trouble.

Scenting the air like a bloodhound I start after the distinctive smell of her truck, I'd recognise the way that thing burns its oil anywhere.

And there it is, after a mercifully short pursuit. God she does things to my emotions I really wish she wouldn't. Parked at the kerb outside that Amazonian mousy human's house. Andrea something.

I slip inside and curl up in the footwell, getting dirt all over myself.

After a few minutes she emerges.

"Thanks Angela." She calls back over her shoulder. "I'll see you at school tomorrow."

The driver's door creaks open and she climbs in.

"Hello Rosalie." She greets me calmly.

"Bella." I respond shortly.

"You can get up now. We've turned the corner." She says after a few moments.

Grumbling I haul myself onto the seat and study her face. No zombie Bella but there's something else going on and her eyes are a little red.

"Won't change you huh?" I ask eventually.

"Nope." She answers through gritted teeth.

"Is that a problem?"

"I love him Rosalie but I'm not living out my life like some porcelain doll, devoid of physical contact."

"Which leaves you where exactly?" I ask sensibly if not particularly sensitively.

"Either I live half an existence with him. Or I send him away again and live no life at all."

Ah, the melodrama. She sees things so simply and there's no room in her mind for alternatives.

"Come out on the bikes?" I offer.

"Okay but I don't want to see him yet. I haven't decided what to say to him."

"Fair enough."

I pull my cell out and text Em who promises to keep Emo Ed out of the way while we collect the bikes.

She pulls the truck up in front of the garage and I roll my eyes.

Major Sex on Legs is waiting for us astride his ridiculously masculine bike.

Still, the expression on her face is priceless and even I have to admit he does look good when he escapes Alice's clutches.

I watch with amusement as her eyes travel up his long muscular jean clad legs, across his ludicrously tight oil smeared t-shirt and up to his handsome smirking face.

"Is he, um, coming with us?" She asks in a small voice.

"No." I snap. Over my dead but still twitching body. I don't know what's brought on this sudden interest in Bella but I'm not standing for it.

"Ah Rose." He whines. "We haven't spent any time together for months. And Alice will be back later, don't spoil my fun."

"Bella and I need to talk." I warn him jumping out of the truck. "That means no men."

With a sigh he climbs off his bike, kicking the stand down easily and stretching out his impressively sculpted arms as if they're stiff.

Poor Bella nearly falls out of the truck.

"Stop it." I hiss at him so she can't hear.

He always amuses me. He plods quietly through life, always discreetly in the background, barely even being noticed but when he steps out into the limelight and flexes his charisma he becomes a whole other person.

We don't get to see it very often, obviously, and he doesn't usually do it this close to home. And he'd better damn well stop it now or there'll be hell to pay.

Glaring at him as he lounges casually against the front of Bella's truck, I help her pull the bikes out and don the protective gear Em and I always insist she wears.

With a last curious look at this new, to her, version of Jazz we roar off into the trees. Probably the last time we get to do that across the meadow now Esme's back, so we might as well make the most of it.

I follow her for an hour or so, riding hard and fast while she works out whatever's in her system. Eventually she slows and stops and I hop off my bike and settle on a rock.

"Must you all move so fast." She huffs as she struggles out of her helmet.

I shrug. We are what we are.

"Spit it out." I suggest as she plonks herself down on another rock.

"I don't know what to do." She sighs. "He'll barely even touch me, how can we have a relationship like that?

And if I push him he'll probably just decide it's in my own interests to leave me again, proof that he's dangerous for me.

It would be fairer if he's at least turn me, then we'd be equals."

"Are you sure you love him?" I ask, unable to stop myself from pulling a face.

She laughs briefly.

"Yes Rosalie. I love him."

"How do you know?"

"How does anybody know?" She counters but I stare her down until she speaks again.

"I think about him all the time. At least I did when he was here. My stomach flips over whenever I see him. I dream about him, even when he's not here. I see his face every time I close my eyes and I hear his voice every time it's quiet."

"Sounds more like infatuation to me." I drawl.

"Don't you feel like that about Em?" She asks shyly.

Inwardly I growl. Rosalie does feelings, again.

"Yes and no." I sigh, resigned to my fate. "The irony of the speed with which I met and fell in love with Em is not lost on me considering how annoyed I was at the speed you decided to end your life for Edward. Well, you know the story.

But that love grew after he changed. I didn't want him to die, I still really don't know why, I don't normally care about much except me. And yes, I did feel how you just described in the first place, I guess he did too. But we grew out of it and it grew into real love."

I sigh in exasperation. How to explain?

"I don't think about him all the time and I doubt he does me either. We both have other things that interest us. Family, hobbies, friends. Well, Em has friends, I'm more of a loner.

I miss him when he's not around. It's not just the ache from being away from your mate, I only truly feel safe when Em is with me. He's the only person I trust fully other than myself.

He still makes my stomach flip sometimes, on the rare occasions he isn't annoying the tits off me. To me there is no other man to equal him on the entire planet and there never will be. He must be something special to love me. And in truth I often long for the quiet moments when I can't hear his stupidly loud voice."

She giggles and then gets serious again.

"Maybe Edward and I just need to slow down a bit." She sighs.

"And that fixes anything, how?" I prod.

"It doesn't, I suppose."

"Bella. I'm not an expert on anything that doesn't involve me but it seems to me you are restricting your own options.

If you decide you can't live the way Edward wants you to that doesn't mean your life is over, that you'll never meet anyone and fall in love again.

Em isn't the first man I loved. I had my heart broken, at about your age, and I didn't think I'd ever recover. I did, but that didn't end well either.

In the spirit of honesty my feelings for Em scared the ever loving shit out of me and it's a testament to the man he is that I ever let him anywhere near me, despite not wanting him to die. Now I'm sure nobody else could have made me one tenth as happy."

"I can't imagine loving anyone else." She whispers.

"Don't hate me but I have to point out that you're only eighteen, how would you know?"

She nods dumbly and we lapse into silence. Have I got through? Doubtful.

And her next words confirm it.

"Maybe I can get him to change his mind." She muses.

"About sex or changing you?"

"Both."

"You know that's a classic female thing, right? Thinking you can change the object of your affections. How long do you want to give it? A month, a year, two? At what point would you finally cut your losses, when you're 90?"

"You don't think he _can_ change do you?"

"I've known him a long time and never seen any evidence of it. He's the most inflexible anything I know, I think it's a result of being able to read minds. He's somehow convinced himself it means he knows everything there is to know."

"You don't like him very much do you?" She asks astutely.

"I'm fond of him." I hedge.

"He said Carlisle changed you for him."

"He did. There was slightly more to it than that but he'd found Esme and he was worried about Edward being alone. I represented an opportunity too good to pass up."

"Why didn't he like you?" She asks boldly.

I sigh, considering my words.

"We might have come from roughly the same era but we were worlds apart. We certainly came from different social backgrounds. The Cullens knew me as a human and Ed made no secret of the fact he thought I was an inveterate social climber. The fact he was right didn't make his reaction to me any less repugnant, his manners can be truly appalling.

When I was alive he thought I was beyond the pale. Once I was dead he made even less effort to hide it."

"Did it hurt?" She asks.

"Yes." I answer curtly. "To this day he still believes I resent him for not falling prey to my considerable womanly charms but the real reason I resent him is because he never once gave me a chance to prove there was more to me than what he heard in my head.

I was many things back then but stupid was never one of them. I always knew and my family made sure I did, that the only way for a better life was to marry well. I'd had it impressed on me from an early age, I couldn't get an education and a bunk up the social ladder on my own, I needed the right man. My mother made it my mission in life and as I'm quite a single minded person it was pretty much all I consciously thought about. Ergo, finding the right man and the means to do it were pretty much the only thoughts he ever picked out of my head.

Once I was changed I sussed out the flaws in his little gift quickly but clearly it was in my interests not to enlighten him. His ignorance is not my responsibility."

"Wow." She says quietly.

"I'm not and never was the self-absorbed blonde everyone thinks I am. What I _am_ is intelligent enough to use their misconceptions and prejudices to my advantage. And before you ask, yes, I'm as jealous as hell that you have more opportunities to be the real you than I ever had."

She wraps her arms around her knees and regards them thoughtfully.

"I always knew no one could be as shallow as Edward always said you were." She says eventually without looking up.

A rarely felt sensation of warmth spreads through me. I don't need a gift to know that she's telling the truth.


	16. Chapter 16

**Disclaimer: Stephanie Meyer owns all. But Dire Straits own a bit of this too.**

**Rated M for several reasons. **

**Chpt 15 Back to School**

**BPOV**

By the time Rosalie and I got back I needed to head straight home and get my homework done.

No Edward. Thank god. I don't know what to say to him. Ultimatum? Wait and See? Rosalie's words keep buzzing in my brain. How long? If I wait and hope that he'll change his mind how long do I give it before I'm curled into the foetal position again lamenting my unfulfilled future. Or do I just make an appointment to do it once a month, like an extra hormonal cycle? Bleed, check. Regret life choices, check. Be happy for two weeks, check. Repeat.

A part of me wants to keep quiet and hope for the best but that didn't work out too well last time. I felt I wasn't good enough for him and that he'd get bored and leave me. And he did, but for different reasons.

Argh!

I heat some leftovers and eat them at the kitchen table while I get my schoolwork done. It makes me feel quite virtuous, although I miss Char creating havoc all around me. Tomorrow I need to thank her for cleaning the house, it looks brand new, she should go into business. VampClean, Maidpire or something. I could do the paperwork and calm the freaked out clients.

By ten I'm done. And exhausted.

With a nagging feeling that I've once again forgotten something important I crawl into bed and pass out immediately.

Feeling very grown up without Charlie here I manage to get up and get ready for school in time to have breakfast. Not that I'm exactly awake as I drive to school, I'm in that weird semi coma world where you're trying to remember a dream you're pretty sure you enjoyed but haven't got a clue why.

The sight of Edward waiting patiently by his Volvo blasts the last of the cobwebs away and Dire Straits', Romeo and Juliet takes over, 'Hey la, my boyfriend's back'.

I love that song.

'When you can fall for chains of silver, you can fall for chains of gold. You can fall for pretty strangers, and the promises they hold.'

Oh, yeah, Edward.

Embarrassed I all but fall out of the truck into his waiting arms.

"You didn't call me." He breathes into my hair.

"I'm sorry." I mutter, luxuriating in his embrace. "I was so tired."

"You must have been." He chuckles. "You slept like a log."

I pull away from him, suddenly realising we're in the school parking lot where he hasn't been seen for months and that he's been hanging around outside my window like a vampire bat.

"I, um, we need to get to class."

"Carry your bag?" He offers.

"I've got it." I mutter. It's already slung over my shoulder and some disaster is bound to befall me if I try and take it off.

He walks beside me in silence and I brace myself for all the stares and whispering as we enter the first class together.

I keep my head down, stumbling to my seat and realising too late that there's no way he can sit beside me. With a groan I start unpacking my bag and he moves silently to the only vacant spot in the back.

Bad luck follows us from class to class, keeping us apart. At lunch, and unsure what to do, I sit with my friends as usual watching helplessly as Edward and Alice settle quietly at their old table.

The gossip has broken around my head like a tidal wave but I've mostly just ignored it, body and mind really only conscious of him.

As the morning has worn on he's looked more and more miserable, his face becoming more and more set. I risk a glance at him over my shoulder and he smiles at me but it's a tight, weak smile.

The distraction allows me to answer Jessica's questions in a suitably off hand manner and without flushing up.

No, I didn't know they were coming back. Yes I have spoken to them, apparently Esme didn't like big city living and the hospital never filled Carlisle's post. Yes, I have spoken to Edward. Are we going to get back together? Eloquent shrug a la Rosalie Hale.

Have I seen the new Groundsman? No. Apparently he is tall, blonde and just about the yummiest thing Jessica and Lauren have ever seen. Much better looking than Edward. I snort in response, as if.

First period back is science, the one chance Edward and I will have to sit together since no one ever claimed his vacated place.

With a relived sigh I collapse onto my stool, smiling at Edward as he swoops in beside me.

"Are you alright?" I ask him.

"Yes." He says quietly. "It's just very hard seeing you in everyone's mind, their memories. I'm so sorry."

I wave my hand airly. Its water under the bridge, I was miserable, I got better.

"It's also hard being so close to you and not being able to touch you." He continues in a low voice.

A shiver of warmth runs up and down my spine as I stare into his gold eyes.

"Why were you so upset yesterday? Why wouldn't you talk to me?" He asks quietly, leaning closer.

The start of the lesson saves me from answering and with difficulty I turn away from him to face the front of the class.

I try to listen to the instructions for the lab test we're about to do but his nearness is too distracting. If I flick out my finger I could trace the hard muscles on his arm.

"Are we still going to Port Angeles this evening?" He asks as he sets up the microscope.

"Oh. I hadn't thought about it." I answer truthfully.

With great concentration he turns his attention to examining the slide.

"I think it would probably be better if we talked tonight instead." I offer as I take the microscope from him for my slide.

"Okay." He answers carefully after a moment's pause.

Great. All I need now is to know what to say.

"Would you mind if I came over to yours?" I ask.

"No. Of course not." He sounds surprised.

"Thanks." It's not exactly neutral territory but if it gets too much at least I can leave, I feel bad for setting Pete on him yesterday, he was only trying to do what he thought was right. As usual. If only he wasn't so rigid about it.

Involuntarily I sigh as I push the microscope back to him.

"Are you alright?" He asks in a concerned voice.

I nod. That seems to be about the sum total of our conversation at the moment and I suppose it isn't any wonder, neither of us is alright. I sigh again, such a mess.

The rest of the day drags by, Edward and I tentative with each other and exchanging the occasional wry smile in acknowledgement.

This isn't what I dreamed about when I was fantasising about him coming back for me. I dreamt of us falling helplessly into each other's arms, kissing passionately and merging together into the 'whole' we were always supposed to be. I'll be honest, my dreams wandered daringly into the unknown, to me, realms of how a man and a woman truly show they love each other.

Hello tragic let down. Dispiritedly I realise that in reality not everything can be fixed by the magic three little words. Love apparently does not conquer all.

Oh get a grip Swan. He's only been back a day. Yeah, but what if he's back a hundred days and nothing changes?

And there it is again.

I stop dead in the hall as the other students swirl around me. Nothing has changed and nothing is going to change. With a strangled sob I push through the heaving masses and rush to the cloakroom for another mini breakdown.

Of course I don't get very far before I'm interrupted. Nosey, sorry Alice.

"Bella?" She asks tentatively. "Are you alright?"

"I'm . . . . f-fine."

"You're crying."

"Y-yes . . . ."

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"No . . . . Please, just tell Ed-Edward I'll be over later."

"He's worried about you, he won't leave."

"Make him leave Alice, _please._"

"Are you sure?"

Jeez, yes I'm fucking sure!

Despite not saying the words out loud I clap my hand over my mouth in horror and nod.

Oh.

"Yes, I'm sure. Please."

"Okay then. I'll see you later."

"Later."

The door swings shut behind her and I let myself go.

Just as the sobs are subsiding the outer door wheezes open again and someone starts making use of the mirror and their makeup bag.

Gritting my teeth I wipe my eyes and let myself out of the stall.

Jessica greets me with a happy smile.

"Bella, I didn't realise you were in here." She says artlessly. "What's the matter with you?"

I regard her eager little face in silence for a moment before some of the rage I'm suppressing breaks free and takes control of my mouth.

"Like you'd fucking know." I snarl and barge out.

Anger carries me to my truck and most of the way home before shame takes over. Oh my god, I swore, at Jessica. I'm not dumb enough to think she actually cared whether or not I was upset, she was just after the gossip, but jeez. What's wrong with me?

The answer, apparently, is parked outside my house. Because the sight of his unhappy face sends my anger levels skywards.

"I told Alice to tell you I'd see you at your house later." I growl.

"I'm worried about you." He says simply, moving forward and attempting to put his arm on mine.

I shake him off. But only because he lets me.

"Fine." I snap. "Worry about me at home and I will be over later."

"Bella . . . ."

"You heard the lady ya little biter." Pete drawls from his porch.

"This has nothing to do with you!" Edward protests.

"Please Edward, go home, give me a couple of hours and I'll come over."

He watches my face for a moment and then nods briefly, turning and folding himself into his car before speeding away.

"Biter?" I ask Pete.

"Fucker bit me when I shooed him away for you yesterday."

"Oh my god, Pete, I'm so sorry!"

"Don't worry Bella." Char drawls emerging from his shadow. "He's had worse."

"But I, I mean, that's awful."

"Nah." Pete chuckles. "It was nothin'. J nearly breakin' my neck was a lot more painful trust me."

"Um."

He laughs.

"Go on about ya business little one. We've got your back."

Unsure I fidget and tangle my sneakered feet.

"Want some help getting ready for your show down?" Char asks.

I nod and she hops off the porch and sashays over to me.

"Come on then, I'll make you some dinner as well. I never used to get to cook either so I'm warning you it might not be edible."

"My cooking's not great either." I mutter as we enter the house.

"Cool." She says easily. "Then you won't be disappointed."

I'm not. It turns out she can reheat a mean leftover.

"Bella Barbie?" I ask with resignation when I'm done eating.

"What?" She splutters.

"Alice used to like to dress me up. You know, skirts, makeup, dresses and stuff."

"You don't strike me as the dress type." She snorts.

"Well I'm not really, but she used to enjoy it and some of the stuff she got me was really nice."

"And she was your best friend?" Char asks.

"Um yeah."

"Oh Bella." She sighs. "You've been screwed over on every side haven't you?"

I blink, not understanding.

"Never mind." She says breezily. "You wash up and I'll rifle your wardrobe for glamour lesson number two."

"You won't find much and why do I need to get dressed up?" I sigh. "This whole night is going to end with me in bits, I can tell."

"You're not going to be 'dressed up'." She huffs. "You're going to feel beautiful and worthwhile and confident enough to stand up for yourself."

I snort and she laughs.

"You know that being strong and being able to stick up for yourself doesn't automatically mean you have to be a Rosalie clone, right?"

"She does okay." I observe.

"Yes she does." Char responds. "But she's kind of unique. Her way doesn't suit everyone. Growing up is about working out who you are and then learning to be happy with it."

"I haven't got a clue." I admit.

"Bella, you're eighteen. I think that just means your normal. Now, get on with your chores and I'll see you upstairs in a minute."


	17. Chapter 17

**Disclaimer: Stephanie Meyer owns all.**

**Rated M for several reasons. **

**Chpt 16 Line in the Sand**

**BPOV**

Upstairs Char perches me on the edge of the bed and does my hair, how someone with such enviably smooth straight hair can be so good with my unruly mop is a mystery to me.

She helps me do my light makeup and then a shifty expression appears on her face.

Reaching across to the other side of my bed she produces a bag and withdraws a pair of dark brown knee high leather boots.

"Before you say anything I know you don't like people spending money on you, Rose told me. They weren't expensive and they were so _you_ I couldn't resist them. If I promise not to make a habit of it will you take them?"

I hesitate for a moment looking at the soft supple leather, I think she and I have very different ideas on what constitutes expensive. They _are_ beautiful and the heel is low enough that even I could remain upright.

Without thinking I stretch my hand out to feel them.

"Try them on?" She urges. "They'll complete the look."

"Can I pay you for them?" I ask, stroking them and mentally kissing goodbye to another chunk of my college fund.

"If it makes you feel better." She shrugs.

I sit down on the bed and pull them on, they fit perfectly and they're so comfortable it's like wearing sneakers.

Standing I move in front of the mirror to study the dark haired girl looking back at me.

Lightly tousled hair frames my face which has more color than usual thanks to Char's blusher advice. My eyes are lightly ringed with brown kohl and my lips are slightly rosy from the tinted lip gloss I didn't know I had.

The t-shirt fits snugly around my bust and then flares out skimming my push up bra Renee gave me ages ago has indeed pushed up and suddenly I've got cleavage, just peeking out at the neckline and far more chaste than most girls show at school. The tight jeans show off my legs to perfection and the boots complete the look with a much needed illusion of height. I hate being short, Charlie and Renee aren't short, how did I luck out?

I look, well I look a bit hot!

And despite the subtly of the changes very, very different. My face falls.

"What's wrong?" Char asks.

"I look older."

"I thought most girls your age wanted to look older."

"I look older than Edward."

"Bella, you _are_ older than Edward."

I growl feeling the anger building again. Yes I am, and whose fault is that?

"Do you want a glass of wine before you go?" Char offers suddenly.

"I can't. I'm too young and I have to drive." I'm a cop's daughter, the response is automatic.

She makes a very unladylike snort and starts dragging me downstairs.

"One glass isn't going to kill you and Pete will drive you, he and J have got some man stuff planned for tonight."

"I want to be able to leave when I need to." I hedge.

"Excellent." She grins, shoving me into a chair. "J and Pete can get into an awful lot of trouble, this way he can't stay out all night because he's got to bring you home."

"You're a devious vampire." I laugh.

"No, I'm a devious _woman_. I only pull out the vampire card when he's been really naughty."

"What happens then?" I have to ask.

"Then I rip off parts his anatomy and hide them until I've calmed down."

"Oh."

She laughs and places the world's smallest glass of white wine in front of me.

I take a tentative sip although Renee used to let me have a glass sometimes I was never a fan.

"Wow." This stuff is amazing and I take a bigger sip this time.

"Nice?" She asks with a sigh. "A really good wine is one of the things I miss most about being a human. My daddy used to collect it and he taught me to appreciate it."

I nod and drink the rest of it slowly while Char watches me wistfully with her elbows on the table and her head resting in her hands.

Fired up with a good dose of Dutch courage Char loads me into Pete's monstrous great truck and sends me on my way.

"You look good little one." Pete chuckles as we roll through town. "Very grown up, the boy wonder would be a fool to turn you down lookin' like that."

I can feel my stupid face flushing up since it has occurred to me to try my hand at a little seduction.

"Ah now, don't be embarrassed." He says pretending to concentrate on the road. "All's fair in love an' war. An' if he doesn't appreciate your new look I know someone who will."

"I don't want anyone else."

"What?" He gasps in mock surprise. "A good lookin' girl like yourself, surely you're not thinkin' of settlin' for the first boy that makes you an offer?"

"He hasn't offered me anything." I respond without thinking.

He whistles.

"What?" I snarl.

"Girl, you got real low expectations."

"Humph."

We ride the rest of the way in silence punctuated by Pete's occasional chortles of laughter. I'm glad my love life is amusing someone.

The downside of going to the Cullen's is immediately obvious as everyone is gathered on the steps to greet us.

"Must be for you little one." Pete whispers to me as we pull up. "They usually only gather like that when I'm leavin'."

With vampire speed he gets out and whips around to help me down.

"Don't take any shit from him." He says with a wink and deliberately loud enough that Rosalie giggles and Edward growls.

Edward darts across the drive and takes my hand, leading me away from Pete as fast as he can.

"Right J." Pete drawls as he saunters after us. "I'm on chauffer duty tonight so let's get started I don't wanna keep the little one waitin' when she's done."

"I can drive you home." Edward offers as we climb the steps.

"Its fine Edward, he lives right next door and I promised Char to have him home at a reasonable time."

"Women." Pete mutters pushing past us and prising Jasper away from a sour faced Alice.

"Looking hot Bells." Em greets me with a hug.

"You do look good." Rosalie agrees. "The cream works then?"

"Yep. No lighthouse Bella."

I get a quick hug from Esme and a pat on the back from Carlisle as Edward eases me past them.

"Shall we go up to my room?" He asks.

I nod and follow him upstairs mentally girding my loins.

**RPOV**

Char has already reported in when Pete's oversize truck delivers Bella to our door. Carlisle said I couldn't fill the void, not that I couldn't solicit someone else to do it, Char doesn't mind, she likes Bella too. I have to hand it to her, Bella looks hot, but innocently oblivious. Maybe we'll need to discuss her motivations.

Ed hurries her upstairs and devious undead to the core, most of us follow, despite Esme clucking in disapproval. Like we ever take any notice of her when we know she's just jealous her position of Mom means she can't do something. Poor Esme's not much 'older' than I am.

Jazz takes the lead, he's our best 'creeper' and the rest of us follow, a highly amused Pete bringing up the rear. When Jazz is just outside Edward's closed door he holds up his fist and we all stop, lined up against the wall. Jazz, me, Em, Alice, Carlisle and Pete. Welcome to the Cullens, where privacy is just an illusion.

Edward, who knows the drill, puts his music on. Bella, who doesn't, turns it down so she can hear herself think.

"I'm glad you are here." He breathes.

Argh! I bet he's wafting his sanctimonious breath in her face as he says it.

Em clamps his hand down on my shoulder. Grateful I pat it absently.

"Um." She replies.

"Have you been drinking?" He asks sounding more like her father than her boyfriend.

"I had a glass of wine with Char earlier." She responds easily.

"Bella, you need to be careful with the Whitlocks, they're not like us."

"I know." I can hear her shrug. "They told me everything."

Silence, I bet that screwed with the Ed Head and he's delving into ours right this minute.

Then he growls.

Yeah, I broadcast loud and clear. He told her _everything_, every _little_ thing, and she took it like the woman she is. She's too good for you.

Another growl.

"You're mad at me aren't you?" He asks finally, resigned to the fact we're all listening.

"Yes." She says in a small voice. "I'm sorry but I am. It took me a while to realise it, but now I can't make it go away."

"Tell me, please." He begs. "I want everything to be right between us."

She sighs heavily and his self-consciously trendy couch squeaks as she sits down.

"Please Edward, sit down, I can't do this with you pacing around like a caged lion."

Another squeak and Bella sighs, this time with happiness.

Oh god I bet he's breathing on her again, he's like a fucking cave man, does he think he can dazzle her into submission forever?

Her heart rate accelerates. Oh god, what's he doing?

Jazz's shoulders start shaking with silent laughter and I have to fight back the urge to punch him in the kidneys.

If it were anyone else but Ed we'd all be leaving now, some things really are private, but since we all know he'll stop before anything interesting happens we wait in eager anticipation.

She groans.

The couch creaks.

She gasps and her heartbeat takes off like a helicopter.

"I'll tell you one reason why I'm mad at you, this, right here." She growls.

"Bella . . . ."

"No Edward, we need to get all this out in the open and I won't be able to do that if you keep interrupting me. Please, just let me talk."

Silence.

Go on Bella, tell him to go boil his head.

Her breathing steadies.

"I am angry with you because you treated me like a child. I know I'm very young compared to you and it must be hard but I am not a child and you had no right to make decisions that would affect both of us without consulting me."

"You're right, I'm sorry." He sounds suitably chastened.

"I'm also angry because you came back. I was miserable Edward, I was miserable without you but I was moving on and I was coping, starting to consider other options in my life. All I wanted was for you to be here and now you are I'm not happy and I thought I would be. It's confusing me."

Ouch Ed, that must sting. I broadcast with just the right amount of malicious glee.

"But what really makes me angry is that we're not equals and if you have your way we never will be."

"Bella . . . ." Ah, the extra breathiness of persuasion. Prick

"No Edward. Take this, now. You're using your superior strength to keep me here when I want to stand up. It isn't right."

The couch creaks and she starts pacing around his floor.

Neither of them speaks for an age.

"Edward." She says suddenly. "Unless you are going to let me become a vampire I don't see a future for us."

"Bella, you know why . . . ."

"I don't _care_ Edward." She snaps and pride fills me with warmth. "I am not prepared to live out my life, aging and becoming infirm while you stay the same. It isn't fair of you to ask it of me.

Leaving aside the fact that you might not love me when I'm old and wrinkly . . . ."

A pause, the Ed Head was obviously about to say something suitably gooey and romantic but she's stopped him somehow.

"I will _never_ be satisfied with chaste kisses and the occasional pass at my collar bones. I want more. Either you give me more or, as much as it hurts me, I can't see where this relationship is going."

"I love you." He blurts out.

"And I love you. But this, this is shit."

Emo Ed and the 'eavesdropping in the hallway gang' all gasp. Bad language too? I roll my eyes, Em's going to blame me for that.

"You hold all the power in this relationship." She continues. "The power to keep me in place when you want to, the power to withhold information and the power of life and death. I don't want to live my life like that. So if you want me, if you love me, change me!"

"I can't." He chokes out.

We plaster ourselves against the wall as Valkyrie Bella flings open the door and strides down the hall in her new boots, kohled eyes burning with unshed tears.

Major Impulse Control turns after her like a filing after a magnet but Em and I manage to snag his Gucci shirt and hold him in place before Nosey realises.

"Bella . . . ." Esme's voice is tinged with pain, she's heard most of their conversation.

"I can't Esme, I'm sorry, I can't do this right now."

Her heels click round to the garage and her bike starts up.

"No!" Ed roars and we plaster ourselves to the wall again as he blasts past but this time we follow.

"You haven't got a crash helmet." He howls as she 'walks' the bike out onto the drive.

"I'm a human Edward." She points out, tossing her hair back over her shoulder. "I'll either make it home in one piece or I won't, that's how it works."

Jazz grabs Ed before he can pull Bella from her bike and we watch as she roars off down the drive, Pete shadowing her in the trees.

When she's out of sight Jazz releases him and Ed turns to me with murder in his eyes.

"_You_." He accuses as he leaps for me.


	18. Chapter 18

**Disclaimer: Stephanie Meyer owns all.**

**Rated M for several reasons. **

**Chpt 17 Opening Doors**

**BPOV**

Char is waiting on my porch.

"Rose called." She says simply, following me inside.

"I drew a line in the sand." I sigh ruefully as I collapse into one of the kitchen chairs.

"You sure did." She chuckles, placing another small glass of wine in front of me.

For once I'm grateful that vampires usually don't need to have a conversation repeated.

I take a sip at the wine and stare out into the dark yard.

I cried myself out on the ride home and now I feel numb. I did it. I gave him an ultimatum he won't accept and now I'm going to lose him again. All of them probably although it's really only Rosalie, Em, Pete and Char who will leave a fresh gap in my life.

Char watches me sip my drink in silence.

"What do you think he'll do?" I ask her eventually.

"I don't know him very well Bella, he's always been pretty aloof. J's spoken about him a few times, Edward irritates him for some reason, always has. If he's any sense he'll take the time to think about what you've asked for properly and who knows, maybe he'll make the right choice."

"What do you think is the right choice?" I'm curious, Char has rarely expressed an opinion on any of this _drama_ going on around her.

"For him or for you?" She asks.

I shrug.

"I can't speak for him, like I said I hardly know him." She sighs watching my face carefully. "But you need to think about what you're going to say if he turns up here tomorrow morning offering to turn you on the spot."

My blood runs cold.

I'll be honest I hadn't really thought this through past my expectation that he'd refuse and I'd be heartbroken. What will actually happen if he changes his mind? Horrified I realise that the only outcome I can imagine at the moment is me running screaming in the other direction.

She laughs at the expression on my face.

"Why don't you go and soak in the tub for a bit?" She suggests. "You're not looking your best at the moment."

I rise and look in the mirror, managing a weak laugh. I look like a 1970s glam rock star. The wind has spread my tears, and the kohl, out from my eyes in a star pattern and a stork could make a mighty good nest in my hair.

"Thanks for looking out for me." I mutter.

"That's what friends are for Bella. You'd do the same for any of us."

I nod and she gets up to leave.

I can't stop the pathetic whimper that escapes me.

"I can stay if you want?" She offers with a warm smile. "J and Pete can have some quality male bonding time and you and I can hang out in our pyjamas and eat chocolate. Well, you can eat, and I can watch."

"I haven't got any chocolate."

With a guilty smirk she dips her hand into her purse and withdraws several large bars.

Smiling gratefully I traipse upstairs and opt for a shower, wincing as I remove the knots from my motorcycle hair.

Back downstairs I find Char stretched out on the floor in a huge nest of cushions, most of which I don't recognise.

"Sit down Bella." She invites, patting the floor next to her. "And let me have the pleasure of watching you eat chocolate."

We talk for hours, well I do. Char mostly listens, which must be boring because I'm basically going over the same ground over and over again.

Why won't he change me? Why can't I have what I want? Why won't he let me be happy? Why am I so angry with him when I should just be glad he's back? Why do I love him so much and why doesn't he love me enough? What if I can never forgive him for abandoning me and making feel worthless? Do I really want to spend eternity resenting him for being the reason I can't die?

He's not the only thing we talk about but he always seems to be where we end up.

"I'm sorry." I finally squeak out around a huge yawn. "I must be boring you to death."

"I'll live." She drawls. "You'd better get to bed, you've got school tomorrow."

I groan. More school. More staring, more gossip. Probably an outraged Jessica. And what if there's no Edward?

I bid her goodnight and crawl into my bed, too tired to cry.

The next morning I get ready for school on autopilot my head stuffed with cotton wool and miserable thoughts.

My truck won't start.

As I stare at it uselessly wondering what to do Pete's monster truck pulls up beside me.

"Need a lift little one?" He offers.

Mutely I nod and climb up into his truck.

"I'm not taking you away from anything am I?"

"Nah. I'm on my way to work."

"You have a job?" I gasp in surprise.

"Yep. Groundskeeper Petey, that's me."

I laugh, a proper laugh, the identity of Jessica's hot blonde no longer a mystery. She'll have a fit if she sees me arrive at school in his truck.

"I think you'd better drop me off around the corner. I'm in enough trouble with the girls at school already after yesterday."

"No can do little one. Peter Prefect always delivers his ladies directly to the door."

Mute with embarrassment I keep my eyes trained straight ahead as Pete's highly conspicuous truck picks its way through the early morning mass of students and stops rakishly at the bottom of the entrance steps.

"Thanks." I growl as I let myself out.

"No problem." He chuckles.

So red I must be glowing like a beacon I turn and start up the steps.

"Hey darlin'!" He hollers after me, voice no longer soft and quiet. "Ya forgot my mornin' hug!"

Head down I soldier on.

First period. No Edward.

It hurts a little but I wasn't really expecting to see him anyway. What hurts more is the suspicion that they've all packed up and left with him. Without saying goodbye.

When I spot Alice in the cafeteria at lunch I'm so relieved I forget I'm mad at her and hurry over with my tray.

"Hi." She says guardedly.

"Hi." I flop down in the seat next her.

"Well." She says after a moment. "I didn't see that one coming."

"I'm really sorry." I mutter. "It was a snap decision. He kissed me and then pulled away again like he always does. It was too much."

"I'll bet." She says drily. "You've certainly given him something to think about."

"Where is he?"

"Out in the woods sulking. Carlisle's with him."

"Is he alright?" I ask tentatively, hating that I've hurt him.

"As well as can be expected. He needs to really think about how what he wants is actually going to affect you. He loves you Bella, I'm sure he'll come to the right decision eventually."

"Can you see what he'll decide?"

"No." She shakes her head sadly. "Everything between the two of you is still very murky."

I sigh.

"I thought you'd all leave again after last night."

She pats my hand.

"Have a little faith." She says with a smile. "I still want you as my sister and Edward loves you. He'll get with the program in the end because he can't live without you."

I nod and pick dispiritedly at my lunch.

"Do you want to come shopping with me after school?"

"I can't, I'm sorry, my truck's died again and I need Rosalie's help."

"Oh." She says happily. "No problem, I'll bring her back to yours after school and she can take a look at it while we go into Port Angeles."

"Um, we'll see." I hedge.

The rest of the day passes uneventfully considering the whole school is staring at me and talking about me. Math was awkward, I sit next to Jessica who isn't talking to me, for obvious reasons.

Just before final period I get a text from Rosalie.

_Nosey told me about truck. It's at our place. Come back with her after school. Will protect from shopping if required. Ed won't be here._

I smile.

_Okay, thanks._

The drive out to the house is pleasant enough, Alice talks and I pretend to listen, just like old times.

When we arrive I hurry into the garage to get the verdict on my truck but it isn't there. Instead I find a pair of cowboy booted legs poking out from under a Ford Mustang.

"Jazz." Alice sighs. "Do you have to wear those god awful old boots."

"They're comfortable Alice." He responds easily. "Afternoon Bella."

"Hi." I greet his legs. "Where's Rosalie?"

"She and Em have just taken your truck for a test drive, they'll be back soon."

"Oh great, it's still alive then." I address the legs.

"Just about." He drawls.

"I'll go and get changed." Alice announces darting into the house.

"Hand me that torque wrench please Bella?" Jasper asks.

Proud of myself for knowing what he's talking about I hunker down and offer it to him.

"Thanks darlin'." He drawls.

"Is everyone in this family a mechanic?" I ask as I straighten up.

"Pretty much." His disembodied voice answers. "You learn all sorts of skills when you don't sleep anymore. Rose says you're learning too."

"Yeah, she said if I was going to drive an antique I had a responsibility to look after it."

He laughs, a rich deep sound, I don't think I've ever heard him laugh before.

"Sounds like Blondie." He chuckles. "Mechanical monsters before people."

"Where is everyone?" I ask aware that this is our longest ever conversation.

"Carlisle is out with the Ed Head, trying to talk some sense into him I guess and Esme's gone to Seattle with Char."

"Is this your car?"

"It was." He chuckles. "I lost it to Pete in a poker game a while back."

"You play poker?" I ask, surprised. When he's not trying to drain me he's the quietest most studious vampire I know.

"I've got all the vices darlin'."

I flush with embarrassment suddenly recalling Pete's explanation of Jasper's early 'life'.

The car lifts up suddenly and Jasper emerges grinning and setting it down gently behind him.

"I think she's ready for a test drive, want to come?"

"I . . . ."

"We're going shopping Jazz." Alice objects emerging from the house. "Bella doesn't want to get involved in your smelly old cars."

I look down at Jasper, whose still stretched out on the floor of the garage, goodness there's a lot of him I've never noticed how tall and broad he is before.

I turn to Alice resigned to going to Port Angeles when my saviour suddenly trundles down the drive. She's never looked so beautiful and my truck doesn't look bad either.

"Alice." Rosalie growls as she hops out. "You know Bella hates shopping, why are you always trying to force her into it?"

"I'm not." Alice huffs. "She can always say no. Besides you know as well as I do that her wardrobe should consist of more than just skinny jeans."

"Skinny jeans suit her." Rosalie observes.

Jasper smirks up at me and winks.

"Bella do you want to come shopping or not?" Alice demands.

Feeling guilty I shake my head.

"Fine." She snaps. "Jazz get changed, you'll have to come."

"Thanks a lot Blondie." Jasper growls quietly at Rosalie as he ambles past her.

As soon as they're out of sight Em starts laughing.

"Poor Jazz." He snorts. "His thumb print's bigger than mine."

"You keep believing that Em." Rosalie smirks patting his huge shoulder. "Come on Bella, I'll show you what I did to the truck."

We spend the next couple of hours tinkering around with the engine until Em gets a text.

"Carlisle and Edward are on their way home." He says looking up at me curiously. "What do you want to do?"

I freeze. I don't know. I want to see him but I'm not sure I'm ready.

"Does he know I'm here?" I hedge.

"No." He shrugs. "I haven't told Carlisle and Edward and I aren't speaking at the moment."

"Why not?" I ask without thinking.

"Because after you left last night Emo Ed blamed _me_ for the problems in your relationship." Rosalie snarls. "And he wasn't very nice about it."

"Oh my god, I'm so sorry, what happened?" I gasp in horror, realising that I'm still mucking up their perfect lives.

"The Ed Head tried to jump Rose." Em answers with a scowl. "I managed to get hold of him and he went for me instead. Jazz had to break us apart. Carlisle read Ed the riot act and dragged him off to hunt."

"I'm nothing but trouble." I mutter.

"No you're not." Rosalie says firmly. "You're entitled to stick up for yourself and we're entitled to choose to stand with you when you do. And Ed's entitled to grow the hell up."

"If he, if we . . . . will you?" Oh hell, even I don't know what I'm trying to ask.

"Very eloquent." She snorts.

"Babe." Em growls.

"Fine." She huffs fixing her golden eyes on me. "If he runs away again we'll stay, if you want us to, at least until graduation and you know what you're doing with your life."

"Even if the others leave?" I ask, heart swelling with hope.

"Yes. Even if the others leave." She pledges.

We smile at each other.

"Bella." Edward's voice interrupts our warm fluffy moment.


	19. Chapter 19

**Disclaimer: Stephanie Meyer owns all.**

**Rated M for several reasons. **

**Chpt 18 The Fatherly Foot**

**BPOV**

"Can I talk to you?" He asks.

"Okay." I don't have it in me to refuse.

The others melt away, beckoned by Carlisle.

I shift uncomfortably, caught out perched cross legged on the hood of Pete's Mustang.

"Bella." He begins, hovering in front of the car. "I'm sorry that my actions have brought us to this point.

I am not sure I can give you what you want. I mean, I want to, I really do but it's hard for me. It's wrong. Wrong to take your life away just so that I can be happy, even if you say that's what you want.

And the other things that you want. I'll be honest they terrify me while you're a human. You know how your blood appeals to me, I couldn't live with myself if I did anything to hurt you."

"Oh Edward." I sigh, hopping off the hood and into his waiting arms.

"I need some time to think." He breathes into my hair.

"What happens now?" I ask.

"I'd like to see you, be your friend." He offers. "While we think things through. It's a big decision for you too, if I could even consider it I would need to know you were totally sure."

I pull back and gaze into his gold eyes.

"I love you." I assure him.

"And I love you." He responds, cold lips descending to mine.

I will myself into stillness as our lips find their familiar rhythm, my hands resting lightly against his stone chest as his pull my upper body closer. I lose all track of time, totally absorbed in the kiss until he realises my need to breathe and eases me away from him.

"Until next time." He says quietly, pressing his lips against my forehead and darting into the house.

On wobbly legs I heave myself into the truck and drive home. Failing to notice absolutely everything.

Still away with the faeries I let myself into the house and almost have a heart attack when I run into Charlie, standing in the hall with his arms folded across his chest.

"Imagine my surprise." He says dryly. "When I get back to Forks and find that my shy, retiring, dutiful, recently heartbroken daughter has been gallivanting all over town with a whole host of unsuitable companions. Ranging from that appalling Cullen boy to the new groundsman from the high school.

Motorcycles were also mentioned Bella but for the time being I am going to assume that particular gossip was deliberately trying to cause trouble."

"Ah, um. I, er . . . ."

"I can see you need some time to think about it." He says, supressing a smile. "I have to go into the station for a couple of hours to get caught up on the paperwork. I will see you back here later."

I nod.

"And Bella, you are not to leave the house until I return. You may however take that bottle of wine in the fridge out to the trash."

"Yes Ch-Dad."

He strides past me and closes the door behind him with a heavy click.

Oops. Busted.

I take a quick swig of the wine and then regretfully pour the rest down the sink with a mental apology to Char.

Then I whip out my cell and text Rosalie.

_Charlie's home._

_I know. Esme saw him when she was driving back with Char. Okay?_

_I'm in big trouble. What do I tell him about our new neighbors?_

_Leave that to Pete, he was born to lie._

_And the rest?_

_Give him the party line. Carlisle will drop by to see him tomorrow._

_Okay. Still don't think I'm trouble?_

_At least you're entertaining._

_Thanks._

_Hey. I'm nothing if not honest. Em says not to let Charlie shoot Ed._

_Okay._

I giggle. Somehow her last comment does not seem that farfetched. Charlie's opinion of Edward is even lower than hers.

My cell beeps again, Char.

_Peter Perfect and I will be around later, we'll know when. Just play along and act surprised._

With a happy sigh I decide to take a shower. Edward loves me and is really trying and I have friends, friends and a Rosalie, who will stand by me.

Unfortunately, I realise an hour later, angry dad I will have to face alone.

"Explain." He orders good naturedly as he settles into his chair with a beer. There's an expectant air about him, kind of like he gets when a game is about to start.

"Um, what?"

"Nice try Bells, I've been in the force for over twenty years. I've got all night, I can wait."

"Did you catch your serial killer?"

"No. But I've caught you, so fess up."

"Um, the Cullens are back. Esme didn't like living in the city."

He nods, that makes total sense to him.

"Your boy too?"

"Yes."

"Do I need to shoot him?"

"No!" I gasp. "We're not seeing each other at the moment."

"Why not?" He asks taking a swig of his beer.

"Well I'm kind of mad at him, for how he broke it off with me."

He nods in approval.

"He wants us to get back together but I'm not sure."

"I wouldn't worry about it Bells. He's not coming anywhere near you for the foreseeable future."

I nod. He hasn't said grounded yet. It could be worse.

"The new groundskeeper?" He asks.

"He's our neighbour. I'm friends with his wife."

"Aren't they a little old for you?"

"Not really and they're nice, they've sort of been taking care of me while you were away and Peter's been repelling Edward." Surprisingly I'd rather be banned from seeing Edward than Pete and Char.

"Humph." He responds taking another swig of his beer and inspecting the empty can with narrowed eyes.

Highly motivated I fetch him another.

"Motorcycles?" He asks darkly.

"Um, well, I have been on one."

"With suitable protective equipment?"

"Yes, yes, of course."

"And who introduced you to motorcycles?"

"Emmett." Instinctively I don't mention Rosalie, I don't want to be banned from seeing her.

"One of the Cullen kids?"

I nod.

"Bella, I . . . ."

A knock at the door saves me and I rush to open it.

Pete and Char are on the porch grinning like loons.

"Is Charlie home?" Pete asks with a wink.

"Um, yeah. Come in."

I open the door wide and Pete leads Char into the living room.

"Chief Swan?" He asks as Charlie rises to his feet. "My name's Pete Whitlock, the wife Charlotte and I moved in next door a few days ago."

They shake hands.

"Nice to meet you Pete." Charlie responds looking the vampire up and down.

"You too Sir, Bella's told us a lot about you."

"I bet she has." Charlie drawls. "Take a seat. So how come you're working at the high school?"

"Char and I are travelling around, we've got married after she graduated last year, we're tracing her family history and we found some leads to the Olympic Peninsula so we decided to come here for a while."

"Doesn't sound very settled." Charlie huffs.

"I want to start college in the fall." Char interjects. "I'm only nineteen and I've got some money my parents left me. In the meantime we thought we'd see as much of the country as possible."

"Forks." Charlie snorts.

"Yeah Forks." Pete laughs softly and he and Charlie exchange understanding glances.

"You've met Edward Cullen I hear?" Charlie asks.

"Yes sir. I'll be honest Char and I don't like him much, he looks shifty."

Charlie snorts with laughter. "There's no need to suck up son."

"Right." Pete laughs and draws Char closer into his side.

"If you'll excuse me I've got homework to do." I mutter.

"I'm not done with you Bells." Charlie informs me. "We'll talk over breakfast."

"Okay. Night Pete, night Char."

I retreat upstairs, where I can giggle in private, and get ready for bed. The background hum of their voices as they continue to talk downstairs lulls me off into a deep sleep.

I wake up the next morning in a strange mood, pensive about my further talk with Charlie and mildly freaked out by the erotic nature of my dreams. Not an entirely new thing since I met Edward but the first time they haven't actually starred _him_.

Downstairs Charlie watches my uncoordinated movements in an amusement as I make myself some cereal.

"So." He begins when I'm sat down and chewing methodically. "Pete and Char seem nice, although I can guess where the wine came from now. I know your mother let you drink wine occasionally so I'm not going to ban you. But so help me if you ever come home intoxicated you _will_ spend the night in the cells, do you understand me Bella?"

"Yes dad."

"Humph." He takes a sip of his coffee. "Motorcycles are dangerous and stupid. Never let me find out you've been on one again."

"Okay dad."

"Edward Cullen."

I sigh and put my spoon back in the bowl, appetite gone.

"I only know what you told me about how he left." He says staring me down and making me fidget uncomfortably. "But what I do know I don't like. You were a mess Bella."

I wince, remembering.

"And I don't want to ever see you like that again." He sighs heavily and takes another sip of his coffee. "Your mother would probably be better at this than me but since I'm in the hot seat I'll have do the best I can. I can't stop you seeing him at school but I can stop you spending time with him outside school and that's what I've a mind to do."

"We're just friends now dad." I offer semi truthfully.

"Fine, then you can be just friends at school."

"What about the other Cullens?" I ask in a small voice. "They're my friends too, particularly Rosalie and Em."

He sighs again and regards me in silence for a while.

"I'll speak to Dr Cullen and we'll see."

I nod.

"Go to school Bells." He says heavily. "And consider yourself lucky you're not grounded."

"Thanks Ch-Dad."

**RPOV**

"Why didn't you let me deal with Ed?" I whisper into Em's smooth heavily muscled chest.

"Babe, he'd have gone for your hair, you know he would."

I snort. He's right it's entirely Ed's style to pull a girl's hair out.

"Will you get tired of defending me one day?" I murmur.

"Never Rose." He replies earnestly, lifting his head and kissing my crowning glory reverently. "Although it would be nice to take a break occasionally."

I giggle and pinch his nipple.

"Ouch." He squeaks in outrage.

"Sorry." I murmur reaching up to kiss it better.

"Mmm. That's much nicer." He sighs shifting my naked body easily on top of his.

"You want more?" I ask turning my attention to his other nipple, I'm an equal opportunities kind of woman.

"I always want more babe." He groans as I reach down to stroke his thighs.

I love his thighs, they're so thick and strong.

One of the other things I love about him twitches against my leg and I purr in anticipation.

"Rosalie, Emmett!" Carlisle's voice breaks our moment. "Family meeting, now."

Em groans in frustration and I supress a bubble of excitement knowing from experience what he'll be like later, interruptions have a very motivating effect on him.

Dressed we make our way to the dining room, Em helping me smooth out my hair.

Carlisle, Esme and Jazz are already waiting as he pulls out a chair and plonks himself down with me on his lap to hide his massive erection.

Jazz smirks knowingly and Esme hides her smile.

"I have just come back from a meeting with Charlie." Carlisle explains. "He is, unsurprisingly, less than pleased that Edward is back and as he put it 'pursuing my daughter'."

He looks over at Em and I with an indulgent smile, even though he changed Em it was a while before he was prepared to let him woo me, his eldest daughter.

"And I must admit I have some sympathy for his position. He was extremely honest about how upset Bella was when we left and, um, extremely forthright about the consequences should that happen again.

We have agreed that all the children should be able to remain friends, however, Edward and Bella are not to resume their romance until Charlie believes she is ready for it."

Carlisle chuckles for a moment. "I believe he is hoping to string that out until Edward grows old and dies, obviously I couldn't explain to him that it's a forlorn hope.

Emmett. He asked me to inform you that if you ever allow Bella anywhere near a motorcycle again you will be spending a night in his cells."

"Me?" Em squeaks.

"Yes, apparently Bella was protecting Rose."

I smirk at Em and deliberately wriggle on his lap earning myself a growl and a groped ass.

"Now then." Carlisle continues. "Edward has a lot to think about regarding his relationship with Bella, her becoming a vampire for him is not a decision that either of them should be taking lightly and so I am supporting Charlie's request to keep them apart and I will be expecting all of you to help."

"I'll chaperone her." Jazz drawls winking at me. "She's a pretty little thing and I don't mind keeping the Ed Head away from her."

Carlisle and Esme stare at him uncertainly. They know as well as the rest of us that there is something not quite right about his relationship with Alice but I'm the only one in the family who knows the truth. Yet another reason why Pete, Char and I get on so well.

For my part I scowl at Jazz. We're overdue a talk about his interest in Bella. God I really am starting to think like her mother.


	20. Chapter 20

**Disclaimer: Stephanie Meyer owns all.**

**Rated M for several reasons. **

**Chpt 19 Second Base**

**RPOV**

Leaving a finally satiated Em in our room I take advantage of Alice being at school to search out my twin.

He's in his own room reading.

"Blondie." He greets me putting his book aside and patting the bed next to him.

I sit down cross legged and turn to face him.

"What's the deal with Bella?" I ask without preamble.

"Straight to the point I see." He drawls his lips curling into an amused smile.

"Why the sudden interest?"

"Who said it was sudden?"

I growl and he laughs.

"She's not one of your playthings." I huff. "And if you slip up with her there'll be a long queue to torch your ass."

"Blondie." He gasps in mock surprise. "You actually care about her."

I slap one of his rock hard abs. Ouch.

"What about Alice?" I ask curiously.

"What about Alice?"

"You don't normally act up so close to home, where you could get caught, and you don't normally do something that would deliberately hurt Alice."

"Blondie. Who says I'm actually planning on doing anything?"

"Are you?"

He shrugs.

"Don't play with me Jazz, she's just a kid." I growl.

"She seems to be growing up quite fast to me." He drawls lacing his hands behind his head. "Besides, I thought you'd be grateful for anything that takes her mind off the Ed Head."

He's got me there. A bit of attention from The Major would turn any girl's head, Emo Ed wouldn't fair very well by comparison. Any comparison.

He laughs, reading my emotions.

I narrow my eyes at him.

"You listen to me Major Zipper Problem. You are never, ever, to lay a finger on Bella. Not even if she's naked underneath you and absolutely begging for it."

"How am I supposed to get her naked and underneath me if I can't lay a finger on her?" He asks in a sensible tone.

"Argh!" I screech. "Why are you doing this to me?"

"I'm not doin' anythin' Blondie." He chuckles. "It's all in your fervid little imagination."

"Please Jazz, leave her alone. Ed's already broken her heart once, she doesn't need any more grief."

His expression closes down on me.

"I heard ya Rosalie." He growls picking up his book and starting to read again.

"Jazz, I'm not trying to . . . ."

He glares at me and I beat a hasty retreat mentally kicking myself for upsetting him. Jazz is one of the few people I genuinely care about.

"Went too far huh?" Em asks as I let myself back into our room.

"He can be so sensitive sometimes." I huff. "I wasn't implying that he wasn't . . . ."

"He knows that." Em says soothingly pulling me into his arms. "I don't know the whole story and I respect his privacy in choosing not to tell me but those demons he's got must be tough to wrestle with."

I nod and allow myself to feel miserable for a moment and then I remember that Em hasn't bothered to get dressed and there is a way to make myself feel better almost immediately.

**BPOV**

School is fairly normal. Jessica has forgiven my outburst in favour of access to any gossip I may have after my arrival yesterday with Groundskeeper Pete, even Lauren is being reasonably civil. My fulsome description of Char's great beauty hasn't done anything to dampen their ardour although I'm pretty sure meeting her in the flesh would do the trick.

Despite last night's near perfect kiss Edward and I are back to stepping around each other cautiously, apparently we don't know how to be together if we aren't together. Which is mildly depressing. Alice is mad at me for not going shopping with her but at least we have it out in the open that I hate it and don't want to do it. She'd be even madder if she knew I dreamt about her husband last night. Edward keeps casting sideways glances at me as I flush up periodically when I get a vivid flashback. I don't even know if some of that stuff is physically possible but I'd love to find out, with Edward of course.

Fortunately a last period of gym knocks some sense into me, almost literally, the stupid game should be called 'not dodge the ball' and was clearly invented to kill off whatever brain cells I was originally graced with.

"What are you doing tonight?" Edward asks as he escorts me back to my truck.

"Homework, housework and some serious sucking up to Charlie." I sigh.

"That'll teach you to ride motorcycles." He laughs softly.

I smile at him ruefully as he hands me into the truck.

"I'll see you tomorrow." He says closing the door and walking away.

Back at home I rifle through the cupboards in search of something tasty to make for dinner.

"Knock, knock." Char calls out entering the kitchen with Jasper following behind her.

I give them both a wide smile which Char returns easily, Jasper on the other hand has returned to silent and brooding, managing only a slight nod.

"What are you up to?" Char asks.

"I need to go the store, we've got nothing edible for dinner." I huff.

"Can we come?" She asks excitedly.

"You want to go food shopping?" I ask sceptically.

"I don't get to do it very often and I'm hiding J from Alice so he has to come with. Don't you big boy?"

"I'll go and get the car." Jasper says in a resigned voice and ambling outside.

"Don't mind him." Char says. "Rose rattled his cage this afternoon and he's sulking."

"I didn't realise there was anything to mind. He's usually not very talkative."

"Bella, the real J is nothing like the one you're used to." She says crisply as I grab the housekeeping money and stuff it in my purse. "He'll unbend in a bit."

We take Pete's mustang into town, Char heaping a stream of good natured abuse on Jasper's head for managing to lose it to him.

Inside the store she watches me avidly as I browse the shelves, plying me with questions while Jasper shadows us like a bodyguard. It's like taking a little kid around with you. What's this, what's that, why?

Chore over we emerge into the damp evening.

"I need something in Newton's if you guys don't mind?" Char asks.

I hesitate, not wanting to see Mike.

"Okay, I'll go on my own, you guys wait in the car."

Jasper takes my groceries placing them in the trunk and the two of us take shelter in the car.

"I never did get the chance to apologise for your birthday." He says quietly staring out at the rain on the windshield.

"Um, there's no need. I cut myself, these things happen."

"It won't happen again. Fresh blood is always hard to resist if there isn't time to prepare. Just try not to cut yourself around me."

"Done and done." I promise him with a giggle.

He laughs and we lapse into a companionable silence both staring out at the rain.

"You do smell particularly nice." He says softly without turning to look at me.

"Um." I fidget uncomfortably, I might know the realities but it's still shocking to be reminded that you're food.

"I didn't mean in a food way."

"Oh." Cue blush.

"The scent intensifies when you blush. And it's quite beautiful."

Phew, is it me or is it getting hot in here.

He laughs again, still looking straight ahead.

I turn slightly to study his profile, the first time I've ever really looked at him properly. He grins but doesn't turn his head. His nose dips on the end when he smiles, it's kind of cute.

The lights from other cars in the darkening lot illuminate him in random ways as I stare. His gold hair curls slightly around his jawbone and I fight the urge to tuck it behind his ear. His presence fills the car, not just physically, and it occurs to me that his quiet and studious demeanour is a by-product of containing who he is in a package that others can cope with.

He's the handsome man to Edward's beautiful boy and I shiver unexpectedly.

He turns to face me, smile gone and replaced by a look I can't decipher.

We stare at each other in silence.

"What would you do if I kissed you now?" He whispers in a voice so low I barely hear him.

"Um." Is all I can manage as my stomach turns over in slow motion and my eyes dart to his full lips, watching as they quirk up at the edge in the ghost of a smile.

His eyes trap me again and he holds his hand out, palm up, and unthinkingly I place mine into it.

He lifts it to his face sniffing appreciatively at my wrist and his cool breath tickles my skin which immediately flames with heat. Eyes never leaving my face he turns it over and places a soft, lingering kiss on the back of my hand. This time the warmth starts deep within me and flashes uncontrolled through my entire body. Holy shit my startled brain exclaims.

"Char is coming." He murmurs releasing my hand and returning it to my custody.

Thankful for the diversion I wriggle in the seat and start climbing into the back, tangling my foot in my purse strap as I go.

Laughing Jasper puts his hand out to steady me, unfortunately I'm falling forwards at the time and he ends up with a handful of my left breast. Mortified I squirm away from him and collapse in an undignified heap on the backseat closing my eyes and hoping for the ground to open up and swallow me.

"Well." He drawls with amusement. "I guess that's further than Edward ever got."

"Good god Bella." Char gasps, opening the door and bringing a squall of rain in with her. "Why didn't you just lift the seat forward like a normal person?"

"I was in a hurry." I huff managing to get myself into a sitting position.

Jasper laughs and Char regards him curiously.

She chatters all the way home but I don't really hear her, Jasper's eyes keep finding mine in the rear-view mirror and obliterating everything and everyone else from my thoughts.

He helps us carry the groceries indoors and then excuses himself and heads home.

I shake my head to clear the fog out of it.

"Have you heard a word I said to you in the last ten minutes?" Char asks with a giggle.

"Um, no?"

She shakes her head and rolls her eyes with a happy smile.

"Can I help cook dinner?" She asks when it becomes clear I still don't have anything useful to say for myself.

"Sure."

"What are we having?"

"Lasagne, Charlie's favourite."

"Cool. Teach me."

Char and I spend the next hour making lasagne and preparing potatoes for the fries, gossiping easily about all manner of things except the one thing I want to ask her. I'm such a coward.

The lasagne is filling the house with its incredible aroma when Charlie returns and Char bids us goodnight.

It's actually nice to have a normal night at home with him. No visitors, no secrets and no drama.

After a couple of hours I excuse myself to my room but instead of doing my homework I lay on my bed and ponder just what the hell happened in the car with Jasper.

Nothing clearly. He kissed the back of my hand, my physical reaction to it was hardly surprising considering my sexless state. His coping a feel was entirely accidental, at least I think it was.

I wonder what it would feel like to kiss him, would it be different to Edward? I close my eyes and try to imagine it but my lack of experience makes that impossible and all I manage to do is get myself uncomfortably warm. So it seems I _am_ capable of being attracted to someone other than Edward. His married brother. _Awesome_. As Jessica would say with just the right amount of sarcasm.

Sleep is a long time coming.


	21. Chapter 21

**Disclaimer: Stephanie Meyer owns all.**

**Rated M for several reasons. **

**Chpt 20 Game On **

**RPOV**

Over the next few weeks our life has settled into a new routine, not as relaxed as it was before the family came back but comfortable nevertheless.

Em says I'm developing a terrible squint from trying to keep Ed and Jazz away from Bella but I can't help it.

Ed is worrying me less and less. They don't seem to be getting any closer and although I can see he's upset about it he isn't showing any signs of making a decision on whether or not Bella should be changed. I asked her if they'd discussed it once but she just shrugged and changed the subject. I can tell she's not happy but it's nothing like the Zombie Bella we came back to, more resigned and melancholy after she's spent any length of time with him. The longer it goes on the less likely it seems to me that they'll get back together. I'm happy about it but I still feel a bit sorry for Ed, so close to being happy forever and just not quite able to do anything about it. Loser.

She's been accepted into a decent college, Jazz used one of his old contacts to get her a scholarship that greatly increased how far her meagre fund would stretch, not that we told her. Char's been accepted onto the same course and so have I although I haven't told Bella that yet. She'll probably freak out and run away screaming but if she doesn't then I think I'll quite enjoy going through college with her. God knows she needs someone to watch out for her.

Carlisle knows there's a possibility Em and I will be moving away with her and we've both agreed not to mention it to Esme until absolutely necessary, she's upset enough about Ed and Bella as it is. I'm assuming Ed's wormed it out of one our heads by now but he hasn't said anything.

Em's excited and he and Pete are already looking into business opportunities as neither of them are willing to go back to school if they can get away with it.

There's inevitability about all this which I'm slowly coming to accept. The more time she spends with us the more likely she is to end up a vampire and before we do all head off to college together we'll need to talk about that.

Char's _glamour_ lessons have been paying off in spades. The boys at school were always very keen on Bella but now she's got a bit more confidence and dresses slightly less like a bag lady she's more popular than ever. Not that she notices, bless her. Em sure does and has taken to picking her up from school whenever he gets the chance. He won't help me with either Ed or Jazz but if a human boy shows too much interest he's straight into big brother mode. Men.

On the subject of Jazz the jury is still out. He's definitely showing more interest in Bella than he ever did before but I haven't seen anything really inappropriate. I'm starting to wonder if Alice has though, she's even more irritatingly clingy than usual, although that could just be because of the prolonged presence of her arch enemy Pete. As for Bella, she responds to Jazz's gentle flirting with frantic embarrassment and increased self-confidence, so he's actually working in my favour at the moment.

So much so that I'm not even really worried about this weekend. Bella's staying with us as Charlie is fishing but as usual everything's gone wrong at the last minute. Esme's flipped out and stormed off to Denali because Carlisle's been spending too much time at the hospital with a difficult patient. It happens every once in a while but this time she's taken Nosey with her, as Bella's staying over she tried to take the Ed Head too, but he flatly refused.

As Char and Pete are in Seattle hunting Bella was of a mind to stay at home but I will not have my plans spoilt by other people's emotional problems and so I'm on my way to pick her up. I can keep my squint up for two days if needs be, besides without parental supervision Ed might get around to finally shooting himself in the other foot, a girl can but hope.

**BPOV**

As we enter the house I prepare myself to face Edward, a ritual I'm becoming used to. No longer butterflies in the stomach, more a dull ache of pain. I'm so sure he's eventually going to get round to telling me he won't change me that I've already begun the process of dealing with it. If I wasn't so yellow I'd ask him but our last conversation on the subject upset me so much I can't get the words out.

"Where's Ed?" Rosalie demands of Jasper as soon we enter the house and she's kissed Em.

"Hunting." Jasper responds without looking up from his position sprawled on the couch, nose in a book.

"Why's he gone now?" She huffs.

"Because he was pissing me off pacing up and down waiting for Bella to get here and I threatened to kill him." He drawls.

She laughs and I snicker, and then feel massively guilty.

"You're in the spare room." Rosalie announces taking my bag and handing it off to Em who rolls his eyes at me and trots away with it. "I got some wine Char recommended but she says you're only allowed two glasses tops, otherwise you get morose."

"I suppose I'd better get it." Jasper sighs, getting to his feet. "Since I'm the only one here who knows how to use the cork screw without stabbing something."

Rosalie pokes her tongue out at his departing back and I snicker again.

He returns with an immoderately sized glass of icy cold white wine and hands it to me with a wink before going back to his book.

"I'm warning you now." Rosalie whispers. "Em's got a full itinerary of games picked out for tonight, when it gets too much just act drunk and I'll put you to bed."

I kick my new boots off and wander to the big overstuffed chair, curling up in it to sip my wine.

Em bursts back into the room his arms laden with board games.

"Jazz, bro, can we turn this crap music off?" He asks.

Jasper looks up at him. "This is not crap music Emmett. I've had to listen to Edward's poncey shit all day and now I'm listenin' to this."

"Bells?" Em appeals.

"It sounds okay to me Em."

"Suck up." He grumbles laying the games out on the coffee table. "What are we playing first?"

"Spin the bottle?" Jasper asks absently, nose back in his book.

"You're not getting anywhere near my wife's lips Jazz, forget it." Em growls.

"Ahem." Rosalie interrupts, eyes burning a hole in Jasper's book. "No one is playing spin the bottle. I get to pick first since I hate playing games more than anyone else here."

"Granted babe." Em concedes. "Pick away."

What can I say? Never play Monopoly with vampires. They cheat.

An hour later I'm flat broke and negotiating with Jasper for the sale of my one remaining property. Rosalie has already smacked him upside the head for offering me five minutes in the closet plus five thousand dollars for it. I'm not sure if it's because she objects to his flirting or because if he gets it he'll probably win.

Anyhow my first glass of wine combined with their ridiculous competitiveness and unashamed cheating has me rolling around on the rug in hysterics which is how Edward finds us when he returns.

"Oh great." Em whispers theatrically to me. "The grown up is back."

I smile up at the grown up, inhibitions lifted enough to make me pleased to see him but his first words are a dash of cold water.

"You're giving her wine?" He snarls at Rosalie.

"Actually I gave it to her." Jaspers says calmly.

"Excuse me." I huff. "_Her_ is right here and _her_ has been given wine before by her _mother_."

"You're not old enough to drink."

Jeez even Charlie's more relaxed about it than Edward. I'm hardly wasted.

"It's one glass Edward." There's a distinct edge to my voice. "No harm done."

"Another?" Jasper asks solicitously.

"Yes please wine waiter." I pass him my empty and he strolls out to the kitchen while I stare at Edward defying him to say anything else.

Jasper returns and makes a big show of handing me a brimming glass.

We finish our game but the fun's gone out of it somewhat, at least for me.

"Bella." Edward pipes up. "Would you like to take a walk?"

"No she wouldn't." Em decrees, plucking me off the floor and plonking me down on the couch beside him. "She's going to be my partner in the next game, someone needs to teach her to cheat properly. You, Jazz and Rose can be your own teams."

It doesn't go well, humans just can't cheat vampires and poor Em is a very sore loser.

I sit the next one out, nursing my wine and watching the four Cullens almost slaughter each other over a game of Simpsons Cluedo. In a bizarre way it's quite sweet, families really are strange things. Jasper, the peacemaker, calmly separates Rosalie and Edward when she tries to jam the dog's bone in his eye after he peeked and read her cards.

Gamed out Edward suggests a movie and we all agree. Another argument breaks out which I win courtesy of being the guest and soon I'm wedged on the couch between Edward and Jasper watching a romcom in the dark.

Edward holds my hand in his lap, gently stroking my palm with his thumb which is heaven, and on the other side I am acutely aware of Jasper's denim clad thigh resting lightly against mine and occasionally pressing closer when his body shakes with laughter, which is hell. Or did I get that the wrong way round? I really shouldn't drink, I can't handle it.

Next up Rosalie picks a Swedish thriller, compelling but very uncomfortable viewing, noting my interest Jasper offers to lend me the books which earns him a low growl of disapproval from Edward.

By the time we start Edward's choice my eyelids are drooping. Out of loyalty I try hard, really hard, to stay awake but it's an exercise in futility. About halfway in I give up and allow myself to collapse sideways.

"You're a crap pillow." I mutter into whoever's stone chest it is I've landed on.

A rich deep laugh follows me down into my slumber.

I wake up briefly, cradled against a stone frame and gently swaying from side to side.

Bemused I look up at Jasper's moonlit face.

"Are you carrying me off somewhere to drain me?" I ask sleepily and with far less fear than is appropriate.

"No." He laughs softly. "You fell asleep on me and I'm putting you to bed."

"Where's Edward?"

"Downstairs practising his smacked ass face because Rose wouldn't let him tuck you in."

He eases the door open and carries me across to the bed depositing me gently on it but not letting go of me, arms still wrapped around my back, face filling my bleary vision.

We stare at each other in silence and my stomach does that slow motion turnover again. He has the most amazing eyes, framed by the longest lashes, so intense you can't look away from them until he lets you.

"Would you like me to undress you?" He whispers, his nose almost touching mine.

I shiver and his lips quirk up into the ghost smile.

"Not such a good idea." I stutter caught between fear and dangerous curiosity about what would happen if I said yes.

"You're probably right." He chuckles dropping a quick kiss on the tip of my nose and releasing me. "Sweet dreams Bella."

He's gone in the blink of an eye, the door closing behind him with a soft click.

Still half a sleep I crawl under the covers wondering why he smells like fresh cotton and having his cool hard body pressed against mine actually felt warm.


	22. Chapter 22

**Disclaimer: Stephanie Meyer owns all.**

**Rated M for several reasons. **

**Chpt 21 PhD Study **

**BPOV**

The next morning I wake up abruptly, something cold and hard pressing against my cheek.

"Don't do that!" I scream into Rosalie's smirking face.

She withdraws to a respectable distance.

"How else am I supposed to wake you up?" She laughs. "You were talking in your sleep again."

"Yes, probably." I growl. "And don' tell me what I said, it's too early to be embarrassed."

"Early?" She snorts. "It's half past eleven."

With a groan I struggle into the sitting position.

"Ugh, I'm still dressed."

"And no one is more surprised than me." She says cryptically pulling the covers back. "Get in the shower, early morning human is not the most pleasant of aromas."

"Can't you ever be nice?" I huff, too woolly headed to be diplomatic.

"No." She answers with a short laugh. "Especially not when I've had to help my husband make you breakfast."

"Oh god." I groan. "What did he make?"

"I have no idea but it smells disgusting so the sooner you eat it the better."

Porridge. I'm not a fan but I dutifully eat it all up which seems to make Em happy.

"Where's Edward?" I ask feeling like a broken record.

"I'm here." He says strolling into the kitchen. "If it's alright with Em perhaps we could go for that walk now?"

I nod and dart a glance at Rosalie who rolls her eyes and mouths 'okay'.

Resigned I rinse my bowl out and accept his hand as he leads me out of the backdoor.

We start around the meadow in silence, the moisture from the grass already seeping into my sneakers.

"About your ultimatum." He starts without preamble.

"I, um." Oh god, here comes the coup de grace.

"I'm still thinking about it."

I sigh and I've no idea whether its relief or frustration.

"I might have some conditions." He continues.

"And they would be?" I ask in a choked voice.

He stops and turns me towards him, delicious breath wafting into my upturned face.

"Marry me first."

I gasp and stare helplessly into his golden eyes.

"Marry me." He repeats his hands closing gently around my upper arms.

Holy shit. Holy shit. Holy shit. Where the hell did that come from?

His eyes continue to bore into mine.

"I, um . . . ." I swallow convulsively. "I don't want to get married. It isn't necessary and it didn't work out too well for Renee and Charlie."

"Bella." He says quietly. "I know all that but don't you think it's strange that you want me to turn you so we can spend eternity together but you won't commit to me in a marriage?"

Tell him, the tiny voice screams, tell him you don't want to commit to him in any way. Tell him!

"I'm only eighteen!" I protest.

"And in my day that would have been old enough." He responds.

"I'm going to college."

"I know and that's fantastic, I've been accepted to the same one, we can go together. I want you to have every human experience."

"No, Edward, you don't. You want me to have every human experience that suits _you_."

His hands drop away from me and he steps back.

"Bella, I only want to keep you safe."

"I need to _live_ Edward. Alive or dead, I want to live."

"By drinking wine and flaunting your assets?" He snarls, gesturing at my recently liberated and currently heaving cleavage.

"Oh my god." I whisper my body suddenly doused in cold. "You're judging me by a set of standards that are a century old."

"I am more than a century old." He points out.

"Well I'm not." I sob. "I'm a product of my own time and there's nothing wrong with me. Nothing."

Overcome with all the feelings I've been supressing for weeks I slap him, carefully, and wheel away running for the garage.

As I roar across the meadow on my bike I hear another start up behind me and grimly promise myself that if it's him I'll ride into a tree because I can't face him again right now.

Instinctively I head out to my favourite area where there are plenty of jumps and I surge over them, flying through the air and revelling in the control I have over the bike. I might not be able to walk safely over a flat surface but this is something I _can_ do.

However my bad luck holds and just as its getting dark my bike coughs and dies. Lowering it gently to the ground I wish I'd taken more notice of Rosalie's admonishments to check the fuel before setting off into the middle of nowhere. Without the surging adrenaline I suddenly realise how cold it is.

After checking the bike for damage as I've been taught I set off on foot in what I hope is the direction of the Cullens, guiltily realising that once again a vampire will probably have to come and save me from my own stupidity.

After a few minutes I'm forced to stop, scanning the trees for a clue in the gathering gloom, I don't want to be found plodding around in circles.

Footsteps approach behind me and two big hands come down lightly on my shoulders.

"You're very tense." He says rubbing his thumbs in circles on the tight muscles.

Involuntarily my head falls back slightly and I sigh.

"You're not helping." I mumble.

"I am." He objects softly. "I can feel the tension leaving you already."

He continues to work on me in silence.

Abruptly he returns his hands to the top of my shoulders and his cool fingers brush lightly up and down my neck making me shiver in delight.

I close my eyes as he brushes the hair away from my neck and his lips move lightly across the skin behind my ear. At the first touch my knees begin to tremble and he steps closer pressing his body against mine, just enough to hold me up. His cool tongue darts out to taste me and I gasp, my hand automatically coming up to cup his cheek.

"Why didn't Rosalie come after me?" I ask by way of diversion to the interesting things going on in my body.

"She wasn't exactly dressed for it." He chuckles, his breath tickling my neck. "And a very naked Em was busy stopping the Ed Head from doing it. But I'm sure they'll be here soon if we don't get back."

Languidly he begins nibbling gently at my neck as his hands roam over my shoulders.

"Why are you doing this?" I moan after another minute as he continues to nuzzle me.

"Because I want to and you haven't told me to stop." He answers simply, his breath sending shivers down my spine.

"St-stop." I wheeze out.

Immediately he does, his big hands once again resting on my shoulders.

We stand like that for an age as darkness descends around us.

I shiver again, as much from cold as his body still pressed against mine.

"I need to take you back." He says, turning me gently to face him, hands still resting on my shoulders.

Like a rabbit in the headlights I stare helplessly into his eyes as his face descends slowly towards me.

His mouth brushes softly across mine and I gasp breathing in his cotton scent as he captures my lower lip sucking it gently into his mouth.

My stupid, innocent, knees give out immediately and I sag into him. His hands slide down from my shoulders and around to my back, pulling me in tighter as he releases my lip and covers my mouth with his, lips moving purposefully against my surprised but automatically responsive ones.

Within seconds I forget every rule Edward ever set, tangling my hands in his long blonde hair and opening my mouth, tongue darting out to find his.

He deepens the kiss and I inhale sharply as he lifts me up easily and guides my wobbly legs around his waist. I cling to him like a monkey pulling myself as close as possible, heat and electricity arcing through me. There is nothing, I have no name and no history, there is only the feel of his mouth passionately and almost roughly dominating mine and his hard body forcing mine to yield and mould around it.

I don't even realise I'm gasping for breath until he releases me and turns his attention to my throat, lip covered teeth dragging across my skin. With a wanton groan I throw my head back, instinctively giving him better access and arching my overheated body into his cool one.

"Drop!" A familiar voice orders.

Laughing softly he gives my throat a flick with his tongue and pulls me upright to drop a chaste kiss on my lips

"Wow." He breathes quietly as he slides me sensuously down his body and sets me back on my feet.

I gaze up at him in wonder my jaw still hanging slightly open, legs rubbery and whole body still blazing with wild heat.

He takes my hand gently and turns us to face an expressionless Rosalie and a highly amused Em who has one massive fist in stuffed in his mouth, presumably so that he doesn't laugh, and my motorcycle clutched firmly in the other.

Immediately the heat changes into the burn of mortification and I remember who I am and what I've just done.

"You." Rosalie growls jabbing a finger at Jasper. "Are a complete asshole."

He laughs and squeezes my hand.

"And you." She growls turning to me. "I don't know whether to slap you for doing this to Alice or hug you for finally showing some sign of life."

I hang my head in shame.

"I'm sorry Bella." Jasper addresses the top of my head. "I'm used to screwin' up, this'll be a new experience for you."

"Where's Edward?" I ask, still looking at the ground.

"Fortunately he's gone into Port Angeles to get you something for dinner. So we'd better get you back and Jazz's scent washed off you damn quick."

I hesitate and Jasper releases my hand and gives me a little push towards Rosalie.

"Go on Bella, it'll be okay, go back with Rose." He says.

I glance up at him uncertainly and he smiles, teeth glinting in the fresh moonlight.

With a sigh I trudge over to Rosalie who slings me onto her back without a word and speeds back to the house.

Up in the guest room she shoos me into the shower with a stern warning that she'll be waiting for me when I come out.

The hot water eases the cold from my bones but does nothing for the shadow of Jasper's kiss and touch which is wrapped around me, separating me from the reality of what I've done like a thin shimmering shield.

Finished I gather my courage and slip out of the bathroom to face my doom.

It's sitting cross legged on the bed waiting for me.

Nervously I perch on one of Esme's antique chairs.

"I commend your taste." She observes dryly. "He's a hundred times the man Edward is."

"I didn't mean for that to happen, I'm really sorry Rosalie." I stammer.

"I know _you_ didn't." She huffs and then sighs.

"I've hurt Alice." I mumble.

"No you haven't." She says firmly. "None of us will tell her. And I doubt if Jazz was stupid enough to decide to do it beforehand in which case she won't have seen it."

"But I still kissed her husband and I'm supposed to be her friend."

"She hasn't been a very good friend to you." Rosalie observes. "So I'd take this as your 'get out of jail free' card if I were you."

I decide to let that one slide, I still haven't forgiven Alice for leaving me but kissing the man she loves, her husband seems like going a bit far to me.

"Bella, I'm not going to forbid you to have anything to do with Jazz, I don't have the right but I feel I've earned the right to at least urge you to be careful.

Pete's told you about Jazz's early vampire life. It's very difficult to move on from being in a position where you were actively encouraged to just take what you want, anything you want without consequences.

Jazz is catnip for the ladies when he puts his mind to it, which frankly he does rather a lot. When Edward told you about Jazz struggling with his control he wasn't just talking about accidently draining people.

He's never done it this close to home before because he won't deliberately hurt Alice and it worries me that he's taken a shine to you. I don't know what his intentions are but I do know that you could get hurt in the cross fire. Like he said tonight he's used to screwing up and being on everyone's shit list, you're not.

Bella, you're a high school student, Jazz is, well Jazz is more of a PhD level study. Do you understand what I'm telling you?"

I shake my head deciding that honesty is the best policy.

"Jazz might not love Alice but he won't leave her and I don't want you to get hurt. Edward's already done enough damage. Do what you like with Jazz but don't fall in love with him and don't get caught."

"I don't want to do anything with Jasper!" I exclaim and she throws her back and laughs like a loon.

"You wait till you've had a chance to think about." She says knowingly when her mirth has subsided. "Now get dressed, I can hear Ed's stupid Volvo coming up the drive, you can tell me how a simple stroll in the meadow turned into an emotional blockbuster later."


	23. Chapter 23

**Disclaimer: Stephanie Meyer owns all.**

**Rated M for several reasons. **

**Chpt 22 Smells Like Snow **

**BPOV**

With my new boots on for confidence I venture downstairs, now with two people to avoid but of course it's their house and I'm not going to get away with it completely.

Edward is in the kitchen laying out a three course Italian meal, the smell is divine and my stomach growls in response.

We look at each in wary silence and in the privacy of my own head I wonder if he knows about what happened with Jasper.

"Please Bella." He says after a few minutes. "Eat your dinner and then we can talk afterwards, if you want to."

I nod gratefully and settle myself onto a stool.

"It looks delicious." I comment and he smiles.

"I got all the things you like."

"Where is everyone?"

"Jazz is out hunting, Rose and Emmett are around somewhere." He smiles regretfully. "I don't suppose they'll leave us alone for very long."

I chomp my way through the starter and most of the main course sharing the occasional shy smile with Edward, the more time that passes without him mentioning this afternoon the more comfortable I begin to feel.

"I don't like it when you ride that bike." He says suddenly.

"I know and I do realise that they can be dangerous." I sigh, putting down my fork.

"Then why do you do it?" He asks with genuine interest.

"It's fun, it's a challenge. I'm actually quite good at it." I chuckle. "Since my feet have only a limited involvement."

"I can understand that." He says ruefully. "I just find it hard to see you doing anything that could hurt you."

I sigh again, unwilling to point out the obvious answer to that problem and start another argument.

We stare at each in silent misery, stuck on opposite sides of an increasingly large chasm.

"I'm sorry." He says abruptly. "I'm ruining your dinner."

And in the blink of an eye he's gone.

I scrape the remainder of the food into the trash and rinse out the plates. The house is eerily quiet but with vampires that doesn't necessarily mean they aren't here.

Unsure I wander from room to room but there's no sign of anyone and so with a sigh I make my way to the living room and flop down on the couch. Now is really not a time to be left alone with my thoughts.

I close my eyes and give in to the temptation to relive Jasper's kiss. Guiltily I can't help but compare it to Edward's more chaste offerings. Humph, PhD indeed, I get some of what Rosalie was saying. I have now been kissed by what I assume to be an expert. And it was incredible. My life sucks. My boyfriend won't kill me or make an _inappropriate_ move on me and the only action I get is from his brother who is married to my former best friend. I want to be held, I want to be loved and I want to be kissed, is so that so much to ask, _Edward_? With a groan I roll over onto my side and punch the cushion. I'm so tired, again, I feel like I need a vacation away from everyone and everything.

Something cold and hard pressed over my mouth jerks me awake.

"Quiet." Rosalie hisses. "We have visitors coming and it's too late to try and hide you."

Scared, naturally, I nod my head and she releases me.

"What's happening?" I whisper.

"Two of The Volturi are here."

Oh shit. Immediately I realise why she's so strung out, we could all of us end up dead and it's not even nine pm yet.

"Come with me and don't speak no matter what happens."

Gripping my arm tightly she shoves me into one of her coats and then drags me out of the door and across the drive to where Em is stood with two vampires wearing black hooded cloaks. One of them towers over Em and the other is more my size, in the darkness their faces are impossible to make out. There's no sign of Edward and I hope he is a very long way away from this new disaster.

"Ah." The big one says happily as his dark red eyes look me over from head to toe. "The source of the appetising smell."

"How can we help you?" Em asks politely as Rosalie places me firmly between them.

"I am Felix, a leader of The Volturi Guard. The Master sent us to the United States on a little mission and requested we look in on his good friend Carlisle while we were here."

"Carlisle is at work." Rosalie says easily, introducing herself and Em and explaining that Edward is out and Esme and Alice are in Alaska.

Felix and his un-introduced companion nod at them both before returning their eyes to me. I shiver.

"Would you like me to call Carlisle?" Rosalie asks eventually when they don't say anything further.

"Please." Felix smiles. "I would very much like to hear why there is a human at his house. An undead one."

"He doesn't know." Jasper's voice cuts in as he strolls out of the house clad in just his low slung jeans.

"I see." Felix chuckles. "His ridiculous diet must be extremely difficult to follow."

Jasper, Rosalie and Em all laugh and a trickle of fear rolls down my spine.

"And you are?" Felix asks studying Jasper's bare torso with narrowed eyes.

"Jasper Whitlock." He answers with a slight quirk of his eyebrow and I gasp as I realise his eyes are completely black.

"How very interesting." Felix murmurs. "You are part of this coven now?"

"Just visiting friends, I'm a nomad." Jasper responds, clapping Em heartily on the back and almost knocking him over.

"Well." Felix observes. "Since we have a plane to catch and time is short perhaps we should dispose of the tasty treat and call Carlisle?"

"The human is _mine_." Jasper growls menacingly and for a number of reasons the hairs on the back of my neck stand on end.

"Yours?" Felix questions.

"_Mine_. I have been grooming her for a while." Jasper's mouth quirks up into an evil grin. "I like to play with my food."

I gasp and take a step backwards but Em's arm clamps around me tightly, holding me in place. Jasper leans down and runs his finger along my jawbone and down my throat as I shake in terror.

"It seems your little game is over." Felix observes with a chuckle.

Jasper growls in anger, a proper wild animal sound, turning back to face Felix, immediately I cease my frantic struggling the sound of my thundering heart and tearless sobs almost deafening me.

"They do smell so much nicer when they're terrified don't they?" Felix continues in amusement, watching Jasper's face. "I'm so sorry to have brought an abrupt end to your fun, please do not let me stop you."

"I do not _share_." Jasper says in a threatening tone that even has the massive Felix taking an involuntary step backwards.

"Of course not, I wasn't suggesting it." Felix assures him, eyeing me with interest again and licking his lips. "I am sure you were planning to take your time, I certainly would be."

Jasper growls again, a lower deeper sound that sets my knees trembling as he and Felix stare each other down.

"Might I suggest a take out?" Felix offers after a moment with a small bow. "Perhaps we will see you again during our visit. I am sure we can arrange another flight should we need to."

Jasper turns back to me, his black eyes sending another ripple of terror down my spine. I've never seen anything less human.

Em releases me and I whirl away making it all of two strides before Jasper's arm snags me, swinging me easily over his shoulder and bearing me off into the woods at mind boggling speed, my screams trailing out behind us like a comet's tail.

Soon I'm forced to give up the screaming, my breath gone, in favour of trying to brace myself into a more comfortable position, speeding vampire is a bumpy ride when you're hanging upside down.

He skids to a sudden stop easily swinging me around to cling to his back and then takes off at a dead run again, all without speaking a word. Frozen in fear I hold onto him as tightly as I can and close my eyes mouthing silent prayers.

I wake up stretched out on a huge bed in front of a roaring fire, aching from head to foot but definitely not dead.

Groggily I sit up, my head spinning.

A still semi naked Jasper is sat in a chair by the fire, reading. With a gasp I shuffle back up the bed and press myself against the wall.

"Felix is right." He says dryly without looking up. "The smell of fear does make you more appetising so I'd tone that reaction down a bit if I were you."

I force myself to take deep breaths while I try and reason everything out. I might not know much about Jasper but I think I can be confident that neither Rosalie nor Em would do anything to deliberately hurt me. Although I know without a shadow of a doubt she'd do anything to protect Em just as I would once have done for Edward. On balance however I think that the fact I'm still alive is a good sign.

"Where are we?" I ask when I've calmed down about as much as I'm going to.

"In a cabin near Goat's Rock, we keep it for when we're away hunting."

"Why?"

"Why do we keep a cabin or why are we here?" He asks looking across at me with a grin.

"Um, both."

"We are here because it's better for The Volturi to believe that I've taken you to have my wicked way with you before I drain you." His grin suddenly turns into a smirk. "And as to why we have the cabin, you're sitting on it."

With a gasp I look down at the enormous bed, other than Jasper's chair, a bookcase and a chest of drawers the only bit of furniture in the cabin. My eyes dart back to his and he waggles his eyebrows at me. Oh my god, I've stumbled, been carried, into the middle of a low budget porno.

Reading my emotions he throws his head back and laughs, that rich deep sound I'm coming to recognise.

Putting the book down he gets to his feet and crawls up the bed towards me, the firelight flickering in strange patterns on his shoulders and creating a halo around his golden hair.

I swallow as he crawls right up until he's looming over me and his nose is almost touching mine.

"Now you are awake I need to go out and get some stuff." He says, lips quirking into the ghost smile. "Food for you and a cell so I can contact the others. Will you be okay on your own?"

I nod.

"You should be safe." He continues golden eyes boring into mine. "None of the family will follow us and The Volturi seemed pretty convinced by my act, they won't want to _interrupt _me."

"Can't we just go back?" I stammer, appalled by my reaction to his close proximity.

"No. They might be hanging around to see if I've actually killed you. Unlikely but a possibility. We may need to stay here for a few days until they're gone."

"What about Charlie?"

"Leave that to Carlisle, he'll think of something."

"I shouldn't be here with you." I mutter.

"No, you shouldn't." He says softly. "But you are. Just me and you in a nice cosy cabin, miles from anywhere and I can smell snow in the air, it's actually quite romantic. You should_ relax_ and try to enjoy it."

I swallow again, I've never felt so tense in my entire life.


	24. Chapter 24

**Disclaimer: Stephanie Meyer owns all.**

**Rated M for several reasons. A hint of citrus. **

**Chpt 23 Roaring Fire**

**RPOV**

This _clusterfuck _is entirely the sort of reason I don't care about anybody but myself.

Carlisle's home, thank god, because the Ed Head was in danger of freaking out and getting us all killed. The devious old so and so has managed to convince Felix and his little friend that Ed is a chronic coward, which he's now having to play up to and is the only worthwhile thing in this whole disaster.

Em and I have just been given a dressing down for allowing a degenerate like Jasper Whitlock anywhere near our home, never mind with his hapless dinner in tow. Much to Felix's amusement.

He and Carlisle are now sitting in the living room catching up on The Volturi gossip while the creepy little one watches Em and I trim the grass in the meadow with nail scissors. Carlisle's punishments are always creative.

Emse and Alice are already on their way home.

Not good, not good at all.

For once Emo Ed and I are worrying about the same thing. Sweet and innocent Bella Swan, on the run with one of the reasons vampire stories aren't always epic romances. I'm pretty sure he won't actually kill her but I'm absolutely certain she won't be coming home in the same condition she left. I just hope she enjoys it because the fallout is going to be thermo nuclear.

**BPOV**

As soon as he leaves I select something from the chest of drawers that I now know contains clothes and make use of the football team sized shower. Idly I wonder how the hell they get hot water all the way out here.

When I emerge, wearing a t-shirt so large it could only belong to Em, I poke my head out of the cabin door. Interesting, this place is so isolated there isn't even a discernable path leading away into the trees and there are big fat fluffy snowflakes threatening to obliterate the view completely.

Humph. Romantic.

I dart back inside and close the door firmly, curling up in the chair in front of the fire.

Well this is an unexpected development. Trapped in a remote cabin with what is quite probably the sexiest man I'll ever meet. Yep, I'll admit it. I have the serious hots for Jasper. This is going to be hell.

I wake up sometime later to find him crouching down in front of me. The fire is almost out and his still face is illuminated dimly by the last few embers.

Unthinkingly I stretch and his hands flash out, capturing my naked thighs and holding me in place.

We stare at each other in loaded silence until he abruptly pulls me down so our faces are almost touching. I flush with embarrassment aware that my naked thighs are now straddling his body.

"Quite beautiful." He whispers, leaning in and brushing my lips lightly with his.

Our mouths move softly against each other in an easy and relaxed rhythm and slowly my hands snake up his arms until they are cradling his head, my thumbs brushing the hair back behind his ears, just the way I wanted to in the car.

He groans and I gasp as his tongue darts out seeking entrance between my overheated lips. We kiss gently and almost tentatively for a few more moments until with another groan he deepens the kiss, pushing me back into the chair with the weight of his body. My legs, which I almost want to disown, lift up and wrap around his body bringing our hips into contact. Instinctively I try to pull away but he continues to dominate my mouth and pushes his body into mine.

Heat scorches through me and I push back at him, desperate for more.

His hands slide up under Em's t-shirt, grabbing my hips and pulling me down further so that I can feel the hardness in his jeans as he grinds it into me in sync with the movement of his mouth on mine.

Inhibitions temporarily on hiatus I moan into his mouth as the delicious pressure of his body rubbing against my sensitive skin fills me with a need I can't vocalise.

Agonisingly slowly his left hand tracks around from my hip as his lips drop to the junction between my neck and shoulder and I moan again, throwing my head back as far as the chair will allow.

His gently moving hand tracks around the top of my panties and then suddenly slips inside, cold fingers sliding into my hot wet folds and I bolt upright with a gasp.

"Interestin' dream?" He drawls stamping his feet and shaking the snow out of his hair.

"Oh shit." I whisper in horror and he laughs.

"I hope it wasn't about the Ed Head, I'm with Blondie on that one, he's not good enough for you."

Hurriedly I tuck my legs under me pulling Em's t-shirt down as far as it will go.

"Far be it from me to make you uncomfortable." He chuckles, grabbing the thick blanket off the bed and handing it to me. "But I'm a vampire and the tighter you pull that cotton the easier it is for me to see through it."

Blushing furiously I wrap the blanket around me, from chin to toe.

Laughing his handsome head off he deposits a bag of groceries on the floor next to the chair and grabs some fresh clothes from the dresser.

He emerges from the bathroom a few minutes later in nothing but a pair of cotton pyjama pants and with my forgotten push up bra swinging languidly from his outstretched finger.

I roll my eyes. Will the embarrassment never end?

"Hmm." He says lifting it to his nose and inhaling deeply. "Still warm."

"Stop it." I hiss, closing my eyes.

"Stop what?" He asks in a low voice, cotton scented breath wafting into my face.

I open my eyes to find his nose once again almost touching mine.

"What you're doing." I huff.

"What is it you think I'm doing Bella?" He asks reasonably.

I hesitate, it seems big headed to accuse him of trying to seduce me. After all his wife is a perfected vampire and I'm a mousy little human.

"Stop flirting with me." I blurt out in a rush, crimson with shame for my presumption.

"Flirting?" He seems amused. "Don't you like me flirting with you?"

I shake my head. A small white lie.

"Would you prefer it if I seduced you instead?"

"No." I gasp. Good god, what would it be like if he was really trying?

Laughing he surges to his feet grabbing his book and reclining on the bed.

"Now you're teasing me." I murmur, tucking the blanket more securely around me.

"Not deliberately." He says quietly and I look up to find him with his nose buried in the book. "Rose was right, I am used to taking what I want."

"You were listening." I accuse him.

"I'm a vampire." He shrugs. "It wasn't intentional."

"Do you really cheat on Alice?" I ask, too curious to keep the question in.

"Yes, although not quite as often as Rose implied."

"Why?"

He sighs and places the book on his chest looking at me speculatively.

"That's definitely a PhD level question." He says eventually.

"And I'm only a high school student." I observe unexpectedly offended.

"Exactly right." He responds picking up his book again.

Ignored I reach down and rummage in the grocery bag. His idea of human nutrition is even more eccentric than Em's, with a martyred sigh I select a Twinkie and tuck in.

Finished I ball up the wrapper and drop it down beside my chair.

"Did you get a cell?" I ask.

"I did." He answers, still not looking up. "Rose knows the number now but we'll need to wait until it's safe for them to contact us."

Miserable I hunker down in the chair and rest my head on the arm as I stare into the fire feeling very small and very alone. A lone tear slides slowly down my cheek, splashing onto the upholstery and I use all my will power not to sniffle, I will _not_ give him the satisfaction of seeing me behave like a high schooler. Rosalie is right, he's a complete asshole.

When I wake up again its daylight and I'm laid out on the bed still securely wrapped in the thick blanket with a fresh fire roaring in the hearth.

I can't see Jasper anywhere and I sigh. I don't know why any of them bother with me if I'm so useless.

"I wish you wouldn't feel like that." His voice startles me and I lurch over, struggling against my self-imposed cocoon.

He's stretched out on the bed next to me, hands laced behind his head, eyes closed.

"Maybe you should stop making me feel that way then." I snap without thinking.

"I'm sorry if I have." He breathes quietly.

Slightly mollified I study his profile. He's an amazingly good looking man, for an asshole. My eyes are drawn to his exposed upper body, it's better than any of the posters on Jessica's bedroom wall, if paler by comparison. In the early morning sunlight, reflected from the snow which is adorning the window panes, I can see fine lines and crescent shaped marks criss-crossing his skin. Scars, hundreds of them, many similar to the one James gave me which still decorates my hand. That must have been what Felix was staring at last night. Pete said the scars from their time in Maria's army are somewhere between a badge of honour and a three minute warning siren, danger do not cross. No wonder the big vampire was hesitant to mess with Jasper's dinner plans.

My nose starts to get cold and I wiggle down into the blanket again until only his head is visible.

Since Jasper doesn't breathe and the snow muffles all other sound the crackling of the fire soon lulls me back to sleep.

A tantalising smell drags me back to consciousness.

"What are you doing?" I mumble fighting my way out of the suffocating blanket.

"Toasting marshmallows." He replies, grinning at me over his shoulder. "Want one?"

Without thinking I shrug the blanket off completely and crawl down the bed.

He hands me the stick with a smile and I bite off the burnt offering with undue enthusiasm.

"Sweet tooth?" He enquires with a raised eyebrow.

I giggle. He has _no_ idea.

I hand him back the stick and he replaces it with another one. This time I manage a more lady like approach but can't supress my moan of appreciation.

With an amused smile he works his way through the bag and I devour the lot.

"All gone." He says regretfully, showing me his hands as proof.

I pout and he laughs, how I'm coming to love that laugh.

"Thank you." I mumble, suddenly embarrassed.

"De nada."

We smile at each other for a moment and then I get awkward, realising I'm kneeling on the bed in an oversized t-shirt and not much else.

His smile falters at the same time and we're back to staring at each other in tense silence.

Rising to his knees he moves toward me and I watch helplessly as he entwines a hand in my bed hair and pulls my face down to his.

I close my eyes with a sigh as our lips come together.

Very gently his mouth moves sensuously against mine, eliciting a response that I have no control over as tiny bursts of warmth flick out across my skin. That dream I had earlier should be done under some law about false advertising, it really didn't do him justice. My hands fly up to cup his face just as they did then but he pulls away slightly staring at me with those golden eyes. Totally out of character I dart forward pressing my lips against his and with a sharp intake of breath his other hand wraps around my neck pulling me all the way down so he can reclaim my mouth with his own. The whole nature of this kiss is different as we come together with sudden urgency, dancing tongues and harsh, snatched breaths. And I can feel myself being dragged under, drowning, with no one to save me.


	25. Chapter 25

**Disclaimer: Stephanie Meyer owns all.**

**Rated M for several reasons. Dribble of lemon juice ….**

**Chpt 24 Saved by the Bell**

**BPOV**

Bella goes bye, bye. Once again Jasper's kisses have wiped away any sense of self other than physical sensations and painful yearning. Somehow I'm now sprawled out on the bed with his cool hard body pressed against me, his mouth still making magic with mine and his free hand roaming lightly across my neck, shoulder and arm occasionally brushing tantalisingly against the swell of my breast.

My overheated body is bathed in a sheen of sweat, t-shirt stuck to it like a second skin. He is mostly still but from time to time his body arches against mine, hips thrusting at me in a way that has me squirming and trying to get that pressure where I need it.

My hands are everywhere, moving through his hair, feeling the muscles if his face and jaw as he kisses me purposefully and gliding over his bare back marvelling at the hard muscles sliding under his seemingly stone skin.

My nipples are aching painfully and I moan, with an answering groan he shifts position, free hand moving to stroke gently around the peak of my left breast while his thigh comes up between mine, pressing against my throbbing flesh.

Within moments I'm whimpering in desperation and his hand stops teasing my nipple which he takes between his finger and rolls, hard enough to change the dull ache to delicious pain. At the same time he increases the pressure of his thigh between mine.

And I really lose it, grinding myself against him with total abandon, mewling and moaning into his mouth.

With an answering groan he releases my swollen lips and lowers his mouth to my other breast.

"Oh god." I whimper, closing my eyes and burying my head in the pillow as his teeth close gently around the peak.

His cell starts ringing.

"Fuck." He growls, releasing my breast and leaning down over the side of the bed to snatch it up.

Conversation starts up immediately at vampire speed and I lay there underneath him gasping like I've run a marathon and hoping that it isn't Edward or Alice on the line.

Ending the call he raises himself up on his arms and closes his eyes.

I stare at him helplessly as my personality and inhibitions resume control of my unruly body.

He opens his eyes gazing down into mine and it almost seems like he can actually see the negative emotions seeping back in and taking charge.

His thigh pushes against me again and I gasp and arch my back automatically.

"I hate to leave a woman unsatisfied." He murmurs, face inscrutable.

"Please." I beg him. "We shouldn't be doing this."

With a sigh he leans down and presses a chaste kiss to my lips before rolling onto his back, pulling me with him so that I'm curled against him with my head resting on his chest.

We lay there in silence while my breathing and body return to normal.

Maybe Edward's right and there is something wrong with me. If the cell hadn't rung god knows what I would have done, I certainly don't. Damn, I bet I would have enjoyed it. Oh my god there _is_ something wrong with me. I should be up, away from him, tugging my clothes on furiously and giving him a thorough telling off. Not curled into his side like a lover, like I have a right to be there, which I don't.

"I'm a slut." I mumble miserably.

"You would never have gone through with it." He chuckles, stroking my arm gently.

"How do you know that?" I snort, highly dubious.

"Because I know _you_." His tone is firm. "You would never do that to Alice or Ed, no matter how much your body wanted to."

He inhales deeply and murmurs throatily. "And I _know_ how much it wanted to."

"Doesn't that make me a slut?" I ask in a small voice, ignoring the shiver that runs down my spine.

"No." He says with another chuckle. "That makes you a perfectly healthy eighteen year old in bed with a one hundred sixty year old lothario."

I can't help but giggle at the mental image that conjures up.

"You don't look a hundred and sixty."

"Thank you, ma'am." He drawls. "That's always nice to know."

We lapse into a surprisingly comfortable silence but after a while he starts laughing again.

"What?"

"Have you recovered enough from your attack of self-loathing to be curious about the phone call yet?" He asks.

"Oh, yes, well?"

"It was Rosalie, the Italians have gone, we can go home."

"Oh."

He pulls me easily on top of him so that I straddle him.

"Or." He waggles his eyebrows. "We could stay here a bit longer and pick up where we left off."

"That's, very tempting . . . ." I hedge.

"I should damn well hope so." He growls raising an eyebrow at me.

I giggle again which does interesting things to the way our bodies are touching. This time I do jump off him, like a scaled cat, desperately trying to pull the hot sweaty t-shirt down around me and jam it between my sticky thighs.

He throws his head back and laughs as I crab walk into the bathroom, slamming the door behind me. Asshole. He's either flirting with me, scaring me to death, or reducing me to a pile of semi sentient goo then making me feel like a fool.

Coming out I find him back in his jeans magnificent scarred chest glinting in the light and bare toes peeking out of the bottom.

"Do you have a problem with clothes?" I demand, still annoyed.

"Only around you darlin'." He winks, putting out the fire and holding out Rosalie's coat for me to slip on. "I was in the shower when our uninvited guests arrived, you're lucky I stopped to put pants on."

"That was a dangerous situation wasn't it?" I ask, fastening the buttons with suddenly shaking fingers. "We could have all been killed."

"Yes." He sighs, sliding his arms around me and pulling me back into his chest in a surprisingly comforting gesture.

"I thought you were going to kill me. You were absolutely terrifying."

He is silent for a moment and then he laughs again, pushing me away. "We should go before the Ed Head follows us here and does something stupid."

"Why, will he be angry with you?" I ask, following him out the door into the blinding whiteness.

"He's going to assume the worst." He answers dropping down so I can climb onto his back.

I wrap my arms around his neck and rest my face between his shoulder blades.

"He'd be very nearly right." I mumble, feeling ashamed again.

"Ah now darlin' that wasn't anythin' like nearly." He chuckles breaking into a gentle run. "Maybe one day you'll let me show you _nearly_."

"You're a very bad man." I tell him, trying to sound stern but failing miserably.

"I keep tryin'." He sighs theatrically. "Hold on tight, you are now travellin' vampire airways."

He surges forward with a burst of head snapping acceleration and this time I squeal in delight.

My eyes are tightly closed to prevent accidental vomiting but the increased warmth in the air goads me to open them. We're out of the snow and travelling through a vaguely recognisable green smear.

"Won't be long now." He shouts over the rush of wind.

I nod against his back and close my eyes again.

I wake up some time later cradled in Jasper's arms with a canopy of green above us and a darkening evening sky just visible through the leaves.

"We're almost there." He greets me with amusement. "I thought you might like to travel the last bit under your own steam, and _awake_. Are you sure you don't suffer from narcolepsy, you're always falling asleep."

I huff and he helps me sit up, keeping me cradled to his chest, my head resting against him and his chin on the top of my head.

"Ready to go back to reality?" He asks after a few minutes.

I shrug and he laughs softly.

"Just remember Bella. You haven't done anythin' wrong, don't let anyone else's hang ups make you feel bad about yourself. I'm the only real bad guy around here."

I nod, sounds easy enough but I'm not convinced.

"And do me a favour."

"What?"

"Put the Ed Head out of his misery, I can feel every angsty little thing he's feelin' an' unless you actually want me to kill him, it's the kindest way to go."

"We're finished aren't we, Edward and I?" I ask in a sad voice.

"From where I'm sittin' at my lofty PhD level?" He laughs. "Yeah, you're done."

I nod and he helps me to my feet, taking my hand to help me across the dangerously flat forest floor.

Sooner than I thought we emerge from the trees into the meadow and almost immediately the rest of the Cullens stream from the house and rush to greet us, Edward in the lead.

Jasper gives my hand a squeeze and then releases it, hanging back slightly.

"I see you managed to get my coat dirty." Rosalie drawls as she crashes to a stop beside Edward.

"I'll get it cleaned." I promise her with what I hope is a winning smile.

"Bella." Edward darts forward, gripping my arms tightly. "I'm so glad you're okay. I was so worried about you . . . ."

His nostrils flare and his eyes darken, zooming over my shoulder to lock with Jasper's.

"What did he do to you?" He demands, shaking me slightly.

"He didn't do anything." I lie smoothly while the tiny voice screams childishly, he kissed me Edward, with tongue and everything!

"His scent is all over you." Edward snarls, stepping back face twisted with jealousy. "What have you done?"

"Wow. Edward." Jasper drawls with perfect sarcasm. "That's some respect you're showin' there for the woman you claim to love."

Em sniggers.

"Edward." Carlisle says with a hint of irritation. "I know you have been worried about Bella but Jasper is right. This is unacceptable, his quick thinking saved her life and all of ours. He has been hiding her and carrying her, of course she is going to smell like him. Use your _nose_."

Oh yuk. I squirm in complete mortification, of course they can smell every little biological thing that goes on in my body. Oh god, somebody just drain me now.

Behind me Jasper chuckles at my discomfort. Asshole.

With the exception of Rosalie and Em they're all staring at me like exhibit A. That's it, I think mutinously, have a good old sniff and make your own minds up about whether I've been a naughty girl or not.

"What does Charlie think happened?" I ask Rosalie by way of distraction from my mounting, and under the circumstances unreasonable, anger.

"He thinks you have a head cold and spent the day in bed." She answers with a smirk.

"Will you take me home please?"

"Of course." Still smirking. "Your bag is already in the car."

I take a deep breath and start forward, the Cullens parting before me like the Red Sea but before I can make it all the way to the car Edward darts around blocking me.

"Bella, I'm sorry, I jumped to conclusions." He apologises in a rush, beautiful face twisted in anguish. "His reputation, you've been away for over a day. I'm sorry."

I scowl at him. Anger still building inside me as I have a brief but fundamental fight with myself. I might have been on the verge of doing what they all assumed, we'll never know, but their lack of faith in me, the stupid naïve little high school human is infuriating. Who died and made them better than me, it's not my fault Jasper and Alice's relationship is shit even if I'm not supposed to be capable of understanding why.

Eventually I win, or lose the fight, depending on your point of view.

Raising my middle finger I brandish it in his face. "Fuck you Ed." I hiss stalking past him and getting into Rosalie's car.

She hops into the driver's seat immediately breaking out into peals of laughter as we speed down the drive.

Eventually she calms down enough to speak.

"That was awesome but I hope you realise that Em's going to blame me for the 'fuck you'. But god, the look on Ed's face when your finger nearly went up his nose, it was practically worth the terror of lying to The Volturi. I'm afraid Alice is spitting bullets . . . ."

Her uncharacteristic rush of words comes to an abrupt stop when she realises I'm sobbing my heart out.

"Charlie's on nights." She says quietly. "Chocolate?"

I nod wiping my streaming nose on her coat.

"Char?" She snaps into her cell.

"Bella's back, we need chocolate, wine and a kick-ass pillow mountain."

"No, it's not _entirely _your brother's fault."

"Yeah, I'll go around the block a couple of times, she hasn't completely covered my coat in snot yet so there's time."


	26. Chapter 26

**Disclaimer: Stephanie Meyer owns all.**

**Rated M for several reasons.**

**Chpt 25 Three Ghosts**

**BPOV**

The following morning I have no trouble convincing Charlie I'm still sick, courtesy of my first hangover.

On Char's kick-ass pillow mountain we conducted a great deal of business.

They helped me talk through the emotional oil spill of my most recent brush with certain death and the knowledge that I nearly took people I cared about with me. Again.

We buried and mourned my relationship with Edward. It got a tearful, drunken send off from me and a vitriolic but very funny eulogy from Rosalie. Unfortunately I still have to actually tell him, which I am not looking forward to at all.

We discussed at length why I am still virgo intacto despite being locked in a cabin with Major Sex on Legs as Rosalie called him. Thankfully I was a couple of wines down at the time otherwise the embarrassment would have killed me. Char was matter of fact about the scent thing, vampires have sensitive noses and there's nothing I can do about it. Everybody knows I didn't have sex with Jasper but everybody also knows something must have happened because they could smell my _excitement_ as she delicately put it. I'm just going to have to pull up my big girl panties and deal with it. Char seemed mildly disappointed by my reluctantly revealed details, apparently her moral compass doesn't point due north or Alice's existence drags at it like a lodestone, I'm not sure which. By that point I was too intoxicated to ask any sensible questions so my raging curiosity about her baffling brother and his wife will have to go unanswered for the time being.

As soon as Charlie's snores have reached their noisy peak I lurch out of bed for an intimate and very unpleasant session with the toilet bowl.

Feeling very weak, mentally and physically, I drag myself back to bed and will myself to sleep.

**RPOV**

Once I'm sure Bella isn't going to choke on her own vomit I speed back home and from the tension in the house its clear the thermo nuclear explosion has happened in my absence.

Em greets me with a massive hug and beckons me out into the meadow so we can whisper in private.

"Ed accused Jazz of trying to seduce Bella." He begins, lifting me onto his lap and wrapping his arms around me. "No surprises there. Before they could go at it Alice went mental, she doesn't seem to be blaming Bells but she's sure as hell pissed at Jazz. They went up to their room, stuff was thrown and I learnt a new insult, but there didn't appear to be any make up sex."

I laugh at his astonished tone, make up sex is one of Em's favourite activities and it's always a shock to him when other people don't indulge.

"Anyway, she's in with Esme having some mother and daughter time. Carlisle's given Jazz the fatherly lecture on his responsibilities to his wife, his brother and the inappropriateness of putting the moves on an eighteen year old virgin. He also thanked him for saving all our asses at considerable personal risk."

I nod. Selfless bravery and despicable lechery in one perfect package.

"Ed got in my head and he knows Jazz and Bells sucked face the other night so with this new development his misery is complete. I feel bad for him babe, he's losing the only woman he ever loved and Jazz is rubbing his nose in it."

I scrunch my eyes up and dig down real deep. Yeah, a tiny spark of compassion is down there somewhere. Em laughs knowing perfectly well what I'm doing.

"So we're about up to speed." He concludes. "Carlisle's taken Ed hunting but I don't reckon they'll be gone long, he and Bells really need to talk."

I sigh, poor Bella's going to have to deal with that one on her own.

"Have you spoken to Jazz?" I ask.

"Nah. He's taken himself off somewhere and I didn't want to bother him."

"Will you go keep an eye on Bella for me while I talk to him?"

"No problem. Is she okay?"

I shrug and he sighs.

"We'll take care of her babe, she'll be fine."

I nod and reluctantly climb out of his lap. He gets up too and lays a pantie shredding kiss on me before heading back to the house.

With a heavy sigh I trot off in search of ground zero, following his scent trail to find him resting against a tree a couple of miles from the house.

"Don't give me a hard time Blondie." He growls, letting his head fall back against the trunk and closing his eyes. "Alice has already ripped me a new one and I had to use her hairdryer on my blue balls."

"I can't believe your silver tongue and pin up body failed you." I snort, flopping down beside him.

"As if." He responds easily, lips quirking up at the edge.

"Then what happened?" I ask, extremely curious.

No answer.

"So you're in trouble again?" I try another tack.

"It would seem so Blondie, plus ça change."

"Don't you ever get tired of living down to other people's expectations?" I ask him and not for the first time.

"You wanna be _my_ mother now as well?" He drawls.

"I just don't understand why you put yourself, Alice and now Bella through all this shit."

"I have impulse control issues, remember?"

"Like hell you do." I huff.

"Blondie." He says quietly. "I appreciate your efforts but I'm tryin' to be the suitably chastised bad boy here, sittin' by his tree an' thinkin' hard on his transgressions. Can you not just fuck off and leave me alone?"

Hint taken I make my way back to the house, as usual with Jazz, none the wiser about anything.

**BPOV**

At midday I manage to get out of bed without keeling over.

Payback is a bitch and although I'm sure last night's girl time was great it would be useful to be able to remember it properly.

I have a lot of apologising to do.

To Edward most of all. It was an intense twenty four hours and he pushed the final button but he didn't deserve to be treated like that in front of his family. At least it made Rosalie happy.

I curl up in Charlie's chair with a glass of milk, sipping it cautiously while my poor brain tries to make sense of everything that's happened.

Jasper's right, Edward and I are done. I feel far guiltier about kissing Alice's husband than I do about him and it's time to let go.

As for Char and I going to college together, I'm not sure. I want it badly but now I can appreciate just how dangerous it is for them, maybe it's best if they leave. Which of course they might anyway when I break it off with Edward.

I sigh and squeeze my eyes shut to keep the tears in. Big girl panties. I can survive college on my own and maybe they won't cut me out of their lives completely this time.

I'm purposefully avoiding thinking about Jasper, that subject just makes my headache worse.

A knock at the door startles me and I stagger over to open it.

Alice. Great.

Mutely I gesture her inside and follow her to the kitchen and we each take a chair while I gaze at her in total misery.

She sighs and manages a small, strained smile.

"I don't blame you Bella. I'm not happy about it but I don't blame _you_."

I nod carefully wondering if she knows exactly what _it_ is and if I should apologise.

"Jazz has some problems, which we're working on together, and it was very unfair of him to involve you in them."

Another careful nod.

"For obvious reasons I am not going to be allowing him anywhere near you in the future, I hope you understand?"

Repeat careful nod.

Long uncomfortable silence.

"I know we're not really friends anymore but I'm glad he saved your life." She says eventually. "And I'm sorry that things don't seem to be going very well between you and Edward, I have faith though, that you'll work it out eventually."

"Alice, I don't think . . . ."

She taps her head knowingly.

What the hell does that mean?

"I'd better go." She says getting to her feet before I can ask her. "Esme is coming and I know she wants to have a talk with you as well."

I watch in silence as she leaves and then lower my head onto the table with a groan.

A little while later there is another knock at the door and I heave myself up to open it.

Esme.

"Oh my god, Bella." She gasps. "Are you alright?"

"Hangover." I croak, gesturing her in.

"Tsk. Rosalie and Charlotte should know better."

We settle in the kitchen chairs again.

"Bella, I am so sorry. You've had a terrible time. Us leaving. Victoria. Edward. And now this."

I nod, unsure what _this_ is.

"The Volturi, you must have been so scared."

"Um, yes." Actually Jasper was scarier but let's not go there.

"I also need to apologise for Jasper." She looks down at her hands for a moment. "I don't know what gets into him sometimes but it was totally inexcusable for him to, er, well it just was."

I nod again.

"Nobody blames you Bella and Edward is beside himself for not protecting you better."

I sigh and she cocks her head to one side trying to read my expression.

"If you're sure, it's better to tell him." She says gently.

"I'm sure." I whisper, twisted with guilt. "I'm so sorry."

"I'm sad. He loves you so much, but you can't be in a relationship that isn't making you happy and he has to take his share of the blame for that."

I try to smile at her but I can't, silent tears are streaming down my face.

She hops out of her chair and kneels down beside me, enveloping me securely in her tiny arms.

"Whatever happens Bella, we won't all just abandon you again, I promise."

Her words push me over the edge and I sob brokenly onto her shoulder, soaking her silk blouse. Regretting what might have been and what I'm about to do to Edward, because I know he does love me, just not the way I need to be loved.

She stays for a couple of hours and we talk a little bit about college and Renee but mostly she just offers me silent comfort.

Eventually she takes her leave and I settle down to wait for my third visitor. There doesn't seem to be any point tidying myself up, there is no good impression left to make.

To my relief Charlie shuffles downstairs a little while later in his uniform and announces that he needs to go in early and get some paperwork done. I wave him off promising to stay wrapped up warm and get an early night.

As soon as the cruiser is out of sight Edward's Volvo pulls up. Impeccable timing as always.

Leaving the door open I curl up in Charlie's chair again.

He follows me in and perches on the couch.

"I suppose Peter and Charlotte will be listening in." He observes.

I nod helplessly as tears start sliding down my cheeks again.

"Bella. Love." In an instant he's kneeling in front of me, taking my hands gently in his.

"Ed . . . . Edward . . . . I . . . ."

"Shush. Love. I know."

"Y-you do?"

"I know you kissed Jasper and its okay, I don't blame you, I understand. It wasn't your fault, he's a monster preying on an innocent young girl. He just can't help himself, Alice doesn't blame you either. And whatever happened while you were away with him, that doesn't matter either."

"I'm so sorry." I sob, guilt washing over me. "So sorry for hurting you."

"I'm jealous more than anything." He says quietly. "That he was able to do something I'm too afraid to try. Bella, I wish I could be what you want me to be . . . ."

"But you can't, can you?" I whisper, slowly regaining some control over myself.

"I can try, I can keep trying."

I shake my head and he drops his, resting it on our joined hands.

"I will always love you." He whispers, his cool breath chilling my fingers.

"And I will always love you." I vow, closing my eyes in pain. "But I'm a human, mortal, I can't wait while you try."

"Can't or won't?" He chuckles mirthlessly.

"Both." I answer truthfully.

"I've been such a fool." He sighs.

I don't respond, my opinion will only hurt him more.

"I'm not going to take off and leave you again. I don't think I can, but I need, some time."

I nod, unsure what he means but as I'm holding onto myself by a thread I bite back my question.

After a moment he gets to his feet pressing his cold lips lingeringly to my stiff cheek and then in a blur he's gone.

Mechanically I get up and check the door is locked. Then I arrange myself carefully on the floor in a tight foetal ball and let the pain take me.

**A/N I know you all know, but plus ça change is 'the more things change, the more they stay the same'.**


	27. Chapter 27

**Disclaimer: Stephanie Meyer owns all.**

**Rated M for several reasons.**

**Chpt 26 Moving On**

**RPOV**

Emo Ed, true to form, legged it to Denali the moment he left Bella's house. Still I do feel a little bit sorry for him, so close yet I can't imagine him getting there again.

Jailer Alice has taken her errant husband away on extended vacation. Poor bastard, even if he does bring it all on himself.

And life has settled into another new rythym as Bella's high school career draws to a close.

I'm seriously impressed with Bella, sure she had a breakdown the night Ed left that had Char on the phone to me every ten minutes wanting to stage an intervention, but she got it out of her system, gritted her teeth, and got on with things.

I broached the subject of going to college with her and Char and after we'd had _the_ talk, and I'd dealt with her fears about getting us all killed, we agreed that it was the right way to go. She seemed surprised that I'm now so relaxed about her becoming a vampire but was quite sanguine with my reasonings. We didn't set a time limit on anything, but we did agree that in an emergency I am to vamp first and ask questions later.

I still haven't told Esme yet and if Em doesn't quit it with the chicken impressions I'm going to have to remind him who wears the pants in this relationship.

He and Pete have already got their new business sussed out, I can't see the appeal of wood working and making furniture but as long as it keeps the two boneheads out of trouble while we're at school I'll let that go.

With Bella's help Char and I have found the perfect property on the edge of our new home town, plenty of room, acres of land and a cluster of outbuildings for the Balsa Wood Boys to set up in. Since interior decorating leaves me cold Char has taken charge and in true lady of the manor style is setting up an impressive home for us.

Our other big project is persuading Bella to attend her own graduation. I don't want to force her to do anything she doesn't want to, within reason, but I can't understand why she won't take her new found confidence and whip her classmates, losers every one, soundly in the face with it. Work in progress.

And of course there has to be a cloud on the horizon. My initial relief at Jazz's unexpected restraint has been replaced by a small fear that by not taking advantage of her he might actually have done even more damage. I can't quite put my finger on it but somehow whenever she gets a faraway look in her eye I don't think it's the Ed Head she's contemplating. I've asked her about him and while I'm pretty sure it's not love I think that Major Seduction has left an impression on her that might take a while to fade.

**BPOV**

Edward's absence is a blessed relief. I've hurt him but like the coward I am I don't want to have to see it every day.

Jasper's absence is more complex. I'm not naïve enough to imagine some great romance between us, he's an asshole, but I do have a deep sense of unfinished business. It doesn't help that the main topic of conversation at school is how to lose your v card before graduation.

I'm pretty sure losing your card to a vampire lothario would beat Jessica's whispered confession to a successful fumble with Mike Newton, which didn't sound very sexy at all. For once Lauren's lagging behind and is aiming all her big guns at the captain of the football team. I can't see that ending well, I'm pretty sure he was last in the line when they were handing out brains but he does seem sweetly devoted to his girlfriend, who isn't anything like Lauren.

Angela and Ben are still full on and I respect her too much to ask about their sexual status. Tyler's found love with a girl down at La Push and he's also keeping a lid on his progress.

Which leaves Eric Yorkie who seems to have all his, slim, hopes pinned on me.

I look out across the lunchroom with a critical eye, I guess I'll be going to college a virgin. I can't help but smile as I consider Rosalie's description of Fresher's Week, apparently I won't need to remain one for long if I'm so inclined. I've changed a lot in the last couple of months, for one reason or another but I haven't quite changed that much. I don't think one night stands will ever be my style and thanks to how much I've experienced I no longer believe I could meet and fall in love in a week.

"So Bella." Mike captures my attention. "Are you coming to Jessica's graduation party or not?"

"I don't know Mike, I'm not really a party person, you know that."

"Come on." Angela urges. "It will be our last chance to let our hair down together before we go off to college."

Her brown eyes engage pleadingly me with mine.

"_Angela_." I groan.

She bounces up and down in her chair. "She's weakening, she's weakening!"

"Oh leave her alone Webber." Lauren drawls. "She won't come if her precious Cullens aren't there."

"There's no need to be a jealous bitch." Angela snaps, surprising the hell out of me.

All around jaws are resting on the table.

"How dare you call me a bitch!" Lauren howls in outrage.

"Oh get over yourself." Angela huffs.

"Fight, fight, fight." The chant goes up.

"Yeah _Angela_." Lauren growls getting to her feet. "Care to back that opinion up with some action?"

"Why not?" Angela purrs, unfolding herself to her full and impressive height.

"What are you doing?" I hiss, clutching at her hand.

"Shaking off years of oppression." She says with a shaky laugh.

"Are you crazy?" Ben interjects.

"Crazy like a fox." She mutters non-sensically.

"Your dad will kill you." I point out.

"Nah." She whispers. "He'll do that when he finds out I'm pregnant."

Exchanging worried glances Ben and I follow Angela, Lauren and the baying mob outside.

Lauren is queening it, playing to the crowd like a pro.

Angela has a disturbingly calm smile on her face as she waits for Lauren's attention.

Lauren turns towards her making a great show of balling her fist and Angela's long arm lashes out slapping an unprepared Lauren soundly on the cheek.

Snarling Lauren starts forward winding her fist back like a cartoon character. Instinctively I leap at her, wrapping my arms around her and bearing her to the ground.

We roll around on the concrete with her squealing like a stuck pig and me growling like a vampire. She pulls my hair and I knee her rather pointlessly in the groin. The crowd's shouts roar in my ears as we grapple with each other. Somehow I manage to get her onto her back beneath me and without thinking I slam my curled fist into her jaw.

Pain explodes in my hand.

…..

Carlisle smiles at me in sympathy as an extremely irate Charlie strides into the emergency room.

"Fighting?" He demands.

"I didn't start it." I protest lamely.

"I heard that." He snorts. "Are you going to tell my why you finished it?"

I shake my head. Not going to tell him I was protecting a pregnant woman. No way.

"You're lucky you didn't break her jaw." Charlie huffs. "I'm almost glad it was only you that got damaged."

I watch him in wary silence as Carlisle finishes splinting my broken hand.

"You'll be fine." He says soothingly as he fills out a prescription for pain meds and details how I need to care for it if I want to avoid a cast.

Charlie clamps me to his side as he fills out the forms for my treatment and then propels me out to the cruiser.

At home he waits with folded arms while I struggle out of my jacket and settle on the couch.

"Don't ever do that again." He says eventually. "Violence does not solve anything."

"I know, I'm sorry Ch-Dad."

"I'm sure you are and I'm sure you had your reasons, which is the _only_ reason I'm not grounding you. The last few weeks of high school are a highly charged powder keg, try to avoid igniting it again."

"Okay."

He shakes his head slowly.

"I need to get back to work. You should rest or something."

"Okay."

I choke down a couple of Carlisle's tablets and close my eyes. Angela is pregnant and I punched Lauren. Strange day.

I wake with a start, something cold pressed against my face.

"Jeez, Rosalie!"

"Pete told me about your hand. Does it hurt?"

"Yes."

"Next time don't clench it and remember not to tuck your thumb in."

"Next time I'll just butt out if that's okay with you."

She laughs and withdraws slightly.

"Alice and Jasper are back, I thought you might like to come over and stir up some trouble."

I open my mouth to object and she laughs again.

"Joke Bella, funny haha?"

"Humph."

"Well, they are back but that's neither here nor there. I'm running out of time to tell Esme about college and everything, I thought it might go down easier if you're there as well."

"Alright." I agree grudgingly.

"Ed's due back tomorrow too."

I roll my eyes. "Can I bring Pete and Char, for moral support, since they're in this too."

"Wuss." She snorts.

I can't help but laugh, we both know she should have told Esme a long time ago.

"I'll pick you up from school tomorrow." She growls stalking to the door. "Try not to dress like a bag lady, impressions are important."

I poke my tongue out at her when I'm sure she won't see me. And then with a sigh I text Char to ask if she wants to come shopping with me in Port Angeles.

An hour later, why do vampires all drive like lunatics, we're in the department store wrangling good naturedly about whether or not I'm ready for a dress. I'm firmly on the no side but the glamour puss is being unusually pushy on the subject.

"It doesn't have to be short Bella and it doesn't need to have a plunging neckline, besides you'll be wearing it to school and that wouldn't be appropriate." She sounds patient but I can see a tiny muscle twitching in her cheek.

"I'm not a dress person." I protest.

"How do you know if you've never worn one?"

I roll my eyes. Of course I've worn a dress before. Twice I think.

"You can be very childish." She growls narrowing her eyes at me. "Would you prefer some shiny shorts and a pair of boxing gloves?"

"Yes, excellent idea, let's go to the sports department."

"Grrr! Just try one okay, there's one here that will go with your boots, how does that sound?"

"I don't know why I thought I needed something new to wear." I groan as I follow her obediently to the changing rooms. "It's not like there'll be anyone there who'll notice."

"Bella." Her voice drifts through the door as I strip down. "Every girl wants to look her best when she sees her ex after a breakup even if it was her idea. Besides, J will be there."

"Char." I warn her.

"Oh alright. _Sorry Alice_." She mutters sarcastically. "Here, this is a plunge bra, it will work with the dress."

Something black, shiny, and frankly scary sails over the door.

"There's a bit missing." I squeak after I've untangled it from my hair.

"That would be the plunge part. Jeez Bella are you a woman or a mouse?"

With trepidation I take my comfy old maid bra off and replace with the new one. Hello cleavage.

"Why do I need this if the dress isn't low cut?" I ask her suspiciously as I slip it off its hangar.

"Because all the men present tomorrow night will be taller than you." She says as if it's the most reasonable thing in the world.

"_Char_."

"Oh stop whining." She giggles.

I turn in front of the mirror surveying myself critically. The dress is a soft brown which almost perfectly matches my boots and sets off the chestnut tones in my hair. From straight ahead there isn't even a hint of cleavage, just dainty collar bones and my throat. It clings very slightly to my chest and hips, moving fluidly with me as wriggle inside it and hangs about an inch below the top of my boots.

Wow.

"It's too tight." I object after a minute of scrutiny.

"I knew you'd say that, try this."

A brown shawl floats over the door.

"Um?"

"Oh for god's sake, let me in."

I unlock the door and she blurs around me, wrapping and tucking.

"There. Modesty preserved, what do you think?"

I blink at myself in surprise, the shawl takes the edge off the clingy nature of the dress but somehow accentuates it. Hinting rather than revealing.

"Now." She says with satisfaction. "You look like the beautiful, classy young woman you are."


	28. Chapter 28

**Disclaimer: Stephanie Meyer owns all.**

**Rated M for several reasons.**

**Chpt 27 An Announcement**

**BPOV**

In the morning I put some light make up on and slip into my dress.

I admire myself in the mirror for a moment.

Then change into my jeans.

Walking out to my truck I fish in my bag for my keys and run straight into a large immovable object.

"Oh no little one." Pete wags his finger in my face. "I am under strict instructions to drive you to school _in _your new dress."

"Where's Char?" I huff.

"I have exhausted her with my sexual prowess and she's havin' a lie down."

"Ew. Gross."

"It most certainly was not." He objects. "And stop changin' the subject, get changed or we'll be late."

With a martyred sigh I return and put the dress on, carrying the shawl, which I have no idea how to arrange.

To my surprise Pete grabs it and does an expert job.

"How do you know how to tie a shawl?" I ask as he hefts me into his truck.

"I have been married a long time Bells, one learns a thing or two if one wants to keep one's bits in perfect workin' order."

He drops me at the steps to maximise my embarrassment and when I'm halfway up leans out and hollers.

"Thanks baby! You rocked my world!"

Gritting my teeth and willing my blush into submission I hold my head up high and stare straight ahead.

Yeah, Peter Perfect dropped me off. Yep, wearing a dress. Yes, I broke my hand on Lauren's face.

"Wow. Bella. Looking hot."

"Morning Eric. Thanks." I keep walking and he falls into step beside me.

"You on a promise?"

"No. Having dinner with the Cullens tonight."

"Have you thought any more about Jessica's party?"

"No, not really, I guess I'll go if Angela wants me to."

"Great, we could go together, if you want."

"I'm not sure Eric, I'm still not ready to date."

"I don't have a date either, I could pick you up, less embarrassing to arrive together?"

"I'll think about, okay?"

"Cool." Happy he trots off to his first class.

Inwardly I groan, where's my inner Rosalie when I need her.

The day drags by slowly. Lauren's not in so at least I don't have to face her straight away. The whole school however is buzzing with highly exaggerated accounts of yesterday's fight and everyone is casting covert glances at me. Not bad for a girl who likes to avoid the limelight.

I'm really nervous about seeing Edward and strangely grateful that Char made sure I got dressed up, clothes really do affect your mood and your confidence. I feel something about seeing Jasper again but I'm refusing to think about what that might be and it pales into insignificance compared to my Edward based fears.

In the parking lot after school I find Em leaning against his new truck looking absurdly sexy in sweatpants and a much too tight t-shirt.

I get a wolf whistle as I approach which has me giggling and blushing.

"Looking hot Bells." He says pulling me in for a tight hug. "Any schoolboys here I need to have a word with?"

"We're good." I assure him, hustling him into the truck before he can do anything to embarrass me. He's not quite as full on about it as Pete but he definitely gets a kick out making me blush.

"Is Edward home?" I ask as we drive out of town.

"Yeah, Alice is giving him a makeover. She wants him to look pretty for you."

I groan, not happy that she stills seem to think Edward and I have a future together. She's not usually wrong and it scares me that I find the thought of a future with Edward depressing.

"She sees the outcomes of decisions." Em says, knowing my concerns. "And not nearly as often as she likes to make people think. Don't sweat it Bells, you've made your mind up and no one can change it but you."

Rosalie is waiting for us at the bottom of the drive and Em slows down, barely, so she can hop in.

"Sorry I didn't pick you up." She says. "I needed to hunt."

I know she can go much longer than any of the others without hunting so I raise my eyebrow questioningly.

"She's just nervous about telling Esme we're leaving." Em chuckles.

"Ouch!" He squeals as her stone hand whips around me and slaps him upside the head.

She gives me a small tense smile and I return it in kind, it's not exactly going to be a fun evening for any of us.

Carlisle greets us in the living room, looking up from his thick medical textbook.

"Hello Bella, you look very nice, how is the hand?"

"Okay thanks, as long as I remember to take the pills."

"That would be best." He chuckles, getting up and giving me a quick hug. "If you'll excuse me for a minute your arrival has reminded me that I promised Esme to refill the generator, I will be in a lot of trouble if the lights go out suddenly."

"Where is Esme?" Rosalie asks and he smiles at her gently.

"She's in the shower, she's been gardening. Relax Rose, she'll be okay."

"I'm going to get a shower too." She announces suddenly flitting upstairs.

"You'd better go with her." I motion to Em.

"You sure?" He asks practically hopping from foot to foot in his desire to comfort her.

"Yes, go, I'll be fine."

He gives me a bone crushing hug and darts over Rosalie.

With a sigh I sink down into the couch, as always the house is preternaturally quiet.

A cool hand rests lightly on my shoulder, thumb caressing my neck.

"Sore hand darlin'?" He drawls softly.

"You're supposed to be staying away from me." I whisper as shivers dance up and down my spine.

"I'm supposed to be a lot of things." He chuckles quietly.

"Everybody will smell your scent on me." I hiss.

"Ah now, that's why I have this little fella." His other hand comes into view with a big fat spider resting on his palm.

Shrieking in fear I leap to my feet and in a very nifty vampire impression streak across the room so fast everything becomes a blur.

While I catch my breath and glare at him the rest of the Cullens stampede into the room in various states of undress.

"Jeez Jazz, that was quick work even for you." Em laughs, tugging at the cord on his sweatpants.

"She had a spider in her hair." Jasper says in a wounded tone showing them his little friend.

"Jazzy, put that thing outside and come and help me with my dress." Alice snaps.

"Yes ma'am." He replies winking at me as saunters into the kitchen.

Drama over they melt away, leaving me alone with Edward.

"You look beautiful." He says with a shy smile.

"Thanks, Char made me buy a dress."

"You should wear them more often, they flatter you."

"You're wearing a suit." I observe unable to think of anything else to say.

"Yes." He laughs. "Alice has been shopping in New York, it's easier if you let her pick your wardrobe."

I nod in perfect understanding and he does a twirl for me.

"Very nice." I murmur, suddenly uncomfortable.

"The spider's gone, you can sit down now."

"Oh, yes." Quickly I sit down in the armchair. "So, um, how was Denali?"

"It was okay, not exactly a vacation."

"No. I suppose not."

"How have you been?"

"Okay, great. Looking forward to finishing school."

Oh god, this is awkward, even Jasper's spider would be welcome about now.

"Eddie Boy!" Pete exclaims bouncing into the room. "What's with the suit? Goin' to a funeral?"

"It's the latest European chic." Alice snarls, entering the room with smirking Jasper in tow.

"Fuck me Alice." Pete narrows his eyes. "You haven't got J one too have you? He's a cowboy not a door to door salesman."

Alice glares at him and tugs Jasper over to the couch on the opposite side of the room to me, which unfortunately means he can make eyes at me without obstruction. I feel like a rabbit in the headlights as they bore into mine. I can't help it, intellectually I know it's wrong and I'm not even sure I like him, but on a physical level I'm drawn to him like a moth to a flame. His cool lips and hard body have certainly been starring my in dreams a lot while he's been away. He smiles reading my emotions, and then looks away, releasing me.

Em joins us, shaking out his wet hair like a dog, and sitting on the floor in front of my chair.

"Have we got any wine for Bella?" Pete asks. "The wife always appreciates a good sniff too."

"I'll get it." Edward offers disappearing into the kitchen.

"Where _is_ Char?" I ask Pete.

"In the cloakroom sortin' out her hair." He laughs. "She put perfume on so I made her stick her head out of the window on the way over. Smell's impossible to get out of the upholstery an' it ain't manly."

Edward returns and hands me a medium sized glass of cold white wine.

"Oh, I love that one." Char squeals, appearing from nowhere and practically sticking her nose in the glass. "It's got a lovely hint of lemon in it, sip it slowly Bella."

"Were you a lush in your human life Charlotte?" Alice asks perfectly politely.

"Not that I can remember Alice, but then I can't remember much, you know how that is."

Ouch.

"Char." Jasper's voice holds a stern warning.

"Sorry J." She mutters, dropping me a wink and sinking into the other couch. Pete immediately sits next to her draping his arm protectively across her shoulders.

Rosalie ambles in, looking immaculate as always and sits down next to Em, effectively squashing my legs in between them.

"Do you like Edward's suit Bella?" Alice asks.

"Um, yes, it's very smart."

"Oh don't lie Bells." Pete drawls. "We all know your more of a jeans girl, I'm surprised you missed that Alice, what with your gift an' all."

Jasper reaches his hand up to push his hair behind his ears, masking his smile from Alice.

I blush furiously, I was always more enamoured of what Edward's clothes might be hiding than what he actually wore. And god knows Jasper's jeans have made an impression on me.

"Nonsense Peter." Alice says crisply. "Every girl likes a man in a suit."

"I don't." Rosalie chips in. "I prefer my man in loose fitting sweat pants and a t-shirt several sizes too small."

Em takes a little bow as everyone laughs, that's exactly what he's wearing.

"I prefer my men in nothin' at all, don't I Petey?" Char simpers giving me a rare peek at her trailer trash persona, the one I've learnt she reserves mainly for Alice and human men who stare at her boobs.

Alice swells with indignation and an outbreak of open hostility is averted when Carlisle and Esme come down the stairs hand in hand.

"Isn't it lovely to have everyone here?" She says happily, tucking herself into his side like a well-fitting jigsaw piece.

"It certainly is." Carlisle beams around at us all with his megawatt smile, the one you can't help but respond to.

I feel Rosalie take a deep breath and without thinking I reach out and pat her shoulder, she turns and smiles at me in surprise and Em squeezes my leg in gratitude.

"Actually I'm glad we're all here, Em and I have an announcement to make." She says, no trace of nerves in her haughty voice.

"Not another honeymoon." Alice groans. "We've only just got back together again."

"No Alice." She says icily. "Em and I are going away to college with Bella, Char and Pete."

Alice and Esme gasp loudly, the only ones who didn't know.

"Oh Rosalie." Esme wails, rushing across the room and gathering her first daughter into her arms.

She buries her face in Rosalie's hair and whispers quietly. "I'll be so miserable without you but I'm so happy that you're ready to fly the nest and start a family of your own." Carlisle and Em both told Rosalie that Esme would understand.

I hear Rosalie sob and Em and I carefully avert our gaze, neither of us wants to be disembowelled later for witnessing her emotional moment.

The rest of the room looks on, unaware of Esme's words, only Jasper, Pete and Char probably able to guess. We knew from the outset that when we moved away to college together we would effectively be starting our own coven, as did Carlisle. Just as we all knew that Rosalie would be our Queen Bee.

"That's incredibly selfish Rose." Alice pipes up. "What about Edward and the rest of your family. What are we all supposed to do while you live it up at college with Bella for the next few years?"

"Alice." Carlisle explains. "Bella has agreed to be changed after college. The five of them will be forming their own coven."

This time it's Alice and Edward who gasp in surprise, I guess he didn't manage to pluck that out of anyone's head.

Edward's pained eyes dart to mine and I smile apologetically. Maybe I should have told him first but we aren't together anymore and he didn't want me forever, my new family do.

"What are you going to be?" Jasper asks Rose with amusement. "Whitlock Hales or Hale Whitlocks?"

"Whitlocks." Rosalie answers somewhat shyly, extracting herself slightly from Esme's arms.

"That's a very fine name, I'm honoured Blondie."

"Yeah well." She snarks, recovering herself fully. "We didn't decide it in your honour, Pete threatened to pin me down and cut my hair off if we used anything else. He's too lazy to re-forge all his documents."

Jasper throws his head back and the rich deep sound of his laugh fills the room, Pete's complimenting it. They really are like brothers.

"I suspected something like this was going to happen." Esme laugh-sobs. "I'm so happy for you all but I hope we can stay a family? I quite like the idea of being Bella's grandmother if I can't be her mother."

I glance around as the room surges into life with a round of hugs, almost everyone seems happy. But Edward is struggling to raise a smile and Alice's face is frozen in an expression of profound shock.


	29. Chapter 29

**Disclaimer: Stephanie Meyer owns all.**

**Rated M for several reasons. Oops, I think someone's gonna slip on a lemon rind.**

**Chpt 28 A Proposition**

**BPOV**

After a toast with champagne, I drank, Char sniffed appreciatively and everyone else swirled their glass around and looked slightly uncomfortable, Pete took me home so I could make dinner for Charlie.

One of his deputies has been off sick for while which is why he's been doing mostly nights but he's also been going in during the day. I couldn't remember the last time I saw him eat a proper meal so I've ordered him home tonight.

It's a nice couple of hours. We talk about college and I break the news that Rosalie and Em are coming with us, he already knew about Char and seemed happy that I'd be going with someone I know. He's less happy about the Cullens even though I took great pains to assure him that Edward would _not _be coming with us.

"Families visit each other Bells." Was his final dark comment. He's so not team Edward.

He sympathised with my desire to dodge my own graduation ceremony but then artlessly laid a guilt trip on me about Renee. Although we speak on the phone regularly and email each other constantly she hasn't seen me since I first slipped into my zombie coma and he thinks it would be nice for her to be able to come to Forks and see me do something positive. She's been badgering me about booking flights and hotels and I've been putting it off, hoping that some miracle would occur.

Charlie watches me as he sips his coke, a small smile playing on his lips.

I wriggle, I squirm and finally I huff.

"Okay, fine, I'll go."

He hides his smile well and busies himself putting the dishes in the sink.

"A wise choice Bells. Very noble. Who knows, you might even enjoy it."

I snort.

Dropping a kiss on the top of my head he goes back to work and I get up to do the dishes.

I suppose it won't be too bad, maybe there is something Char can do to make me and the yellow gown less than mortal enemies. Besides once I leave for college there's a chance that I might never see my hair brained mother again.

It's a bit strange, growing up she was my best friend and I love her dearly and yet of all the things that might hold me back from being a Whitlock she isn't one of them. Possibly because if she could know, she would understand, maybe even approve.

I feel far more guilt about leaving Charlie, the father I barely knew who it turns out is the template on which I'm based. Leaving him will be very hard. I shake myself out of that line of thought, I have time, and I _am_ actually planning to finish college before I take the final step.

Chores done I take a long soak in the tub. Tomorrow is Saturday and I have arranged to go out for lunch with Angela, apparently there is a lot she needs to tell me.

Once again exhausted I ensconce myself in my welcoming bed with a tired yawn and a small smile, maybe I do have narcolepsy. Spider wielding weirdo.

…..

Lunch is an interesting experience. I can't really empathise with her, well I can I suppose, if he didn't have issues I would have been naked under Edward a long time ago so I guess if he'd been human it might have been me in her position.

Having no desire to have children myself I'm not much use on her moral dilemma on whether to not to go through with the pregnancy, have the baby adopted or take the other hard choice. I can totally sympathise with their desire to put off telling their parents as long as possible.

Ben, bless him, is adamant that he will stand by her no matter what she chooses. How different their relationship is to my only experience, both totally on the same page, freaked out but planning to face up to it together. Next time I have a hard decision to make I'm going to ask to borrow her panties, maybe I could grow into them one day.

Still somewhat awed I agree to go to Jessica's party with the two of them, Angela has a sort of last chance saloon attitude to it, and then I make my way back home to do my chores. Great emotional upheavals come and go but life goes on and the toilet bowl still needs to be scrubbed.

I rumble along in my truck pondering the strangeness of life and how it turns out differently for each of us. Of my classmates some have already got jobs lined up, some are going off to college, some like Angela are suddenly finding themselves having to make decisions they weren't expecting and yet of all us are taking risks. Going onto the next phase of our lives with no idea how it will turn out, it's no wonder we're all on edge and acting strangely, obsessed with the little things we think we can control.

My first visitor is Char, for a serious discussion about my new bedroom. I have no idea and no money but somehow we manage to agree on something which I like and Char won't want to pretend to throw up over. We also book a shopping session to get an outfit for Jessica's party.

My second visitor is Edward. Wearing jeans and looking about as comfortable in them as I would in high heels.

"So you're going to be a vampire?" He asks after our awkward greeting is out of the way.

"Eventually." Without him my age when I change is no longer such an issue.

"I don't know how I feel about that." He confesses.

"It was inevitable from the moment I met you. You were the only one who couldn't see it."

"Rose was against it, then."

"That didn't mean she couldn't see it." I point out, that was after all her problem all along.

"I wish . . . ."

"Edward." I interrupt. "I don't, not anymore."

"I still hope."

"Why?" Please don't hope. Please.

"Alice."

I pinch the bridge of my nose, something I've seen him do a thousand times. Was it frustration? Because that's what I'm feeling now.

"This is my life Edward. Not yours, not Alice's."

I stare at him, willing myself not to show any sign of weakness.

"I'd better go."

I nod.

He leaves.

Time to scrub the toilet bowl.

My third visitor is Jessica, happy that I'm coming to her party and wanting to know if Groundskeeper Pete will be coming too. Hardly, I trust him not to eat anyone but god knows what trouble he'd be able to cause in a house full of drunken teenagers.

Visitor four is Pete himself. Char's 'deathday' is coming up and my advice is apparently required on a suitable present. We spend an amusing hour researching her southern roots on the internet and come up with a winner, we hope.

His devotion to her is amazing and I'm still mulling over the downside of living in a house with two loving couples when visitor number five arrives.

My stomach turns over slowly and my mouth goes dry as he stalks me purposefully up against the bannister, poking the front door closed with his foot as he passes.

I open my mouth to object to his presence but with lightning fast reactions he fists his hands in my hair, shoves his thigh between my already trembling ones and covers my mouth with his own, sucking the breath out of me and leaving me gasping.

"I've missed you." He growls transferring his attention to my neck, tongue licking at the pebbled flesh there.

"Why are you doing this?" I whimper, my hands automatically coming up so that my fingers can roam through the silk of his hair.

"Because you're going to college soon and I won't be able to."

"But. _Why_?"

"I want to make love to you." He pulls back slightly to look into my eyes. "I want to be your first. Wouldn't you like it to be _me_, rather than some sweaty fumbling college freshman?"

I shake my head mutely and he leans down, ghosting his lips across mine, noses rubbing together.

"The truth, Bella." He purrs.

I shake my head again. You're Alice's husband. I'm not ready for my PhD. I haven't shaved my legs. You're married. I don't love you, you don't love me. I'm not ready. I want you.

His hands move in my hair, pulling it gently, finger nails dragging lightly across my scalp.

"The truth." He presses, tearing it from me.

"Yes." I concede, so quiet only a vampire would hear.

His eyes blaze with triumph as his cool lips press harder against mine, his tongue slipping between them, taking possession of my mouth, in complete control.

It doesn't even occur to me to resist, fingers tangling in his hair, body pressing against him as close as it can get.

I want him. I want him in a far more visceral way than I ever wanted Edward. I don't even properly understand what my _want_ is, all I know is that whenever he's around my head says stop but my body commits sabotage on the brakes.

His tongue explores the inside of my mouth with purposeful strokes pulling tingling warmth up from my suddenly aching core and sending moisture down into my panties as his body undulates against mine. The feel of him moving against me, solid chest massaging my tender breasts, drives me into a frenzied state where I don't know who or what I am except a willing recipient of whatever he's prepared to give me.

My pulse thuds in my ears but the sound of his heavy breathing melding with my harsh panting almost drowns it out. Music, it's like music. Perfect and right.

With a groan he releases my hair and drops his arms to wind around my waist lifting me up so I can wrap my legs round him, his big hands sliding down to grasp the back of my thighs in an almost painful grip.

The gentle grinding of his hips now has his hard length rubbing directly against me through our jeans, the friction rapidly turning the tingling warmth in my body into an electrical fire. My misbehaving hands drop down to his ass trying to get him closer, grinding harder. Obediently he increases the pressure and immediately it's almost too much, with a gasp I arch my upper body away from him, head falling back, the chords in my neck stretching out against the tension building within me.

He transfers his mouth to my exposed neck, lip covered teeth nibbling and biting at my skin as he continues to rotate his hips into me.

Oh my god. I recognise the feeling spreading out from the center of me and I want to tell him to stop but I can't, I couldn't if my life depended on it. I'm going to . . . .

With a soft cry I reach my orgasm, sweat springing out on my skin, every muscle shaking with heat and pleasure, fireworks exploding behind my eyelids, wet heat soaking my panties. He continues to rock into me gently and I ride out waves of pulsating bliss I didn't know I could have, my walls fluttering and clenching with a life of their own.

Little by little his movements still, his breathing slowing with mine as I relax gradually back into my startled brain and gratified body.

No, no, no. What have I done?

"Don't." He whispers as he peppers my throat and face with delicate kisses. "Don't do that to yourself."

"Jasper, I . . . ."

He kisses me again, silencing me, and this time it's so relaxed and sweet I actually sigh into his mouth.

Eventually he pulls away, easing me back onto my feet and wrapping his arms tightly around me, face buried in my hair.

I inhale deeply, his fresh cotton scent oddly soothing.

With a sigh he releases me, caressing my jaw with his thumb.

"You've promised yourself to me, I hope you know that." His voice is gentle, expression indecipherable, gold eyes dark.

Uncomfortably warm I'm totally unable to respond.

Leaning down he places a kiss on the end of my nose before turning abruptly and striding away.

As soon as the door closes behind him I slide down the bannisters to the floor, pulling my knees up and hugging them tightly.


	30. Chapter 30

**Disclaimer: Stephanie Meyer owns all.**

**Rated M for several reasons. **

**Chpt 29 Deal With the Devil**

**BPOV**

I should call Char, she would be very amused and inappropriately supportive.

Instead I call Rosalie. Who will probably hurt me, possibly by grinding the broken bones in my hand together, then make me feel better with her medical degree so she can hurt me again.

I let her in and lead her into the kitchen so I can nurse my cup of coffee.

"Well." She drawls taking a deep breath. "Unless Emo Ed's suddenly got his act together I'm assuming Major Seduction's been over?"

I nod miserably.

"What happened?" She asks more gently.

I roll my eyes at her and let my blush speak for me.

"Bella, I can't help you if you don't tell me what happened."

"Okay, but can you please stop smirking at me?"

She passes her hand over her face and makes a great show of wiping the grin off her lips and arranging her features into a neutral expression. She's really not taking this as seriously as I expected.

After a deep breath I proceed to give her nearly all the details, stumbling over my words occasionally when it looks like she's about to burst into fits of giggles.

"You're not taking this seriously." I object when I'm done.

"Oh Bella, I did tell you he's more of a PhD level study."

"What am I going to do?" I wail.

"Put your head between your legs and kiss your virginity goodbye?"

"Rosalie!"

"Do whatever you want to do."

"He said I'd promised myself to him." I remind her.

"Oh Bella." She laughs. "He might be a very bad boy but he won't force you. Frankly I think you've got two hopes of saying no when the time comes. Bob Hope and no hope. But the choice is still yours."

"What do you mean, when the time comes?"

"Well he's obviously quite serious about it." She muses. "They haven't even been back a day yet and he's already made his move."

They. Oh god.

"Alice." I mumble, dropping my head into my hands. "She'll know, she'll see, she'll know I let him . . . ."

"Bella, do you think Jazz would ever manage to cheat on Alice if he didn't have a way around her visions? As for you, by the look of you a conscious decision was the last thing on your, er, mind."

"I'm a slut." I sigh miserably.

"I wouldn't go quite that far." She laughs. "Don't forget your eighteen years old and Jazz has had over a century to perfect his technique."

"Aren't you angry with me?" I still can't lift my head up to look her in the eye.

"No. I'm not even annoyed with him although I probably should be. We'll be leaving in a few weeks anyway. I l-like you Bella and honestly if you're going to give it up for anyone it might as well be to an expert."

That gets my head up.

"You think I should do it?" I squeal in horror.

"Why not?" She shrugs watching me intently.

"I don't love him, I don't even think I like him!"

"So? Haven't you learnt anything these last couple of months? Life isn't all about chocolate boxes and roses, sometimes it's just about living. You could do a lot worse, Eric, for example."

"Alice is your sister!"

"And she's as guilty of the situation they're in as he is. She should have gelded him the first time he did it."

Her tone leaves me in no doubt what would happen to Em should he ever slip up, not that it would happen, he worships the ground she stalks on.

"I can't do it, it's just too . . . ." Cold, clinical, premeditated? Tempting? Wrong? Wrong, definitely wrong.

"Let me ask you something." Her smirk is back. "If he hadn't left this afternoon what would have happened?"

"At the cabin he said I wouldn't go through with it." I hedge.

She throws her head back and laughs.

"Oh Bella, you're so naïve. I'm _surprised_ but now I think he stopped things in the cabin because he knew you weren't ready."

"I'm still not ready." I mutter dropping my head back into my hands.

"Oh, I think you're getting there." She drawls knowingly.

After she'd enjoyed an hour or so of my continued discomfort she left me to it, her final advice, delivered with a smirk, to avoid him like the plague.

Great.

Avoid a vampire.

In Forks.

The rest of Saturday drags by into Sunday. The Cullen 'kids' have gone into Portland where they can got to a club without attracting unwanted attention. Alice loves to dance and Rosalie just likes to be admired.

With nothing to do I soak in the tub, attend to my steadily increasing beauty regime and go to bed early.

Sunday I sort out graduation details with an ecstatic Renee, do my chores, cook up a batch of meals for Charlie to heat whenever he gets to come home and generally fret.

My life is about to change so much I have plenty to fret about but the main subject I keep returning to is Jasper.

Jasper, Jasper, Jasper, Jasper, Jasper.

He wants to make love to me. Shiver in delight. He wants to be my first. Shiver in fear. The two things seem to be very closely related. He's married. Groan in self-disgust.

Because I'm oh so tempted.

And terrified.

If I had dollar for every time I inspected my naked body in my bedroom mirror this weekend I'd have been able to buy the sleigh bed Char was pushing for.

I cannot for life of me understand why Jasper is interested in me. I am the dictionary definition of ordinary. Average looks, average height, and soft squishy, even for a human, body. Ordinary. It's not even like I have a great gift to bestow on him in the bedroom, I have only the haziest, sex ed and lunchroom, knowledge of what's involved.

By the time I get to bed on Sunday night I have reached only one conclusion. Whether he's just teasing me, it's not beyond the realms of imagination, or he's completely serious I _will _be avoiding him like the plague because I absolutely do _not_ trust me.

I am a bad person.

The days tick by and gradually my obsession with the Jasper situation recedes. I haven't seen him and I haven't spoken to him. Eventually the whole episode takes on an almost surreal quality in my mind, like another one of my Jasper centric dreams.

Char and Rosalie force me to Seattle to get an outfit for Jessica's party. In some far off portion of my brain I knew it would be a dress but despite this the three of us went through the ritual. I moaned. I complained. I behaved like a spoilt brat. And finally I picked a dress that positively _glamorised_ my meagre assets in a color that made me feel daring and bold, a deep rich crimson. And shoes, with what Rosalie condescendingly called 'training heels'.

I've started packing my stuff, Renee's bringing the rest with her from Jackson, sorting out my room and just generally preparing to fly the nest. I am sad and excited about the whole thing. Thanks to the Cullens I never really got close to my classmates or anyone else in town but I will miss Angela, she was always there in the background, silently supporting me.

The atmosphere at school is getting more and more hyper and prank dodging has become my number one activity. Since last Tuesday, when some wag slipped scotch bonnet peppers into Lauren's sandwich while she wasn't looking. Not that is wasn't funny, but well, the price of dignity is eternal vigilance.

I've broken the news to Eric that I won't be going to the party with him and he promised to meet me there so clearly I've still some work to do on making my true feelings known. A night of awkwardness, embarrassment and Eric evading awaits me but I promised Angela.

But first, my mom.

Charlie's gone to pick her up from Port Angeles, Phil couldn't come he's busy at work. And I'm glad, as much as I like Phil I was really nervous about having him around Charlie. Not because I think there'd be trouble, just that Charlie barely dates and I kind of assume it's because he's still hung up on Renee. I wish I could ask him but I know how I'd react to a question like that and I am my father's daughter.

I've made up a floor bed in my room, borrowed some of Char's cushions, stocked the fridge with what Charlie calls girlie food and a couple of bottles of wine Char recommended, rented two movies guaranteed to get Renee and I bawling our eyes out and made a three course meal for Charlie to take to Harry's where he'll be hiding for the night.

Wanting it to be perfect I'm running through the checklist in my head when a knock at the door startles me.

There's no one there but resting on the porch is a single red rose.

I pick it up with a sinking heart, Eric. He's been extraordinarily attentive the last couple of days, despite my best efforts to remain aloof, yesterday he brought a slice of coffee and walnut cake into school for me and the day before he undertook Edward's abandoned protective duties in gym.

Sniffing it appreciatively I take it indoors and hunt through the cupboards for a vase. I'm just trying to decide where to put it when the door bursts open and the force of nature that is my mom explodes through it, a smirking Charlie following on behind with her bags.

"Bella!" She shrieks as she envelops me in a hug. "You look so grown up."

"Hey mom." I wheeze out, her grip is vampire like.

Wordlessly, Charlie removes the vase from my outstretched hand and takes it into the kitchen. As Renee talks a dime a dozen he smiles at me, sets her bags on the floor by the stairs and bows out theatrically.

"Oh. He's gone." She exclaims when she finally releases me.

"He's going to Harry's."

"Harry." She snorts. "He was always either at work or with Harry. Maybe he should have married Harry. Or Billy."

And then she laughs.

"Oh darling. I'm so happy to see you!"

"Me too. I've missed you." I squeak. Cue my tears. And another rib crushing hug from Renee.

When we've soaked each other enough I take her bags upstairs while she raids the fridge and pours two enormous glasses of wine.

And so begins the third degree.

We cover the heavily edited highlights of why I'm not with Edward any more, she hates him far less than Charlie does and I'm not sure if that's because she didn't see everything I went through or because at heart she's an incurable romantic. She's very curious to meet him at the ceremony tomorrow and I'm don't know how I feel about that. Nervous probably. Both he and Alice are graduating but I never asked how they managed that when they've missed so much school.

She plies me with questions about school and friends, including any possible Edward replacements on the horizon, disappointed when I tell her that Eric is the only candidate.

And then, over girlie food, we talk about college and how wonderful she thinks it is that I have friends to go with. She's so excited for me to have all the opportunities that she didn't that her list of things to do at while I'm there is as long as my arm. Including losing my virginity, which has me spitting wine all over the cushions. Sensitive subject. Fortunately she's too excited to notice.

Most of the first movie is ignored as we catch up on what she and Phil have been up to. Her life is very full, with all the exciting activities she always craved and a willing partner to share them with. I have mixed feelings about it. Relief that she's so happy and occupied she'll barely notice my absence and a twinge of jealousy, as with Rosalie and Char I want what she's got.

For the second movie we indulge in a good cry, though possibly not for the same reasons, and then, making an 'A frame' we stagger upstairs and put ourselves to bed.


	31. Chapter 31

**Disclaimer: Stephanie Meyer owns all.**

**Rated M for several reasons. **

**Chpt 30 Graduating**

**RPOV**

Waiting for Bella's graduation ceremony to start has given me the opportunity to mull over a couple of things that are troubling me.

One is my worry about Alice. Not so much because of Jazz, if his seduction is successful the chances of her ever finding out are slim to non-existent, god knows Bella is incapable of making a decision on the subject. No, what's worrying me are the lines she keeps feeding the Ed Head about he and Bella eventually being together.

I know Ed is her favourite brother, since he met Bella and Alice had a vision of her potentially joining our family as his mate it's been her mission in life to try and make it happen.

I understand why, she started this new life alone and as Ed says it was probably only because she had a vision of being a Cullen that she didn't turn into a total savage. She craves a stable, loving family environment and she's sacrificed a lot to make that one perfect vision from her change work in reality.

Now, seeing an evolution to that vision she wasn't expecting has thrown her carefully crafted world off its axis and to be honest, I'm not sure how she's coping. And neither is Jazz, who knows her better than any of us.

Esme and I have tried to reassure her that other than not living together nothing will change, we'll still be a family and she should think of it in the human terms of me, her big sister, growing up and starting a family of my own. Aunty Alice. But part of the problem is that Alice doesn't remember her human family, the only thing she's ever had to aspire to or feel secure with is her ideal of the Cullens.

Despite our departure for college being only a few days away she is insisting that her vision of our family completed by Bella's presence at Ed's side is still holding true, and poor love lorn Ed can see it all in her mind.

Carlisle's tried talking to her too, even suggesting that she's holding on so tightly to what she thinks she needs that she's blocking out any new visions the changes might have triggered. It sounds perfectly reasonable to me but Alice thinks that as neither he nor I have gifts we're talking out of our asses.

Emo Ed's no help. He's so desperate to believe that Bella will end up a vampire by my hand, thus absolving him of any responsibility, and somehow become his sweet wife that he's _also_ clinging to what the rest of think is Alice's flawed vision.

And the two of them think I'm a bitch for pointing out that they haven't got more than a toe hold in the real world!

I sigh heavily and Em flicks me a curious look.

As for my other worry, well, since I'm pretty sure she's in no immediate danger of falling in love with Major Seduction I'll let those chips fall where they may. She's a big girl now and I'm _not_ her mother.

A bustle on the stage and some nervous microphone tapping indicate that the festivities are about to start.

Jeez, the things I put myself through for this family. The only reason Emo Ed and Nosey are even graduating is because I insisted. I needed an excuse to come see Bella do it.

The whole performance is deathly boring. Speeches and music, dear god the Forks High School Band were always shit and nothing's changed. More speeches and now the endless procession of losers coming on stage to get their diplomas and a lack lustre send off from the Principal.

The only thing to occupy me is her mom and dad's whispered conversation two rows in front.

"That's Edward?"

"Humph." Charlie shifts in his seat.

"My goodness, I can see why she fell for him. He's _beautiful_."

"Humph."

"I suppose it's for the best." Renee sighs. "At least she's going off to college and not marrying him."

Charlie makes a congested noise and Carlisle and I exchange glances, neither of us wants to perform CPR on him during Bella's special moment.

"His sister doesn't look anything like him, did you say they were both adopted?"

"Yes."

"Such a great thing for the parents to do, adopting all those waifs and strays."

And after a moment.

"Which are the ones who are going to college with Bella?"

"Two rows behind." Charlie whispers very quietly. "The blonde and the jock."

Renee rotates slightly in her seat and glances around casually. I stare at the stage but beside me Em favours her with a large friendly grin.

"Charlie!" She whispers urgently. "They're like supermodels or something."

"Jeez Renee, they'll hear you."

"No they won't, don't be ridiculous." She huffs. "The two on the end are the doctor and his wife right?"

Charlie nods.

"And the huge blonde guy in the middle, who's he?"

"Alice's boyfriend I think, Jared or something."

"Wow." She makes a show of fanning her face with her hand.

Jazz looks over at me with a smirk and I glare at him. Our conversation about him putting another move on Bella didn't go well. At least I don't think it did, since as usual he didn't actually tell me anything and he certainly didn't promise to behave himself. Unrepentant about sums it up.

"When do I get to meet Peter and Charlotte?" Renee asks.

"They're coming by the house later, before we go back to the airport."

"Are they nice?"

"They're sensible." Charlie responds with a slight shrug.

Beside me Em snorts loudly and then has to pretend he's having a coughing fit.

Annoyed I clap him furiously on the back until Carlisle glares at me.

"Babe." Em hisses. "My ribcage is fine where it is."

With a smile I reach my hand down to cup his prized possessions, the threat obvious. Which has Jazz faking a coughing fit of his own.

Finally its Bella's turn.

Here she comes, beetroot red and sporting a fake smile. Renee did an awesome job of making her yellow proof. She looks absolutely gorgeous. Bless her.

She doesn't stumble or fumble, even managing a jaunty wave with her diploma.

Charlie is moist eyed and Renee in absolute floods.

I can't supress a smile, against all the odds she made it. Go Bella.

Em gently removes my hand from his balls and takes it in his, caressing it lightly and smiling broadly. Every inch the proud big brother.

Gangly and over optimistic Eric Yorkie is that last one up and as such he gets a more enthusiastic than appropriate ovation.

"Goodness. I can see what you mean about the roses not being from him." Is Renee's only comment.

I shoot Jazz another glare and he winks at me complacently. Roses, really?

Hats are thrown and suddenly it's all over.

Thank god, it was never one of my favourite human rituals, Prom was always far more to my liking. The opportunity to feed the loser's inferiority complexes was always too good to miss.

Dutifully we make our way forwards to congratulate Emo Ed and Nosey.

"Well done." I drawl in his ear. "Another diploma for the collection."

He rolls his eyes and drags Alice off into the corner.

With far more enthusiasm we descend on Bella, hugging and kissing her quickly before Em gets hold of her and swings her off her feet.

**BPOV**

I'm so giddy with relief I didn't embarrass myself that I easily fall into the hysteria that greets the end of the ceremony.

Renee and Charlie get to me first, hugging me tightly and then standing back and watching proudly as the Cullens descend on me.

Carlisle and Esme both hug me tight, as do Edward and Alice, to my surprise even Rosalie gives me a brief hug and a peck on the cheek.

Jasper also takes the opportunity to hug me, pressing his lips briefly to my ear and breathing, "_Mine_."

My shivery reaction is masked by Em, whose patience has finally worn thin, lifting me up and twirling me round like rotor blade, scattering well wishers in all directions.

With Rosalie and Em promising to see us later Renee and Charlie usher me off to the diner for a family meal.

It's odd for the three of us to be together like this. Not exactly awkward but I was too young to remember them ever spending time together in the past and its sort of poignant that its happening now when I might not ever see either of them again.

I manage to resist the temptation to get maudlin and the three of us have a great afternoon. Well they do, it seems that my graduation is all about them having the chance to get hysterical with laughter over every shaming moment and ridiculous accident I ever had living with Renee. I can't even remember some of them but Charlie soaks up the stories like a sponge and it's comforting to know that I ran my three wheeled bike into a tree and knocked my two front teeth out almost 20 years to the day after he did exactly the same thing.

Still laughing the three of us head home to collect Renee's bags and introduce her to Pete and Char. Who are waiting outside the house, him in a suit and Char in an outfit so demure even Charlie rolls his eyes.

Rosalie and Em join us and an interesting competition develops between him and Pete for Renee's attention. Char, Rosalie and I look in amusement but Charlie's soon had enough and stomps upstairs to change into his uniform.

The ride to the airport passes in a flash as Renee gives us her opinion on everything from Edward's appearance, Charlie's continued single status and my chances of finding a good husband at college. A couple of time his eyes meet mine in the rear view mirror and he rolls them slightly so I have to stifle a giggle. I'd forgotten quite how garrulous she can be when she's excited.

Our departure gate farewell is long and tearful and Charlie retires to a nearby bench so we can get on with it in peace. I promise to continue to e-mail her every couple of days and call at the weekends so that she misses out on as little as possible of my college experience. With a final pledge to mail her anything she's left behind in my room I wave her off with a guilty sense of relief.

In contrast the ride back is made in comfortable silence and Charlie drops me off at home to go straight into work.

Opting to leave the rest of my packing until tomorrow, I throw a random selection of my new beauty products into the tub and settle down to soak away my thoughts and feelings over the last couple of days.

By the time I curl up in bed my equilibrium is restored. There are many things to miss and perhaps one day regret but I am still confident I'm making the right decision.

That just leaves me with the next few days and Jessica's party to get through.

Issue number one, Eric, what's the deal with the roses? I haven't promised him anything but he sure seems to be taking a lot for granted. I am _so_ not looking forward to that party.

And there's issue number two, Jasper. I _have_ promised him something and I'm still not sure I want to give it to him, but I'm no closer to a resolution, what I _want_ and I what I should _do_ are two different things. I just hope that I can get through the next couple of days without the opportunity to slip up presenting itself. I don't understand how he's gotten such a hold on me in that way, I barely know him and what I do know is not exactly complimentary, yet nearly every one of my waking or sleeping thoughts is filled with hazy imaginings of him making love to me.

Bad, _bad_ Bella.

Oh well, avoiding him has worked so far and there's so little time left before we leave that it's hard to conceive how I can get myself into that level of trouble.

Mine.

That word, breathed into my ear in a crowded hall, is doing all manner of things to me. None of them good.


	32. Chapter 32

**Disclaimer: Stephanie Meyer owns all.**

**Rated M for several reasons. **

**Chpt 31 Party Animals**

**BPOV**

That's it. I'm all packed.

Char has helped me get ready for the party, sorting out my makeup and hair and womanfully restraining herself from ragging on the training heels.

Now all I have to do is wait for Angela and Ben to pick me up.

I look confident and sexy, grown up according to Charlie, but what I feel is very insecure. I'm really not a party person and the knowledge that I'll probably have to hurt Eric's feelings in order to remotely enjoy my evening is doing nothing to help.

I now have half a dozen red roses arranged around the house, their beauty calling me out on my cowardice in not making my feelings properly clear to Eric. I did it to Mike. I did to Edward. And in slightly different way I did it Jessica _and_ Lauren. My inner reserves of Rosalie seem to have run out just in time to ruin both our nights.

And that actually makes me mad at him. Stupid boy, why can't he see I'm not interested without me having to spell it out? I bumped into him today at the store and he was gushing about seeing me at the party and how it was just us against a world full of couples. I know how that feels, I'm surrounded by them, but that doesn't mean I'll be taking refuge in Eric's spindly arms. He was even at great pains to tell me his parents are out of town. Yuk, with knobs on.

And there's my passion killer. Every time a naughty image of Jasper pops into my head I'm just going to think of Eric Yorkie's parents being out of town. Get thee to a nunnery!

I giggle, how come I only get to be funny in my head, when no one's around to appreciate it?

The sound of Ben's horn jerks me back to reality and I hurry outside, locking the door behind me, Charlie's parting words echoing in my head.

"You've finished school and you're off to college. Enjoy the party. Just don't do anything you'll regret in the morning. And Bella, I still have that cell waiting for you if you get plastered."

"I'm going to drink myself insensible." Angela announces as we move off.

"Um, should you? I mean . . . ." Ben gives me a weary smile.

"Bella." She says with finality. "This might be the one and only party I ever attend. I am going to do every clichéd little thing I can."

"With Ben, of course." She adds quickly, squeezing his stocky thigh.

"Okay." I laugh. "Let me know when that's kicking off and I'll head home."

"She has a list." Ben informs me with a wry smile.

"I do." She chuckles, patting the pocket of her jacket. "And I'll be ticking them off as we go along. And no, Bella, you can't leave. I _need_ you, some of these things require your assistance."

Oh shit. Suddenly Eric is looking like the least of my problems.

Ben and I exchange understanding glances. Within reason we will both do what she wants, she's worth it.

Jessica's house is already full of people and beer kegs of dubious origins. The music level is pegged at brain numbing and the serious business of not ending the night single has already begun.

By dint of Angela pretending to faint we bag a couch in the den and nurse our drinks watching teenage life unfold around us.

There is dancing, serious danger of some faces _actually_ being sucked off and much hopeful manoeuvring. People watching is actually quite rewarding.

Eventually my luck runs out, but it's a wobbly kneed Mike who asks me to dance first. Easy refusal, no guilt.

Next up is a sweaty guy who graduated last year. Another easy refusal.

Then it gets complicated Angela and Ben finish their drinks and get up to dance, Angela urging me to accept an invitation and join them.

As if he's got Edward's gift, Eric is next to appear.

Reluctantly I allow him to drag me to my feet and gyrate with me for a few awkward minutes. Then, muttering about needing another drink, I make my excuses and flee to the kitchen. Where sweaty guy has another go and Mike almost takes a nose dive into my cleavage.

Feeling totally justified in my avoidance of parties I scuttle back to Angela and Ben who've saved me a place on the couch. The list is out.

Potentially fatal glass of punch, collected by Ben, check. It tasted like paint stripper delicately flavoured by the unidentified fruits floating in it.

Dodgy cigarette. We all bottled that one. I'm no expert but it smelt disturbingly like burning carpet and the smoke actually made Angela turn green when it blew in her face.

After that we abandoned the list for a while and went back to people watching. There were quite a few takers for the burning carpet, followed by a mass raid on the snack table and some nexus level giggling. It was entertaining, in a forbidden pleasure kind of way, Charlie'd be prepping his cells for multiple occupancy if he knew.

I accept a dance with another classmate, withdrawing abruptly when he makes a lip lunge at me. Angela and Ben are almost wetting themselves on the couch as I flounce my way back to them.

"It's okay for you two." I huff. "You're together, I'm starting to feel like a carcass at the meat market."

"Oh Bella." Angela laughs. "All these boys have been lusting after you ever since you moved here, you've just never noticed. You're beautiful and far too good for any of them. It was on my list to get you fixed up tonight but I think I'll cross it off. There's no one here good enough, except Ben and he's taken."

Of course I flush up and can't manage any appropriate words of denouement.

"That color really suits you." She continues, gesturing at my dress. "I've never seen you wear it before."

"It was Char's idea." I shrug.

"Well she clearly knows a thing or two about making you look sexy." Ben says shyly.

My eyes snap to Angela but she's smiling happily. How I envy her easy relationship with Ben, it's like they were made for each other.

"Hey Bella!" Mike butts in, leaning over the back of the couch and clearly staring straight down into the depths of my plunge bra. Curse Char and her PhD level underwear.

I shift uncomfortably and attempt to cross my arms over my chest as a waft of his beer breath floats into my face. He's totally wasted, where's our hostess when I need saving.

I'll never know whether he lost his balance through too much drink or took a deliberate lunge at me but before I can blink he's over the couch back and collapsed on top of me. An undignified struggle follows, with me deploying every technique Em's taught me and fervently wishing I was toting Charlie's pepper spray.

The upshot is that he ends up straddling my lap with his lips attempting to connect with mine. Time slows down and I can hear screaming and shouting in the background, definitely Jessica, and so I ball up my uninjured fist, relaxed with thumb out, and smash it into Mike's nose as hard as I can.

The look on his face is priceless as he arcs backwards and flops bonelessly onto the floor. Abruptly Jessica's screams change from admonishment of Mike to accusations that I've killed her beloved boyfriend.

An icy calm washes over me and I surge to my feet. _This_ is why I've never rated being a teenager.

A couple of slaps to Mike's face are all it takes for him to recover from his stupor and for Jessica's attention to return to me.

"You _bitch_." She shrieks, launching herself at me.

Instinctively I duck and raise my hands, propelling her over my head with her own momentum.

She crashes into my vacated place on the couch and immediately begins sobbing. Looking into the awed faces of my peers I have never felt so isolated and different.

With a sob of my own I escape to the bathroom, Angela's amazon legs ensuring she gets there before I can close the door.

"Wow, Bella." She gasps.

"I'm so sorry." I whimper.

"What were you supposed to do? Let him perv over your chest and then let Jessica beat on you? Bella, every woman dreams of being able to stick up for herself like that. More fool Mike for trying it on with the Police Chief's daughter."

I laugh, Charlie's defence lessons revolve more around pepper spray and shots to the testicles, the display downstairs was all Emmett, who has had decades worth of Rosalie's admirers to ensure are humanely despatched.

She eyes me critically in the mirror.

"We've crossed off items fourteen and fifteen." She chuckles. "Let me fix your face and we'll go down and see what else we can accomplish."

I nod ruefully and let her use a wet tissue on my face, by the time she's done I look almost normal again, if somewhat flushed.

"Don't be embarrassed." She urges me. "You didn't do anything wrong."

Impulsively I hug her and get a tight one back.

Ben is waiting for us outside the door.

"Jessica is holding court in the den and Lauren is threatening retribution." He says quickly. "In my humble opinion we should grab a drink from the kitchen and camp out somewhere safe like the deck. The potheads are all out there and I as far I can tell they're totally harmless."

Like cartoon characters we tiptoe downstairs and through the kitchen, grabbing some drinks and claiming three loungers on the deck.

"Now this is more like it." Angela murmurs, settling back and sipping her paper cup of paint stripper.

"It's cold." The practical in me points out.

"No Phoenix." Ben laughs. "This is sunbathing weather in Forks. Lie back and enjoy."

Obediently I relax, staring up at the stars and taking a sip of my own fruity little number. I won't exactly have to miss out on blazing sunlight in my new life, just be careful when I enjoy it, Rosalie says one of her great pleasures is lying out in the hot sun and feeling it warm her stone skin.

Music is still pounding out from the house but despite that and the conversations of our deck sharers it's quite peaceful out here.

"I'm done with the list." Angela announces, crumpling it up and letting it drop to the floor.

"Why?" Ben asks tenderly.

"It's not important." She shrugs. "You, our future, our friends. They're important. Ticking off a list of immature goals to prove you're a grown up doesn't count for anything. Take me for a dance and then home Ben, we have things to discuss with our parents."

"Bella, are you coming with?" Ben asks.

I shake my head, not wanting to be their third wheel. "I'm good. I'll finish this drink and walk back."

"Are you sure?" Angela queries with a frown.

"Yeah. You guys go for it. I won't be far behind."

With a nod she leans into Ben and lets him draw her away.

I lean back and take another slug of my drink, inspecting the stars again. I should probably make a move if I want to escape another scene but I'm comfortable lying here looking at the stars and a Rosesque scowl has already sent a potential pothead suitor running for cover.

As if. Regrettably my dial is currently set on something quite a bit different.

With a sigh I get to my feet and stalk off into Jessica's yard, suddenly needing to be alone. I spot a swing suspended from an enormous tree and wander over, plonking myself down and pushing off gently.

It's amazing how quickly everything recedes and I lean back, watching the stars glide lazily to and fro above me, my drink tipping unheeded onto the grass and the creak of the ropes lulling me into a trance.

After a few minutes later the hairs on the back of my neck stand on end.

Stopping the swing I turn towards the trees at the edge of the yard.

He's standing there bare chest glinting in the moonlight, faded jeans clinging to his narrow hips, pale toes almost hidden in the damp grass. A _purple_ rose in his outstretched hand.

He raises an eyebrow and his lips quirk into the ghost smile.

The swing and I are now totally still.

Silently he holds his other hand out and I get to my feet, walking slowly toward him, drawn like an iron filing to a magnet.

I hesitate when I reach him and he hands me the beautiful rose, gently taking my free hand in his and leading me away into the trees.


	33. Chapter 33

**Disclaimer: Stephanie Meyer owns all.**

**Rated M for several reasons. Lemon. **

**Chpt 32 Parting Gift**

**BPOV**

Unable to think about anything else I can only concentrate on the strange dichotomy in my body. My skin is icy cold with fear but inside it feels like my bones are liquid fire.

I want to ask where we're going but under the circumstances it isn't really that important.

We walk silently, hand in hand, deeper into the trees.

The sound of Jessica's party recedes gradually into the background and the total silence of the forest intensifies the icy sheen on my skin. Involuntarily I shiver.

Jasper stops and turns to face me, the index finger of his free hand tracing lightly over the goose bumps breaking out on my skin.

"Cold?" He asks gently, speaking for the first time.

Gazing up at his perfect face I shake my head, shiver violently, and then nod. I have no words, mental or physical, to explain what I'm feeling or why I'm even here.

Smiling slightly he turns, offering me his back and with without thinking I hitch up the skirt of my crimson dress and clamber up, wrapping my arms and legs tightly around him.

Dropping a light kiss onto my forearm he surges forward smoothly, soon hitting a full run.

I close my eyes and rest my head beside his. I suppose we could be going to the cabin but somehow instinct says not. I have lost all interest in time or anything else for that matter and as he begins to slow I've no concept of how long or how far we've been running.

He stops and I slide down to the ground, taking his hand again and allowing him to lead us toward a faint glow, growing stronger as we approach through the trees. As we enter the clearing I stop dead and he obligingly stays beside me, thumb rubbing gently at my palm.

It's a camp. With a roaring fire, two camp chairs and a two man tent.

I blink in surprise and beside me he chuckles.

"The fire is for the marshmallows." He says quietly. "And I get the impression the cabin wasn't quite your style."

I stare at him mutely.

"Come and sit down." He urges.

Scared but unwilling to be separated from him I follow him across and take a seat while he squats down in front of the fire.

"Coffee?" He asks, smiling slightly at my jolt of surprise.

I nod, watching as he busies himself expertly with the pot I hadn't noticed hanging over the fire.

"This is a fairly authentic camp from my era." He explains as he works. "There were times when we would live like this for months, it's actually quite comfortable. In the summer months anyway."

He hands me the steaming cup and settles into the chair beside me.

I sip the strong brew and watch him through the steam as he gazes off into the distance, firelight coloring his pale skin and casting shadows on his numerous scars. Beautiful, he's absolutely beautiful, perfect in every way, even the scars somehow enhance him. Suddenly I yearn to know more about him, to understand in some small way what's hidden inside. My stomach turns over slowly and my fear spikes up a few notches.

"You're afraid." He observes, still gazing at the horizon.

"Not of you." I blurt out.

His lips quirk up into the ghost smile and I have a feeling he knows exactly what I'm afraid of and has no intention of doing or saying anything to help me. Treating me like a grown up and letting me make my own decisions.

What happens now? Do we sit here in silence all night until I pluck up the courage to ask him to take me home? Is expecting me to jump him? Damn PhD level vampire.

My stomach growls.

"Marshmallow?" He asks raising his eyebrow and turning towards me.

I shake my head weakly, I couldn't eat a thing, and instead I take another slug of the coffee in a futile attempt to lubricate my dry mouth.

In a flash he's kneeling in front of me and I jump, startled, only his quick reactions preventing me from tipping scalding liquid down my front. Gently he sets the cup aside and turns to look at me.

Helpless, afraid and yet strangely sure I let myself look into his dark gold eyes. As I'm wishing I could decipher what's in them he lowers his mouth to mine, cool lips gently gliding across my abruptly warm ones.

I close my eyes, poised on a knife edge. I can push him away, somehow I know he'll take me home without a word of complaint. Or, or. Fear sends another shiver down my spine. Or I can go with my instinct, the one that's been telling me that whatever this is, it's inevitable.

With a gasp I open up to his gently probing tongue and surrender, closing my eyes and savouring the feel of his cool lips languidly manipulating mine as his tongue slips inside my mouth.

There's no great fanfare of doom or triumph that greets my capitulation, just the sound of our increasingly passionate kiss, the crackling of the fire and the steadily building warmth inside me.

As before everything around me just ceases to exist, including Bella Swan, there is only us.

I moan in disappointment as he eases back, allowing me to gasp for breath while he scatters cool kisses along my jaw line.

I open my eyes as he pulls away, settling onto his haunches and pushing me lightly back into the chair so he can gently ease off my training heels, massaging my poor abused feet with skilled hands.

An involuntary sigh escapes me and I close my eyes again, it feels wonderful and not just in my feet. My stomach is twirling lazily and all of my insides seem to be fluttering.

With a deft touch he eases away every trace of discomfort, his hands gradually sliding up my legs and under my dress as his lips press velvet kisses onto the inside of my knees and exposed thighs.

"What are you doing?" I gasp, squirming in pleasure.

"Worshipping you." Is the simple answer.

I'm caught between heaven and hell as his cool lips and questing tongue work their way steadily up my now quivering thighs. My dress is almost pushed up to my hips and I feel exposed, vulnerable and _needy_. The fluttering is now concentrated in my girlie parts and tell-tale warmth is soaking my panties.

He continues to trail his tongue ever further up my thighs which part for him like the Red Sea, it's on my lips to protest but he rears up suddenly capturing my open mouth with his. His tongue subduing mine easily, calling to every part of me in a way I can't ignore.

My hands, which had been gripping the arms of the chair, fly up to tangle in his hair, fingers futilely trying to dig into his scalp and he groans into me, releasing my legs so his huge hands can cup my face, long fingers combing my hair and caressing the sensitive skin behind my ears. In mere moments our kiss is back to the breath stealing passion of before and I barely register the movement as he scoops me up and transfers us to the tent, laying me down on a surprisingly soft bed of downy pillows, weight held away from me by his arms, domineering mouth completely obliterating my sudden spike of fear.

Breaking our kiss and transferring his lips and tongue to the flesh behind my ear he brings his knees up on either side of me, lifting me easily and deftly unzipping my dress before laying me back down, still trapped between his legs.

He moves to my other ear, gently sliding the thin straps of the dress from my shoulders and as far down my arms as they'll go before pulling back.

Almost reluctantly I open my eyes. His gold ones are very dark now, his face a composed mask.

"I want you." His voice is low, stating the fact.

Wordlessly I reach up, cupping his stone cheek with my hand and rubbing my thumb across his full lips. He captures it, sucking it gently into his mouth and my stomach turns over slowly, a fresh wave of sticky warmth answering his unspoken question.

Still somewhat afraid I close my eyes as he moves back, carefully peeling the dress from my body, automatically I shift and wriggle, helping him shimmy it down, under my hips and all the way to my feet.

I shudder but keep my eyes tightly closed as his cool lips and tongue pick up where they left off, laving the skin of my inner thighs and coaxing them apart. The needy feeling is back, invisible flames licking at my exposed skin, warmth from my pulsing center rushing out to meet it.

It seems to take forever but finally he plants a soft kiss on my pubic bone through the thin fabric of my panties which unlocks my thighs like a passcode and they fall all the way open in welcome. With a groan his hands come up to rest on my hips and he presses his nose into my soaked underwear, breathing deeply. A soft kiss to the screaming bundle of nerves at my apex has my hands making fists in the pillows on either side of me.

His tongue darts out, pressing against me briefly and I moan and writhe, completely consumed with _need_. I barely register the sound of elastic snapping as he cool lips come into direct contact with my hot wet flesh. My head falls back and my body arches pushing me into his mouth and immediately his hands grip my hips, holding me in place. His cool tongue strokes along me sending tremors shooting out which peak when he flicks it purposefully against my aching nub.

My heels dig into the pillows, knees rising of their own accord. In response he slides his hands under me, lifting me up and taking deeper possession. His tongue circling my entrance and then slipping inside briefly before returning to strafe my folds, and pausing to tease my throbbing clit, then withdrawing so he can suck it into his mouth.

My gasp turns into a cry as his tongue darts between his lips, probing the stretched bundle of nerves.

With an audible groan that vibrates through me he pulls me closer, repeating the manoeuvre rhythmically, sucking and probing in a way that soon has my head thrashing from side to side a stream of meaningless drivel pouring from my unguarded lips.

Heat and tension are building within me, pulling my body tight, muscles thrumming with energy and anticipation. My fingers snarl in his hair attempting to dig in, a silent plea for him not to stop as a spiral of tingly bliss starts to form in my girlie parts, spiralling outwards faster and faster, causing my limbs to shake as his mouth and tongue push me inexorably toward the frightening unknown. I try to squirm away but he holds me effortlessly in place as the tension inside winds tighter and tighter, suddenly snapping and exploding, waves of almost unbearable pleasure ripping through me, whipping my limbs taut and sending me arcing away from the pillows in a field of shooting stars.

He continues to lick and kiss me, more gently now, as I ride out the waves and the trembling in my body subsides, aftershocks still erupting as he tenderly cleanses my over sensitised flesh with his cool tongue.

Finally I lie still, panting and gasping as he makes his way up my body planting kisses on my sweat slickened skin, pausing to remove my bra and nibble at the painfully distended peaks of my breasts, hands gently roaming over me like a blind man reading a braille text.

Summoning all my courage I open my eyes when I feel his face hovering over mine. He smiles, a real smile, and I return it automatically.

"I love the way you taste." He whispers and I shiver underneath him, his body now covering mine, cool stone chest sliding against my wet skin as I breathe in and out.

Suddenly brazen I crane my neck up, latching my hands onto his broad shoulders and fastening my lips to his. He inhales sharply, kissing me back with force and rocking his body into mine, hips falling easily between my thighs. My legs come up around him of their own free will and in moments we're rolling around inside the tent, kissing frantically while our hands try to be everywhere at once.

The muscles of his back fascinate me, I can just _barely_ feel them sliding under his impervious skin as he moves, hard as rock but somehow fluid. And his abs, my fingers glide repeatedly over their troughs and peaks spurred on by the way he shudders and moans at the touch. Curiosity raging I finally reach down to feel him through his jeans and with a deep groan he pushes himself into my hand. Instinctively I wrap my fingers around him through the denim keeping them in place as he moves against me.

Our rolling and grappling has ceased and more enquiring than embarrassed I open my eyes. His are closed, body and face angled away from me, allowing me to do whatever I want. I tighten my grip on him as he moves against my hand and he hisses, suddenly staring down at me with hooded eyes.

A fresh surge of lust washes over me and I feel strangely powerful. Before I can chicken out or over think it my other hand reaches between us and I undo the buttons of his jeans with a pleasing lack of fumbling. What springs free is as beautiful as the rest of him, tentatively I reach down ghosting my index finger over it, feeling the moist indentation at the tip and running it lightly underneath the ridge. He closes his eyes with a shudder and emboldened I close my whole hand around his thick shaft, feeling the steel hardness beneath amazingly smooth skin.

"Oh, _jesus_." He gasps.

Tentatively I move my hand up and down, the skin moves slightly, like heavy velvet over polished wood. He hisses again and pushes himself into my hand. My eyes snap back to his face, his are still closed and his expression is unreadable but his unnecessary breathing is laboured and he is still gently pushing himself into my hand, those glorious abs tensing and releasing with each thrust.

I match his tempo, my other hand also closing over him as I experiment with my grip, when I tighten it he grinds out my name, exciting me in a way that has me rubbing my slick thighs together.

Transferring his weight to one arm he reaches down, gently prising my legs apart and stroking a long finger through my folds in sync with his thrusts. My own rhythm stutters and falters as he touches me but regardless I whimper as he withdraws from my hands. They flutter about uselessly for a moment until his mouth crashes urgently into mine and then they take root in his hair, twisting and tugging as his stroking finger twists and tugs at my insides.

Powerful heats builds inside me as he swirls it back and forth, circling around my already throbbing clit and pushing gently at my entrance. My back arches again, pushing me up into his hand and exposing my throat. He latches onto it immediately, nipping and kissing his way down my neck, out across my collar bones and on down until his lip covered teeth close firmly around one of my maddeningly hard nipples.

"Oh god, _Jasper_!" I scream as his long finger plunges deep inside me at the same time.

The sting of pain recedes immediately as he curls and straightens it, the pad of his thumb now circling my clit, mouth sucking almost painfully on my breast.

Oh god, he's killing me, the sensations coursing through my body are almost unbearable and I can't stop myself from moaning and writhing beneath him as he groans into my skin, sliding another finger inside me and transferring his mouth to my other breast.

His fingers open, stretching me in a way that has me grinding myself up into him desperate for more, _needy_. I'm so wet they slide and curl in me easily and I tighten around them reflexively, drawing them deeper and trying to hold onto them as they withdraw before pushing in again. My head is thrashing from side to side, teeth snapping at the pillows in a fruitless attempt to stop increasingly animalistic sounds escaping me.

His fingers withdraw and I protest with a wordless whimper but within moments his mouth is claiming mine again, the full length of his suddenly naked body now pressed against me. The chill against my sweat covered skin is electric and I wrap my arms around him using all my strength in an attempt to pull us closer together. In response he grinds his hips into me, my thighs obediently parting to allow him to settle between them, legs coming up to wrap around him.

"Bella . . . . _want_ . . . . _need_ . . . ." His voice is hoarse, the thick tip of his erection moving through my folds, sending tremors surging through my body which bucks up into him.

He is now at my entrance, pushing in and retreating, teasing me into a frenzy. All trace of fear is gone and I only want to feel him inside me. With each push he opens me a little wider and sinks in a little deeper, creating a throbbing ache within. I might not know what to do but my body apparently does, still kissing him like my life depends on it I roll my hips upward and gasp as he enters me further, stretching and filling me, feeding and intensifying the ache.

His breathing is now as harsh as mine, weight resting on his elbows either side of me, mouth attacking mine roughly, leaving me in no doubt of his own _need_ and it's a powerful aphrodisiac, driving me wild. Little by little his gently undulating hips push him deeper and deeper inside me until he's filled and stretched me completely, there's no pain, only a desperate need for more and a pulsating warmth which I can feel gripping and releasing him.

He stills for a moment, body quivering and then, oh so slowly, starts moving again, transferring his mouth to my neck where his cool breath washes across my hot skin as he licks, nips, kisses and murmurs soundless words into my throat, his thumbs softly stroking behind my ears.

He is barely moving inside me yet familiar sensations of heat, tingling and tension are already spreading as he rolls his hips, gently yet forcefully grinding his pubic bone against mine and flexing himself inside me, the movement minimal but electrifying. My body quickly picks up the tempo, thrusting back against his with a life all of its own. Gradually he pulls back more, breaking the contact between our skin but thrusting harder and faster, pulling out farther and plunging in deeper, eventually forced to give up his assault on my throat as he rises all the way up onto his arms.

My hands move up to trace the lightly trembling muscles of his arms and my eyes pop open surveying his face above mine in a lust filled haze. His eyes are closed and his lips are moving, just short of a complete blur, but I still don't catch a thing he's saying.

The sensation of him thrusting in and out of me reclaims my attention and with no sense of I shame I look down, unbelievably turned on by the sight of our bodies coming together. Oh god, I can't stand it, my eyes roll back into my head and my hips buck up into him again pulling him deeper and urging him faster.

"Bella." He groans, leaning down and teasing my lips with his, body still angled away from mine. "_Oh god . . . . Bella_ . . . . so close, so . . . ._ungh_ . . . . I can feel you . . . ."

My limbs are already shivering as he reaches down between us, stroking my swollen nub and igniting the sparks running through me into roaring flame. Searching for some kind of anchor to keep from being washed away I clamp my legs around him harder and clutch his shoulders pulling myself up until our mouths meet again, crashing together haphazardly as he drives into me with increasing urgency.

I pant and moan into his mouth, barely able to hold the kiss against the storm building inside me. Every sensation is rushing toward a peak, heat, tension, sparks of electricity and my shivering which morphs steadily into thrumming tension until suddenly I can take it no more and my climax explodes out from the center of me, flinging my body wide and ripping a raw scream from my throat.

The intense orgasm roils through me in pulsing waves threatening to block everything else out yet I still feel with perfect clarity. The clenching spasms of my inner muscles as they grip him reflexively, making me tighter and the feel of him moving in me more intense, each twitch and throb of his cock as he cums, shooting cool liquid inside me with each long thrust. His harsh breathing and deep shuddering groan at my ear as his arms shake almost violently on either side of my thrashing body.

And still I find breath to cry out again as I come apart around him, shattering into a million pieces.

As the conflagration recedes I become aware of him still moving gently inside me and I open my eyes, amazed I can still see, to find him staring down at me with a glorious smile on his handsome face. Slowly he leans down kissing me softly but deeply, lowering his body onto mine until we're both still and then rolling us onto our sides so he can wrap himself around me.

With a contented sigh I snuggle my overheated body into his cool embrace and with his arms holding me tight and his lips pressed into my hair I drift off to sleep.

…..

I wake some time later, swathed in blankets, the only light the fire still burning outside the tent.

With a deep sigh I stretch contentedly, enjoying the pleasant ache in my muscles as I lengthen them one by one.

Waking brings reality back with it, or rather a new one. I'm a slut. But dear god I'm a happy one.

The smell of coffee lures me to my feet and wrapped in one of the thick blankets I stumble outside in search of the source.

Jasper waggles an eyebrow and the coffee pot at me.

"What time is it?" I ask with a barely concealed yawn.

"Almost dawn." He hands me a cup and I bury my nose gratefully in the steam wondering why there's no awkwardness or embarrassment, although I guess it's a little late for both.

I wiggle my bare toes in the damp grass as I savour the coffee, wondering how long I'll be able to stand here before the chill sends me in search of my training heels.

Jasper is watching with a strange look in his face.

"What?" I ask.

"Bella Swan." He sighs. "Unless you want me to pick you up, throw you over my shoulder and carry you away from here never to return, I suggest you put some clothes on."

With a giggle I retreat into the tent and obey. Dressed but still sporting the blanket I emerge and perch on one of the chairs to finish my coffee while he puts the fire out and we watch the sun start to rise in companionable silence.

"I'd better get you home." He says eventually.

I nod, rising and tipping the rest of my coffee into the ashes.

"What about the camp?"

"I'll break it down later." He replies holding his arms out.

Unsure I move forward tentatively and he hands me the purple rose before scooping me up bridal style and settling me against his chest. I close my eyes and relax as the wind whips past us, only opening them when he slows and comes to a stop in my front yard, carefully setting me down on the porch steps.

Once again I find myself wishing I could get even a tiny glimpse inside his head as he wraps his arms around me and pulls me in for a slow but very passionate kiss. There's a quality to it I recognise but like everything with him it's elusive and can't be pinned down.

When I'm almost gasping for breath he releases me stepping back.

"Have fun at college darlin'." He drawls, flipping me a salute and then blurring away into the trees.

I've got hours before Rosalie and Em pick me up and I know exactly what I'm going to do with them. Kicking the blanket out behind me like a train I let myself into the house and make haste to my waiting bed.


	34. Chapter 34

**Disclaimer: Stephanie Meyer owns all.**

**Rated M for several reasons.**

**Chpt 33 She's Gone**

**JPOV**

Hiding.

It won't last, Pete will find me any minute and at some point I'm gonna have to go home to Alice, she needs me right now.

I sigh and lean back into the tree, wriggling my shoulders as I slouch down into a more comfortable position.

Ah, sloth, an essential activity even for vampires.

Pulling my hat down over my eyes I let my chin come to rest on my chest and listen to the forest come back to life around me. Even the tiniest critters shut down or run when a vampire comes by but if you can sit still for long enough they'll eventually forget you're there.

Soon the birds are singing and the insects are scurrying, all to the background of the wind gently rustling the leaves in the trees.

"There you are ya lazy fucker." Pete's growls softly to let me know he's approaching. Sneaking up on me can have nasty consequences.

I sigh pointedly and slump down a little further.

"Hidin' from the wrath of your wife?" He enquires flopping down beside me and folding his hands over his chest.

I snort. As if.

"Why do you keep puttin' yourself through this J?"

I snarl at him in warning. Why does he keep trying to have this conversation with me? It always ends one of two ways. Either I spend the whole duration reciting confederate battle plans in my head and humming the theme tune from Mission Impossible or I lose my temper and beat the shit out of him.

"We have this conversation every time I visit an' I know you hear with your ears an' ignore me with your head but this time it's different an' we both know it. So help me god J, just fuckin' listen for once."

I snarl again, I am not feeling particularly musical.

"No." His voice is quiet but resolved. "You can beat up on me later but I love you an' you will hear me out first. This shit has got to stop J, you can't hide under Alice's couture skirts forever. This is not your life."

I sigh heavily. Apparently there will be no escape for either of us today.

When I first left Maria the relief was instantaneous, like when a dentist stops drilling on a raw nerve. For the first time in my entire life I was free, up until then someone had always had control over me, my father, my commanding officers, _her_. And to escape all that pain and fear, there aren't words to describe how wonderful it was.

Unfortunately it wasn't very long before I realised that the pain and fear had come with me. Of course it had, I caused most of it and it trailed behind me in a stinking miasma, contaminating everything it came in contact with. Including Pete and Char.

Oh I'd learned control in my newborn year. Not to go out in the sun, not that it mattered so much in those days, enough resistance to the call of blood to walk among humans when needs be, the ability not to rape every female who's scent caught my attention and the restraint not to start a deadly fight every five minutes. I learnt to survive. Hell, at one point I even thought I'd learned to love.

Evil bitch, killin' her is still one of the best things I've done in either of my lives. The other was turning Pete. As soon as I spotted the blind drunk marine passed out in an alley behind a bar I knew he'd make a good addition to our army, I had no idea I'd end up calling him brother. Of all the vampires I made, and there were hundreds, he's one of the only two who made it past their first year, The Major's Lieutenant.

Not that we were friends exactly, I respected his ability and loyalty but his stubbornness earned him quite a bit of pain by my hands. Over time the fucker made me work for it though, he was always a quick learner. And it was Pete, my perma shadow, who noticed how the misery and death were gradually tearing me down and subtly began trying to protect me from it where he could. I knew what he was doing of course but I can't say I was grateful, like the rest of my second life it just was, and if he wanted to do stuff for me without knowing it didn't work that was his problem. I've no solid idea when our relationship changed but it was about the time even I couldn't fail to notice that whatever Maria and I had it wasn't love and my original personality started reasserting itself.

Don't get me wrong, I didn't suddenly turn into a nice guy, I just stopped pretending that torturin', rapin' an' killin' people was fun, I didn't actually stop doin' it. Not if I thought it was necessary.

So nothing really changed until the day I finally noticed that Pete had a more than passin' interest in little Charlotte. The day I decided she'd outlived her usefulness and would make a fine addition to the bonfire. Sometimes the female yearlings would last a little longer if I found them sexually pleasing and managed to hide it from Maria, but I've never been into blondes.

He tried to kill me, we both know how that would have ended, but he was gonna try it anyway. I ripped his limbs off but didn't throw them in the fire, he was too good a solider to waste that way and I'd have found a way to control him. When I picked Charlotte up he screamed in anguish and so I threw her at him, tossing his limbs after and turning my back. When I looked around five minutes later they were gone.

My lover was not best pleased and I will carry the scars of her punishment forever, physically and mentally. That was the day I died.

I fed, I fought, I fucked and I went on with the only life I could remember. Dead Man Walking.

We'd just run a successful raid on our rivals in the south when I got separated from the rest of the army. A miracle in itself, my lover wouldn't normally let me out of her sight once she knew I was no longer oblivious to her true nature, but we were making a hasty escape and sometimes shit happens. It never even occurred to me to run, where would I go, I hadn't the heart to start my own coven and there was no other way of life. Our rivals caught me a few miles south of the border. I'm no romantic fool and it didn't cross my mind to atone for my sins by letting them kill me, I fought like the vicious motherfucker I am, but there were too many of them and they were about to overpower me when Pete and Char came to my rescue.

How they regretted it afterwards, in many ways I was worse than a newborn. Devious, deadly, strong and fast, totally attuned to taking what I wanted whenever I wanted it. Never having had to share, control my gift or consider anyone but myself.

The wounds I inflicted on them, mental and physical were appalling. They never gave up on me, they still haven't, but I could feel their misery, it fed mine, which rebounded back in a vicious cycle. It was months before I realised that Char could actually laugh, she has a beautiful laugh.

Eventually things got better, my fuck ups became less common and the number of assholes bearin' grudges who came looking for The Major diminished. I no longer felt that every snapped twig heralded an attempt on my life or that every situation I didn't like had to be solved with brutal violence.

What I did feel was a nameless oppressive weight bearing down on me, threatenin' to crush me into dust. Every negative emotion around me was irresistibly drawn to my own, adding to the massive millstone round my neck. And despite my life being immeasurably better I could snap back to the soulless monster I was with no warning and no provocation.

In short I was a fuckin' mess. A dangerous, indestructible mess.

And then I walked into a diner one day and met Alice.

Pete hated her on sight, saying that two people with issues is a one way ticket to disaster but her vision fascinated me. My wife and I, living in peace with a loving family of vegetarians. I have never been able to find the words to describe how depressin' it is to feel the terror of your dinner, I wouldn't wish that curse on my worst enemy and so I've never had the heart to tell the Cullens that their meals have emotions too.

She offered me peace, salvation and love. She offered me a way to relieve the suffering of my brother and sister. Did I love her? No, never. Was I almost instantly slavishly devoted to her? Yes, because she offered me the other thing that was missing in my life, someone to tell me what to do so that I wouldn't have to decide what the right thing was by myself, something I could no longer tell. Someone who could see me lose it before it happened, it seemed too good to be true.

And of course it was.

Alice's start to this life was as bad as mine in its own way. She woke up alone. But with a vision, a vision of the family she would belong to and of meeting the man who would be by her side there.

She doesn't love me either but she does _love_ that vision, the one that kept her going in her darkest hour and she considers policing my baser instincts a small price to pay for being able to live it out.

We're a very healthy pair, Alice does not let her dreams die easily and I have nowhere else to go.

Which is where Pete's lecture comes in.

He thinks that I lead half a life and subdue the greater part of who I am so I can remain secure and untested, saying that I stopped needing my jailer, Alice, decades ago. He insists that I do have a place to go, with him and Char, a place where I fit and can be who I was meant to. What we disagree on is who the real me is. Torturer, murderer and rapist or brother and friend.

The truth is I'm afraid, I know he's right and I don't belong here but I don't want to go back to who I was before. I can't.

"J we've been through this a hundred times . . . ."

"Four hundred twenty seven."

"Yeah, whatever. That vampire is gone. When was the last time old Nosey had a vision of you fuckin' up? For that matter when was the last time she had a vision?"

"I tried to eat the Ed Head's girlfriend, remember?"

"For fuck's sake." He growls quietly. "She was bleedin', all the veggies were smellin' the bacon, there musta been enough bloodlust there to make anyone lose it, never mind you, ya sponge. You've never ever been tempted since."

I lift my hat an' waggle my eyebrows suggestively in an attempt to distract him.

"Alright then smart ass, let's start there shall we?"

"She's just my type Pete, you know that. An' I knew she'd be an amazin' lay, she was always too passionate for that little prick, and it would have been a tragic waste to let him get there first."

I shiver at the memory of her warm supple body beneath me, wrapped around mine, writhing against me. The way she responded to my every touch, the agonising of pleasure of the way I responded to hers. I've never . . . .

"Really, such a good fuck that you were prepared to risk exposin' your continued existence to The Volturi just to make sure you got there first?"

A low growl escapes me.

"J, we've worked real hard to kill The Major off, so that everyone would assume he died with the wars and so you could learn to control him. And you outed yourself to those Italian scum so that she wouldn't be killed. What does that mean bro?"

"She's part of our family, we always protect our family."

He laughs. "Battlefield commanders have to take the hard decisions J, the best way to protect the rest of the family would have been to drain her on the spot, you taught me that."

Unthinkingly I start bangin' my head back against the trunk of the tree. I don't want to, I can't . . . .

Unfortunately Pete's not done.

"You risked your life and everyone else's to protect her. You haven't been able to stay away from her even though you know you're pushin' Alice to the point where she might actually call time on your marriage. The one you've been hangin' onto so hard all these years even though we _all_ know it's doomed to failure.

Every time anyone mentions the possibility of her meetin' a nice human boy at college your ass cheeks clench and every time she smiles at little Eddie he's a step closer to bein' the main attraction next fourth of July.

So what's the deal here J?"

Pressure is building in my chest but I can't speak so I just shake my head.

"You have feelings for her."

Still shaking my head.

"You love her."

"No." I whisper.

"You have feelings for her J, at least admit it."

"No!" It's almost a shout an' I bolt upright glaring at him.

He regards me with pity an' sorrow, I can feel it rollin' off him in waves.

"You couldn't bear the thought of anybody else touchin' her, you still can't. But at the same time you've done your best to ensure she'll never love you back. I hope for your sake you managed to fuck that up like everythin' else in your relationships."

"I _don't_ love her."

"Yeah you do J. You're just too chicken to admit it."

Pete's right.

I went after her even though it was puttin' at risk all the things I've been clingin' to for my own self preservation.

I exposed myself to The Volturi because it was the only way I could see to save her life.

I held back in the cabin because I knew she would regret it later if I didn't. She wasn't ready.

I was desperate to be the one to take her virginity. Not because it was a prize but because I couldn't bear the thought that someone else might not be gentle enough, wouldn't be able to make it as special as she deserved, wouldn't truly make love to her the way I could.

And I was as cold as I could bear to be about it because I didn't want her to develop feelings for me. Not to protect me, to protect _her_. The Ed Head has romantic notions about bein' a monster. I _am_ one.

I've only ever told one woman that I loved her and she didn't hear me.


	35. Chapter 35

**Disclaimer: Stephanie Meyer owns all.**

**Rated M for several reasons.**

**Chpt 34 Brave New World**

**RPOV**

Ah, college.

Still too many humans for my liking but so much better than high school. And New York State, so much better than Washington.

Char's done an amazing job on the house, we've each got a suite of our own rooms ranged around the shared heart of the house. Of course Bella's puritan roots were showing but she's here now so there isn't much she can do about it. Families and covens pool their resources, what's ours is hers, she'll get used to it.

And in the mean time she might just as well hang a sign around her neck for Pete. Take Piss Here. She's got so much to learn, when he told her she could help clean out the outbuildings to pay for her lavish accommodations she actually asked when he wanted her to start and he'd got her in a set of overalls and carrying a broom before Char caught him and punched his man card.

We didn't discuss her night with Jazz although I did point out that some scents don't wash off in the shower. She didn't even blush. Anyway Alice hasn't been round with a pitchfork and Bella seems perfectly normal so we'll chalk that one up to a lucky escape. I did ring him after she went to her room that first night but he just laughed, he really doesn't give a fuck about anything. Even Em was sanguine about it so after a while I calmed down and Char collected her winnings.

Bad Rose, betting on the sex life of people you care about.

We settled into our new life, new home and college easily. The Balsa Wood Boys got their business off the ground, it helps if you can handcraft a piece of furniture in five minutes a human would take months to make. Em says this is a gross over simplification of the craftsmanship involved but then he would, wouldn't he? I know they spend the time we're at school playing video games and measuring their bits, they're men, what else would they be doing.

Emo Ed's rung Bella a couple of times, she doesn't seem bothered, only giving him skimpy details of what she's doing and asking limited questions about him. I don't know whether it's because she doesn't care or she's just trying to maintain some distance until Nosey gets a new vision and the pressure is off.

We're deliberately trying to stay out of her college career as much as possible, we have a couple of classes together but that's it. She's gradually making her own circle of friends and seems much more sociable here than she was in Forks. She's even come home stinking drunk once, it was funny but it took us a week to get the stench of vomit out of the house.

Em's the one who is struggling. He worries about her all the time and is like a fly with two sugar cubes trying to keep the boys away from both of us. With his size and other worldly menace he's a very effective chastity belt for Bella, making sure to be seen dropping her off on campus from time to time. Pete's almost as bad so perhaps it's just as well she cashed in her v card on Jazz, it will take a human with balls of steel to make a serious move on her here.

If we don't drive in together she takes her motorcycle to school and privately we're all waiting for the emergency room call though she does seem to be getting less clumsy day by day.

For now we've kept our own names and the story about meeting in high school, we'll change all that when Bella's ready. Nobody seems to care, we're the slightly snooty rich kids who live in a mansion off campus, Bella being the only one the humans deem worth bothering with. There's quite a lot of jealousy directed at her but we haven't told her, she wouldn't know if the rest of us were just human so why upset her. She's not completely oblivious and seems to be picking her friends more wisely than she did in Forks.

The once dreaded nineteen passed with little incident. She doesn't like presents so we didn't get her any. Nosey sent her a coat she'll never wear and Emo Ed sent her a priceless Bronte edition which she uses to prop her balcony doors open when she wants some fresh air. Despite feeling the cold she seems quite partial to sleeping with the doors open so Em installed additional security around her rooms.

Ed, Alice and Jazz have all gone away to 'college' and Dr and Mrs Cullen are packing up and preparing to move now the kids have flown the nest. A tour with Medicines Sans Frontiers is the cover story this time. In reality they're moving to New Hampshire and starting high school again.

Angela and Ben are married. Bella was scandalised and I really don't understand her sometimes. Teenage pregnancy is fine but teenage marriage almost requires a pitchfork and a burning torch.

Jessica wasn't so lucky. Over Mrs Newton's dead body was little Mike going to marry her, pregnancy or not.

I don't understand Ed sometimes either, was that the normal human life he was hoping Bella would have. Over _my _dead body. As time goes on I'm catching up with Em, who had lots of sisters in his human life, boys equal potential trouble and shouldn't be permitted until after she's finished college. The worry, you have _no_ idea.

She has _no_ idea what a beautiful woman she's turning into and nowhere near enough experience to spot a cad when she sees one. I had to explain to her what a cad was, the young these days are _extremely_ ill educated.

**BPOV**

I wheel my bike into the garage, still undecided how to tell Rose that I have a date tonight.

I could just go out as usual, they wouldn't know, but somehow I can't see that working. She swears blind she doesn't have a gift but I'm not so sure, one look into those hard gold eyes and the urge to tell the whole truth or urinate is nearly overwhelming.

Chucking my helmet carelessly onto the workbench, I'll move it later before Rose sees it, I charge into the kitchen desperate for a hot drink. It's _cold_ out there.

"Careful Bells." Em chides me as I canon off his huge frame.

"Sorry." I mutter flicking the kettle on and rummaging in the cupboards. Coffee, I need coffee, that last lecture was so dull even I nearly fell asleep and I'm usually one of the more diligent members of the student body.

"Rose said to tell you she's gone shopping with Char." He says, hopping up on the counter. "And Pete wants to know if you'll come bowling with us tonight."

"Can't, meeting my friends."

"You went out last night too." He whines, shoving his lower lip out as far as it will go.

"That was a study group."

"Right Bells, I've been to college too you know."

"Yeah and Rose said you flunked out of everything, maybe you should have tried going to study group from time to time."

"Argh." He grips his heart falling backwards and knocking the pans off the rack with a clatter. "You wound me."

I snort and stir some sugar into my instant coffee, a new habit I've acquired.

"You'll rot your teeth." He huffs, tidying up his mess.

"Won't need them for more than a couple of years." I shrug.

"Good point. But you'll want them nice and sharp." He bears his lethal teeth at me. He's absurdly proud of his teeth which are apparently exceptional even for a vampire. He'd certainly make a fortune in toothpaste commercials.

Brush your teeth everyday children or we'll send the vampire round to suck your blood.

"So where are you going tonight?"

"I've got a date."

His eyes narrow dangerously and I roll mine. Here we go.

"It's a date Em, he's taking me to see a movie, I'm not going to marry the guy."

"Who is it?"

"You don't know him."

"Nice try. Who."

"Tom.

"Weedy Tom? The guy with beard?"

I nod, sipping my drink.

"His eyes are too close together, I don't trust him."

"I'll take my panic alarm and Charlie's pepper spray. I'll be fine."

"I'm not sure about this, maybe you should talk to Rose first."

"Talk to Blondie about what?" Pete enquires wandering in.

"She's got a date!" Em squeaks.

"Who with?" More narrowed eyes, god even Charlie was more relaxed than this.

"Beardy Tom, the one whose eyes are too close together. I think we should call Rose."

"Do what ever you need to do." I sigh. "I'm going in the shower."

I've always wanted a big brother and two come along at once, be careful what you wish for blah, blah, blah.

In my room I shrug out of my leathers and relax. I love my room, rooms, even though I still feel guilty about having so much space to myself. And my bathroom is heaven.

Showered I wrap myself in a towel and stretch out on the bed the sound of the rain lulling me off into a bout of narcolepsy.

I wake up refreshed after my nap and curious what my brothers are up to, oh well, I'll find out.

I dress conservatively in jeans. I don't really fancy Tom, he's cute but he doesn't really float my boat, but I feel morally obliged to do some normal things and all my friends are going out on dates. I like him so when he asked I amazed myself by agreeing. Like I told Em, I'm not going to marry him, I'm just going to let him take me out and see what happens.

Downstairs the dynamic duo are looking shifty.

"Can I borrow the truck?" I ask.

"You hate my truck." Em points out.

"I don't and it's raining, too dangerous for the bike, _please_?"

"Okay." He huffs ungraciously. "You'd better not bring it back with any beard hairs in it."

"What. Is. Wrong. With. Beards?"

"They're unhygienic."

"Okay. I'll squirt him with hand sanitizer before I kiss him, how does that sound?"

"Safer not to kiss him." Em growls.

"Duly noted, I'll see you later."

I scamper out to the garage and start the truck before they can think up a way to mess with my evening.

It starts out really well when I meet Tom for coffee. We've always got on great and so there's no awkwardness as we chat about the movies and books we like. As with everyone else there's curiosity about my 'friends' but no more so than usual so I can't mark him down for it. I'm a dowdy normal girl living with four mega rich super models, that's bound to draw some attention.

The movie is disappointing and we get more coffee after so we can pick it to pieces in comfort and it all feels very grown up and natural. We've a surprising amount in common and he's sort of grown on me over the evening, he really is quite cute.

A gentleman he walks me back to the truck and that's when it gets a little awkward. After a couple of false starts he finally leans in for a kiss and I find my mouth awaiting his almost eagerly.

His lips are soft and warm, his beard a bit tickly but not in a bad way. The kiss is hesitant, our lips moving lightly together, barely touching and it feels strangely antiseptic.

He moves closer resting his hands on my shoulders and injects a little pressure into it. Unsure what to do with my hands I reach up and cup his elbows, still waiting for something to happen.

I press my lips back against his warm pliable ones.

Nope. Nothing. I think there may be a problem with the dating thing. A big one.

As soon as politely possible I disengage pleading tiredness and promising to see him in class tomorrow. Then I drive home with a hint of vampiric lunacy.

Rose takes one look at my face and calls for wine and chocolate, banishing the protesting guys to their workshop.


	36. Chapter 36

**Disclaimer: Stephanie Meyer owns all.**

**Rated M for several reasons.**

**Chpt 35 The Blessing and The Curse**

**RPOV**

She's absolutely priceless.

I was prepared to tear into Em and Pete, what was the point in going along to keep an eye on her when they let her come home in this state? If he'd done anything to Bella that Tom's eyes wouldn't have been quite so close together when got up in the morning. Instead I find that she kissed him and has now decided that since her knees didn't go weak there must be something wrong with her.

I suppose despite her lack of experience she _has_ been a little bit spoilt. Poignant, emotion filled romantic kisses from Ed and a face sucking or two from Major Seduction are more than most girls her age could aspire to.

Char and I were as reassuring as we could be. No, we didn't think it was anything to do with his body temperature and there was every chance that someone breathing, other than Santa Claus or one of his North Pole dwelling elves, could provide some action in the knee department. Yes, there's nothing like a nice firm man but there is more variety of firm to experiment with than just marble. And yes, it is possible that she is in fact completely normal and that you cannot always rely on a good knee trembler being delivered on a first date.

Satisfied, she's taken herself off to bed and with a martyred sigh I excuse myself to go up to my own room. Worrying about other people is exhausting. No one ever worries about me anymore.

Stripping off I climb between the cool silk sheets of our shamefully ornate bed, Em refers to our bedroom as the tart's boudoir. I love it, it's ludicrously ostentatious and Char specifically chose the colors and lighting to show off my blonde beauty to perfection. To anyone else it would look like there is no evidence of Em's personality at all in this room but we know it's there, it's a room fit for a princess and I am his princess.

I feel the bed dip under his weight.

"Are you asleep?" He whispers into my ear.

I smile slightly and snuggle further into the pillow with a fake sleepy sigh. I love this game.

"Mmm." He hums quietly to himself. "What could I possibly do with a naked, sleeping, goddess?"

He traces the tips of his fingers lightly up and down my spine and I shiver.

"Should I worship her with my body?" He murmurs, lips following his fingers as he gently presses me face down into the bed.

Oh yes, this goddess _loves_ to be worshipped.

**BPOV**

Rose's dilemma is almost funny. On the one hand she wants me to enjoy as much of being human as I can but on the other all the pregnancies in Forks have clearly freaked her out. My brothers in contrast are very clear where they stand. I suspected they followed me on my first date with Tom but I _know _they did on the second one because just as our lips were locking at the end of the night Em appeared silently behind Tom's left shoulder making strangling motions. I learnt something new, laughing when a man is trying to kiss you does _not_ get you a third date. At least we were able to go back to being friends afterwards, he was very forgiving.

I haven't been tempted again, despite the gratifyingly frequent offers. I was never that obsessed with boys in the first place, and despite my short intense relationship with Edward and the loss of my virginity to a lothario almost ten times my age, that doesn't seem to have changed. I sort of believe what Rose and Char said about being able to find a living breathing man just as attractive but since I'm going to be a vampire one day anyway it doesn't seem worth bothering about. My memories of Jasper's Tent will keep me going in the meantime.

The love I have for my new family grows everyday as does my resolve to become a vampire. The atmosphere at college encourages open debate, which even I am starting to engage in, but despite all the wide ranging hopes and dreams for the future my classmates and friends have shared I've felt not even the slightest tug to change mine. Not that they're that different, I want to belong and I want to be loved, and one day I'd like someone to love me the way Em and Pete do their wives.

Renee and I are drifting further and further apart, our emails and calls are getting less and less frequent as we move on to new phases in our lives, so I feel more comfortable about leaving her completely when the time comes.

The only real blip on my plan is Charlie. He doesn't really do emails or phone calls but we _have_ spoken and I know he misses me as much as I miss him. Not bad for two habitual loners. And I can't help worrying about how he's going to react when I eventually meet with my 'fatal' accident, hurting one family so I can I live forever with a new one is not something I'm going to find easy. Char's advice was to spend as much time as I can with my father now and remember that he would want me to do what's best for me, knowing that one day he's going to leave me anyway.

Hence my trip back to Forks for the holidays while the others go visit with the Cullens. I'm really looking forward to seeing Charlie and it helps that this way I don't have to see Edward. Because Edward and I are having issues at the moment.

At first it wasn't too bad. I was relieved to be away from Alice's expectations and Edward's hope and I can't deny it was nice to talk to someone on the phone that cared about me and just wanted to know how I was doing. But over the months he's been talking more about wanting to try again and that makes me really uncomfortable. I told him I still loved him and I meant it at the time and he _will _always hold a place in my heart but the idea of being involved with him _romantically_ again leaves me cold. And like the coward I am, what I want to avoid is actually having to tell him.

So with all that in mind my greeting for Charlie when he picked me up at the airport was probably a lot more full on than he was expecting, but he coped with it manfully.

We stopped to get our tree on the way home, laughing as we picked the sorriest looking example we could find to lavish our TLC on.

Charlie decorated it with our ancient stock of baubles while I went to the store to get all the supplies we'd need for the festive break. Driving my truck brought back so many memories, it still smelled the same and ran the same, as in slowly, and I mentally reminded myself not to tell Charlie I've been happily riding a powerful bike to school.

He's had a pretty full social calendar planned and I feel a bit guilty remembering my childhood complaints about how dull Forks was. We fished, that _was_ dull, we went to a party at La Push which was awkward, we had dinner at the diner with his deputies and their families and we went to a recital in Port Angeles which had both of us squirming in discomfort but laughing our heads off on the way home.

I love my dad.

Christmas day was great. We cooked the dinner together, bickering all the while about how to do it, apparently Grandma Swan was a stickler for certain things and I learnt more about the Swan family than I've ever known before. And I _bitterly_ regretted my mental absence last year.

We ate the lot, both of us changing into our sweats afterwards and stretching ourselves out, groaning, in the living room.

"So what are your plans for the future?" He asks when we've finished watching the Christmas special of our favourite show.

"Um. I don't know, I need to finish college and then I'll see . . . ."

"Bella." Charlie fixes me with his professional hard stare. "I've lived in Forks all my life. I'm a policeman. My two best friends are Quileutes."

"Um."

"I know what the Cullens are Bella, I've always known."

"Um." Shit. Keep quiet, this is a common technique for extracting information, pretending to know about something you suspect.

Oh god he's staring at me. Don't speak, don't speak.

After an interminable silence his lips quirk up into a smile.

"Nice try Bells but I do actually know."

"Um." Shit, how can he know, what does he know?

"You know." He says conversationally. "When Billy found out you were going away to college with them and I was allowing it he didn't speak to me for over a month."

"Um, ah." Total mental shutdown.

"Really Bells?" He chuckles. "All that money we've shelled out for you to go to a top college and all you can manage is Um?"

"Ch-Dad . . . . Um."

He sets his beer down so he can indulge in a full belly laugh.

What the fuck? I've stumbled into the twilight zone.

"I searched the federal database." He says when he's stopped laughing. "I thought I might find something entitled 'So your Daughter is Going to Become a Vampire' but apparently no such guidance notes exist. Go figure, the fecking thing is useless anyway."

"Um."

"You need to do better than that Bells, I'm your father." He admonishes gently, joking done.

"Have you always known?" I manage to croak , wishing with all my heart that Rose was here, she'd know exactly how to handle this.

"Yes. Harry and Billy couldn't help themselves, the day Dr Cullen turned up at the hospital they went into lynch mob mode. I managed to head it off at the pass but in the end they felt they had to tell me what the real issue was. In fact they had to tell me a couple of times before I went and faced off to Carlisle on their allegations."

"Holy shit." I mutter.

"Quite." He allows. "Carlisle was very matter of fact and his story tallied with what the guys had already told me. I didn't know what to do. I mean, there wasn't anything I could do. I would have ended up either dead or in the nut house.

So in the best tradition I decided to wait and see. The family moved in. They didn't cause any trouble. Nobody died. Despite my fear I had to accept that they were genuine, that Carlisle had told the truth, that they didn't, um, er, eat people.

The more time went on, despite Harry and Billy's animosity, the less reason I could find to hate the Cullens and the more I was able to convince myself that whatever was going on it was _safe_. I'm a cop Bells, I knew there was something different about them and I know Harry and Billy, so despite how crazy it all seemed I just learnt to accept it.

So much so that I didn't give it a second thought when you decided to come and live with me. Which was one of the happiest days of my life by the way.

When you announced you were dating Edward Cullen I nearly had a heart attack. But what could I do? You'd have had me committed if I said anything, I had to trust my instincts about them, that you'd be okay."

"I already knew, then." I interrupt.

"Yes, I found out afterwards. Carlisle and I had words. I trusted him Bells, still do, when he said you'd be safe. But it wasn't easy."

"So you hated Edward because he was a vampire?"

"No Bells. I _hate_ Edward because he mulled over your relationship, came to his own conclusion and fucked off without discussing it with you. Which is exactly what your mother did to me."

My mouth makes a round O of surprise.

"Yeah." He says ruefully. "Parents can be bitter too."

"Oh dad." I gasp, throwing myself into his lap. "I'm so sorry."

"Don't apologise for what happened between me and your mom." He says gruffly, hugging me to him. "If you're apologising for not coming clean about the vampire thing then don't bother. I can _completely_ understand why you wouldn't tell me that, I didn't tell you either, I refer to my previous nut house comment."

"Oh dad." I whimper, hugging him back. "Phoenix?"

"Carlisle told me everything." He shrugs. "I'm afraid it didn't improve my opinion of Edward, even though he saved your life."

"Why?" I feel compelled to ask.

He growls.

"Why?" I press.

"If it was Renee." He answers quietly. "I would never have left your side or entrusted your safety to others. I understand why they did what they did, it makes perfect sense strategically. But I wouldn't have been able to do it."

"That's a bit . . . ." I hesitate for a moment. "_Romantic_."

"Bella Swan." He growls. "Be careful how you speak to your father."

I laugh, I can't help it. And then I sober up big time.

"Do you mind? I mean, it's not natural, I'll be, um, er, dead."

"Bells." He sighs into my hair. "Apparently dead is relative. As your dad I can't help but be pleased by the idea you'll live forever, that no one will be able to hurt you, at least physically.

I'm not chuffed about the Edward situation, he's a dick and unworthy.

But I can see that Rosalie and the others, they love you, what more can a father wish for? I hope you find a personal love one day, someone who truly deserves you, but hey, you'll have plenty of time to look. Absolutely no reason to rush and make a bad decision, I'm trusting you on that Bells. Use the extra time you'll have wisely, love someone who loves you back, with every fibre of their being.

Just respect your old dad by not chowing down on _people_, if you can."

In the absence of words I grip him tightly.

"Bells I don't understand the mechanics of all this, but um, when you 'die' _please_, find a way to let me know . . . ."

"I will. I _promise_."

"Okay, good." He states. "You can get off me now by the way, my stomach is really full."

Oh.


	37. Chapter 37

**Disclaimer: Stephanie Meyer owns all.**

**Rated M for several reasons.**

**Chpt 36 Visitors and Other Annoyances**

**RPOV**

After the holidays everything gets back to normal.

College is going really well and the three of us are having a great time. For Char and Bella it's all new anyway but even I'm having fun this time, I picked much less intense courses than I usually do and I think I might have found something I can do as a career from time to time. Just call me Rosalie Gekko, the business woman who never sleeps. Em's impressed but not so much when I start making suggestions about their business, if I do have a go at something it'll have to be separate in the interests of marital harmony.

I was absolutely furious about Charlie. Furious that we Cullens don't seem to be able to keep our mouths shut when it comes to not revealing our identities and furious that something like that could happen without Carlisle thinking he needed to tell us.

The only upside is that Charlie doesn't seem to know very much. The Quileutes weren't able to tell him anything except their putrid little prejudices and Carlisle was careful to only ever give him the positives. Bella said he didn't even ask her any questions, saying he knows as much as he wants to and the rest didn't matter.

But still it burns me up that he knew. Carlisle even told him the truth about what happened in Phoenix, for god's sake he's lucky Charlie didn't come after the Ed Head with a shotgun in public.

Bella played it cool, I'm quite proud of her, which was a good thing because it turns out the dogs hadn't told him anything about Victoria and the newborns or the fact that they're phasing again. She was massively relieved because if he'd known he would never have gone to Seattle.

Still at least it all explains why he always took such perverse pleasure in trying to get one of us to eat something. He must have been laughing himself stupid at our attempts to come off as normal humans, which pisses me off almost as much as the danger of him knowing our secret.

Despite the danger of another human knowing about us I'm glad that Bella will be able to stay in touch with her dad to some degree, I still miss mine. I love Carlisle but he didn't teach me to walk, catch a ball, stand up to my brothers or hop on and off a trolley car in a long skirt when it's moving.

Worry, an increasingly familiar sensation which I do _not_ like. I have a number of worries filed away in my mind, with fragile Bella's safety always running through it like a ticker tape, but there are plenty of others.

Alice, Ed and Jazz are coming to stay with us for Spring Break and The Balsa Wood Boys have converted one of the outbuildings into a guest house for Nosey and Jazz. I wanted them to do one of the smaller ones for Ed but they refused saying they need it for storage but when I asked what for they got very shifty, another worry. I if I were human I'd be running short of hair and I take my hat off to Esme, how she coped with all of us and our lunatic schemes I'll never know. She wanted to come this visit but she and Carlisle have been roped into some big charity event at his hospital so they're stuck in New Hampshire entertaining the great and the good.

I've a feeling this visit is going to be a bit tense but I think it's important to get it out of the way. We're a family and we're going to be together, one way or another, forever. Alice needs to get used to the idea that life has moved on and left her vision behind and the Ed Head has to understand that Bella has moved on and left _him_ behind. The sooner the better for both of them, there's nothing to be gained by hanging onto the past. As for Jazz, well I can't make him sort his life out so as long as Major Zipper Problem behaves himself while he's here we're good.

There is also the question of the purple rose. I found it crushed between the pages of her absurdly large reference book when I borrowed it for homework. I thought it was funny and extremely Emo Ed to give her a purple rose for love at first sight and to signify that she'd enchanted him but I was a bit surprised she'd kept it, she's not a particularly sentimental person. When she shrugged casually and told me Jazz had given it to her my undead heart nearly started beating. Em gave me a purple rose once, I still have the dust of it in a locket I wear sometimes, it was a very, very romantic gesture. When I asked her if she knew what it meant I got snark 'a blue rose and a red rose got frisky'. She doesn't like to talk about her little indiscretion but I didn't get the impression she saw any significance in the rose. I sure as hell did though. Jazz might not have a romantic bone in his body but he's not daft and he's lived with me, Alice and Esme long enough to know about flowers.

I tried quizzing Pete about it but he claimed not to know anything, citing Jazz's track record with the ladies and suggesting it was probably an accident, we all know Bella likes purple. I'm not convinced but there is no evidence Jazz has developed feelings for Bella and I'm not even sure he's got it in him to fall in love. In the end I decided it was a ridiculous and just a coincidence, I mean this is Jazz we're talking about, and filed it away with my other insubstantial worries.

But with their arrival imminent it's out now, getting some fresh air.

Not that there's much of that to be had in the house at the moment. Char is one of the most easy going level headed vampires I know but with guests on their way her southern hostess roots are showing. She's an absolute nightmare and Pete's dubbed her The Charminator.

We've scrubbed the house from top to bottom, twice, even though Bella is very clean for a human. The scents of all the flowers Char's laid on are fighting a losing battle with disinfectant and furniture polish and the windows are so clean and clear we've had two bird strikes already. Bella's gone to class in a strop because The Charminator has washed her favourite blanket and ruined the _smell _and I'm hiding outside in the workshop because I'd rather be in here with the spiders than in the house scrubbing toilets with a toothbrush.

To top it all off Pete's spent the last two days chuckling quietly to himself. Char says he's got a feeling about this familial visit but he won't tell any of us what it is. Given all the variables I can't see it being anything good.

When I can no longer hear The Charminator barking orders in the house I make my way indoors trying hard for an air of someone who's been absent on legitimate business.

'Coward.' Em mouths at me as I sashay past him twirling my toothbrush.

"Rose's back." Pete yells, the sneak.

"Thank god." Char appears looking slightly annoyed. "Did you finish the toilets?"

"Yep."

She eyes me suspiciously then gets distracted. "Pete you're leaving streaks." She howls, darting off to supervise.

"I'm going in the shower." I announce.

"Clean it out when you're done." She admonishes, grabbing Pete's rag and rubbing at an invisible mark on the window.

"I'm going too." Em calls, stuffing his duster behind a cushion and hurrying after me.

"Jeez." He huffs as he strips off to join me in the shower. "She's a _nightmare_, she's worse than my Ma."

Making consoling noises I move around behind him in the hot jet of water, kneading the muscles across his shoulders just the way he likes.

"Oh babe." He moans, head falling forwards. "That's _so_ good. I thought I'd fallen into the twilight zone and joined the army of cleanliness."

"Poor baby." I murmur, pressing a kiss between his mighty shoulder blades.

"Hurry up in there!" A steely voice orders from the bowels of the house. "Bella's out, the rest of us should at least be present and correct when they get here."

"Oh I can be quick." Em drawls, turning around and gathering me into his massive arms.

Twenty minutes later we are indeed all present and correct as Ed's new personality free Volvo sweeps down the drive.

Fantastic.

He's scowling already, Alice's faced is so pinched she looks like she's had a facelift and Jazz is smiling fit to bust.

"What the hell's wrong with them?" I hiss at him as we follow the others into the house.

"The Ed Head was plannin' on having a heart to heart with Bella this trip but Alice had a vision that it wouldn't go very well so now he's sulkin'."

"And Alice?" I ask as he drapes his arm casually over my shoulder.

"Is havin' some issues with a husband who won't do as he's told."

"What did you do?" I giggle. It's really hard not to like him no matter how much trouble he causes.

"I came _here_ Blondie." He chuckles. "An' she wanted me to stay at home."

Oh hell. I give up. As long as nobody hurts Bella I'm going to buckle up and enjoy the ride.

Our hostess with the mostest conducts the tour, extolling the virtues of the house to a murmur of insincere interest from Alice, boring sensible questions from the Ed Head and much sniggering from The Balsa Wood Boys and Jazz.

Even Alice can't fail to say something nice about the guest house as Jazz dumps their bags on the sumptuous bed and conducts a brief bounce test.

"Nice Char." He drawls. "I like a bed with plenty of _give_."

We're back in the living room when the roar of Bella's bike alerts us to her return. All eyes turn to the huge glass wall at the front of the house which frames her arrival like a TV screen, giving it an almost surreal, film like quality.

She storms down the drive screeching to a halt right outside the door, which has Emo Ed hissing in disapproval, and the rest of us smiling at her obvious mastery of the machine. And I growl as she lays yet another rubber trail on my once pristine blacktop. Minx.

Then she swings off the bike, unconsciously giving us all a good view of her body in her form fitting leathers, I make a sudden resolution to get her something bulkier, and takes her helmet off shaking out her long chestnut hair which cascades down her slim back.

Major Seduction's eyes immediately turn predatory and even Emo Ed looks a little flustered.

Then suddenly he howls at Jazz, completely forgetting that Nosey is sat beside him on the couch.

"Don't think about her that way you pervert!"

Everyone gasps, still staring out the window as an oblivious Bella swings towards us and starts tugging down her zip, hair swinging from side to side with the sway of her hips. Really, if it weren't so serious I'd be laughing and if I were directing, we'd be in slow motion at this point.

Its like watching a sexually charged train wreck.

Alice turns to Jazz, her face even more pinched, angry words forming on her lips.

Ed's eyes go wide in shock.

Pete and Em start getting to their feet.

Bella opens the door, the warm smile of greeting dying on her face as I dash toward her.

"You didn't." Ed screams, hurling himself at Jazz. "You depraved _monster_, I'll fucking _kill_ you for this."

"Not in the house!" Char shrieks.

And then things get ugly.


	38. Chapter 38

**Disclaimer: Stephanie Meyer owns all.**

**Rated M for several reasons.**

**Chpt 37 Spring Break Up**

**BPOV**

I've been worrying about our Spring Break visitors for weeks. Not really wanting to see Edward, _really_ not wanting to see Alice and conflicted about seeing Jasper. And I'm not the only one, the tension in the house has been almost palpable.

I suppose it's understandable, everyone here knows my dirty little secret and the potential for disaster is enormous. But as they days flew by I managed to get in the spirit of the thing, as Rose keeps telling me, they're family and we're stuck with them.

So when class was over I raced home eager to see our visitors.

Nothing prepared me for the sight that greets my eyes.

The living room is a blur of motion and a storm of noise and I'm grateful for Rose's presence, hovering protectively over me, as furniture goes flying and hard stone bodies crash into the walls.

"What's happening?" I squeak.

"Cat's out of the bag." Rose growls, pushing me further behind her.

"What? Could you _be_ any more cryptic." Yeah, she's rubbing off on me.

"Major Horny was pleased to see you." She explains, backing us into the corner. "Ed got in his head."

"Oh my god." I gasp.

"Yep. But I'm afraid he's not going to help us now."

"What's _happening_?" I ask again.

"Ed went for Jazz, threatening to kill him." She says matter of factly. "Em and Pete are trying to stop Jazz from killing Ed which is, frankly, the far more likely outcome."

"Is it working?" I ask in a small voice, closing my eyes.

"Not really." She drawls. "But Char's hidden all the lighters and cut the supply to the gas stove so Ed might get away with it."

"This is all my fault." I moan.

"Not completely. But I'm sure you can say something nice at Ed's funeral to make up for it."

An inappropriate bark of laughter escapes me and she reaches back to grip my shoulder.

"Em's got Jazz in a headlock." She reports, the relief evident in her voice. "And Pete's sitting on him."

"Is Edward alright?" I ask, my voice sounding loud in the sudden absence of noise.

"He'll recover." She says crisply.

"Can I get up now?" I ask opening my eyes and trying to peer round her.

"You might want to close your eyes and let me carry you up to your room." She suggests.

I shake my head. I'm responsible for this, I need to see.

"Brave but stupid." She mutters, letting me up and moving away, slightly.

Oh brilliant. Why can't I ever take good advice?

The living room, den and most of the kitchen are completely destroyed. Furniture crushed, light fittings swinging maniacally, glass still tinkling and disembodied items rolling crazily across the floor trying to mate with each other.

Out on the deck Em does indeed have Jasper in a head lock, with Pete sitting on his back twisting one of his ankles viciously and Char bent down whispering urgently in his ear.

Alice is MIA and Edward is everywhere. And I mean, _everywhere_.

His torso is on top of the lopsided coffee table, head hanging to one side, huge gash in his neck hampering his efforts to speak. One of his legs is sticking up out of Char's planter, toes wiggling frantically at the shredded end of his shoe, the other is resting almost casually on the couch.

Insanely the only thing I can think of is that I've finally seen his boy bits.

But before I can look for the rest of him my stomach has a human moment and I lunge sideways heaving my cafeteria lunch into Char's deathday present while Rose pats me awkwardly on the back. Horror movies really can't prepare you for the sight of a genuine animated corpse.

"Bedroom?" She asks and I nod weakly.

"Stay here." She orders depositing me carefully on the bed. "Ed will be fine, he's a vampire, he's a jigsaw puzzle vampire at the moment, but it's nothing we can't put back together."

I close my eyes. Narcolepsy, narcolepsy, please god I need not to have to think about this right now.

Nope, no rest for the wicked. My eyes pop open and I sit up.

Holy shit.

I get changed and make my way downstairs.

I'm so relieved to see a reconstructed Edward sitting on the couch in a bathrobe that I rush over and give him an impulsive hug. He buries his face in my hair and I feel Em's fingers snarl in my sweater pulling me away.

"Edward." He says warningly.

"Are you okay?" I gasp as Em drags me free.

"Yes." Edward nods reassuringly. "I'm fine. I just need to hunt."

"Oh. Sorry." Oops, hungry vampire.

He smiles ruefully.

"I don't mind. I'm glad _you_ are okay."

"Um." Embarrassed I look down and inspect my sneakered feet.

"I can't believe he did that to you." Edward says, his voice heavy with sorrow.

Oh now. What's this?

"I always knew he was a monster, but to use his gift on you like that, it beggars belief he could be so _degenerate_."

"His gift?" I squeak.

Edward looks down at his hands, twisting them obsessively.

"He _influenced _you, he raped you."

"You think he _raped_ me?" I gasp in shock. Em wraps his arms around me, hugging me to his chest.

"That's what it amounts to Bella, if he used his gift. Look what he did to me, he has no self-control and no morals."

"You tried to kill him." I point out reasonably.

"I would do anything to protect you." He breathes, fixing his liquid gold cow eyes on me.

Jeez. Get a new trick boy. We're so over this one.

"I appreciate the sentiment Edward but you probably should have got your facts straight by talking to one of us first. I know what Jasper's influence feels like, I've felt it, in school and in Phoenix. I would have known if he'd tried to use that on me again. _Known_. How fucking stupid do you think I am?"

I don't like his implication that I'd be so easy to manipulate or the tarnish he's unwittingly trying to put on what was actually an incredible experience for me. Fury sweeps through me like a cold orgasm, starting in my toes and rising rapidly until it spews out of my mouth.

"I hate to burst your sanctimonious bubble but what if I wanted Jasper to make love to me? What if I enjoyed it? Hell, how do you know I didn't instigate it!"

"Bells." Em warns, his arms tightening around my suddenly rigid body. "Don't kick a man while he's down."

"Excuse me _Emmett_." I snarl. "But I don't believe you've just had _your_ intelligence and allure compared to a dysenteric amoeba. Edward I'm sorry to have to tell you this but he didn't have to use his gift to get me into his bed. In fact he didn't even have to try very hard, I _wanted_ him, and if I live for another thousand years my only regret will be hurting Alice."

The silence is heavily charged as I stare him down.

"I don't think I know you anymore." He says quietly, eyes full of regret.

Humph. That makes two of us. I'm surprised by my strong my desire to stick up for Jasper, who brings out a mixture of feelings in me, mostly horny if I'm honest but other more complex ones too. _And_ my lack of remorse in the face of discovery. Fuck it, plenty of people have done worse.

I shake my head and Em releases me, sensing that I'm calming down.

"I'm sorry Edward." I manage to say finally. "But I wouldn't take it back even if I could."

Not that it's any of your business anyway, I add viciously in my head.

"Come on Ed." Em urges, helping him up. "You need to hunt."

"Where is everyone?" I ask, noticing that we're alone in the house.

"Rose is with Alice in the guest house." He informs me. "And Pete and Char have taken Jasper off somewhere to calm him down. He's difficult to deal with when he flips out."

I nod, not really understanding but not in the mood to ask for an explanation. It's turned into a trying day.

Em escorts a weak looking Edward out of the hole in the wall and I set the alarm, pointlessly, and head back to my bed suddenly exhausted and aware that dealing with the Ed Head is probably the least of my problems.

**JPOV**

Eventually Char's continued mantra pulls me back from the abyss. Fuckin' Edward, I can take him threatening me but threatening Bella sent me right over the edge, I don't care whether he meant it in the heat of the moment or not.

"Are you mad at me?" I ask my wife as I let myself into the guest house.

"No more than usual." She says sourly.

"Really? You don't find the fact that I fucked our 'little sister' in any way disturbing or upsetting?"

"Stop trying to twist things Jazz." She snaps. "We both know we can move past this."

"What's the point?"

Her annoyance spikes but she decides to ignore me.

"What's the point of moving past this?" I press. "Where does it get us, where does it ever get us?"

"Jazz, Jasper." She whispers looking stricken. "We can't give up, not so close. Edward will forgive Bella, he loves her, they'll be together and then we can be a proper family again. The way it was always meant to be."

"Alice, honey, Bella doesn't love Edward. She would never, we would never . . . ."

"She's just confused." Alice rushes on. "You really don't help with that Jazz, I wish you would just leave her alone so she can sort out her feelings for Edward and realise that she misses him."

She really is in denial and I watch in silence as she paces back and forth running through scenarios in her head, trying to make them work, determination rolling off her in waves. And I can't do this anymore. I'm not sure where that leaves me or how I'll cope but I can't _do _this anymore.

I am so sorry for her. Sorry for all the trouble I've caused her over the years and sorry for how hard I've made her work for her unobtainable dream. But it's time for her to give up on that and accept that fate has something different in mind, maybe the last thing I can do for her is to give her a shove in the right direction. Because I can't _ever_ give her my love or my fidelity, these days I can't even bring myself to give her my support. All these things belong to someone else.

"Alice." I interrupt her. "Alice!"

She stops pacing and turns to me.

"Alice we can't do this anymore. We don't love each other and we don't need each other . . . ."

"I do need you Jazz, you're part of it, you were always part of it . . . ."

"Alice. Bella and Edward are finished. Rose and Em have moved out and started a family of their own. This dream you're clingin' to darlin', it's over."

This explosion has been coming since the night Rose announced the new coven and my wife launches herself at me, clawing and screaming as I hold her tight, telling her over and over to let it go, to let me go.

The pain and frustration slowly bleed out of her and eventually her tiny body rests easily in my arms.

"What do I do?" She asks in a small scared voice.

"Go home Mary Alice." I kiss her hair. "Go home to the family who love you, open yourself up to a new future that could be just as good if not better that the one you dreamed of. Learn to let it go."

"What if I can't?"

"You can, you're a strong woman. You survived on your own for all that time and then you carried me with you. You have to do this."

"You're not giving me a choice are you?" She asks in a defeated voice.

"No darlin' I'm not. This, what we have, it's not healthy for either of us. I can't let you drag me along for ever and you can't waste your life trying to hold onto a dream. We don't even respect each other anymore, there's too much we've swept under the carpet, neither of us are getting what we want and we're just making each other miserable."

"What will _you_ do?"

I have no fuckin' idea.

**BPOV**

I snap awake, fear coursing through me, but a waft of fresh cotton invades my senses and immediately I relax.

"You shouldn't be here." I mutter sleepily.

"So you keep tellin' me." He chuckles. "I'll go if you want . . . ."

"Please." I whisper. "Don't . . . ."

Silently he settles on the bed behind me, pulling me tight into his chest and spooning me through the covers.

Involuntarily I sigh and my tense muscles unwind.

"Go to sleep little narcoleptic." He murmurs. "I'll still be here in the morning."


	39. Chapter 39

**Disclaimer: Stephanie Meyer owns all.**

**Rated M for several reasons.**

**Chpt 38 And Major Makes Six**

**BPOV**

I wake up slowly, drifting lazily in and out of consciousness, safe and warm.

Gradually it dawns on me that something isn't quite right. My head is resting on the comforter over a stone pillow, left arm and left leg thrown over an immobile blanket draped body. Comfortable and enveloped in a haze of fresh cotton, I snuggle against him with a sigh, vaguely recalling him coming to me in the middle of the night.

Nice, so nice not to be alone after all the drama of yesterday.

This can't be right can it, waking up in the morning draped over someone else's husband. Feeling right, feeling contented?

Oh shit. I must be crazy, _he_ must be crazy. Where the hell is Alice?

"You're awake." He observes and I realise he has an arm around me.

"Yes and you shouldn't be here."

"I know."

"Where's Alice?"

"Gone home with the Ed Head."

Oh. I really should be moving away from him about now. I give the subject of Alice a mental poke and decide to start somewhere else.

"You nearly killed Edward." I accuse.

"Not even close." He chuckles with no sign of remorse. "Besides he pissed me off."

"That simple huh?"

"He should have known better than to start something with me." I feel him shrug.

"Don't you think your reaction was a little bit extreme?"

"No."

"PhD level question?" I ask, getting annoyed and seriously thinking about moving away from him. In a minute.

"That really bothers you doesn't it?" He asks with amusement.

"So does changing the subject."

"It's not a PhD thing but it's difficult for me to talk about." He sighs. "Will you trust me when I say I had my reasons?"

"For now."

Another chuckle.

Oh hell, I'm snuggled up in bed with her husband, the least I can do is ask why she's gone home without him. "Why has Alice gone?"

"We had a long talk last night and decided we were better off apart. It's been coming for a long time."

"My fault." I murmur, allowing my guilt out for a trip round me.

"No, not even close." He says, squeezing me to him. "You should know she was far more upset that I might be distracting you from a touchin' reunion with the Ed Head than she was about what happened between us."

I know a gross over simplification when I hear one and it spawns a million questions but since he's extremely unlikely to answer any of them I don't bother asking.

"I'm still sorry your marriage is over." I offer eventually, it seems the right thing to say.

"Humph." Is his only response.

"What will you do?"

"I don't know." The bleak emptiness in his normally rich deep voice startles me, maybe he does love her and just has a very peculiar way of showing it. My guilt has another jog around the perimeter track.

"You could stay with us?" I suggest, there are people who care about him here.

"I think Rose might have a thing or two to say about that." He chuckles. "She'd certainly have a thing or two to say if she knew I was here in your bed."

"Why _are_ you here in my bed?" I ask realising belatedly that it should have been my first question under the circumstances. How very freshman of me.

He is silent for a moment and I think he isn't going to answer.

"I didn't want to be alone." His voice is barely audible and I wonder if he really meant for me to hear.

Oh _Jasper_. My heart twists unexpectedly, I know some of his history and I think a sensible person would revile him as a monster but I've never been very sensible and I don't.

The silence stretches out and I hug myself to him as hard as I can.

"I really hate it when people feel sorry for me." He says eventually, in the same tone he'd probably use to describe the weather.

"I'm not people." I murmur.

"No. You're certainly not. But it isn't what I want."

"Is it so strange that I want you to be happy even though I hardly know you?" My mouth asks before my brain can stop it.

"Not from where I'm sittin'." He mutters unhappily.

Alright, this is weird, weird, weird. I really should be getting up now. Instead I close my eyes and concentrate on breathing in his scent.

"Do I smell nice?" He asks in a lighter tone.

"Mmm. You smell like cotton." I sigh. Oi! Brain! Shouldn't you be controlling the mouth?

To my relief he laughs, shaking my body with his. "Your own personal air freshener?"

"Every girl should have one." I giggle.

"We have to get up." He says after a moment, another abrupt change of pace.

I look up at him for the first time, a pout on my face. Dear god he's a beautiful man, it's like looking into the sun and I blink stupidly.

"The others are back." He chuckles, clearly amused by the swift change in my emotions.

To confirm his words Rose's voice cuts through the house like a knife.

"You two had better get down here, and the explanation better be a damn good one!"

He plants an unexpected soft kiss on my lips and I close my eyes for a moment wondering what the hell is wrong with me, because I still don't want to move away from him.

"I'm waiting." Rose yells angrily.

On second thoughts maybe I do. While he rocks with laughter I lurch to my feet surveying my rumpled clothing with distaste.

"Leave it." He laughs. "We can use it as Exhibit A if Rose gets nasty."

He's right, no one could mistake the fact that I've clearly slept in my clothes.

Getting to his feet he offers me his hand with a smile. "Face the music together?"

I take it and his cool fingers close around mine, hand in hand we head downstairs to face the wrath of Rose.

"Well isn't this sweet." She drawls, inspecting our linked hands and Jasper's body angled slightly in front of mine.

Char, Pete and Em are smirking as they set down all the building supplies they've obviously been out fetching.

"Cut it out Rose." Jasper says easily. "She was havin' nightmares and you guys weren't around so I went to sit with her."

Rose snorts.

"It's true." I pipe up. "I woke up this morning and found him sitting in the armchair, we were talking when you guys came home." Best not to tell her I spent most of the night curled round him like a virginia creeper.

Her hard eyes bore into mine and I can tell she knows I'm not being entirely honest but after a moment she apparently decides to let it go.

"Bella, you've got class and you and your bed hair are going to be late." She snaps. "Jazz, I think we've got all the supplies you'll need, have fun fixing the mess you made yesterday."

Nobody moves.

"Well go on then both of you!" She orders. "Bella's not getting any younger."

Dismissed I drop Jasper's hand and flee back upstairs before she changes her mind and has me hefting drywall or something.

**RPOV**

Bella only has a couple of classes this morning before she's done for Spring Break so my conversation with Jazz will need to be quick.

Yesterday evening I spent hours talking with Alice, the usual things that always get said when Jazz has one of his more spectacular fuck ups or Pete's been poking his oar in. Why do you stay together, why don't you just let it go, why do keep torturing each other and the rest of us, you don't even love each other, blah, blah, blah, blah. Pete and Char were probably having the same conversation with Jazz, again. It never changes anything so you could have knocked me down with a feather when he and Nosey emerged from the guesthouse some hours later and announced it was all over.

Jazz took himself off out of the way and being the dutiful sister, I consoled Alice and then helped her repack her stuff. When Em brought Ed back I consoled him too, yes Jazz is a monster, no Bella's right she gave it up without a fight and no coercion was required, yes it really is all your own fault and yes, she has changed, is changing and is rapidly moving away from the sweet child you idolised.

Sympathised out I packed them both back into the Volvo and waved them off down the drive with a massive sense of relief.

Then I rounded up Pete, Char and Em for a tour of the local building supply companies and left Jazz in charge of the house.

I realised my mistake as soon as we got back, I had assumed that with his marriage freshly deceased Major Impulse Control would have more on his mind than trying to get into Bella's panties but clearly I was wrong. As Carlisle always says 'assume makes an ass out of u and of me'.

Jazz's bare faced lie and Bella's surprisingly convincing support don't fool me and since he's clearly going to stay here with us, his family, I think a few ground rules are in order.

A furious huff escapes me as I watch Bella's bike disappear around the bend in the drive. I might have some hope of her following any rules I set down for her protection, but with Jazz I've got no chance, so I think that he at least owes me an explanation of what I'm protecting her from.

Em, Pete and Char have already made themselves scarce when I march back into the house, watching him work in silence for several minutes, might as well let him get most of the structural work done before I piss him off.

"Blondie." He says eventually without looking up from his task. "You're burnin' a hole in the back of my head. Why don't you just say what you've got to say?"

"Can't you ever take anything seriously?" I snap.

"I take a lot of things seriously, you know that." He responds.

"Oh yeah, sorry, I forgot. You take perceived insults and baseless threats seriously. You take avoiding facing up to anything you don't want to face up to seriously. And you take chasing skirt seriously. Did I miss anything?"

Carefully he puts his paintbrush down and turns toward me, the expression on his face unreadable but the black in his eyes a clear warning.

"You're going to attack _me_ now?" I ask softly.

"You know why I went for him." He says after taking a deep breath and I sigh in relief as his eyes clear.

"Actually I'm not sure I do. I know what he said. I'm just not sure why The Major took such exception to it, or even took it _seriously_."

Ah, now we're in familiar territory, Major Stonewall is in the building. But I'm not giving into his blank stare this time.

"Alright Rosalie." He sighs. "Tell me what it is you think I need to hear."

Nice try with the distraction. But no dice.

"What's the deal with Bella, why can't you leave her alone?"

"There's no deal." He shrugs. "She's beautiful and I want her. She seems to enjoy my attention so I don't see what the problem is."

"Bullshit, Major." I retort. "Your dalliances are always one shots and they're never this close to home."

We stare each other down.

"This isn't my home." He says eventually.

"Don't change the subject and don't be fucking ridiculous. We are your family and this _is_ your home, it was always meant to be, the day you finally came to your senses." I allow myself a smile. "Congratulations by the way. Now. What's the deal with Bella?"

"You're as bad as Alice and Edward." He smirks. "Why do you _need_ to know?"

"Because I'm responsible for her while she's under my roof."

"She's not a kid anymore Rose."

"And she's not a grown up either Jazz, she's not equipped to deal with your games, how is she going to feel when you get bored of her and move onto something else?"

"She doesn't have any feelings for me Rose, other than horny ones, empath remember?" He taps his forehead with his index finger.

"How long is that going to last with you charming the pants off her every five minutes?" I snap in exasperation.

In silence he picks up his paintbrush and turns back to the wall.

Argh! Men. Can't he see what he'll do to her if he keeps this up? She's not like him, despite the whole tent thing she isn't the type of girl who can divorce sex from emotions, sooner or later she'll fall for him and he'll let her down.

I don't know if I can just stand by and let that happen. I know it's all part of growing up and that she's nowhere near as easy to knock down as she was when Ed left but still, I want her to be happy, not sad.

Argh!

"You love her." Jazz's voice breaks into my thoughts.

Can't lie to an empath. "So?" I snarl aggressively.

"So, what makes you think you're the only one who cares about her?" He stops pretending to paint and turns to face me.

Oh. Um. Fuck me. Processing time is required.

"Jesus Jazz." I whisper.

"Oh get a grip Blondie. She's family now, I'm not a total douche bag."

"You're going to leave her alone?" I gasp in surprise.

"I'll be the very best big brother I can be." He says locking eyes with me. "I promise."

He might have trouble, or rather no desire, to control himself sometimes but he doesn't make promises lightly. Nevertheless I eye him suspiciously.

"For fuck's sake Rose." He huffs. "What do you want from me? My balls on a silver platter?"

I want you not to hurt my baby, I want you to be happy, I want you to have what I have. Impulsively I skip over and hug him, letting him feel what I'll never tell. Jeez, I'll be wearing pink next.

"You'd better go find the Emmy Bear." He drawls. "He's probably wearin' a groove in the ground somewhere trying to decide if you're safe or not."

Laughing I release him and dart outside heading for the forest edge where I know Em will be waiting.

Just before I slip into the trees I turn back, intending to deliver a suitably withering comment about his workmanship but the words die on my lips.

He's crouching down in the spot where I left him, head in his hands, brush streaking his hair with magnolia paint and for the briefest moment I'm pierced through with a sadness that isn't my own.


	40. Chapter 40

**Disclaimer: Stephanie Meyer owns all.**

**Rated M for several reasons.**

**Chpt 39 Family, Friends & Frenchmen**

**BPOV**

Now I have three older brothers. Two that drive me mad with their over protectiveness and teasing and one that bashes their heads together when they go too far.

Try as I might I can't really find a pigeon hole in which I could put my relationship with Jasper and I don't understand why I can't stay away from him.

I can go for days without feeling it and then I'll come home one night and see him, and really want to be with him. He can obviously sense when I get like that because he'll hold his hand out or open his arms to me and accept me easily into his side. Where I will stay until something, usually Rose, separates us.

Since I spend so much time stuck to him like a limpet we talk, it makes it less awkward somehow. I know far more about him, his human life which is fascinating, his time in Maria's army which is horrific and some of his relationship with Alice. The last of which makes a strange kind of sense to me and underlines how happy I am for both of them that they're free of it now and can move on. It's sad that he thinks he's still a monster but no matter how many times I point out the flaws in his thinking, often with a frustrated Pete chipping in, he won't see our point of view. So sometimes I also want to bludgeon him with something very heavy, it's on my newborn's to do list, hit Major Stubborn with blunt instrument and employ superior speed to run away.

We talk about me too, he's a great sounding board when I need to work out where I stand on something. Char can sometimes be a little too supportive and tends to agree with me and Rose can be a little _rigid_ in her thinking. But unless the conversation is about him then Jasper is the most balanced person I know and surprisingly well educated. From the way the others speak about him and the way he views himself you'd think his skills would be confined to helping Pete and Em in the workshop but he's a walking talking encyclopaedia with an in depth knowledge of a mind boggling array of subjects.

He's also very, very funny. Especially when he's winding up Rose. One of these days I'll probably laugh myself half to death and have to be bitten.

That's if I don't die of spontaneous sexual combustion first.

My intermittent Jasper craving is all very well but sometimes my body remembers that there's more to Jasper than a big ole security blanket. And it _wants_. Which is fine, I'm aware of the promise he made Rose and I respect it, and god knows I had plenty of abstinence practice with Edward. Problem is Jasper isn't Edward and when I want he wants and vice versa. It's a nightmare, like putting a starving person in front of a large slice of chocolate cake and forbidding them to even lick it.

And the dreams don't help, one night seems to have provided an awful lot of raw material for my increasingly lusty imagination.

Our little problem is the one thing we don't talk about, although thanks to Jasper's gift we have developed our own non-verbal early warning system and if anyone wonders why 'Bella needs coffee' is so funny that's their problem.

Summer and the last day of classes are screaming towards us like a freight train, my classmates are all as hyper as I am and even Rose and Char are being affected by the atmosphere, talking about having a party before the semester ends. I've had some invitations from friends to spend time with them over the summer, a couple of which I'm seriously considering.

We're going to visit the Cullens over the summer too. I apologised to Edward, knowing I treated him badly and while we're not exactly friends again we are talking on the phone every few weeks. My apology to Alice was much harder but Jasper was right, she sees it much more as me betraying Edward than betraying her and she's mad at me for hurting him. She's not sure if she'll be there when we visit and is considering a fashion trip to Europe instead, I can't say I blame her, whether I agree with her priorities or not I can understand why she wouldn't want to see me.

My poor bike has passed beyond even Rose's ability to keep it running and so I've withdrawn my meagre savings and bought a new one. It was a suspicious bargain but I decided not to question it, it seems silly to quibble over money with people I'm going to be spending eternity with and it's much faster than my old one. Vampires, they rub off on you.

Tonight is the first party leading up to the end of our first year and the three of us troop into the living room to show ourselves off before we leave.

Pete and Em eye their wives appreciatively for a moment and then three sets of male eyes turn their attention and disapproval on me.

"Jeez Bells." Em growls. "That's an interesting dress you're almost wearing."

"Too much?" I ask, suddenly unsure. Char said it really suited me but it's much shorter and much lower than what I'd usually go for.

"Nowhere near enough if you want my opinion." Pete mutters. "Fuckin' hell Char, couldn't you get her anythin' in those damn boutiques where they didn't run outta material halfway through?"

"Oh give it a rest." Rose huffs. "She's a young woman going to a college party not a vestal virgin on her way to be sacrificed. Like anything's going to happen to her with the two of us there. Bella you look great, doesn't she Jazz?"

"Yep." He says turning and strolling into the kitchen. "I'll go put some coffee on."

I smile like a fool, now _that's_ a confidence boost.

"We haven't got time for that now." Rose informs him, grabbing Em's truck keys. "We're picking up Bella's friend Sal on the way. Don't wait up, we've no idea when we'll be back."

Winking at me she ushers us out into the night.

Char and I both like Sal but Rose isn't a fan and it's not hard to tell why. A lot of people find Sal bitchy but to us she's a human Rose, pathologically honest, devoid of tact, viciously funny, statuesque and blonde. However, hostilities have been suspended for the night as the party is at Luke's place and Luke, on whom I've developed a massive unrequited crush, is the tall dark and handsome prize unclaimed so far this semester. All the girls are excited about the party and even Char and Rose are curious to see what happens. Tom's running a book on who gets there first. It won't be me, if I was any good at that sort of thing I'd have had Jasper stripped down to his hip hugging jeans weeks ago, and _he's_ not exactly one for playing hard to get.

Char and I have our money split between Sal and Rose, since the latter might decide to intervene and show the human wannabe how it's done. Either way it should be fun.

The party is already in full swing, Rose knows how to time an entrance, and every room is packed with people having a good time dancing to the wall vibrating music. As expected the arrival of the two reclusive supermodels causes quite a stir and Sal and I sashay along behind them trying to look like we belong. Not easy for me since I've graduated from training heels but not quite mastered the genuine article.

Predictably Sal makes the first move on Luke, who is holding court in the kitchen. He greets her with a kiss and tucks her into his side without breaking conversation. Tom pops up beside me and makes a note in the little book he's brought along especially for the occasion.

"Come on Bells." He urges, Char and Rose make him nervous. "Let's grab a drink and mingulate."

There were a couple of reasons why he and I didn't click, obviously.

An hour later we spot Luke again and Sal's place has been usurped by Caro, a California blonde from the 'in crowd'. Ah well, if he likes leggy blondes my crush is destined to remain unrequited. Shame though, he's very good looking.

Sometime later Tom and I are dancing in our own awkward little world when a body presses up against me.

"Bella Swan." Luke drawls, spinning me round effortlessly. "She who does not attend parties. I _am_ honoured."

I giggle. No femme fatale me.

He tucks my arm under his and drags me off to the kitchen and I toss an apologetic smile at Tom who is already updating his little black book.

"So Swan." He says, when he's got us both a drink and found us a space. "What has brought you down from your lofty heights to hang out with us non supermodel types?"

"They're not supermodels." I object.

"Oh yes you are." He laughs. "A house full of beautiful people. You know most of us would pay good money to live with you guys."

"Um."

He laughs again and drapes an arm over my shoulder.

"I'm almost disappointed you're wearing a dress, beautiful though it is." He drawls, trailing his fingers over my exposed collar bone. "I'm rather partial to your leather ensemble."

Uncomfortable I take a swig of my drink.

"If I ask nicely will you wear it for me on a date?"

"It's awfully hot." I hedge.

"So are you." He whispers, beer breath wafting across my face.

Oh dear. Fantasy and reality aren't gelling here. I take another slug of my drink.

His fingers quest a little lower, stroking across my sternum and threatening to plunge down my cleavage.

"Oh look." I offer by way of a distraction. "There's Sal, I must go and have a word with her."

"You can't leave me." He pouts. "Jus wee tres desolay."

I groan, thoroughly disenchanted. Cheese. I am in the presence of great cheese, and terrible French.

"Sorry, gotta go." I sing, skipping away from him and plunging into the crowd after Sal.

I catch up with her in the den.

"You too, huh?" She asks.

"Yep, he's awful." I giggle. "Such a disappointment. At this rate Tom's book is going to be tragically empty and if Luke tries that on Rose he'll be wearing his balls for earrings."

She laughs and I bet she had a few choice words for him too, I'm probably the only one that just ran away.

"Let's not give up hope." She decides. "There are some seriously hot guys out on the deck, I think it's time for us to get some air."

Happy to be away from Luke I follow her outside and spend the next hour or so entertaining her good natured rejects while they ply me with drink and Sal assesses her options. I'm going to be completely wasted by the end of the night but as Charlie's not going to catch me I might as well enjoy it.

Reject number three, Cai, is actually quite nice and I end up spending most of the night talking to him. Sal seems to have made her choice and Rose and Char drift past from time to time trailing guys in their wake like a comet tail. Tom's disappeared, probably following Luke around with his little black book.

Eventually Cai asks me to dance and the two of us sway somewhat drunkenly to an entirely inappropriate tune, gradually drifting together until our bodies are touching, his warms hands resting on my hips, mine on his broad shoulders. It's nice and there is a sense of anticipation building for the moment when his lips meet mine.

When it finally happens his lips are firm and pleasantly commanding, tasting a little of beer but not unpleasantly so, in a way his smell reminds me of Charlie. We sway and kiss lazily for what seems like forever, occasionally being jostled by the ebb and flow of the crowd but quite content in our own little bubble.

"Let's get another drink." He suggests after a while and when I nod he takes me by the hand and leads me into the kitchen.

Drinks in hand we set off in search of somewhere to sit, laughing when the only place we can find is a couch space for one which means I end up sitting sideways on his lap.

"How's the wine?" He asks as I sip it.

"Warm and overly fruity." I grimace.

"A connoisseur?" He chuckles. "I should've known."

With a shrug I set it down on the floor. Its nasty and I've had too much to drink already.

Unfortunately this leaves me sat on his lap with nothing to do with my hands. Impulsively I reach up and run my fingers through the ends of his long blonde hair, not quite silk but very soft.

Silently he puts his beer down and leans in for another kiss, big hands cupping my face. Oh, warm tingly sensations, this is more like it.

I adjust my position so I can twist my fingers in his hair, reminding myself to be gentle, and before long we're locked in a passionate embrace, kissing each other frantically, tongues battling, hands roaming, he's so soft and warm compared to what I'm used to that I can't resist the opportunity to explore. Inside I'm almost laughing, a couple of months to go until I'm twenty and I'm finally getting to behave like a naughty teenager.

Its only when we both come up for air that I realise just how drunk I am, the room is spinning slightly, my vision is blurred and I seem to have lost the power of recognisable speech.

Oh well, can't let a good kiss go to waste.

We're just getting going again when a hard hand taps me on the shoulder.

"Bella."

The tap turns into a shake.

"Bella!"

Cai nuzzles my neck as I look up blearily into Rose's amused eyes.

"Rose! This is Cai. Cai, Rose."

"Hey Rose."

"Hi. Bella we've got to go."

"What, why?" I blink up at her stupidly.

"We've got a visitor waiting for us at home."

"S K, I'll get, um." Giggle, what's that stupid word? "Cab. I'll get a cab later."

"Oh no you won't, the guys will skin me alive. Drop the boy and let's go."

Grumbling I try getting to my feet but it's not that easy, movement makes the alcohol circulate faster, Cai tries to help but he's as smashed as I am.

Still amused Rose takes over and hauls me upright, adjusting my rucked up dress at the same time.

"I'll see you in class Monday." Cai promises, waving me off and collapsing back down on the couch.

Rose starts leading me away.

"Don't want to go, want stay with Cai." I huff, trying to pull away.

"Why am I not surprised?" She drawls.

"Surprised 'bout what?" I slur, reversing myself and leaning on her heavily.

"Your guy looks like J honey." Char laughs, propping me up from the other side.

"Doesn't." I object. "S'not cotton."

"Cotton, snot?" Rose asks over my head. "What's she on about?"

"She soused." Char giggles. "This should be good."

"Please tell me Pete didn't do this on purpose." Rose growls as she manhandles me into the truck.

Char just laughs. And I close my eyes. God bless narcolepsy and all who sail in her . . . .

"Wake up Bells." Char's voice coaxes me gently from my slumber. "We're home and you're going to have get indoors under your own steam unless you want Rose and I to cop it for letting you get drunk."

"Okay." I mutter, opening my eyes and focussing them carefully.

Inventory. Head, pleasantly weightless rather than spinning crazily. Stomach, behaving. Legs, able to support weight. Speech. Speech? Oh right, I need to say something.

"I'm 'kay. Not that drunk." Speech clear, ish, if presented slowly and with minimal words.

Char helps me down to the ground. Legs, supporting weight, able to move with counter balance. Instinctively I grab Char's hand and she leads the way inside.

"Orly!" She squeals letting go of me and flying across the room into the arms of a strange vampire.

Rose steps up to fill the gap before I keel over.

"Ah, ma belle Charlotte. Comment ca va?" He asks, lifting her up and swinging her around.

"All the better for seeing you." She laughs. "Why didn't you tell us you were coming to visit?"

"A last minute decision." He replies in heavily accented English.

"This is Rose and Bella." Pete steps forward and indicates the two of us hovering in the doorway.

"Rose." Orly says warmly putting Char down and crossing the room on two long strides. "Très jolie, just as Peter described. Monsieur Emmett is a very lucky man."

With a flourish he takes her hand and gallantly places a kiss on the back of it. She's speechless and if she could blush I'm sure she'd be redder than me.

Then he turns to me.

He's as tall and broad as Em, but leaner like Jasper. His eyes are a deep dark red and they glow with life in the perfectly sculpted planes of his face, which is framed by glossy shoulder length, raven black hair. His clothes are effortlessly stylish and they adorn his body like privileged acolytes.

"Mademoiselle Bella, _enchant__é_." He murmurs taking my hand and kissing it for a little longer than is strictly necessary.

Straightening up he grins at us, flashing his perfect white teeth and looking for all the world like a pirate who should have a cutlass clamped between them.

"Orly you French casanova, stop dazzlin' the ladies an' come back here, you haven't finished tellin' me all the gossip." Pete interrupts.

The French casanova turns with fluid grace and glides back to the couch. The rear view isn't bad either.

"Holy shit." Rose and I murmur together.


	41. Chapter 41

**Disclaimer: Stephanie Meyer owns all.**

**Rated M for several reasons.**

**Chpt 40 Dinner and Dancing**

**BPOV**

Em bears down on us, well, like an angry bear and on any other occasion I would have kept my reaction to myself but three sheets to the wind there's really no holding it.

I laugh, the jealous expression on his face is priceless. The only problem is, once I start I can't stop.

Released by Rose who is now clutched in Em's grip I double over swaying alarmingly as tears stream down my face. Ow, it really hurts.

"Fuck Rose." Jasper says calmly. "How much did you let her drink?"

"I'm not her jailer Jazz, I don't know how much she had but it was certainly enough to have a _good_ time."

"Come on." He says, lifting me easily and settling me against his chest. "Time for bed. Say goodnight to the nice vampires."

"Night vampires." I choke out between strangled sobs of laughter. Em's face, so funny.

"Jazz . . . ." Rose's voice is tentative.

"Fuck's sake Rose, _what_?" He sounds angry.

"Nothing, sorry. Night Bella."

I wave at everyone over Jasper's shoulder as he carries me upstairs and sets me carefully down on my feet at the end of the bed.

My laughter subsides slowly but my balance is still screwy and I fall forwards against him.

"Jesus." He mutters, gently attempting to keep me upright.

"My hero." I giggle.

"You're drunk." He observes. He's so clever, nothing escapes his eagle eye.

I stumble a bit and he slips his arms around me.

"We're dancing." I decide, even though there's no music.

"No." He chuckles. "You're fallin' over an' I'm holdin' you up. There's a difference."

I poke my tongue out at him.

"That's not very attractive."

"Dance with me." I demand.

"I didn't think you liked dancing."

"I want to dance with you."

He tightens his arms around me and starts swaying us gently as he softly hums a tune I don't recognise.

My head slips down to rest against his chest.

"I'm drunk." I admit.

"No shit Sherlock." He laughs.

We sway together for a while and slowly my head comes up so I can look at him.

He's looking down at me with that expression I can't decipher, his eyes a dark gold.

"Kiss me?" I ask hesitantly as a wave of want overtakes me.

"I don't take advantage of drunk women." He whispers, trailing the fingers of one hand up and down my neck.

"I'm not that drunk."

"Drunk enough." He says, pressing his lips gently against mine and curling his long fingers into my hair.

"I want you." I moan.

"I know." He murmurs, nibbling at my lips. "I can feel it an' you're killin' me."

"I'm sorry." I whisper. Not sure what for but somehow knowing it needs to be said.

"Not your fault Bella." He says quietly, tucking my head under his chin but keeping us swaying to the imaginary music. "We should get you into bed."

Silently he sits me down and removes my ankle endangering shoes. Then he reaches round behind me and unzips my dress, wiggling it down to my waist. Tottering I stand and he slides it down my body, letting it pool at my feet.

I start swaying again and he lifts me gently, pulling back the covers and slotting me in.

He tucks the blanket around me and presses a gentle kiss on my forehead before turning to leave

"Please don't go." I whisper.

He stops but doesn't turn.

"_Please_."

"You're killin' me." He says again.

"I don't understand."

"Not your fault either." He murmurs and for a moment I think he's going to leave but he comes back and settles himself on the bed, wrapping his arms around me from behind.

Alcohol is a depressant. Suddenly and unaccountably miserable silent tears slip down my cheeks as I drift off to sleep in his embrace.

…..

The daylight sears my dried out eyeballs.

Carefully I roll over and check the clock, lunchtime.

My mouth feels like the inside of a shepherd's sandal and my head in pounding in time with my mercifully strong heartbeat.

Not dying, but maybe wishing I could.

I can't remember much after Cai and I sucked face. Just that I was plastered, there's a new vampire here and Jasper danced with me and made me sad.

Too weird for a hangover. Back to sleep.

When I wake up again Rose is hovering over me.

"Shit." I gasp, wriggling away far too rapidly for my delicate condition.

"Nice." She drawls. "You should drink more often. It does wonders for your communication skills."

"Can't I have a hangover in peace?" I groan.

"No." She says crisply, ripping the covers back. "Get your smelly human ass in the shower and meet me downstairs."

"Why?"

"Because everyone else is out and I think we should talk."

"What?"

"Just get up. Before I change my mind."

"You need to get off me first." I point out.

"Fine. I'll get you some coffee." She says getting to her feet.

I struggle upright and close my eyes against a wave of nausea.

"Why's it only funny when you or Jazz say it?" She huffs.

I glare at her.

"Whatever. Shower, then we'll talk."

An hour later, it's a major hangover, I finally stagger downstairs.

Rose hands me a cup of coffee looking uncharacteristically pensive.

"Okay, spill." I grouch, slumping into an armchair.

"I'm not sure I should."

I sigh. I'm in pain. I'm not really equipped to deal with this at the moment.

"Bella, I . . . ."

I sip my coffee, burning my tongue.

"Oh fuck it. Bella, what's going on with you and Jazz?"

"Nothing." I answer honestly. "He's honouring his promise. I still fancy him. We're good."

"Bella, I think . . . ."

"Afternoon ladies." Pete announces, bouncing through the french windows with Orly and Char in tow. "Que pasa?"

Rose growls and I smile uncertainly. Last night I was drunk. Right now Rose is weirding me out. And my head hurts.

"We're nursing Bella's hangover." Rose informs him.

"Cool." Pete chuckles, launching himself onto the couch. "I remember those. Did you make her a Bloody Mary?"

Rose shakes her head.

"Allow me." Orly offers. "I am an expert, or rather, I was."

Blurring in a way that makes my nausea spike he disappears into the kitchen.

Within moments he's back, kneeling before me and proffering a red drink.

"You did not 'ave all the right ingredients but this should work I think."

What an accent.

Nervously I let him exchange my coffee for the tall cold glass.

"Drink Mademoiselle. It will 'elp I promise."

"It's okay Bella." Char confirms. "A Bloody Mary is the hangover cure of champions."

I take a sip. Tomato. At first.

"It's got vodka in it." I protest.

"Exactly Mademoiselle, hair of the chien."

"?"

He laughs gently.

"Hair of the dog that bit you. As in a little alcohol will counteract what you are suffering now."

He's far too good looking for a hungover human, he hurts my eyes.

"You must think I'm terrible." I mutter, sipping cautiously at the concoction.

"Not at all." He smiles, sitting back on his haunches. "I am très jaloux. Wine is a wonderful thing that I cannot enjoy any longer."

"I'm sorry I was so drunk last night."

"Pah." He waves his fingers airily. "You were a most charming _drunk_ as you call it."

I concentrate on sipping my drink and texting Sal as the conversation ebbs and flows around me. She had a good night and already has a date arranged for next week. Hmm, will Cai ask me out on a date or will we be doomed to avoid each other on campus for the next couple of years. I don't really mind either way, it would be nice though, to go out with someone who wants to see me again, for me.

I shift in my seat, an uncomfortable and needy feeling stealing over me.

Two minutes later Em and Jasper arrive and I can tell by their color that they've been hunting.

Jasper heads straight up into the shower and Em drops a kiss on Rose's hair before doing the same.

Still feeling like death warmed over I let my head fall back against the plump cushions and close my eyes. The sound of their voices talking around me lulls me towards the edge of sleep. They're planning a trip into New York and I've no interest, I've already told Rose I want to wait until Charlie comes for his visit so we can go for the first time together. I doze fitfully finally identifying my discomfort as a Jasper craving.

Fresh cotton draws my eyes open and I find him hovering over me uncertainly, an unhappy look on his face.

Wordlessly I open my arms and he scoops me up, setting my Bloody Mary down and settling into the chair with me snuggled in his lap. With a sigh I rest my forehead against his cool neck, the uncomfortable needy feeling gone and instantly I fall asleep properly.

My dream is just plain odd. Although it's one of those something dangerous is stalking me type dreams, I feel oddly secure in the maelstrom of emotions swirling around me in bright colors. They're almost tangible, with weight and vague shapes and they swoop down on me like giant birds, never hurting me but buffeting me with their passage as I run away from the stalker. Love, sadness, jealousy, comfort, annoyance, resignation, desire, regret and eventually I stumble to the invisible ground desperately trying to fend them off. Two strong arms lift me out of the tumult and I wake with a start to find Jasper carrying me upstairs.

"What are you doing?" I ask sleepily, dream receding rapidly.

"Puttin' you to bed." He chuckles. "You might as well sleep it off in comfort."

"Sorry."

"Drinkin' too much is part of growin' up. You'll learn. Anyway you have somethin' to look forward to tonight, Char wants Orly to teach her how to cook some new dishes so they've gone shoppin'. Dinner will apparently be très magnifique."

"Wow, that some French accent you've got there."

"I'm a man of many talents." He drawls, depositing me on the bed.

"I'm not hungry." My sleep has done me the world of good but stomach is still sulking over the way I treated it last night.

"You will be by the time you wake up." He laughs as I scramble under the covers. "Later little narcoleptic."

"Thanks for looking after me."

"De nada."

I watch him stride out of the room and then snuggle down deep. What a waste of a day, I may never drink again.

…..

"Shit!" I scream, waking up suddenly as Pete's cold nose touches mine.

"I'm many things little one." He chuckles. "But _shit_ is not one of them. Rose's is right, you're quite nasty when you wake up."

"Anybody would be if they're alarm clock was a stupid vampire with personal space issues." I grumble, attempting to slither away from him because he clearly isn't going to move.

Finally he does get up, sitting down on the bed like a mischievous Buddha.

"Why are you wearing a tux?"

"We're havin' a dinner party. Char an' Orly are cookin' up a storm so we've decided to get dressed up an' play pretend. How's the hangover?"

I conduct a quick mental reccie.

"Better."

"Hungry?"

Another quick check.

"Yes."

"Excellent, get washed an' dressed darlin' an' we'll see you downstairs in a bit. I recommend wearin' somethin' dark red."

"What are you up to?" I ask, suddenly suspicious, a happy Pete usually means an unhappy someone else.

"I'm puttin' my spoon in someone's cauldron Bells." He says cryptically.

"Huh."

"Stirrin' little sister, stirrin'."

Oh dear god, it's like living in the twilight zone. Fine.

"Whatever. I'll get dressed up."

"Excellent." Jeez look at the smile on his face, all he needs is a fluffy white cat to stroke.

"You can go then, I can do it without your help." I huff.

"Apparently not." He drawls getting to his feet and slinking out the door.

An hour later I descend the stairs in my one and only dark red dress.

My supermodels and Orly are ranged around the living room and all stop talking to watch my entrance.

Char and Orly are standing, holding wine glasses which they've been sniffing at appreciatively. She has a beautiful but understated royal blue cocktail dress on with her pale blonde hair swept up on her head and he's wearing a classic tux that screams expensive tailoring and shows off his assets to perfection. Em's sitting on the couch with Rose, his tux makes him look huge and somehow suggests he's wearing a gun in a shoulder holster. Rose also has her hair up but in a more sophisticated style and is wearing a black strapless number which shows off her long legs and graceful neck and shoulders.

And in the corner Jasper is sat in the armchair one long leg casually draped over the arm. Like the others he's wearing a bow tie but his is undone, hanging down his shirt and exposing his throat.

His eyes travel lazily down my body and then back up again. The ghost smile sneaks onto his face. I'm wearing his dress. Lust pings between us and he laughs quietly as I almost stumble down the last step.

I glance around quickly. Pete is smirking and Rose is scowling.

Then the spell is broken and everyone surges into life.

My vow to give up drinking is short lived. Char and Orly have picked out a wine for each dish although I'm only allowed a little sip of each so as not to spoil the experience.

A year ago I would have found sitting at the dining table while everyone watches me eat and begs for descriptions of the tastes an unbearable torture but tonight it's fun.

Nobody else is eating but almost everyone is sniffing the dishes and the wine and trying to get into the spirit of the thing. But of course what smells heavenly to me is like to dirt to them so their faces are priceless, although they all seem to be getting something out the wine with instruction from Char and Orly.

Em, who can't resist a challenge, has tried licking a couple of the dishes but in the end Rose made him stop, his retching noises were putting me off.

After dinner Pete insists on dancing and music floods the house as the furniture is carried out of the way at vampire speed.

He and Em take it in turns to teach me to waltz while the others twirl effortlessly around us, changing partners from time to time. I'd like to have watched them but Pete and Em are hard task masters and dancing is not a natural thing for me so I'm forced to concentrate.

"There." Pete declares finally. "You'll do."

Orly appears beside me bowing deeply.

"Bella, may I have the first dance?"

I giggle as he takes my hand and arranges us in the correct pose before leading off gently.

"So Bella." He asks as we float gracefully around the room. "Are you looking forward to becoming a vampire?"

"Yes and no." I admit. "I'm not looking forward to the change but the rest, yes, this is where I belong."

"Quite so, your family love you very much and I think for you, the change will be worth it. You will make a wonderful vampire."

"Thanks." I blush.

"Ah, it will be a shame to lose such an attractive blush though. Très jolie."

Another giggle, apparently I don't have a femme fatale bone in my body. Orly doesn't seem to mind, he smiles at me and sweeps us into a series of complicated moves that I just about manage to keep up with. It's wonderful to dance with an expert and I get completely caught up in the magic, feeling uncharacteristically princess like as he whirls and dips me effortlessly. At one point a foreign sensation flicks through me and I almost lose my footing but Orly holds me tighter and the magic is restored.

Eventually he deposits me laughing and breathless on the couch.

"Champagne." He decides, darting into the kitchen and returning with a tall fluted glass. "This is very fine, entirely suitable for such a beautiful woman."

I take it and sip it cautiously. It's dry but very tasty, little bubbles of flavour dancing on my tongue. I make a little involuntary noise of appreciation in my throat and Orly smiles, seeming satisfied.

"Tango!" Pete announces. "Let's move on to the tango."

He starts fiddling with the sound system until a very different type of music comes out.

"J, you an' Char are the best, show Bells how to do the Argentine Tango."

Laughing the two of them abandon their waltzing partners and meet in the centre of the room, staring at each other intently, getting into the spirit of the dance.

"You'd better not rip my dress." She growls as he takes her abruptly into his arms.

"I make no promises." He snarls as Pete cranks up the music.

The moves are complicated and sinfully erotic. Beside me Orly chuckles quietly at my reaction. Staring deeply into each other's eyes they dip and twine their bodies chest to chest, legs duelling between each other's in abrupt yet sensual movements. As he moves her around his big hands glide over her body, shaping and moulding her reactions to his lead.

I swallow a gulp of champagne as I watch. Not the dance. Jasper. His body moves like a panther, lithe and controlled, the look on his face threatening to burn away Char's clothes in the blink of an eye. His mastery is total, everything he wants she does.

My stomach turns over slowly and I _want_, in a really bad way.

The music rises to a crescendo and spinning her like a feather he arches her impossibly across his knee and drops his lips dramatically to her exposed throat. The music ends.

Holy. Fucking. Shit.

Without breaking character Jasper sweeps her up into his arms, dropping a kiss on her laughing mouth and hands her off to Pete, stalking toward me with dark gold eyes boring into mine, hand extended.

"Would you like to learn the tango?" He asks, ghost smile on his lips again.


	42. Chapter 42

**Disclaimer: Stephanie Meyer owns all.**

**Rated M for several reasons. **

**Chpt 41 While You Were Sleeping**

**BPOV**

The moment our hands touch the rest of the room, world, ceases to exist.

He draws me easily to my feet taking me into his arms as the music starts up again and adjusting my frame so our chests are pushed together.

"You have to feel the music." He murmurs. "You have to let yourself feel _me_."

Without warning he dips me back, one hand moving purposefully from my shoulder, over my breast all the way down to the top of my thigh and then up again, but so much more slowly. My body arcs into it automatically.

"_Good_." He growls quietly, snapping me to him so our lips are almost touching.

Hands splayed on my back he moves me effortlessly so his thigh is between mine and I arch back from the unexpected contact. Expertly he twists me in his arms so that my thigh is now between his, drawing my other leg out straight and running his hand up it from calf to thigh before jerking it up and wrapping it around his hip.

Again we are eye to eye, lip to lip. And I can feel him. Every nook and cranny of his body pressed tightly against mine, our clothes are no hindrance whatsoever. Holy shit, no wonder the Puritans banned dancing, I bet Rose is having a conniption.

He dips me back, running his hand over me again and I moan wantonly.

"Let go." He whispers into my ear. "Follow your instincts."

I'm not sure my current instincts have feck all to do with the tango but my leg snaps straight regardless bringing me up into his chest and pushing him backwards. His hands drop down to my hips, pulling me into him as our upper bodies fall apart.

"_Jesus_." He groans, rearing up and pressing his cool lips to my breast bone before spinning me around and doing the same to the hot skin between my shoulder blades. Formless shapes of _desire_ and _rightness _flutter against me.

"Fucking hell." Somebody gasps as in an echo of his dance with Char he turns me back, draping me over his knee and dropping his lips to my exposed throat.

"_Mine_."

"_Yours_." I promise, surprising myself.

Suddenly the room erupts and without any idea what happened I find myself clutched in Rose's arms by the front door while everyone else seems to be sitting on a furiously snarling Jasper.

"What's happening?" I gasp, struggling futilely to get out of Rose's grip. Giant ethereal shapes are swooping down on me, pain, rage and fear. I shake my head trying to clear it.

"He was going to bite you." She hisses.

"What? No he wasn't." Fear and desperation batter at me as I thrash uselessly.

"Pete got to you just in time."

"He wasn't!" I protest, fighting both against her and the onslaught of emotions assailing me. "He's not thirsty."

She snorts.

"He's not thirsty!" I scream, kicking at her shins, oblivious to the pain. "Not thirsty, I can feel him, he's not thirsty, he's desperate. Let him up, you're hurting him!"

"Bella, you'll injure yourself." Rose pleads.

"I don't care! Let him up, let him up, let him up!"

Panic is getting me nowhere and I force myself to calm down, one agonisingly slow breath at a time, pushing the feeling of desperation away like a physical mass.

"Rose. You can't smother him like that, it's freaking him out, the flashbacks, you're hurting him. _Please_ make them let him go."

"What are you on about?" She demands, looking down at me for the first time.

"He's been held down like this before, its freaking him out. Stop it! Let him up!"

Oh fuck, this is taking too long.

"Jasper! Jasper!"

The heaving mass on the other side of the room stills slightly.

"Jasper, stop fighting them. They're not going to hurt you. Jasper, _please_, you're killing _me_. I can feel it all, _please_, you have to calm down."

"He's not projecting." Rose mutters as the struggle calms even more.

"Let him up." I sob. It's too much, I can't stand it. My panic, his desperation. "Rose make them let him up. I don't care if he hurts me, let him up. _Jasper, plu - eese_."

Helpless and hopeless I sag against Rose's hard body. I can't fight them, I can't help him and I can't make them understand me.

"_Jasper_." I moan in defeat.

With a roar of rage that shakes the windows Jasper surges to his feet, brushing off family members and Orly like flies. His clothes are torn but I can't see any injuries on him as his pitch black eyes swing to Rose and I.

"Shit!" She curses.

The others scramble to their feet and Jasper roars again, the terrifying monster.

"Leave Him!" Pete yells in warning, shaking bits of coffee table out of his hair.

"Let me go." I whisper.

"Are you fucking crazy?" She gasps as Jasper takes a step towards us.

I close my eyes as protectiveness, anger and fear bat against me.

"Yes, now let me go before he does something he'll never recover from." My voice is surprisingly steady.

"Bella?"

"_Trust_ me." I plead.

"Fuck." She moans.

"Let me go. He won't hurt me."

"_Bella_."

"Let me go Rose, _please_."

"I _can't_." She whimpers. "If he hurts you I'll never forgive myself!"

"He won't."

With a sob she releases me and I scramble towards him as if my life depends on it, sobbing in relief as he scoops me up and holds me close, murmuring into my hair at vampire speed.

"Are you alright?" I choke out, peppering his hard skin with kisses as I clamber up him like a monkey until I'm completely wrapped around him, my arms in a death grip around his neck.

He nods and a wave of relief crashes over me.

"Alright." Pete half laughs. "Everybody's calm, we're all good here. Now perhaps someone can explain to me what the fuck that was all about?"

Jasper and I both growl together.

"O-kay." Pete chuckles. "We'll wait."

Jasper growls again.

"We'll wait way over there in the kitchen." Pete's voice recedes and presumably the others have departed with him.

As my breathing calms I become aware of the silence around us and the ticking of Char's old grandfather clock which once again seems to have escaped the carnage.

Tick-tock, tick-tock, tick-tock.

The amorphous shapes are back, pressing against me, comfort, love, peace, sorrow. But they don't scare me now I know what they are. It's Jasper, not influencing me, they're his emotions, drawn to me like moths to a flame.

"What are you sorry for?" I whisper into his neck.

"I was goin' to bite you." He responds as if me knowing his feelings were the most natural thing in the world.

"You aren't thirsty."

"No."

"Then why?"

He sighs heavily.

"Why?" I press gently.

"I wanted to mark you."

"I don't understand." He's not talking about a love bite surely?

A long pause.

"Vampires mark their mates, it's instinctual."

Oh now, _what_?

"Vampires and humans don't mate." Rose's voice cuts through my cartwheeling thoughts.

Jasper snarls viciously.

"Oh shush." I scold him without thinking.

There's a tense moment of silence.

"Yes ma'am." He drawls finally and I laugh, a short mirthless laugh.

"Is it safe to come back in now?" Char asks.

"No!" Jasper and I snap together.

"Mate?"

"I don't know." He sighs. "Rose's right, it's not possible, but I _really _want to claim you."

As confusing and frankly scary as all this is my body clearly likes the idea of being _claimed _by Jasper and I shiver.

"The tango is obviously powerful stuff." He laughs bitterly. "I wanted you so much it was all I could do not to throw you down an' rip your clothes off. When you said you were _mine_ . . . ."

A tremor runs through his body and he takes a deep breath, burying his face in my hair.

"It's primeval, the urge to bite you, to claim you in front of the others. I would have done it too, if Pete hadn't stopped me. I still want to."

Another shiver runs through me.

"I'm so sorry." He whispers and I snuggle against him, as close as I can get.

"Would that have been so bad?" I ask somewhat stupidly.

"I'm pretty sure it would hurt like a bitch." He laughs dryly. "An' it would ruin your summer. You'd start to change."

Oh. Of course. Venom coated teeth.

"What happens now?"

"I really need to put you down." He groans, making no move to do so.

Instinctively I tighten my grip even more and then relax, realising that I'm probably not helping.

Reluctantly he lowers me to the floor and moves me away to arms length, keeping hold of my hands. His eyes are warm gold again, his expression almost pained, sadness and regret beating their wings at me.

"You're leaving aren't you?" I whisper, horrified at how much the idea hurts.

"I have to, I'm not safe to be around you like this."

"But . . . ." My mouth is protesting automatically while my brain tries to come up with something effective. "I don't want you to . . . . Maybe you just need a few more minutes to calm down, I'll go and sit in the kitchen, or out for a drive . . . . or you could hunt."

I don't know at what point I got it into my head that a good hunt cures all a vampire's ills but it's worth throwing that one in there too. However the look on his face is not encouraging, twisted and perfectly mirroring the anguish I'm feeling.

"Bella." He says quietly. "The urge isn't diminishin', now I know you're safe it's gettin' worse again an' I'm not sure its somethin' I can switch off."

As if supporting his words the others start drifting back into the room and I look around at them for a sign that someone's going to accuse him of talking rubbish and tell him to get a grip on himself. But they all look deadly serious and regretful.

"Jasper . . . ." Words fail me.

"I really need to go." He says, dropping my hands and taking a step back.

"_Please_ . . . ."

"It'll be okay." He smiles encouragingly, which is stupid because his feelings are almost exactly mirroring mine and he's telling lies with that smile. "Charge your cell, I'll call you later."

I nod dumbly and in the blink of an eye he's gone.

Miserably I turn toward Rose who is hovering beside me.

"Bella, are you okay? I'm sorry, I didn't realise, Bella? Bella?"

Her face and my vision recede to a fine point of light swathed in blackness. Thank _god_, I'm finally going to faint.

Gratefully I let myself go.

…..

Slowly I come back to myself, realising that I'm laid out on the couch with my head in Rose's lap, her fingers combing idly through my hair.

"Peter." Orly is speaking. "I commend your plan to make him jaloux, but really, mon ami, if they are truly mates all you have done is prime la bombe."

"Humans and vampires can't mate, it's impossible." Rose huffs.

"Babe." Em's voice is gentle. "I don't think it matters whether it's supposed to be possible or not. I'm with Orly. They're mates."

"But . . . ."

"Babe. Leaving aside anything else. They can't stay away from each other, they're only really content when they're together. She can feel his emotions, even when he's not projecting. The chemistry between them is incredible, that tango, jeez babe, Orly wasn't the only one who nearly came in his pants."

Rose snarls, jostling me slightly.

"And Bella was right. He wasn't thirsty, he was going to bite her, claim her. If it had been bloodlust he'd have drained her when he got away from us." Em's voice is steady and sure.

"So what happens now?" Char asks.

"I dunno sugar." Pete sighs. "I remember what it was like for us, once it was there, there weren't no stoppin' it."

He laughs and she giggles.

"But Bella, she is a human, yes?" Orly says. "Perhaps it will fade, over time?"

Silence.

"And if it doesn't?"

"Then he can't come back here."

"This is his home!" Rosalie objects.

"Blondie, fuck, what if he bites her?"

"Don't tell me that Pete! This all your fucking fault!"

"Babe." Em chides gently.

"Don't babe me Em." She snarls. "You fucked up Peter Perfect. You hurt my baby and you screwed over my brother! Why couldn't you just leave shit alone to work itself out?"

"I just wanted them both to be as happy as we are." He says, so quietly I hardly hear him.

"Does anybody look happy right now, shithead?"

"Rose!" Em's voice is hard.

"Sorry." She mutters. "Sorry Pete. Jeez, what a fucking mess."

"I had better go." Orly murmurs and I hear furniture creak.

"Oh sit down frenchie." Rose sighs. "None of this is your fault."

He laughs and the couch creaks again.

"Indeed. I have received The Major's message loud and clear, but I think perhaps, the little one has not, no?"

"She has no idea." Rose sighs. "I was trying to find a way to tell her. This whole mate thing, if it's true, how is she going to deal with that? If he'd just told her first . . . ."

"She does not?"

Rose sighs again before answering. "Sometimes, I think yes, and then at others? I don't know. But now, if they're mates? Who can tell?"

"Isn't it the same thing?" Char asks.

"I don't know." Rose whispers, stroking my hair. "She's human, who knows how she'll take it? She doesn't like to be forced into anything . . . ."

"What about Jasper?"

"I don't know. I'll speak to Carlisle, there must be a way to help him. Poor bastard . . . ."

"He's not good on his own." Pete observes, sounding thoroughly cowed.

"He's not on his own." Rose states with resolve. "He might not be able to come home until we figure this shit out but we're still his family. We'll find a way to help him. Both of them."


	43. Chapter 43

**Disclaimer: Stephanie Meyer owns all.**

**Rated M for several reasons. **

**Chpt 42 Date With Destiny**

**BPOV**

They drone on for a while, speculating about what might be going on, while I vacillate between the need to sleep and the need to speak to Jasper.

Eventually I give up and with a sigh I sit up and get to my feet.

"Are you alright?" Rose asks, studying me carefully.

I shrug, I genuinely don't know how to answer that and I'm not entirely sure I want to talk to her at the moment anyway, clearly there's been a lot going on recently that she and the others haven't seen fit to share with the human.

"I'm sorry." She says quietly.

I can see it in her eyes, I know she is.

I smile and lean down to place a kiss on her cheek. If she's surprised she doesn't show it.

"I'm going to bed. Goodnight everyone."

"Do you want some company?" She asks.

"No." I shake my head. "I just want to be on my own for a bit."

She nods and with a weak smile for the others I trudge upstairs getting faster as I near my room.

I snatch my cell off the nightstand, plugging it into the wall as instructed and then curl up on the bed with it.

'_Where are you?'_

No response.

'_Are you alright?'_

Nothing.

'_Please just need to know you are okay'_

'_Sorry, was buying gas.'_

Oh the relief.

'_I'm fine. Are you okay?'_

Difficult question. Am I? One minute I was learning the tango and loving every minute of being in Jasper's arms, perfectly content, the next I felt like my soul was being ripped out of my body. And to cap it all off I find out I might actually be mated, which as far as I know is permanent thing, to a vampire with whom I have a strange relationship at best and who has just recently started to become my friend / brother having previously only been interested in the contents of my underwear.

No. On balance I am not _okay_.

'_Yes'_ I text back after a moment.

'_Liar'_

I snort, how well he knows me. Might as well be honest.

'_Am freaking out'_

'_Sorry. Give me hour or so to get settled in a hotel then can talk'_

'_Ok'_

'_Have narcoleptic moment, will text you later'_

With a slight smile on my face now I potter around, taking my makeup off, getting into my pjs and finally curling up in the bed with my cell clutched in my hand.

The ringing wakes me some time later.

"Jasper . . . ."

"Bella? It's Edward."

"Oh, er, hi."

"Are you alright? Rose is talking to Carlisle."

"Yes. I'm fine."

"She said Jasper tried to drain you again . . . ."

Rose, I'll kill you! "No. He didn't try to drain me."

"Then what happened?" He asks, then pauses. "Oh."

Yeah, oh.

"I take it you're not actually part of this conversation and are dipping into Carlisle's head?" I drawl.

"Um."

"Edward." I sigh. "I realise I'm only a child compared to you but you really need to learn to get the full story before you go off half cocked."

Silence.

"Sorry." He says eventually. "So are you okay?"

I shrug and then realise that he can't see me.

"Yes and no."

"Carlisle doesn't think it's possible." He reports. "He's running through other reasons for Jasper wanting to bite you. The only one he can come up with is thirst."

"He wasn't thirsty." I mutter tiredly.

"Rose says no too. She's telling Carlisle . . . ." Another pause. "She thinks you _are_ mates. Oh Bella, I'm so sorry."

"What for?" I sigh.

"If you are mates. He's such a profligate waster, you deserve so much better."

A prickle shoots up my spine and snaps my mouth open.

"He is _not_ a waster!"

"Sorry." Edward mutters.

"And if it's true it's ten times worse for him." I growl. "He's only just sorted things out with Alice and now he might be stuck with me, how do you think_ he_ feels?"

"I hadn't thought of that." He mumbles.

I sigh again. It's nice for Edward to finally accept that I'm not an idiot but to do it so easily over how Jasper feels about me is frankly a bit depressing. Not that he's wrong. Another gusty sigh escapes me, along with a strong desire to say 'fuck it' to everything and join a nunnery in darkest South America.

"Carlisle's gone to his study to check his books." Edward informs me.

"At least he's getting a good research opportunity out of all this drama." I huff.

"You sound just like Rose." He snickers.

I laugh. He's right, that was a very Rosalie response.

"Is it alright if I call tomorrow to make sure you're okay?" He asks.

"Sure, I'd like that."

"Okay. Try to get some sleep."

"I will." I promise.

I can almost imagine his serious nod as he ends the call.

Then I check for text messages.

'_At hotel now'_

'_Call me?'_

'_Can't, only got data cell with me'_

I can't help but laugh. Jasper has ten cells, each one a master of one function or other and he refuses to use them for anything else, forget OCD when it comes to technology he's OCV.

'_Will exceed my package with text'_ I reply.

'_Chat on laptop?'_

Instantly I fly off the bed, powering up mine, it has no webcam on it, Char thought it was essential but it pushed the whole thing over my budget. Now I'm extra glad because Jasper won't be able to see me in my snugglies.

'_Here'_ I type when I'm ready.

'_Why are you freaking out?'_

I stare miserably at the screen, trying to think of the best way to answer.

'_?'_

'_Its hard to explain, there's so much, and I don't know how to put it . . . .'_

'_It doesn't matter, we're in this together, say whatever you need to . . . .'_

'_What I know about vampire mating would fit on the back of a postage stamp'_

'_Not all vampires find their mate. Rose and Em, Carlisle and Esme, Pete and Char. They're very lucky.'_

Now there, is exactly my problem, they are lucky. They're mates and they love each other.

'_I don't know how it happens, whether its visual, chemical or like soul mates'_

'_Do all mates love each other, are they always couples?'_

'_Yes'_

But we're not. Dangerous ground, better change the subject.

'_If its true is that why I can feel your emotions when you're close?'_

'_I think so'_

'_And is that why I sometimes want to be near you so bad it hurts?'_

'_Yes. I've been feeling that too, Bella Cravings'_

I laugh at the screen. I get Jasper Craving and apparently he gets Bella Craving, how useless are we?

'_Do you feel it now?'_ I'm curious, because not long after he left the worst of the need went away, not that I don't miss him anyway, I'd rather be talking to him face to face and frankly a hug wouldn't go amiss about now.

'_No.'_

'_Neither do I, is it because we're not near each other?'_

'_I think so. If we were both vampires we would probably still feel it.'_

'_Do you miss it?'_

'_Yes.'_

'_Me too.'_

The screen stays blank for a while.

'_Does it bother you?'_ He asks eventually.

'_Does what bother me?'_ Prevarication.

'_That we could be mates?'_

'_Does it bother you?'_ Cowardly I know but he's the one with PhD in this stuff.

'_Nice try, would it bother you if we were mates?'_

I have no answer, there's undeniably something nice about the idea. To have someone with you, forever, but if they have no choice, if you have no choice? I mean he's never . . . . I was just one of his skirts as Rose called them.

'_Bella?'_

'_Yes'_

'_Why?'_

Jeez, where do I start?

'_Give me a minute'_

'_K'_

For fuck's sake! Do you really expect him to guess Bella? Pull yourself together, you can do this.

'_You've never wanted me in that way'_

'_What way?'_

'_For anything more than sex'_ Jeez, even typing the word makes me blush.

'_Oh'_

My heart sinks, I don't know what I was expecting but that wasn't it. Like it's just occurred to him that the naive little human might have wanted something more.

'_Is that what you think? Despite all the time we've spent together in the last couple of months?'_

We _have_ spent a lot of time together and we talked a lot, but I think he sees me more like a little sister now, apart from the whole lust thing.

'_Yes. And I know you're trying to be a good brother, you do a good job. I appreciate it.'_

'_Is that what you want me to be?'_

Oh no. I am _not_ answering that. I'm not sure I even know the answer.

'_Isn't that what you want to be?'_ There, I'll try Charlie's answer a question with a question tactic.

There is a long, long pause, during which my heart hammers away in my chest.

'_No'_

It heart leaps into my mouth. Nice one Bella. Does he mean no, I don't just want to be your brother, or no, I'd rather not be anything?

'_I don't want to be your brother'_

Oh.

'_And not just because brothers are not supposed to have constant dirty thoughts about their sisters. I have never wanted to be your brother.'_

A warm feeling spreads through me. Is he saying he likes me?

'_Would you like to go on a date with me?'_

'_We can't, can we?'_

'_Answer the question . . . .'_

'_Yes, I'd like to go out on a date with you'_

…..

If I was expecting grief from Rose I didn't get it.

"About fucking time." She muttered, followed by. "How the hell is Major Fuckwit going to take you out on a date that doesn't end in three days of screaming agony or a dead Bella?"

I shrugged. I have no idea either but I'm prepared to go on a little faith here. I doubt he'll kill me and I'm going to end up a vampire anyway, although I'd prefer to finish college first.

The answer, apparently, is pheromones. Carlisle has indeed been enjoying his research and thinks that if I get squirted by a skunk first that should dampen Jasper's instincts enough for us to enjoy a date. Unfortunately it would _kill_ my enjoyment of said date, so Rose sent him back to the drawing board.

As always with vampires, the solution turns out to be both simple and mortifying, for me. There are times in the month when I will not be, ahem, broadcasting my readiness to mate with my pheromones and if Jasper and I are together then he should be able to resist his instinct to bite me.

Naturally my vampires and Orly all think this is absolutely hilarious. Along with Carlisle's edict that we have an Edward style date, as in, modest amounts of recreational enjoyment and minimal touching.

More than once I've suggested to Jasper and Rose that we call the whole thing off but the pair of them have been uncharacteristically adamant that nothing short of war or pestilence is going to prevent him taking me out a genteelly romantic date. And so I have conceded, although when Rose produced a thermometer I did promise to add sticking it up her ass to my newborn's to do list. I've kept it, so she knows I'm serious.

Yeah, I'm still a tad freaked out by all this.

And of course I can't help but wonder whether he's only suggested the date because we're going to end up being together anyway. But no matter how I try to over analyze it I can't wipe the stupid grin off my face.

Char is in charge of wardrobe and has had me waxed to within an inch of my life. I don't see the point, what with Carlisle's rules and all, but she insists that I feel beautiful from head to toe.

And I do feel beautiful, as my five vampire chaperones survey their handiwork with evident satisfaction.

"You look beautiful Bells." Em sighs. "Is it too late to lock her in her room?"

"Yes." Rose and Pete respond in unison.

"Really Em." I huff. "Like anything's going to happen with you lot following us about."

"Damn straight." He growls. "You remember that too little sister."

I roll my eyes and Rose mutters about locking stable doors after horses have bolted.

"Come in the cloakroom for a minute, I need to re-do your mascara." She orders.

Inside she locks the door and sets the water running.

"I have to ask you." She whispers. "If it goes wrong. And I'm sure it won't. What do you want me to do?"

"Bite me Rose."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes. Just don't make it pervy, okay?"

"Okay." She promises with feeling.

We've been through this a lot in the last couple of days and she's been great, I can say things to her that I wouldn't dream of saying to Jasper and she's been completely supportive. Carlisle doesn't actually know if Jasper and I are mates or not and so as a Doctor he's hedging his bets.

Rose on the other hand is the voice of reason. Whether we are not she sees that we're drawn together and has committed herself to seeing we, I, get a chance to explore the possibilities. And I love her even more for it. Not that I've told her that, I don't want to die.

But the fact is, what possibilities are there to explore, if we are mates then neither of us have any choice about the future, and if we aren't then, well, then. Well then I may be in a bit of trouble . . . .


	44. Chapter 44

**Disclaimer: Stephanie Meyer owns all.**

**Rated M for several reasons. **

**Chpt 43 Major Impulse Control, And Friend**

**BPOV**

In high spirits and two cars the six of us head off on my highly unorthodox date. The negotiations were lengthy and complex and to be honest I've forgotten them already. Essentially what it boils down to is that my vampires and Orly will be within rescuing distance at all times.

Rose drops me off at the plaza and then she and Em melt away into the early evening throng while I wait.

My heart skips a bit as I spot him striding towards me, head and shoulders above everyone else, figuratively and literally. From his shiny blonde hair to the tip of his black boots, and everything in between, he really is Major Sex on Legs.

Quickly I raise a hand to my chin to check there's no drool.

Two drunks weave across the narrowing space between us and in a way that seems to happen more and more these days, something about me catches their attention and draws them to me.

"Hey beautiful." Happy drunk one swings toward me as if he's on wheels, dragging his silent friend with him. "What are you doing out here all on your own, waiting for someone special?"

My blonde Adonis leans down between their heads with a smile on his face.

"Yes, she is, _me_." He says quietly.

"Hello." Happy drunk slurs, turning to shake Jasper's hand and then narrowing his eyes at him waspishly. "You'll do. Take care of the beautiful lady."

"Always." Jasper promises.

"Good." Happy drunk one takes a firm hold of silent drunk two and the pair of them sway off down the street.

"Can't leave you alone for a minute." Jasper drawls, looking me over from head to foot. "And he's right, you _are_ beautiful."

Hello blush.

"Ready?"

I nod and place my hand in his outstretched one.

"No crimson dress?" He asks as we stroll along.

"Rose thought it would be _inflammatory_." I giggle.

"She's probably right." He laughs. "I'm rather partial to that dress on you."

"So, where are we going?"

"Dinner and a movie?"

I giggle again, struck by the mental image of Jasper and I sat down in a fancy restaurant, me with a steak on a plate and him with a deer clamped between his perfect teeth.

The restaurant is only short walk and a nice me style compromise of excellent food over flashy surroundings.

Jasper's booked in advance and we're shown to a secluded table in a dark corner where he can get rid of his uneaten food without too much trouble. I know Rose and Em will be in here somewhere but mercifully I can't see them.

Our conversation is awkward and stilted to begin with, neither of us sure what to say, but the sense of relief at being together again is almost palpable and by the time I'm done with my first course we're both starting to relax.

I tell him about my plans for Charlie's visit and for the summer and he has me almost crying with laughter over the short comings of the hotel he's staying in and Pete's 'care packages', one of which gets delivered every day and has become the highlight of the hotel staff's morning.

Unfortunately by the time I've nearly finished my second course the conversation has become more serious, there's so much we need to talk about I suppose it was a bit naïve of me to think we could have a happy-go-lucky date.

It was my plans for the summer and the implications of me starting back to college in the fall that did it. Because all the while I'm human there's a risk that Jasper will forget himself and bite me. I'm still not sure where I stand on the mate thing. The more time passes the more I like the idea and am starting to believe it's true, but then I question myself, is that just because I want it to be. What if we're not and there's no need for him to stay with me?

"We'll find a way to make it work." He promises, sensing my miserable thoughts.

"I wanted to finish college." I sigh, putting down my knife and fork. "But now I'm not sure. That's years and it would be really hard on both of us. I can re-do college a million times but I really want my trip to New York with Charlie."

"Don't change what you want to do with your life just for me." He says, frowning. "You only get to live once, well twice technically, but I can wait. I want you to be happy, I want you to do what you want to do. I hate the idea that you'd have to give up anything for me. I always have.

I'm really glad that we're mates, I want you for eternity. But I also feel bad that someone like you should get stuck with someone like me. If I left, and you stayed human, at least for a while, then you could live your life without me. You could be happy."

My mouth opens and closes again. Never seeing him again? I know the Jasper Cravings will go if he's not around me, so it's not like I'd have to deal with that every day, but to never see him again, talk to him, touch him, hug him, kiss him or get irritated with him?

Ouch.

Hang on. Wait a minute. What?

"You're glad we're mates?" I ask.

"Trust you to ignore the important bit." He laughs.

"No, I don't think so." I object, scowling at him. "The rest of it was just about your incredibly twisted sense of self-worth and I don't want to get into that old argument on a date. You want me for eternity? You don't feel forced into it?"

"No." His gold eyes bore into mine almost hypnotising me as he takes my hand over the table, caressing my palm with his thumb. "From the moment we came back to Forks I wanted you and I didn't understand why. I always thought you were pretty and I always thought you had more about you than we ever really got to see and I certainly thought you were wasted on the Ed Head.

But when we came back. I don't know how to explain it, my thoughts were always consumed with you, and despite you being 'Edward's' and despite my fear of losing the _protection _of Alice, I wanted you more than I ever wanted anyone else.

And of course I knew you wanted me too, at first that just made the whole thing even more dangerous and attractive. But then I couldn't stay away from you. When The Volturi came the most sensible thing to have done would have been to drain you on the spot but the idea never even entered my head. I would have willingly got myself and everyone else killed to protect you.

If I'm honest I couldn't bear the thought of anybody else touching you, even though I knew there was no future for us, I thought, maybe, if I was your first it wouldn't hurt so much to let you go."

A snort escapes me but my thoughts are whirling so fast I couldn't tell you why. He laughs wryly.

"Yeah, Pete thought that was specious reasonin' too. He was, um, very forthright in his opinion of how stupid I'd been. And he saw what I didn't want to admit."

The silence is heavily charged and my insides are clenched into a tight little ball.

"I was falling in love with you." He says calmly, eyes still holding mine.

I gasp and a warm feeling spreads through me. I can feel it, I've felt it before, just never questioned why. And its strong this shape, like huge soft wings wrapped around me, but it's not overpowering. It's _beautiful_.

In some ways two and two come together and suddenly make four in a way they've been failing to do for a while. But in others I just can't grasp it. He loves me? Why? But he does, I can feel it.

"I . . . ."

He continues to rub my palm with his thumb. God he's a strong man, I haven't managed to say anything and yet he's still sat there, calmly waiting for my startled brain to catch up and think of an appropriate response. It's on the tip of my tongue to tell him I love him, like foam threatening to go over the edge of your latte, but the words just won't come out. Instead I look at him pleadingly, not sure how he's going to help but desperate for him to be able to.

"I . . . ."

"Yes, _you_." He says with a small smile. "It's okay. I'm an empath, remember?"

"I can't, I'm not ready . . . ." I whisper, fear twisting my insides. Ready to be his mate, ready to be with him forever, ready for anything except to admit out loud that I might be in love with him. Jeez, Dr Rose is going to have a field day with this one.

And then a new fear stabs at me, have I hurt him, I can't tell because the expression on his face hasn't changed. I close my eyes, feeling for that connection between us, calling out to his emotions. I can still feel the love and the only other thing is contentment, happiness.

He knows! My eyes snap open and he smiles in understanding.

A big goofy grin threatens to rip my face in two. I can live with that, for now.

"Dessert?" He asks, releasing my hand and sitting back.

"My appetite's gone." I admit with a shaky laugh, grateful to the marrow of my bones that he's sensed my need to move away from this topic.

"I'll get the check then."

I follow him out of the restaurant hanging onto his hand and deliberately not looking for Rose and Em, the chances are they heard at least part of our conversation and I'm not ready to explore anyone else's reaction to it.

Hand in hand we meander down the street in companionable silence my anticipation at being close to him in a dark movie theatre building steadily.

Safely ensconced in the back row I snuggle against him as close as I can get.

"Is this okay?" I murmur into his chest, inhaling his fresh cotton scent.

"More than okay." He replies, shifting down a bit so he can bury his face in my hair as his arms close around me.

We both sigh.

"Can you see?" He asks after a while.

"No." The movie really doesn't seem that important anymore.

Laughing he lifts me into his lap so that I can snuggle _and_ see the screen. With another happy sigh I nuzzle into his neck.

I wasn't sure about this movie but after a few minutes I find myself totally engrossed, clutching mindlessly at Jasper's shirt as the heroine is abused by the people who are supposed to be taking care of her. I suppose it could be a strange choice for a date movie but I like the fact he seemed to know I wouldn't be interested in a romcom or some other audiovisual chewing gum.

After a while though, despite how gripping and uncomfortable the movie is, all I can concentrate on is Jasper's hard body against mine.

Mindful of Carlisle's warnings and not wanting Jasper to sink his teeth into me in front of all these nice innocent people, I try to think about something else, but it's impossible. Pretending to fidget I risk a peek up at him and that doesn't help, he's looking down at me with an intensity that has my stomach revolving slowly.

"You really are beautiful." He whispers, tracing my lips with a long cool finger.

"So are you." I respond honestly and without thinking. Maybe that's not something you're supposed to say to a man, especially not one like Jasper. But it's true, looking at him now I must have been so wrapped up in the romantic idea of Edward that I was oblivious to it. God I was a naïve idiot then in so many ways.

With a ghost smile he leans down and brushes his lips across mine and immediately my whole body is thrumming with anticipation and need.

"I love your lips." He murmurs into them. "Especially when they're against mine."

I moan and he slips his tongue in and out of my mouth, teasing me.

"I love the little noises that you make, the ones that only I know and I love that only I know them."

His tongue slides deeper into my mouth setting a languid but purposeful tempo to the kiss, which our hands match as they rove over each other's body's, not an easy thing to do in a seat with arms. Eventually wanting more I shift to sit astride his lap and with a groan he twists his hands in my hair, pulling me closer to him.

And the nature of the kiss changes, deepening and becoming more urgent as we both inhale sharply, fuelled by _need_ on both sides. His big hands drop to my ass massaging me against the hardness in his pants, making us both groan.

I've no idea what the people on either side of us think as I rapidly fall into the universe where only Jasper and I exist.

His hands slide under my skirt, caressing my thighs and rocking our bodies gently together and I want him so badly I _ache_ with it.

"Take me home." I beg when he releases me from the kiss for some much need air.

"We can't." He groans, rolling his hips up into me.

"Then take me away somewhere, please Jasper, I need you."

He buries his face in my neck, nibbling gently at it with lip covered teeth.

"I want to Bella, I can't tell you how much, but it's too risky. What if I bite you?"

"You won't." I moan, desperate for him to believe in himself as much as I do. "You know how much I want to see Charlie next week, I trust you. Jasper _please_."

He shakes his head slightly, still rocking us gently together and I decide to take matters into my own hands. Reaching down I stroke his length through the fabric of his pants and he hisses then growls in my ear.

"_Bella_." He warns.

I trail my lips over the skin behind his ear.

"Then don't make me push you any further." I growl back, dragging my little human teeth across his skin and darting my tongue out to lick him. "Take me away from here, _now_."

Abruptly he surges to his feet and before I know what's happening I'm outside, pushed up against the wall of the alley with my legs wrapped around his waist.

His kiss sets me on fire and I wouldn't care if he took me right here next to the dumpster, in fact I arch my body against him almost in invitation.

"I want you." He groans, running his hands along my thighs and over my ass before plunging one inside my panties, trailing it purposefully through my hot wet flesh.

"Jasper, _please_." I beg again, throwing my head back against the brickwork and gripping him harder with my thighs.

"Are you sure about this?" He asks, pulling back to stare intently into my eyes.

I nod mutely, willing him to believe me.

Suddenly he smiles, like the sun coming out and sets me down on my feet, crushing me to him and planting a kiss on me that curls my toes and sucks all the air from my lungs.

"What about The Chaperones?" I gasp when he finally releases me.

"You're with The Major now darlin'." He laughs placing a chaste kiss on the tip of my nose. "If you're sure you want to do this all you have to do is say yes, and I'll get us out of here."

Rose. Is. Going. To. Kill. Me.

"Yes."


	45. Chapter 45

**Disclaimer: Stephanie Meyer owns all.**

**Rated M for several reasons. Lemon.**

**Chpt 44 Going Down in a Blaze of Glory**

**BPOV**

The word has barely left my lips before The Chaperones burst through the fire exit but even then Jasper is already running, clutching me to him like a baby in a sling.

The chase is short but exhilarating, the cityscape moving past me in a blur as we leap from building to building. I have no idea either where we are or where our pursuers are but he stops suddenly tucking us side by side into a deeply shadowed roof overhang, and pressing his finger to my lips urging me to be quiet.

Awash with adrenaline, excitement and god knows what else I suck his long finger into my mouth. He doesn't make a sound as my tongue swirls around it but his eyes darken perceptibly and if looks could strip a person naked we'd be at least halfway to where I want to be.

Those eyes hold mine and I can't look away as he slowly pulls his finger from my mouth, pressing it briefly to my lips again to remind me to be silent and then purposefully but unhurriedly trails it down my neck and into my cleavage.

I shudder and he raises his eyebrow.

Still again I stare into his eyes as he trails it down my body and along my thigh, teasing the bare flesh where my dress has ridden up over my knees before questing it lightly up underneath.

He holds his other finger up to my lips and even with my weak ears I can hear someone moving about on the rooftop above us. His eyes haven't lost their intensity but the ghost smile has formed on his lips as his finger strokes lightly at my hip, toying with the lace of my panties.

My thighs, which are bearing the strain as I crouch down, tremble slightly.

Slowly the finger traces around the outline of my underwear, and his eyebrow rises again, testing my resolve to stay quiet and avoid detection. Apparently satisfied the finger's owner dips it down, between my thighs, rubbing it briefly against me through the flimsy fabric.

My eyes roll back in my head but I manage to stay quiet.

It withdraws, returning to lazily circling the edge of my panties like a cat looking for a way into a birdcage and I open my eyes to find his face mere inches from mine.

'_Want_.' He mouths and I press my lips to the finger still held against them.

He drags that finger down, pulling my lip out and then darts forward to capture it between his own, sucking it gently, and it takes all my will power to stifle the moan. He releases my lip, slanting his mouth down over my own, his tongue forcing its way inside and my hands whip up to fist in his hair.

The hand between my thighs cups me roughly as the other massages my breast, bringing the nipple to an instant hard peak and I clutch onto his hair tighter to hold myself upright.

Effortlessly he turns our body's to face each other, lifting me to straddle his thighs and wrapping his arms tightly around me as we attack each other's mouths. There's nothing quiet about this kiss, it's got everything in it we've been denying ourselves since graduation.

"Oh god Bella." He groans, pulling away eventually and transferring his attention to my neck so I can breathe. "I _need_ you. I need to be inside you."

Heat flashes through me at his words and I arch into his body drawing another groan from him.

"_Please_." I whimper.

Covering my mouth with his own again he drops one hand between my thighs again, stroking me purposefully through the fabric and rubbing my aching bundle of nerves with his thumb. I moan wantonly, pushing myself into his hand and with a flick of his wrist he rips away my sodden panties, making me gasp when his cool hand touches the hot wet flesh between my legs.

"Bella." He groans between placing open mouthed kisses on my neck and collar bones. "So wet, so ready for me."

I moan again as he resumes stroking me, teasing my entrance with his fingers while his thumb continues to stroke my sensitive flesh.

"_Jasper_." I plead.

Tilting me backwards, supported by his free hand, he transfers his kisses to my breastbone as he slides one long finger and then another inside me, opening them to stretch me deliciously as he pumps them slowly in and out.

My head falls back and my mouth works soundlessly as my hands move restlessly in his hair. Turning his head he nudges my dress down with his nose, closing his mouth over my straining nipple through the cup of my bra.

"Oh god." I rasp out as my whole body starts to tremble.

Trailing wet kisses across my skin he transfers his mouth to my other breast, his fingers and thumb continuing to work on me, spreading heat throughout my body and wetness between my thighs.

I arch my body into him again, instinctively wanting more, and he rears up capturing my lips with his and plunging his tongue into my mouth as his fingers and thumb pump harder and faster.

"Cum for me Bella." He whispers into my mouth, barely breaking the kiss. "Let me feel you cum on my hand."

Heat and anticipation build within me rapidly as I writhe on his hand and he teases my mouth with his lips and tongue.

"I can feel you." He groans. "I can feel how close you are . . . . you're like silk wrapped around my fingers . . . . hot and wet . . . . and tight . . . . oh god Bella, I want to be inside you so badly . . . ."

His words in my ears are like he's stroking a third erogenous zone on me and they go straight to the warmth and tingling at my centre, I can feel my walls clamping down around his thrusting fingers as my orgasm approaches and he continues to rub my clit with his thumb.

"Oh god." I gasp again as my muscles pull tight and electricity flashes over my skin. "I'm going to . . . . oh my god . . . . JASPER!"

He covers my mouth with his own again, swallowing my scream as I climax, walls clenching rhythmically and hard around his still pumping fingers, legs flung out, hands pulling at his hair while I ride out the almost unbearable waves.

Gradually he slows his movements, caressing me gently inside with his fingers, thumb lightly stroking my over sensitized nub.

My body is still shuddering with the aftershocks when he withdraws his hand, clutching me to him and kissing me softly.

"I love you." He whispers into my hair as my spent body collapses against his and I rest my head on his chest.

Once again the words are on the tip of my tongue but even if I could say them I don't currently have the breath. Instead I hug him tighter and shiver.

"You're cold." He observes, rising to his feet and pulling me with him to stand on wobbly legs, as he wraps his jacket around me.

"Let's get you indoors."

I nod mutely, closing my eyes as he swings me onto his back and sets off across the rooftops again.

When I open them we're in another alley, just out of sight of the throngs passing by on the street and he eases me onto my feet, leaning down to kiss me again.

"I have somewhere we can go." He says quietly, rubbing his hands up and down my back. "Or I can take you home, we might have risked enough for one night."

"No." My response is automatic. I want to be with him, I need to be with him.

Smiling he tucks me into his side and we emerge into the light opposite the most expensive hotel in town.

"Is this a coincidence?" I giggle.

"No." He chuckles without any hint of embarrassment. "We have a reservation and this is the forward plannin' of a man with hope in his heart and a permanent hard on in his pants."

I laugh too, despite the fact I should be absolutely mortified and blushing like a tomato.

Inside I snuggle against him and text Rose while he checks in 'Mr and Mrs Smith'.

Her response is a simple 'You are in so much trouble', which makes me smile.

Slowly but surely I start to get nervous and sensing it Jasper strokes my arm, dropping kisses onto the top of my head while he deals with the clerk.

When we reach the seclusion of the elevator he takes me in his arms without a word, kissing me gently but passionately, once again rubbing his hands up and down my back while mine rest on his chest, feeling the sharp planes of his muscles.

But despite the innate pleasure of being in his arms a knot of nervous anticipation continues to form in my stomach.

On our floor he takes my hand, leading me to the room and ushering me inside.

"I need a shower." I stammer, inspecting my shoes aware of my still wet thighs.

"You don't." He whispers, cupping my chin with his hand and lifting it up so that I have to look at him. "You need to let me love you."

He leans down, brushing his lips across mine and then takes my hand, leading me over to the bed.

In silence he pushes his jacket off my shoulders and reaches around to unzip my dress, sliding it off my shoulders and letting it drop to the floor at my feet and I keep my eyes fixed on his dark ones. My bra follows and so I'm stood before him naked in just my high heels.

"So beautiful." He murmurs, eyes raking over my body in a way that suffuses me with warmth.

Staring into my eyes he slowly undoes the buttons of his shirt, shrugging it off and letting it fall to the floor, allowing me a moment to shamelessly ogle his physique before he takes off his belt removing his trousers and kicking off his boots.

No underpants.

Overcome by a need to touch him it's me that moves first and he stands in silence as I run my hands over his hard body in wonder. He's perfect, a pale marble statue of the masculine ideal and brazenly I step closer reaching down hesitantly to touch his erection.

With a hiss he closes his eyes bringing his hands up to rest lightly on my shoulders.

Completely absorbed I look down watching myself stroke his hard length, using my thumb to capture the moisture gathered at the tip and spread it along the shaft. He groans, burying his head in my hair and inhaling deeply, his thumbs caressing my neck.

Still stroking him I lean forward, kissing across his stone chest and darting my tongue out to flick at his nipple.

Abruptly I find myself under him on the bed, his cool body on top of mine, tongue and lips laying expert claim to my mouth, hands softly exploring every inch of my body he can reach. Trailing up and down my thighs, along my sides, across the outer swell of my breasts and through my hair, setting me on fire. Soon we're rolling around the huge bed, feverishly running our hands and mouths over every bit of flesh we can reach and rubbing our body's together desperately. And I _ache_ with need.

Flipping us over he props himself up against the headboard with me straddling his lap and attacks my mouth hungrily again.

Conscious of his erection pressing between my thighs I grind myself against him instinctively and he releases my mouth suddenly staring down at me intently.

"I want you." He growls softly. "I need to be inside you."

Reaching down he strokes his hand between my thighs spreading the moisture pooled there and nudging a finger at my entrance.

"Are you ready for me?" He whispers, leaning down and teasing my lips with his. "Do you want me?"

"Y-es." I stutter as he slips the finger inside me.

"Silk." He murmurs, tracing around my lips with the tip of his tongue as his hands grasp my hips, manoeuvring me so that his tip is poised to enter me. "You feel like silk."

And slowly he lowers me down, filling and stretching me until I'm impaled on him. My eyes close and a long sigh escapes me as I savour the sensation of having him in my body again. We are still for a long moment and the only sound I can hear is the loud thump of my heart beating.

"Look at me." He orders quietly and I open my eyes placing my hands on his chest.

"I love you Bella." And he begins to move me, rocking us together gently so that he flexes inside me.

I reach up and kiss him, pouring everything I feel into it as he continues to push up into me slowly, intensifying my ache and forcing moisture out of every pore of my skin.

Needing more I start moving against him and he releases my hips, allowing me to set the pace and moving his hands to massage my breasts, rolling my stiff peaks between his fingers.

We both groan when I find an angle that lets him even deeper inside me and he transfers his hands back to my hips, once again setting the rhythm and replacing them with his mouth at my breast as my head falls back and my body tilts after it. My whole world is reduced to the feel of him sliding in and out of me, his hands and mouth on my skin, the sound of my harsh breathing and the feel of him under my fingers. And through it all the building sensation of pleasure, warm and electric, seeping slowly out from where we're joined.

"Bella." His voice is low and hoarse as he kisses his way up to my neck, pushing into me with more urgency. "God I want to claim you . . . . mark you, so that everyone knows you're _mine_ . . . . feels so good . . . . _need_ . . . . "

"_Jasper_." I manage to choke out as he flips us over, supporting his weight on one arm, lifting my opposite leg up and thrusting in and out of me in earnest, tongue plunging into my mouth roughly and right away the steady building sensation of before morphs into something completely different. A tight coil forms in my stomach, drawing in all the tingling warmth from my body, pulling my muscles taut and arching my back off the bed.

I wrap my legs around him as high as I can and he raises himself onto both arms, driving into me deeper, harder and faster. Pulling the coil tighter. Black eyes holding mine. Tighter, deeper, harder, faster.

"I can't . . . . _fuck_ . . . . _Jasper_ . . . ." Unable to form a coherent sentence or frame a sensible thought I whimper and moan, gripping his shoulders with all my strength as I try to anchor myself against the tsunami that's threatening to carry me away. Every powerful thrust of his hips pulling the coil tighter inside me and shooting a tremor through my limbs.

"Bella." He gasps, eyes closing. "I'm gonna cum . . . . fuck . . . . I can't . . . . oh god, my love, my mate . . . . Bella, _please_ . . . ."

Faster, deeper, tighter, harder. To the point of insanity. Unable to look away from his beautiful face, hair hanging around it, blonde eyelashes glinting against his pale skin, perfect lips parted. Harder, tighter, faster, deeper.

His eyes snap open and for a brief moment I feel like we're looking into each other's souls.

And then the coil snaps and a searing orgasm blazes through me, stealing my breath, blinding my sight and robbing me even of the ability to scream. My walls clench around him so hard it feels like he's suddenly doubled in size and with a primitive shout of ecstasy he follows me over the edge, rhythm shot as he tries to bury himself as deeply between my thighs as he can.

"_Mine_." He growls.

**RPOV**

When I realised he'd taken her, not that the little minx didn't want him to, I went cold all over. I know she's going to be one of us one day anyway but I've always promised her that barring accidents it would be on her timescale and her terms.

Getting bitten while Major Sex on Legs fucks your brains out was probably as good a way to go as any but there were still a few things I knew she wanted to do, like take that trip to New York with Charlie.

So it was with mixed feelings that I took off after them when Jazz made a run for it. Yes, I knew that even with him carrying Bella I'd never catch him. Yes, I knew that she was capable of making her own choice to be alone with him and was perfectly aware of the potential consequences. And no, other than turning her early I had no fear that Major Fuckwit would drain her, he loves her, the poor girl. But still, I care about her too much to just let her go, so I chased him over the rooftops while Em and the others trailed after me, laughing their stupid heads off and making jokes about me being an overprotective momma.

I lost Jazz somewhere downtown and so we went home to wait, but getting her text didn't stop me pacing for the whole night until she finally came home at 9am, walking like a cowgirl, smiling like an eejit and smelling of Jazz and sex.

But she came home alive and I couldn't help but be seriously impressed with my twin. That's some self-control he's got there when properly motivated.

I questioned her closely when she said she wanted to be changed after Charlie's visit but I couldn't argue with her logic or her conviction. And I was touched that she'd considered how her change of plans would affect the rest of us. Of course we were all for it, watching someone you care about risk their life everyday just by getting out of bed is very wearing, even for the undead.

With a sense of excitement that was probably inappropriate we began making preparations. Pete and Char were letting us use their ranch in Minnesota, plenty secluded enough for a newborn's first year. The plan was to simply let her disappear since Charlie would know what was happening.

We started to pack everything up, even the workshop since The Balsa Wood Boys are taking their thriving business with them and Char and I are going to run the internet side of it from the ranch. We packed Jazz's stuff too as he'd already left for New Hampshire so that he would be back in time to meet Charlie before he returns to Forks.

And so everything is looking good as I lounge against my BMW waiting for Bella to collect the cake she's ordered for Charlie's visit. I can't help but smile as she shoulders out through the door balancing the cake box precariously on one hand while the other fumbles to stuff her wallet back in her purse.

Smiling happily she turns to avoid an on-coming pedestrian, pirouettes easily around another, tangles her sneakered feet in the dangling strap of her purse and then gracefully, like the white swan at the end of Swan Lake, dives head first into the path of a garbage truck.


	46. Chapter 46

**Disclaimer: Stephanie Meyer owns all.**

**Rated M for several reasons.**

**Chpt 45 How She Died**

**RPOV**

To a vampire almost everything in the human world happens in slow motion and so the cliché of time slowing down is a long forgotten experience for me.

The sound of her head hitting the front of the truck, the cake box cart wheeling down the street and the tyres running over her soft body as I fly towards her, will haunt me forever.

I'm already examining her injuries as onlookers gather and good Samaritans 'help' me get her out from under the truck. Blood, her blood, which is everywhere, has never been so easy to ignore.

The urge to take her and run is almost overpowering but I force myself to stay calm and think the situation through carefully, ignoring the clamour going on all around me.

She's out cold but her heart is beating strongly and her breathing is good. She's got several broken bones but other than that I can't hear any disturbance inside her body that would indicate internal injuries.

She might be okay, she might, albeit in a cast, still get her trip with Charlie, she might at the least be able to spend time with him at home. But if I take her now it's over and so against my instincts, and for _her_, I decide to let the humans take her to the hospital.

Waiting for the ambulance tests every shred of patience I don't have, and the desire to bite one of the soft squishy humans who keep poking at Bella and asking if she's okay is fearsome. Why can't they just fuck off so I can call Em, I need to talk to him, I need to tell him. I need to hear his voice telling me that everything will be okay. And so help me god I need to call Jazz, I've never known him care about anything before and I've no idea how he'll react. Thank god he's with Carlisle, the world's greatest calming influence.

My ears pick up the sound of the siren before the humans and I breathe a gusty sigh of relief. Bella's still out cold and my earlier optimism is leaking away. My mind is on a constant loop, replaying the sound of her head connecting with the truck.

"Come on baby." I whisper. "Wake up, I need to tell you how fucking clumsy you are."

Finally, the ambulance.

Reluctantly I allow the EMTs to replace me at Bella's side, taking out my cell to call Em.

"What's up babe?" He asks. "Mission Cake gone to hell? Bells run off with Jazz again?"

"Bella's been hit by a truck."

"Fuck, is she okay? Tell me she's okay Rose."

"I don't know Em. Broken bones." I stop, taking a deep shuddering breath. "She's unconscious Em. She hit her head . . . ."

"Hey, hey, _babe_." His voice is soothing although I can hardly hear it over my own sobs. "Where are you, I'm turning round."

"No. You'd better go ahead and pick Charlie up."

"Okay. Let me know which hospital, I'll bring him straight there from the airport."

"Okay." I stop again, struggling to get myself under control, I've never needed his big stupid arms around me so much in my life. "Hurry."

"Hey babe, I'm NASCAR vampire, remember?"

"K." I almost whimper.

"Will you . . . ."

"Yes. First sign of trouble. I'll stay with her, I won't let her die Em, no matter what the consequences."

We sigh together, a long heavy one.

"I know babe and I wouldn't have it any other way." He says after a pause. "Do what you need to do. I love you."

"I love you too." I sigh again. "Will you tell the others, they need to start the plan. I'll call Jazz."

"Okay babe." He disconnects the call and I stare at the phone for a long moment.

I've been listening to the EMTs the whole time and their concern about Bella's head injury is making my stone skin prickle. Should I just take her now?

No, it's too late. There are too many people here who would notice the accident victim and her friend disappearing suddenly.

Dangerously tense I allow the EMTs to usher me into the ambulance with Bella and I grit my teeth as we set off for the hospital at what the humans consider a suitably brisk pace.

While the little bald, sweet smelling guy, fusses over Bella I turn away pretending to cry and call Carlisle, the human won't hear natural vampire speech.

"Rosalie!" His warm voices washes over me. "It's nice of you to call me but if you are concerned I can assure you the divorce negotiations are going well, Alice is already planning a shopping trip to Milan."

"Is Jazz there?"

"No, he's hunting with Edward."

"Bella's been hit by a truck."

"Symptoms?" He demands.

I explain quickly.

"She sounds stable and may just be concussed, but watch her carefully Rosalie." He commands. "Venom will cure almost anything but do not delay if you think her condition is deteriorating."

"Will you . . . ."

"I will talk to Jasper and get him to call you before he does anything."

"Thank you." I whisper.

"If you want me to come, just call me."

"Thanks Dad."

"Rosalie, _daughter_." He says in his rich honeyed tone. "Trust yourself."

I disconnect the call as the ambulance backs ponderously into the emergency bay.

Inside I give the nurse as much of Bella's medical history as I know and then, ignoring every one of my protective instincts, I let them wheel her away.

When I'm satisfied that she's close enough for me to hear her heartbeat and every word the medical team say I perch on a bench in the waiting area and settle in for a seriously good fret.

My cell rings and when I see the caller ID I sigh.

"Where is she?" Jazz demands. "Is she okay?"

"Are you running?" I ask, the sound of wind is making it hard for even a vampire to hear him.

"Of course I'm fuckin' runnin'." He snarls. "If anythin' happens to her . . . ."

My heart goes out to him and my stomach clenches in sudden fear.

"I'm sorry." I sob.

"Don't fuckin' break down on me now Blondie." He growls. "You've got more balls than anyone else I know. I'm relyin' on you to fuckin' take care of her."

"I will." I promise, realising that things have changed and we haven't even talked about who will turn her. "Jazz . . . ."

"Don't let her die Rose. Promise me, I don't give a shit who's venom runs in her veins, I can't live . . . . Fuck!"

"One way or another, I promise."

"_Rose _. . . ." The anguish in his voice almost brings me to my knees.

"_Jasper_. I _promise_. I love her too." Activity around Bella claims my attention. "I have to go . . . ."

"What? Why?" He demands.

"Humans!" I snap, ending the call.

The Doctor's are talking about operating to relieve pressure in her skull.

Holy shit. This is fucking insane and twelve months ago I wouldn't have even contemplated it but I'm already on my feet.

At full speed I tear down to the room where they are treating Bella, the Doctors have left to prep for surgery and only a nurse is left, monitoring her vital signs and filling in the paperwork. She doesn't even hear me coming and I grab Bella, ripping out her IV lines and carrying her, at vampire speed, back out into the corridor. I'm too fast for the human eye to follow but the wind of my passage and the shouts of the nurse soon have everyone out in the hall trying to work out what's happening.

I dive into the stairwell and speed up to the roof, laying her broken body carefully down.

"I'm so sorry baby." I sob as I push or remove the remnants of clothing from her wrists and ankles. "It was never supposed to be like this."

I kiss her tenderly on her battered and swollen forehead and with a silent prayer sink my teeth into her carotid artery, pushing in as much venom as I can. Without a second thought I spit out the first human blood I've ever tasted and quickly bite into her wrists and ankles.

She begins to tremble slightly but there is no noticeable change in her condition. Knowing from the smell of her blood that there is enough venom in her I whip my cell out and call Em, then Pete.

Em confirms that he and Charlie will now head toward Minnesota and Pete informs me that Char is already on her way to the ranch and he's stolen a suitable refrigerated truck to transport Bella there. So all I need to do is keep Bella quiet another hour until nightfall so I can leave the hospital unseen.

Beneath me all hell is breaking loose and the hospital parking lot is rapidly filling with police cars. I can't imagine one gravely injured human disappearing inexplicably from a hospital will really bother The Volturi but nevertheless I spend the time waiting for dark, with Bella cradled in my lap, mulling over whether or not the humans will find anything.

They will know I was there before Bella disappeared and that I vanished at the same time but vampire speed is too fast for CCTV cameras, they aren't likely to catch even a blurry shadow of my movements, the best they'd get would be a shot of me sat there in one frame and gone in the next. Bella likewise if there was a camera in her room.

What they won't know, hopefully, is who she was. Because I gave them false names. It will be a mystery. An unsolvable mystery.

'_I'm out back with the truck.'_ Pete texts.

'_Okay, another ten minutes or so should do it.'_ I respond.

I've checked and from the section of roof I'm on I should be able to jump straight down into the loading bay by the truck without being seen or jostling Bella too much.

Fuck! Why did this have to happen? Poor Bella, I wish I could tell if she's in pain, or aware of what's happening. Nothing had better go wrong, she'd better be absolutely fine, I don't care if the change hurts so much she doesn't speak to me for centuries as long as she's around to make the choice.

Humans are approaching, grumbling.

"This is fucking pointless Ned." A deep voice huffs. "We have to traipse all the way up here because some bozo misdiagnosed some chick who clearly wasn't as ill as he thought she was."

"Think of the good it's doing your waistline." The other one laughs. "I'll wait here."

"Yeah, yeah, vertigo. I know." The first voice mutters, stepping out of the stairwell and onto the roof.

I get to my feet, with Bella in my arms, and dart across to the edge of the roof looking down to see if the coast is clear. It isn't but as this will probably be the last bit of roof he searches, if he even does a thorough job, there might be enough time.

"Come on, come on." I hiss at the darkening sky, eyes darting between the area around Pete's truck and the ventilation shaft around which some hapless human could walk any minute.

Fuck I wish had a useful gift.

Of course this would be the point at which the venom has worked enough of its healing magic for Bella to start whimpering.

Carefully I put my hand over her mouth feeling the sheen of sweat that's building up on her exposed skin. Thankfully she doesn't struggle.

There are still too many people below to risk jumping. I might be a supernatural being but some laws of physics are immutable, I can't fall any faster than the law of gravity says I can and someone _will_ see me.

The crunch of footsteps on the gravel of the roof is getting nearer as the human approaches the ventilation shaft.

"Please don't." I growl quietly. A dead human on the roof is just going to exacerbate the whole situation.

Although with a sigh I realise that there is a better option. If I throw him off the front of the building it will create a perfect diversion for me to escape from the back.

Carefully I put Bella down, far enough from the edge that if she starts thrashing she won't be able to throw herself over, then I move closer to the shaft waiting.

"Fuck!" The guy exclaims softly when he spots Bella's prone form. "How the fuck did she get all the way up here . . . ."

With no sense of self preservation he steps forward, pulling the radio from his belt and keying the mike as he raises it his mouth. The last thing he ever does. Reaching out I snap his neck easily, catching him before his body falls to the gravel and slinging him over my shoulder.

Bella moans and as its almost full dark I decide not to wait any longer, shoving the guard's radio back in his belt I flit silently to the opposite side of the roof an unceremoniously throw him off.

A few seconds later the screaming starts and with a grim smile I dart back to collect Bella, once again hovering at the edge of the roof. The area around the truck has cleared magically and I leap without hesitation, landing silently beside Pete's window and he jumps out, helping me settle Bella on the mess of blankets in the back.

"Change looks good Blondie." He drawls.

"The swelling on her brain is going down already." I confirm with a sigh.

"She'll be fine." He says softly, deliberately not looking at me. "J changed a guy once whose head was half stoved in. He was right as rain although he did have a bald patch where his hair never grew back."

I snarl and he laughs, patting me gently on the back.

"Ya did good Rose."

I clamber in with Bella and he gets back in the driver's seat, staring up the engine and the refrigeration unit to begin our journey to Minnesota.

As we drive around the front of the building he chuckles quietly at the scene of chaos.

"I take it you had somethin' to do with the miraculous non-flyin' human?" He drawls.

"He found us, never _ever_, tell her Pete." I growl.

"Promise Blondie." He vows. "She don't need to know that."

Then he chuckles again, turning to give me a wink through the open hatch.

"Although I'll be honest, ya could have just run around in circles with her until he left. He'd never have seen ya."

I flip my hair back over my shoulder and pull Bella further into my lap.

"I was preoccupied." I snap.

And he laughs, for a good twenty miles.

Asshole.


	47. Chapter 47

**Disclaimer: Stephanie Meyer owns all.**

**Rated M for several reasons.**

**Chpt 46 The Journey**

**RPOV**

Watching the change begin in Bella fills me with mixed emotions.

I'm happy, soon she'll be a suitably indestructible member of our family and I won't have to worry about her as much. I'm scared, that something will go wrong, that I waited too long or she won't be strong enough to survive the process. I'm sorry, so sorry, for the pain my bite is going to cause her.

I'm worried because she's so quiet but at the same time I'm relieved because we'll be meeting up with Em and Charlie in a couple of minutes and although I can't be sure she'll be aware of her father's presence I want to at least be able to tell her that he saw her, at the end.

Jazz was driving me crazy so Pete's left his cell on loudspeaker so that he can hear everything that's going on in the truck.

Bella's burning hot now, sweat pouring out of her and I've stripped her down to her bra and panties and turned the temperature down as far as it will go. She's whimpering almost constantly but other than the occasional twitch she's not thrashing about the way I was expecting.

Of course I've only ever seen Em's change and it took all of us to hold him down, even poor Esme, who spent two days sitting on his ankles, but both Pete and Jazz think she's progressing normally. As to how aware she is, I've no idea, but Pete and I keep talking to her anyway, telling her over and over that Charlie and Jazz are coming.

There's no noticeable change to her appearance or skin yet but the smell of her blood has already altered radically. My baby's going to be a vampire.

"We're here." Pete announces turning off the highway and bumping down a dirt track.

After a couple of minutes, when we're well into the forest and away from the road, the truck rolls to a stop. Immediately the rear doors swing open and Em drags me out by my feet, snatching me up in a crushing embrace.

I close my eyes for a moment, drawing comfort from his presence and then turn my attention to Charlie who is hovering behind Em, face creased with worry.

"She's okay." I smile reassuringly, offering him my hand. "Come see her."

He takes it without hesitation and I help him up into the truck, Em clambers in too, it makes it a tight fit but if she starts thrashing we'll need his strength to restrain her. And besides, I need him near me right now.

Outside Pete stands guard and I can hear him speaking soothingly to Jazz.

"Can I touch her?" Charlie whispers.

I nod and Em braces himself as Charlie reaches his hand out and gently brushes her hair away from her clammy, bloody forehead.

"Bells?" He asks tentatively.

She whimpers slightly but otherwise doesn't respond.

"Is she going to be okay?" He asks without looking up from his daughter.

"Yes." I force myself to sound completely confident. "Venom is very powerful, her broken bones are knitting together already."

"And her head?" His eyes, so like Bella's, snap to mine.

"The broken bone is healing and the swelling is almost gone."

"How can you tell without an x-ray or whatever?" His voice is suspicious and it occurs to me that although his bullshit meter is highly effective it only operates on human terms.

"I can hear it." And I can, now I know what I'm looking for, which is interesting. No wonder Carlisle is always the best Doctor in town, I knew his extra senses helped him enormously but I'd no idea to what degree.

"Oh." His eyes drop back down to Bella and I'm guessing we've pushed at his 'need to know' boundary.

"Can I talk to her, can she hear me?"

For the first time in my life I consider lying to spare someone pain, but only briefly, I haven't changed that much. Life is what it is and people need to deal with it as such.

"I don't know." I sigh.

"Her injury?" He asks in a small voice.

"Maybe." I respond. "But in part the change, its, um, painful and tends to shut down your senses."

As I shudder Em strokes my thigh soothingly. Perfect recall is great but there are some things it would be nice to forget.

"Can I talk to her in private?"

"No."

Once again his eyes snap to mine.

"Charlie, she's changing, turning into something new and stronger. If anything happened and she hurt you she'd never forgive herself."

Charlie huffs and then looks down again, still stroking her hair and taking her hand.

"Bells. I don't know what to say. I l-love you very much. Always have." He stops and glares at me briefly before carrying on. "I'm sorry I missed a lot of your growing up but I'm so glad you came to live with me even though I know it hurt you to do it.

I'm sorry I never told you what I knew, that I effectively lied to you, but I didn't know what else to do.

I'm glad you've got another family now." His eyes flick to mine briefly. "One that loves you as much as I do. And I'm glad that you get a second go at everything. But I want you to make the most of it Bells. I know you'll technically be dead, but I want you to live, really live and be happy."

A sob escapes him and Em and I look away. He's a strong man and he doesn't need to see our pity.

"Don't forget me Bells." He pleads, talking as much to us as to Bella. "I know I might never see you again but please, please, find a way to let me know you're okay. I will be happy, if I know you are okay.

I'm real sorry I never got to meet your new squeeze but I'm going to trust your judgement. Just make sure he loves you properly, puts you first and cares about what you want. If he doesn't, don't wait Bells and don't cling onto to a bad deal. You deserve to be happy and you deserve to be somebody else's whole world. Just like you are mine . . . ."

He breaks down, sobbing and a little lump forms in my throat. Em smiles at me gently, he's the only one who knows how much I miss my own father.

We sit in silence for what feels like forever as Charlie stares down at his dying daughter, big fat tears splashing down onto her face.

Gradually her whimpers are becoming louder and her movements are getting stronger.

"We can't stay much longer." I murmur. Apart from not wanting her to hurt him I also don't want him to see what she's about to go through. He doesn't need that memory.

"Incoming." Pete warns suddenly, planting himself in front of the doors.

Seconds later a wild looking Jazz thunders to a stop in front of him.

Great. Major Reasonable is not entirely home to callers right now.

"J." Pete says in his softest, calmest voice. "Charlie's here. The little one is doin' fine. Take it easy buddy."

Jazz growls at Pete but doesn't move and I can almost hear the cogs in his mind snapping and grinding as he fights for control and, always stronger than he gives himself credit for, he takes a deep breath and nods. He still looks wild but slightly less like he's going to kill somebody.

Pete steps aside and Em hops out, Jazz taking his place at speed that has Charlie reeling.

"_Bella_." He sighs, taking her other hand and pressing it to his lips. "I'm here. I'm so sorry I wasn't there."

"Jasper." She moans, so quietly that Charlie doesn't hear and I'm not entirely sure I did.

"I love you." He kisses her lips gently and she sighs, which Charlie does see.

"She's in pain." He tells me at vampire speed.

"Can you help her?" I respond in kind.

He nods and closes his eyes.

"What's happening?" Charlie asks in the apparent silence.

"Jazz is empathic." I cast around in my mind for the best way to describe it without giving him more information than he wants. "The change can be difficult, he can help her."

"She's in pain?" Charlie asks watching Jazz intently.

He nods.

"Oh Bells." Charlie sighs. "I wish I could help you too."

"You are helping her." Jazz says quietly without opening his eyes. "She knows you're here."

"Ow!" Charlie yelps. "She squeezed my hand."

"Now she feels bad." Jazz chuckles and Charlie looks at him strangely.

We sit like this for a long time and then Jazz speaks again at vampire speed.

"She's struggling to hold it in Rose. She's really hurting. It's time for Em to take Charlie back to the airport." His voice is thick with strain.

"Charlie." He looks up at me questioningly.

"I'm sorry. Its time. We have to go."

"Do you have my numbers?" He asks.

"Yes."

"You'll call me?"

"I promise."

"I've gotta go Bells. I love you. But I know I'm leaving you in good hands. These people, they love you the way you should be loved."

Leaning down he presses his lips to her bloody forehead. Then he fixes his eyes on Jazz, who looks up sensing his scrutiny.

"You take care of her." Charlie orders, his voice choking. "Don't you ever hurt her."

"I won't." Jazz responds, offering Charlie his hand.

They shake, staring manfully into each other's eyes and finally Charlie nods turning his gaze to me.

"I know you think you're the biggest bitch in creation." He growls. "But I'm trusting you with my baby for a reason, we both know what that is, don't let me down."

"I won't." I promise. Jeez am I wearing a sign around my neck now?

"Humph." He leans down to kiss Bella again. "Where's that crazy vampire who thinks he's Dale Earnhardt Jr?"

"Here Charlie." Em's massive frame fills the doorway.

"Okay then." Charlie gets to his feet and Em helps him down out of the truck.

"Thank you." He says, turning back to face me.

I nod, not trusting myself to speak and watch as he follows Em to the car.

As soon as they're out of sight Pete's all business.

"Come on then, let's get this show on the road. J, you'd better help her, I ain't driving down the interstate with her screamin' an' tryin' to rip the truck to shreds."

Jazz growls menacingly and Pete shuts the doors, chuckling to himself.

Asshole.

We travel for the next few hours in silence as Bella becomes increasingly distressed. Jazz has already stripped out of his clothes so he can press his body against her and help keep her cool but now he's got his arms and legs clamped around her too, to keep her still. I've seen more than I should, no underwear, but at least she's getting a mate with all the right, um, attributes.

She's thrashing and moaning now, occasionally screaming, and I if I feel like I'm going through hell with her it must be a hundred times worse for Jazz.

"Are you okay?" I ask him eventually.

"No." He growls. "I never wanted to relive this shit an' I've never tried to help anyone through it before."

"Why don't you take a break?"

"No. I'll cope."

"Jazz, I'm so sorry."

"Not your fault Rose."

"I know, but still."

"No offense but could you try thinkin' happy thoughts? This is hard enough without you gettin' all emo on me."

"Fuck you!" I snarl in outrage.

"That's more like it." He chuckles.

I kick him viciously and he chuckles again, snuggling closer to Bella and burying his face in her hair.

The next few hours pass in relative silence, the three of us lost in our own thoughts and Bella lost in her own pain.

"Couldn't you have stolen a faster truck?" I snark at Pete eventually to relieve the tension.

"I'm sorry O Blonde One." He drawls. "Next time the clumsy one chucks herself under a garbage truck I'll take time out to test drive 'em, shall I?"

"She's not clumsy." I huff and even Jazz laughs.

After another few hours.

"J, we gotta stop for gas, you gonna be able to keep her quiet?"

"Yeah." He sighs and I look at him carefully, there are enormous purple bruises under his eyes and I've never seen him look so _thirsty_.

"Jesus Jazz." I gasp. "You look like shit."

He growls.

"Are you going to be okay at the gas station?"

"Get Em, he can stop me if he needs to."

I nod and dial my cell, Em caught up with us a few hours ago and has been following behind.

"We're stopping for gas. We need you to keep an eye on Jazz, he's not doing so good."

"Great." He grumbles.

"I'll pump the gas. You and Pete watch him."

It's an hour or so before dawn and the gas station is deserted, just the clerk listening to some music on his stereo that must be killing a cluster of brain cells with every boom, and me filling the tank of the world's slowest truck. The pump is also slow and the urge to perform some percussive maintenance on it is almost overwhelming, as is the desire to laugh at Pete and Em, stood at the back of the truck with their arms folded over their chests looking like they're guarding a bullion delivery.

Finally.

I stomp up to the window and the clerk glances up, immediately doing a double take.

"Wow." He says under his breath.

A huge smile breaks out on my face and behind me Em laughs. I can't help it, I live to be admired.

"What's a beautiful woman like you doing in a shit hole like this?" The clerk asks as I hand over the money.

"Getting gas so I can drive straight through it." I drawl.

"Good one." He laughs, handing me the change. "Have a nice day."

"You too."

I saunter back to the truck and Em gives me a big hug.

"Who's a pretty girl then?" He coos and I poke my tongue out at him.

"Stop fuckin' about, we need to get out of here." Jazz snarls.

"Jeez, Major Grumpy." I complain as I climb back into the truck. "Keep your pants on."

"Haha." He snarks. "I'm gonna eat your little admirer in a minute, he smells like a fuckin' bear. Now let's go!"

Em gives me a wink and a little wave and slams the doors shut.

And we're off again.

Slowly.

After a while Pete's cell rings.

"Hey darlin' how's it goin'?"

"All good. The house is fine, just needs a good clean." Char responds.

Jazz and I roll our eyes.

"I'm getting J and Bella's room done first."

I open my mouth to object and then close it again with a snap. That's up to Bella, I remind myself, nothing to do with me.

Jazz smirks, confident what Bella will choose. And I smirk back. Don't be so sure buddy boy, Bella likes her space.

"Bella will need clothes." I point out. "We've left everything behind."

"You did Rose." Char laughs. "I didn't, Orly helped me pack before he left. We'll be okay for a while but we'll need a shopping trip fairly soon and someone's going to have to go back and close up the Ithaca house anyway. How she's doing? How long till you get here?"

"She's doin' well, J's takin' care of her and another couple of hours should do it." Pete responds. "We can ditch the truck and carry her once we're past civilisation."

"I'm not sure the good people of Minnesota would see it that way." Char laughs.

"Ah Minnesota." Pete sighs. "All that fresh air makes 'em extra tasty."

"_Please_." Jazz groans and we all laugh.

And the truck rumbles slowly on.

Bella's still thrashing and screaming occasionally but whatever Jazz is doing seems to be working. I owe him one.

And she's changing, gradually. Her skin is a little paler, her hair a little richer and I'm pretty sure she's a bit longer, which isn't that unusual, I gained an inch in height when I changed and Em got two. Being made of stone strengthens everything, including the ligaments and muscles that hold you up.

She doesn't smell human at all now. I can still smell her blood but there's nothing appetising about it anymore, its tainted, changed, and now it's changing the rest of her. Slowly and painfully.

The truck jerks to a stop and I snap out of my thoughts.

"Everybody out!" Pete yells, banging on the sides. "Shank's pony from here on in."

Jazz gets dressed while I try to comfort Bella and Pete gets ready to torch the truck. Em's not stopped with us, he's taking the car onto the ranch.

"There's deer here." Jazz says, sniffing the air. "I'm gonna hunt."

I nod. You never see him look thirsty, he always feeds much more often than the rest of us to take the edge off, but he looks it now. Face grey and drawn, huge purple bruises under his eyes.

"Go." I urge him. "We'll take care of her."

And he's gone in an instant.

Pete takes Bella while I sort myself out.

"She's firmin' up nicely." He observes. "An' she's gonna give you a run for your money in the looks stakes."

"That'll please Jazz." I giggle.

"Yep." Pete sighs happily. "We'll be buryin' the drained bodies of her admirers from here to eternity."


	48. Chapter 48

**Disclaimer: Stephanie Meyer owns all.**

**Rated M for several reasons.**

**Chpt 46 Good Morning Sunshine**

**RPOV**

The ranch is amazing. From the outside it's derelict and haunted looking. But the inside, any interior designer worth his salt would sell his soul to claim responsibility for this. I take my hat off to Char, I may like to live in opulent surroundings but I don't have the patience to create them, this place is mind blowing.

On the downside, The Charminator is going to have a shit fit when newborn Bella destroys it, and we're all going to have to live with the consequences.

Jazz carries her straight up to their room and sets her down in the tub which I fill with cold water and Char joins us quickly heaving in armfuls of ice.

"Were you a boy scout in a former life?" I ask incredulously.

"Nah." She chuckles. "I stopped at the store on the way in and the ice was on special."

Bella actually quits screaming for a moment and sighs, which is a relief to our sensitive ears.

Char and I sink down onto the tiled floor and watch as Jazz tenderly cleans her up, murmuring to her the whole time about how much he loves her and how great a life they're going to have together.

It's absolutely nauseating. Who is this vampire and what did he do with my irreverent twin?

When he's done we help him dry her and dress her in a simple cotton shift, leaving him curled up on the bed with her.

She's screaming again when Em arrives.

"Jeez." He groans into my hair as we hug. "That's some set of lungs she's got on her."

"You were a lot worse." I mumble into his chest.

"I did _not_ scream." He huffs. "I made manly noises indicating how well I was coping with the pain."

"Whatever."

A few hours later she's mercifully screamed herself hoarse and the rest of us creep into their bedroom to see how things are going. Once he again he's stripped off and curled around her protectively.

"Jeez Jazz." Em growls. "Would it kill you to wear underpants?"

"Wow." Pete mutters to Char. "I'm afraid you're still gonna be the shortest in the family my delicate little wife."

"I don't mind." She sighs. "Almost makes me wish I was a brunette."

"She's beautiful J." Pete says appreciatively.

"She was always beautiful." He whispers without looking up.

"How long?" Em asks, tucking me into his side and beaming like a lighthouse.

"I'm not sure." Jazz shrugs. "You did a good job Rose, its goin' to be a real short one."

My bite marks have already disappeared and her flawless skin is starting to sparkle faintly.

"Jazz you'd better go and hunt again if it won't be long. We'll sit with her while she's quiet." I offer.

"Okay. If you all step out for a moment I'll put some clothes on."

Laughing we retreat into the hallway and he joins us almost immediately.

"J." Pete snorts. "I don't think it's a good idea you bein' dressed like that when she wakes up."

Jazz looks down at his naked, scar covered but impressive, chest and hip hugging jeans.

"Oh." And he darts back into the room emerging again with a t-shirt and a smirk. "I forgot how awesome I am there for a minute."

I roll my eyes. He hasn't changed that much.

"Call me if there's any change." He orders, suddenly serious.

"We will J." Pete chuckles, standing back to let him down the stairs.

As soon as he's out of sight the rest of us make an undignified stampede to get to Bella.

I get there first, sharp elbows, and settle against the headboard with her lying against my chest. Pete nabs the space beside me, resting his head on my shoulder with his arm on Bella's. Char, who fought in the southern wars, trips Em and gets to hold Bella's hand while my scowling mate has to settle for curling up around her legs.

"I wish we had a camera." Char giggles.

"I feel sorry for her." Pete mumbles.

"Why?" Em asks.

"She's goin' to be the most babied vampire in history." Pete chuckles.

"And the most spoilt." Char giggles.

I lean down to kiss her hair. And the most loved.

"Do you think she'll have a gift?" Em asks after a while.

"Carlisle thinks she's bound to be some sort of mental shield." I confide. "Because Edward couldn't hear her as a human."

"J can feel her though."

"I don't know." I shrug. "It doesn't matter either way as long as she's not so clumsy."

"Never heard of a clumsy vampire." Char snorts.

"This is Bells we're talking about." Em mutters and we all laugh.

"Do you think she'll remember much?" Pete asks after a while. "It'd be sad if she didn't remember us or the fun we've had."

"I don't know." I sigh.

Em didn't remember anything except me carrying him home to Carlisle, some of the rest came back to him slowly over time. I remembered everything from the second I opened my eyes. Alice had nothing, a total blank slate. But for all of us it's important to keep reliving the memories you do have, human senses are so dull they're murky at the best of times and if you don't take care of them they fade like old photographs. I'm obsessive about it but some vampires are happy to let it go.

"Her heart's beating faster." Char observes.

"Must be gettin' near the end." Pete sighs.

"Do we need to get Jazz back?" I ask, bowing to Pete's superior experience.

"No, there's still a couple of hours."

We lapse into contented silence.

Bella twitches and mumbles from time to time but is otherwise calm.

My cell rings and Char fishes it out of my pocket.

"Esme." She explains, putting it on loudspeaker.

"Rose?"

"I'm here."

"How is she?" She sounds worried.

"Almost done."

"Is she okay?"

"She's perfect."

Esme sighs.

"I wish I was there."

"You can come and visit as soon as she's settled. We'd love to have you."

"That's a date Rose." She giggles. "Edward sends his love."

"Is he alright?" I ask, curious as to how he's dealing with all this.

"He's coping." She sighs. "He's still hoping Jasper and Bella won't be mates if I'm honest."

"I think that boat's sailed Esme." I tell her gently.

"I know. I understand why Carlisle's been cautious about the whole thing, it's the scientist in him, but from everything you've told me I think you're right. And it must mean something, that the pull was there while she was human."

I laugh quietly. Esme Cullen, the incurable romantic.

"I spoke to him while he was here. He really loves her."

"Yes, he does." I confirm. "How's Alice?"

"Also coping." Esme laughs. "She's had a new vision and apparently the trip to Milan is now of the utmost importance, she won't tell me why but Edward knows and is planning to go with her."

"Humph."

"Rose." Esme admonishes. "Live and let live."

"Humph."

"Oh Rose, I miss you." She sighs. "How's the family?"

"Good." "Great." "Hi mom!" "Hi Esme."

"They're all great." I laugh.

"Where's Jasper?" She asks in concern.

"We sent him hunting, he's been trying to manage Bella's pain."

The almost vampire in question groans, startling us all.

"Was that Bella?" Esme asks.

"Yes."

"Oh bless her. Give her my love when she wakes up."

"I will."

"I'd better go, your father sends his love by the way, he's very proud of you."

"Humph." For the love of god . . . .

Esme laughs ending the call and Char tosses my cell into the corner where it immediately starts ringing again.

"I ain't gettin' it." Pete growls.

Apparently no one is going to and eventually Char chucks the bedside lamp at it, squashing it into silence.

We all sigh contentedly.

Time ticks by and we measure it in the sound of Bella's rapidly escalating heartbeats.

"Maybe we should call J?" Pete suggests.

Em digs his cell out, still snuggled around Bella's legs and dials.

"Em." Jazz snaps.

"Time to come home bro." Em chuckles. "Your mate's almost done cooking."

"On my way." Jazz responds curtly.

"What do we do now?" I ask.

"Well Blondie." Pete sighs. "Normally I'd say flatten yourself against the wall an' brace for impact but since this is our little Bells I'm plannin' on stayin' where I am an' fuck the consequences."

A round of nods.

Bella's heart is thumping erratically now as it struggles to pump ultra-thin venom around her dried out veins instead of thick blood. Other than that the silence is only broken by the thunder of Jazz's feet as he bounds up the stairs and crashes to a stop in the doorway.

"Don't just stand there lookin' stupid!" Char howls. "Take a picture before she wakes up."

Obediently Jazz whips out his cell and the click of the flash dove tails neatly with the last thump of Bella's heart.

As one, we freeze.

"CAKE!" She shouts and as one, most of the newly formed Whitlock Coven are flung into the corners of the room as Bella Whitlock, newborn vampire, surges to her feet on the bed.

We wait.

You can see the confusion and near panic on her face. It's a lot to take in. The super clear vision, she's seeing things now she'd have needed a microscope for before. The hearing, ants tracking across the forest floor outside the window, animals breathing, aeroplanes passing over at 37,000ft. The sense of smell, different types of grass in the yard, fabrics, wood, wallpaper, they all have their own smell. The new body, so much more _there_ than the old one, more aware, more responsive. The lack of breath, blinking and heartbeat. The raging, all-consuming thirst.

The new mind, which helps you process the massive amount of sensory input. Waking up a vampire is an absolutely terrifying experience but if she remembers, she'll at least know what's happening and that should help.

The seconds tick by into a full minute during which she's gradually calmed down. She still looks actively freaked out but there's awareness in her eyes now as she looks around at us.

"I'm a vampire." She giggles and then her eyes go wide again and she clamps her hands over her mouth.

Ah yes, the new voice, that takes quite a bit if getting used to too.

"Rose, what happened to my cake?" She asks after a moment.

"I bit it Bella but it didn't turn, I'm afraid it's dead."

She giggles again and then sobers abruptly.

"Oh my god. Charlie!"

"He saw you, Em brought him, after we got you out of the hospital. He said goodbye Bella, he knows what's happening. We can talk to him later."

"I don't remember." She says getting distressed. "Why don't I remember? It's not fair, I want to remember."

Slowly I get to my feet and approach the bed instinctively opening my arms and she flies into them.

"It's okay. You might remember, give it time you've only just woken up. I remember, I can tell you everything when you're ready and you can speak to him yourself. It's okay."

New vampire emotions are a shock too, you get used to them over time but when you're a newborn they're the emotional roller coaster ride from hell, PMS on steroids, which is probably why females get over that part quicker than the males, more practice.

"You're soft." She gasps in surprise.

"Not exactly." I laugh. "You're a lot harder than you used to be. We'll all feel normal to each other now."

"Normal." She laughs shakily and then she hugs me back.

"Ow, ow, ow." I whimper.

"Oh, sorry." She slackens her grip but doesn't let me go.

"Newborn strength remember? You need to be really careful till you get a handle on it."

Tentatively she tightens her grip again but this time as soon as she feels my ribs move she stops with a happy sigh. The vampire brain only needs to learn how much force to use on something once and then it's stored forever.

"Quit hogging the hugs." Em says approaching us cautiously.

"Em!" She sings, abandoning me and throwing herself at him.

He catches her easily and they engage in a brief squeezing contest which Bella wins.

Then she has a group hug with Pete and Char, she doesn't even seem to have seen Jazz who's waiting patiently in the doorway with a strange smile on his face.

"Come on." Pete urges. "Bein' a vampire is even more awesome outside, let's go."

Eagerly we all turn and start out of the room, Jazz moving back into the hallway.

As she draws level with him she stops dead, inhaling deeply.

"Fresh cotton." She sighs appreciatively.

He smiles broadly and her eyes go wide.

"Jasper!" She squeals launching herself at him and wrapping her arms and legs around him.

Caught by surprise he just has time to close his arms around her before they plunge, boulder like, down the stairs.

Char growls loudly as their revolving bodies take out the bannister and opposite wall, leave a crater in the floorboards at the bottom of the stairs, flatten the couch and the coffee table before coming to rest, with Bella lying atop Jazz, in the fireplace.

Bella's hysterical laughter and Jazz's deep chuckle float up the wreckage of the stairs, which appearing to take offence, collapse in on themselves with a groan of splintering wood.

"Jasper fucking Whitlock!" Char howls. "You're repairing those stairs."

"I didn't do anythin'." He objects, rolling Bella over so she's underneath him.

"Yes you fucking did." Char screeches. "If you hadn't seduced her in the first place she'd never have trashed my stairs!"

She doesn't get a reply. Jazz's mouth is busy with other things.

"Ah." Char sighs, her mood doing a complete 180.

We all smile.

"Um." Em says after a minute. "They're not going to, um . . . ."

"I think they are." Char laughs indulgently.

With a heavy sigh I leap down the new gap in the upstairs floor and lope across to them, some things really should be private.

"Jazz, drop!" I order as forcefully as possible, poking his leg with my toe. "She needs to feed."

Abruptly Bella's hands leave his ass and fly to her throat.

"Burns." She gasps in surprise.

"Cock blocker." Jazz grumbles under his breath as he helps Bella to her feet.

Char appears beside me with an armful of clothes.

"Here." She offers. "More suitable attire for hunting."

After Bella's shredded the first pair of jeans Jazz helps her get dressed while she frets about the burn in her throat and whether or not she'll be able to hunt.

"It's completely instinctual." He explains as he buttons up her jeans and slides his hands around her waist. "We'll all help but you honestly won't need it."

"You feel completely different." She whispers, wrapping her arms around him.

"Better?" He asks, resting his head on hers.

"Much better." She answers, her hands roaming over the muscles of his back.

He shudders and she sighs.

"Ahem." Em interrupts. "I thought we were going hunting? I'm thirsty too."

Jazz and Bella share a secret smile and then turn to face us holding hands.

"Okay then!" She giggles, suddenly excited again, bouncing up and down on the spot. "Let's do this thing."

"You're mood swings are giving me whiplash." I huff as we follow them outside.

"I've still got that thermometer Rose." She growls and then stops dead at the bottom of the porch steps.

"Holy shit!" She squeaks.

"Take your time." Jazz says gently.

We watch her with goofy smiles on our faces as she looks around with eyes on stalks and her mouth hanging open slightly.

"Holy shit." She whispers quietly after five minutes.

"Ready?" Jazz asks.

She nods and he leads her off the steps at a gentle jog.

"Want to run?" He asks slyly as soon as we're in the trees.

"Okay." She responds hesitantly, looking around uncertainly at all the obstructions.

With a rebel yell he drops her hand and breaks into a run, catching his joyous mood the rest of us take off after him, with exultant shouts of our own. Running is one of _the_ best things about being a vampire, out here in the middle of nowhere, when it's safe to let go and be all that we are.

"Holy shit!" Bella shrieks as she catches us up. "I don't believe this!"

"This is nothin' Bells!" Pete laughs. "Feel the power and really let go!"

With another yell we surge forward together, pushing ourselves as hard as we can, streaking through the forest after Jazz.


	49. Chapter 49

**Disclaimer: Stephanie Meyer owns all.**

**Rated M for several reasons. Lemon.**

**Chpt 48 Mates**

**RPOV**

The joy of running culminates in the disaster of hunting.

Instinctual it may be but learning not to crush your prey when you are less than an hour old and in the grip of your first bloodlust takes several attempts. Several _messy_ attempts.

But four deer later she's getting the hang of it and has finally almost quenched the raging thirst which will be with her for the rest of her existence. That I do feel bad about but I hope that eventually she will learn, as I did, that it's a small price to pay. It's not always so bad, it gets better as you get older and need less blood, settling down into a sort of permanent ache, a bit like you get if you swallow a jawbreaker whole. There are only two ways to get rid of the feeling I know of, one is actually feeding and the other probably explains why vampires are so fond of sex and Virginward always has a face like a smacked ass.

Despite being in the grip of newborn bloodlust she's still been remarkably lucid, certainly enough that Jazz and I have been able to reason with her and coach her. No, that probably makes it sound better than it was. Jazz has the physical strength to restrain her, even Em was struggling, and I have the brass neck to get in her face despite her furious snarling and fingers hooked into talons. She used to be such a nice girl too.

So we got there and now we are all standing around her proudly as she drains her final kill. Neatly. Better late than never.

The lights are back on and the Bella we know is once again at home in the new improved body.

With a contented sigh she pushes the bled carcass off her legs and smiles up at us shamefaced. Ah the newborn year, perfect recall of every mistake you make and only a patchy ability not to repeat them.

"I'm a mess." She observes wryly.

Oh yes, covered in blood from head to foot.

"No way Bells." Em laughs. "Wait until you've fought your first bear."

"I don't think I'm a fighting bears kind of vampire Em." She says sadly, surveying the mangled corpses of her first meal.

"We'll get you there." He vows, puffing out his chest. Em is our bear man, anything else is beneath him and I often actually have to nag to get him to feed on spindly little deer.

Pete and Char are looking on with indulgent smiles, non vegetarians they've pledged to do everything they can to ensure she never feeds on a human but they really aren't into the whole animal thing. Char in particular disdains murdering Bambi when there's so much tasty human scum loose in the world. Em and Jazz got Pete to try a mountain lion once but he claimed he was sick for a week afterwards and I know that in reality he's not bothered if his meals deserve what they get or not, he's only selective out of love for Char.

Which if I'm honest is the only thing that keeps Em on the straight and narrow. Unconsciously I reach behind me and he squeezes my hand in his massive paw, resting the other on my shoulder.

Bella clambers to her feet, brushing herself down in a futile attempt to clean herself up and smiling ruefully at her appearance. Her shift is sodden and her jeans ripped and torn, I hope Char's got a state of the art laundry room.

I glance over at Jazz to gauge his reaction.

He's standing a little to one side, eyes deep dark holes of ebony, nostrils flaring, lips curled into the ghost of a smile, fists clenching and unclenching against his thighs.

Supressing a giggle I nod toward him and Em follows my gaze.

"I see." He chuckles knowingly, fingers splaying out to caress the crescent scar on my trapezius muscle.

Pete and Char glance over too, smirks appearing on their faces.

Oh Bella, I hope you enjoy it.

"Well then." Pete observes brightly. "I think it's time for all the nice, long time mated vampires, to head home. Bells an' J clearly have somethin' they need to attend to."

Bella looks around questioningly, her eyes finally alighting on Jazz.

Immediately they darken and narrow. For a newborn flipping between the ability to multitask and the sudden urges that force you down a single thought process is dizzying. Bella's barometer has just gone from bloodlust to plain old lust.

Laughing quietly and with just a hint of jealousy the rest of us melt backwards into the trees.

**BPOV**

My mate. Mine. I can feel it. I know it. And the fact that I can't explain it doesn't matter at all.

He is magnificent.

"Mine." He growls echoing my thoughts, reaching up with one hand and slowly ripping his t-shirt from his body.

The fading light glows on his pale skin, picking out the fluid lines of the well defined muscles on his arms, chest and abdomen. Highlighting his silhouette perfectly against the darkening forest behind.

His body is criss-crossed with scars and my stomach turns over slowly at the sight of them. My mate is a warrior, a survivor, able to protect me.

And I want him.

"Mine." He growls again, advancing towards me slowly.

Instinct takes over and I turn and run, pushing my new body as fast as it will go but I can hear my mate behind me, gaining on me and I laugh with joy as he launches himself at me, tackling me easily to the ground.

My mate is strong and fast.

He covers my body with his, pressing me into the mulchy forest floor as he moves my hair away from my neck, burying his face there and inhaling my scent.

"Mine." He purrs softly into my skin and I shudder all over as the amorphous shapes of his love, lust and possessiveness flutter against me.

Lazily he laps at the blood on my neck and shoulder as I lay quietly beneath him, his hands travelling lightly up and down my arms, thumbs massaging my skin.

"Mine." He purrs again, teeth dragging across the skin at the juncture of my neck and shoulder. Another shudder runs through me.

"Yours." I confirm. Every part of me. Forever.

With a sharp intake of breath he rears up, ripping away my ruined shift and jeans, running his hands over my back and the curve of my hips before lifting me up onto my knees.

"Mine." He whispers, circling his hands around my waist and trailing them over my ribs as he pulls me back against his chest. "Mine to love, mine to claim."

"Yes." The feel of his hands on me and his body pressed against mine is intoxicating but as much as I want to turn and throw myself at him I don't, I won't. I am in my mate's care now.

His big hands move up to cup my breasts, drawing a moan of need from me as they close around them, trapping the hardened peaks between his fingers.

Once again he bends his head to lap at the blood drying on my skin, purring quietly as strokes his tongue across my skin, hands still kneading my breasts. My own hands drop to his thighs, on either side of mine, rubbing up and down them, feeling the denim protest through my palms.

Still licking he shifts his grip, wrapping one arm tightly across my chest to pull me harder against him and gliding the other down my body to tear away my flimsy panties. Without pausing his hand slides between my legs, fingers caressing me and his purr turns into a groan, his licks into gentle nips at my flesh. His teeth on me are a revelation and I moan wantonly, pushing myself down onto his hand.

I want and need my mate to possess me, to give me the pleasure I know he can and shamelessly I grind my hips against his hand, guiding his flirting fingers to my aching clit.

"Aahh." I moan as they caress it, lavishing it with the attention I crave.

I try to move with him, to set the tempo my body is screaming out for but he holds me firmly in place, instead rubbing his erection against me and groaning into my ear. Driving me wild until I'm making noises like an animal and burning with the need to have him inside me.

My head falls back onto his shoulder and his mouth moves to my exposed throat, nipping and kissing it as his fingers stroke me and our body's undulate together with more force.

"_Need_." I whimper.

"What do you need?" He growls, sucking hard on the flesh at the base of my neck and plunging two fingers inside me.

"You." I gasp as the heat and tension of an impending orgasm spiral up within me. "Ungh . . . . need . . . . claim me . . . ."

With the sound of rending denim I find myself pushed forward onto my hands and knees but before I can protest the loss of contact he shoves into me smoothly from behind and we both moan at the pleasure of it.

My moan turns to a whimper as he begins to grind slowly in and out of me, one hand curling around in front to stroke my throbbing bundle of nerves.

Meaningless animalistic sounds of pleasure start falling from my lips as that spiralling climax builds rapidly again despite the slow rhythm and I reach for it desperately, pushing back against him with each long deep thrust. Focussing completely on my inner flesh, giving and taking around his thick length, and the feel him teasing my hyper sensitive clit.

Leaning down he drags his teeth and tongue across my back and I groan long and loud as my orgasm rolls through me in drawn out, _powerful_ waves, clenching and unclenching my out of control muscles. And the feel and smell of it sends my mate into a frenzy.

With a low growl he grips my hips roughly, suddenly driving into me with hard, deep, fast thrusts, our body's slapping together as the animal in me is exults. Yes! And I'm lost, totally given over to sensation of my mate claiming me. There is only my mate and I, together.

I lock my arms to brace myself against his surging, gratifying, invasion of my body, twisting my head to the side as he leans down and captures my mouth with his, kissing me hard and deep as we gasp and moan into each other.

And I have another need as he thrusts into me, pumping warmth and electricity through my hollow veins, making them sing with desire and pleasure. I need his bite. I want what he's promised me, I want to be his.

I'm going to explode, each time he stretches and fills me before retreating another spark falls onto the tinderbox inside me.

"Ungh . . . ." He groans, dragging his mouth from mine and leaning away from me, altering the angle at which our bodies join. "So right . . . . so close . . . . so mine . . . ."

My arms stretch out in front of me, hands grasping frantically at the damp earth, pushing back harder against my mate until he releases my hips, winding one arm around my waist as he leans down to cover my back with his chest, supporting our weight with his other arm. Again I turn my head and our mouths crash against each other, reaching desperately for a passionate kiss as our wildly pitching bodies threaten to pull them apart.

It's too much, I can't stand it . . . . I can't cope . . . . I need . . . . Oh god it's coming . . . . My skin goes cold, goosebumps spreading like wildfire, muscles spasming, mouth opening in a silent scream.

"Argh!" He cries out, length swelling and convulsing as he begins to release inside me, each deep thrust rushing me headlong into the impending explosion. "MINE!"

I hitch in a ragged breath ready to scream as he sinks his razor sharp teeth into me at the base of my neck, slicing into the thick muscle easily.

And I _do_ scream, with every fibre of my being, as pleasure and pain collide, surging through me, obliterating me, sending me careering into the abyss.

The dead weight of my mate collapses on top of me and I flop to the ground, spent, gasping reflexively for breath.

…..

Slowly I come back to myself. I am Bella Whitlock and the man covering my body with his, still deeply lodged inside me, is Jasper the man I love. My vampire mate.

"Mine." He sighs happily, licking tenderly at his bite mark. "Does it hurt?"

"No." I answer with a happy sigh of my own.

Love fills me, leaving me with no room for anything else, but still the words won't come. They're stuck in my throat and I feel like I'm choking on them.

"I _know_." He whispers. "It's okay. I love you too."

"Is it wrong that I want you again already?" I mumble as he covers my face with feathery kisses.

"Not from where I'm layin'." He chuckles quietly and I feel him twitch and grow inside me which sends lust surging through my body again.

Agonisingly slowly he starts grinding his hips into me and I mewl in pleasure.

I thought running was the best thing about being a vampire, boy did I have low expectations.


	50. Chapter 50

**Disclaimer: Stephanie Meyer owns all.**

**Rated M for several reasons.**

**Chpt 49 Newborn Notes**

**RPOV**

Having the buried the corpses from the Great Minnesota Deer Massacre the rest of us wend our way home. Pete and Char jumping straight up to their room with undignified haste.

I call Charlie first and his relief that Bella is 'alive' and well sets off my own. I don't think any of us appreciated quite how much we worried about her while she was a fragile human. There's nothing fragile about her now and in a couple of years I might actually let her, with appropriate supervision, attempt buy another cake. Jazz, however, will be taking out the trash until hell freezes over. Fortunately Charlie doesn't ask me why she hasn't called herself, not that I could tell him, you can only push a father so far.

Next I call Esme who is overjoyed to have a new 'granddaughter'. She does ask to speak to Bella but being a mated vampire herself understands why she can't come to the phone right now.

"Ah, so sweet." She sighs.

"There's nothing sweet about it." I growl. "I just hope Major Alpha Vampire can control himself and she doesn't come back looking like she's been mauled by one of Em's bears."

"Oh Rose." She laughs. "She'll be fine. It almost makes me jealous."

"Me too." Em chips in from the other side of the room, sliding a hand inside is straining sweat pants and running the other over the muscles under his tight white t-shirt.

With a hiss I turn my back on him. I'm talking to my mother, has he no respect?

"Well." Esme concludes with a knowing laugh. "I'll let you guys get on. Give her my love when she gets back and tell her Carlisle and I are looking forward to seeing her."

"Will do." I end the call and turn to give my husband a piece of my mind.

My completely naked, very aroused husband.

The rebuke dies on my lips as I drink in his perfectly sculpted body and black, black, eyes.

"Mine." He growls, rising fluidly to his feet.

"Yours." I whisper, reaching up to touch his mark on my skin.

"Come here." He orders.

Automatically I get up and close the distance between us.

His huge hands weave into my hair, cupping my face as his descends.

"_Mine_." He breathes into my mouth as my lips part for him.

…..

Day one and day two we are able to keep ourselves _occupied_.

On day three, when we emerged blinking into the daylight, we decided to go check on the Newly Mateds.

They were fine. Better than fine. Very happy in fact.

We went home again and washed our brains out with soap.

…..

On day four Char and Pete decided to go check on the Newly Mateds.

Apparently they surprised the newborn mid hunt. There was some unpleasantness.

…..

On day five, as Char and I are pretending not to watch Pete and Em duke it out on some mindless video game, Jazz's smirking face appears around the living room door.

"Hello." Pete drawls, pausing the game. "To what do we owe this unexpected pleasure?"

"We need clothes." Jazz chuckles.

"Really?" Pete asks, raising his eyebrow. "Cos yesterday they didn't seem all that important J."

"Pete I'm quite happy to stroll through here naked." Jazz threatens.

Outside Bella giggles.

"No." Em jumps to his feet. "I've seen enough of your naked ass to last me a lifetime Jazz. I'll get something."

"Thank you." And with a wink Jazz withdraws.

Seconds later Em returns with two of my frothier, less see through, peignoirs, tossing them out the door with a snigger.

"Asshole." Jazz's snarl floats in through the open door.

Holding hands they shuffle in. And I don't think I've laughed so much in my life.

Bella's hair which contains half the forest is funny enough, but Major Macho in a purple peignoir barely covering his ass cheeks, is to die for.

It took Char and I three hours, four bottles of conditioner and a seriously long lecture to get all the crap out of Bella's hair. A vampire only gets one head of hair and you should never underestimate the effort required to take care of it.

We also got all the gory details on the last five days, never underestimate the power of a woman with a hairbrush to extract information from a reluctant victim, vampire or not.

And I have to admit her mating scar is small and cute, kudos to my erstwhile twin.

…..

Her inaugural phone call to Charlie doesn't go very well.

The first handset was crushed. Jazz held the second one but despite practising beforehand she really struggled to speak slowly enough for Charlie to understand her.

And she didn't cope with the disappointment very well. I was left to soothe a mildly freaked out father while Jazz took her outside to vent her frustration on the landscape.

…..

Jazz has fixed the stairs and many other incidentals. So many in fact that Pete's bought him his own tool belt. Not very helpful, turns out Little Miss Role Play likes a vampire with a well-stocked tool belt.

Oh who am I kidding? She just likes Jazz. They're inseparable, something that hasn't changed.

And he's so happy he's projecting the whole time. My fucking face _aches _with smiling. I just hope they aren't outside when she finally gets her head out of her ass and actually tells him she loves him. Major Soppy might just float away in a little cloud of bliss.

Nasty.

…..

I _loathe_ newborns.

Every time you want to use something Little Miss Ham Fisted has broken it. Every time you want peace and quiet Little Miss Violent Tendencies is on one. And every time you want some family together time Major Newly Mated and Little Miss Nympho are at it like rabbits.

And of course it's nearly always my problem.

"_Rose, Bella's ripped the kitchen door off again."_

"_Blondie, she fuckin' bit me, you need to talk to her."_

"_Babe, I didn't know she was going to freak out I swear, I thought she'd like bear hunting."_

"_Rose, what did you expect me to do? I'm her mate, she took all her clothes off . . . ."_

My nerves are shot and I need a vacation. Fucking sense of responsibility will be the second death of me.

…..

And now I'm mad at my mate. Idiot! He took Bella hunting and then got distracted by a bear, if Major Separation Anxiety hadn't been following them we'd have been down two post graduates studying the local wildlife, and one strictly vegetarian vampire.

…..

Renee has pissed her off. It took a few months for her to realise something was wrong, but when she did she kicked up a stink. Briefly. Then she convinced herself that Bella'd run off with some secret college sweetie and would resurface again when maturity and motherhood dawned. Which frankly says more about the airhead that is Renee than it does Bella.

Just saying.

…..

Well, that's the last time we'll get the UPS guy to come all the way up here. And the whole town thinks we're rearing Bengal Tigers.

…..

Charlie's dating. That's made her sad. It's tough in our situation, when you realise that life goes on without you, no matter how happy you are about it in reality.

…..

The doting 'grandparents' have been for a visit, Carlisle's Mercedes overflowing with expensive gifts that Little Miss Magnum Force will probably crush. Fortunately the Ed Head and Nosey went to Milan instead. After last time I've rethought my head on approach to getting the extended family to bond, we've nothing but time. I'll be honest, I don't understand Nosey and her prescriptive approach to happiness, but I do have a sneaking sense of sympathy for my brother. Not a lot because he's a prick, but a bit. And I hope that having fallen in love once he can do it again one day, and not fuck it up. Maybe, eventually, he'll make some lame vampire a nice mate. But not Bella, though I'll never tell I'm thrilled that she's with Jazz, he loves her the way she should be loved. Unconditionally.

The sap.

…..

Humanisation hasn't been going well. Learning to slow down is a nightmare and no matter how much someone tells you about the lure of human blood there really isn't anything to prepare you for it.

Still, nobody has died yet, although her mate has a couple of new scars.

…..

Today we've actually been into town.

Just strolling up and down the sidewalk, but still, massive progress.

…..

Not a good day today.

Bella came face to face with a hiker. She didn't kill him but she did scare the shit out of him.

Literally.

We told him we were up here to get her over her drug problems and gave him a change of pants.

I can't help but be proud. She may have seemed 'crazed' to him but the fact that she didn't drain him was impressive.

And he was lucky, if she hadn't been able to control herself one of us would have had to have killed him anyway.

…..

She's definitely got a gift, other than being annoying. I'm not sure what use being a mental shield is besides repelling the Ed Head but it sure is funny when Jazz has upset her and she uses it on him.

He's so attuned to feeling her emotions that when she cuts him off you can practically hear his balls contract.

Now that's power in a relationship. And she doesn't abuse it nearly as much as she should. Char and I have so much still to teach her.

…..

Finally we're getting somewhere.

The gaps between Bella's multiple personalities, when the real person comes through, are getting longer and you can actually hold a proper conversation with her again now. At least you can if you can prise her away from her mate for long enough. Joined at the hip is the phrase that springs to mind.

She can dress herself, feed herself, wash her own hair, use a laptop without pounding it into dust and even beat Em at Call of Duty without resorting to actual physical violence. Em is another matter when it comes to losing at that particular game but I have my own methods for making his balls contract.

In short she is now almost a grown up vampire, her eyes an unblemished, gorgeous, burnished gold.

And I'm a complete wreck.

Which is why, against my better judgement, Em is insisting on taking me away for a two week vacation and Esme is lending us her private island in the sun.

The family Whitlock are gathered on the porch as Em loads the truck with our luggage.

"How long are you goin' for Blondie?" Pete asks disingenuously.

"Three bikinis for every day Pete and at least two outfits for the evenings." Em chuckles on his way past with the last trunk.

"On a deserted island?" Pete gasps in wonder.

I flip him the finger while Em's back is turned.

"Leave it Petey." Char says easily. "Rose isn't the type to beat her speedos with a stick every night before turning in."

He opens his mouth to say something clever but Jazz slaps his hand over it, shaking his head.

"Have a good break Rose, we'll see you when you get back." He says, dragging a frantically struggling Pete back into the house.

Bella and I stare at each other wordlessly.

"I can't stand it when you two get all emotional." Char drawls with perfect sarcasm, making her own exit.

"I'll miss you." Bella says quietly, looking down at her bare wriggling toes and I sigh, how many times do we have to have the 'for the love of god wear shoes' conversation.

"Humph."

"Thank you." She says carefully, not quite looking me in the eye.

"For what?"

"For coming back for me and for saving my life."

"Technically I killed you." I point out.

"Yes you did. You did a very good job of it too."

I sigh, I don't remember human Bella having quite this much cheek, or as Em puts it, knowing exactly how to press my buttons. And as much as I need this me time I really don't want to leave her, she's under my skin, worrying at me, like a damn splinter.

"Have a wonderful vacation." She urges, darting forward and hugging me tight. "You look like you need one."

"Jeez, I wonder why." I huff.

"Tsk." She giggles. "I feel like I should say or do something suitably emotional at this point."

"Don't you fucking dare." I growl into her hair.

"_Babe_." Em admonishes.

I hug her back, breathing in her sweet freesia scent.

"Try not to get in any trouble while I'm gone."

"When do I ever get in trouble?" She asks with wide eyed innocence as Em starts dragging me away.

". . . ."

"Come on babe." Em chuckles quietly as he prods me, still speechless, into the truck. "The apron strings will stretch to Isle Esme and you can spank her when we get home, it'll give you something to look forward to."

I scowl at her laughing face in the mirror as we storm down the drive, watching as Jazz comes up behind her wrapping his long arms around her and burying his face in her hair.

Another, heavier sigh escapes me, I guess she'll be okay for a couple of weeks.

**The End**


	51. Chapter 51

**Disclaimer: Stephanie Meyer owns all.**

**Rated M for several reasons.**

**Epilogue**

**RPOV**

Two weeks of absolute bliss. Sunshine, solitude, Em. I'm me again. Pampered, spoilt, idolised and back at the top of my game.

We've agreed to stop off in New Hampshire to catch up on the gossip and I stretch languidly as Em turns the truck down the drive.

"Happy?" He asks, patting my knee.

"Oh yes." I reply with a satisfied smile.

"Looking forward to getting home?"

"Yeah." I sigh. It's a new sensation but what can you do? You have to work with what you're given. I have a family of my own now and god help me I've even missed Pete.

Carlisle and Esme, the picture perfect couple, are waiting for us on the steps.

"Rose." Esme greets, enveloping me in a welcoming hug. "Your vacation has obviously agreed with you."

"Yes, thank you. It was wonderful."

With hugs all round we settle ourselves in the living room to exchange post vacation pleasantries.

"So?" I ask eventually.

"Well." Esme titters. "We were right. The Milan trip was definitely about a man. His name is Roberto and apparently he's as rich a Croesus."

"And?"

She hands me her cell with a smirk.

"Wow. A small but perfectly formed package." I'm impressed.

"Ahuh." She coos, taking it back and setting it to scroll the images.

I flip through and then can't contain my laughter. There, hovering in the back of every photo of the happy couple he hasn't taken, is Emo Ed, The Phantom Head Dipper.

"That must have been some rousing courtship." I snicker.

"_Rose_." Carlisle warns me.

I hand the cell to Em.

"Oh come on Carlisle. That poor vampire, meets and falls in love in a romantic Italian city and gets tailgated everywhere by Broody McVampire, Mind Reader Extraordinaire. How creepy is that?"

"Either the guy's got balls of steel or they didn't tell him." Em agrees.

"Rose." Esme sighs. "If it makes any difference to you I don't think he had a very good time, he's still quite sad right now and I doubt he found it easy to see Alice fall in love too."

"Nosey didn't fall in love, she willed it." I huff. "There's a difference."

"Back of the open minded queue?" Carlisle drawls.

"You know it." I toss my hair back. "After beauty there was hair, then nails . . . ."

"I'm so sorry." He nods toward me courteously. "I forgot, how silly of me."

"Anyway." Esme rushes on. "He isn't terribly happy at the moment and when they get back next week he's asked to go down to the island for a while."

I can't help it. I start humming. _All by myself. Don't wanna be, all by myself anymore . . . ._

"Rose!" Carlisle coughs, trying not to laugh. "I fancy I know the lyrics of that song better than you do but nevertheless your sentiment is entirely inappropriate. Your brother _has_ behaved somewhat like a horse's ass but he _is_ the one who is suffering the consequences."

"Fine."

"I thought it would be." He smirks, flicking some imaginary dust off his sweater.

"So." Esme continues. "Alice has got me planning the wedding . . . ."

"Already?"

"Well, no, not quite yet. Being able to see the future is very helpful I suppose . . . ."

"Humph."

"And I wondered if you wanted any help with yours?"

"Excuse me?" Em and I like to re-tie the knot from time to time, but really, there's no rush at the moment.

"Jasper and Bella?"

My father actually laughs and I shoot him a withering glare that has him inspecting his sweater again, shoulders heaving with silent mirth.

"Yes, Alice said they'd only want something simple but she did say they wouldn't want to wait . . . ."

Mom's still talking. "She thinks Bella will want to get married before Charlie, so he can come to hers without any awkward explanations about why the wedding party are all sparkly and since Bella is technically missing, well you know the issues . . . ."

". . . ."

"Babe." Em says gently, pushing my mouth closed with his finger and planting a soft kiss on my forehead. "It's okay, it'll be fine."

I need another vacation.

**A/N Once again thank you to everyone who has come along for the ride and reviewed it along the way, you are great motivators. I really enjoyed playing with Rose and indulging my inner bitch, lol.**

**Anyway, I'm not sure what to do next. I've an idea for something shorter but probably a bit depressing or maybe a Cowboy Coven Adventure. When I make up my tiny mind I'd be happy if you'd all take a look and tell me what you think.**

**Thanks for helping me!**


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